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EPISODE 79: CRYSTAL CASTLES

ATARI BYTES

Release Date: 07/30/2017

331: FOLLOW THAT POD show art 331: FOLLOW THAT POD

ATARI BYTES

Happy holidays! ATARI BYTES returns from hiatus with episode 331, the annual holiday special. We take a break from games and story writing to catch up on some movies. And we've made it all the way to 1985! So that movie-catching is coming along great! Earlier this year, we played the Sesame Street inspired game "Cookie Monster Munch", so it seemed like we should do a Sesame Street inspired movie. So, from 1985, we've got FOLLOW THAT BIRD. Big Bird has moved away! Oh no! What is the gang going to do?!?! Take a break from the relatives and give a listen!  Thanks to Sean Courtney for the...

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330: 'CAUSE I'M THE TAX AVOIDER, MAN (Tax Avoiders for the 2600) show art 330: 'CAUSE I'M THE TAX AVOIDER, MAN (Tax Avoiders for the 2600)

ATARI BYTES

We're getting down to the last few days of tax time in America as this episode goes out. Why not relieve some of that mathematical stress with a podcast! In 330, we're playing the 1982 game TAX AVOIDERS, the intense adventure of tax sheltered investments.  Then once you've listened to this episode...go back and listen to some of the other 329 - for the first time! Or again! - because ATARI BYTES is taking a little hiatus. But keep is in your feed and hearts. We'll be back! Thanks to Kevin McLeod at Incompetech.com for creative commons use of his songs Reformat, Pinball Spring, Take a...

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329: ME WANT COOKIE! ER...EPISODE. NO, DEFINITELY COOKIE! (Cookie Monster Munch for the 2600) show art 329: ME WANT COOKIE! ER...EPISODE. NO, DEFINITELY COOKIE! (Cookie Monster Munch for the 2600)

ATARI BYTES

Peanut butter and jelly. Laverne and Shirley. And now Atari and Muppets. All great things that belong together. In episode 329, we're playing COOKIE MONSTER MUNCH for the 2600. This 1983 joint effort by Atari and The Children's Computer Workshop is a showcase for Cookie Monster. (I was more of a Grover man, myself. But Cookie is pretty cool.) But is it a tasty confection or a stale day old paper weight? Bad Poetry Corner: Don't Let the Cookie Crumble Thanks to Sean Courtney for the "Storytime" theme.

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328: MASTER OF NONE (Master Builder for the 2600) show art 328: MASTER OF NONE (Master Builder for the 2600)

ATARI BYTES

In 328, we build on the massive tower of gaming experiences we've had on this show with MASTER BUILDER from Spectravision, 1983. Does it stand tall and proud or all come tumbling down? Listen and find out! ORIGINAL SHORT STORY: Building Up Expectations Thanks to Sean Courtney for the "Storytime" theme.  

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327: GET YOUR KICKS! (Kickman for the 2600) show art 327: GET YOUR KICKS! (Kickman for the 2600)

ATARI BYTES

327 features the 1983 prototype KICKMAN from CBS Electronics, based on the arcade game, which also wasn't that popular. Why didn't it work out? One guess.... No, not that. It's balloons! This game is full of 'em.  And even in 1983, they knew to stay away from balloons. Why didn't we listen? Thanks to Sean Courtney for the Storytime theme

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326: SLAM THE CHAMBER DOOR! (Dark Chambers for the 2600) show art 326: SLAM THE CHAMBER DOOR! (Dark Chambers for the 2600)

ATARI BYTES

By 1988, the 2600 was feeling a bit long in the tooth. But once in a while, it could still enthrall the gamer of the day.  So, does DARK CHAMBERS from Sculptured Software enthrall or enrage? Throw open the chamber door on this episode and see what happens.  Bad Poetry Corner: HEART BEAT ON DARK CHAMBER DOORS Thanks to Sean Courtney for the "Storytime" theme.  

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325: GO FOR THE GOLD! (INCA GOLD for the 2600) show art 325: GO FOR THE GOLD! (INCA GOLD for the 2600)

ATARI BYTES

In 1982, Canadian-based department store chain Zellers  thought it would be fun to take a break from selling washers and socks and whatever and instead program Atari games. Why? Dunno. But I played one. It's called Donkey Kong. No, wait. Sorry! It's called INCA GOLD. You'll understand why I was confused after episode 325. Original Short Story: GOLD STANDARD Thanks to Sean Courtney for the Storytime theme.  

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324: RAISE A GLASS TO GAUNTLET! (2600) show art 324: RAISE A GLASS TO GAUNTLET! (2600)

ATARI BYTES

Is Answer Software's 1983 title GAUNTLET the answer to all our gaming needs? Hold your water and listen to episode 324. Raise a glass to not spilling a glass. No, really. Look, just listen to the episode. Thanks! Original Short Story: UNDAUNTED GAUNTLET Thanks to Sean Courtney for the "Storytime" theme.  

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Ep 323 TIME WARP (2600) show art Ep 323 TIME WARP (2600)

ATARI BYTES

Episode 323 is a bargain. I mean, not like cheap socks or 2-for-1 toasters like you could get at Zellers in Canada in the 1980s. (I'm just guessing about that.) But in this episode, we're playing TIME WARP, one of two games Zellers developed in 1983 all on its own for the 2600, maybe in aisle 3 between the winter coats and MC Hammer parachute pants. And the episode is ABSOLUTELY FREE! No coupon required. You're welcome. Original Short Story: The Terminal. The Eternal. And the Guy Who Counts Time. Thanks to Sean Courtney for the "Storytime" theme. All you need to know about this show, ATARI...

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322: MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!! show art 322: MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!!

ATARI BYTES

No Christmas content really this episode, but it's dropping on Christmas Day, so...MERRY CHRISTMAS! Hope you and yours have a lovely day and joyous holiday season! Here at the podcast, we're relaxing with a movie as is our tradition for the last episode of the year. This time, it's the 1963 classic JASON AND THE ARGONAUTS. Ancient Greek Gods! Skeletons with swords! Goat-based slapstick! As usual, we have a friend dropping by for movie time. It would be great if it was Santa Claus, but we got someone even better! Jeff Fulton from "Into the Verticial Blank" joins me on the quest to find the tree...

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More Episodes

If you learn only one thing from ATARI BYTES episode 79, let it be this:  Bears who live in crystal castles, shouldn't throw magic gems.

Wait. That's not it.

Actually, throwing magic gems is exactly what you should do in this 1983 Atari port of the proto-3D arcade adventure game CRYSTAL CASTLES. I mean, how else is Bentley Bear going to defeat the evil witch Berthilda? With an earnest heart-to-heart over steaming lattes?*

*I'm totaling waiting for someone to make a steaming latte adventure homebrew game.

Why is Bentley the only bear for this job? Did Fozzie, Yogi and Smokey say no? Is crystal really the ideal building material for a castle? So many questions...

Thanks to Kevin McLeod at Incompetech.com for creative commons use of his songs "Take a Chance," "Reformat" and "Pinball Spring".

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