+1 #135: Repairing Relationships
Heroic with Brian Johnson | Activate Your Best. Every Day.
Release Date: 12/10/2017
Heroic with Brian Johnson | Activate Your Best. Every Day.
Today's +1 features wisdom from John Wooden, Phil Stutz, Tim Grover, David Goggins and Epictetus. Heroic: https://heroic.us ← "Heroic is the best self-development platform in the world." — John Mackey, co-founder & former CEO of Whole Foods Market Want access to more wisdom in time? Get access to over 1,500 +1's (just like this!) and 650+ Philosopher's Notes (distilling life-changing big ideas from the best self-development books ever written) and a LOT more with our Heroic Premium membership. Learn more and get 30 days free at https://heroic.us
info_outline What Wooden Told His Players: Right Before They Entered the Arena (Heroic +1 #1,710)Heroic with Brian Johnson | Activate Your Best. Every Day.
Today's +1 features wisdom from John Wooden. Heroic: https://heroic.us ← "Heroic is the best self-development platform in the world." — John Mackey, co-founder & former CEO of Whole Foods Market Want access to more wisdom in time? Get access to over 1,500 +1's (just like this!) and 650+ Philosopher's Notes (distilling life-changing big ideas from the best self-development books ever written) and a LOT more with our Heroic Premium membership. Learn more and get 30 days free at https://heroic.us
info_outline Your #1 Job As a Leader: “Make Greatness Attainable by All” (Heroic +1 #1,709)Heroic with Brian Johnson | Activate Your Best. Every Day.
Today's +1 features wisdom from John Wooden, Abraham Maslow and Dr. Edward Hoffman. Heroic: https://heroic.us ← "Heroic is the best self-development platform in the world." — John Mackey, co-founder & former CEO of Whole Foods Market Want access to more wisdom in time? Get access to over 1,500 +1's (just like this!) and 650+ Philosopher's Notes (distilling life-changing big ideas from the best self-development books ever written) and a LOT more with our Heroic Premium membership. Learn more and get 30 days free at https://heroic.us
info_outline The Pyramid of Success: The 15 Virtue-Blocks => Competitive Greatness (Heroic +1 #1,708)Heroic with Brian Johnson | Activate Your Best. Every Day.
Today's +1 features wisdom from John Wooden and Aristotle. Heroic: https://heroic.us ← "Heroic is the best self-development platform in the world." — John Mackey, co-founder & former CEO of Whole Foods Market Want access to more wisdom in time? Get access to over 1,500 +1's (just like this!) and 650+ Philosopher's Notes (distilling life-changing big ideas from the best self-development books ever written) and a LOT more with our Heroic Premium membership. Learn more and get 30 days free at https://heroic.us
info_outline Competitive Greatness: The Summit of Wooden’s Pyramid of Success (Heroic +1 #1,707)Heroic with Brian Johnson | Activate Your Best. Every Day.
Today's +1 features wisdom from John Wooden and Andrew Hill. Heroic: https://heroic.us ← "Heroic is the best self-development platform in the world." — John Mackey, co-founder & former CEO of Whole Foods Market Want access to more wisdom in time? Get access to over 1,500 +1's (just like this!) and 650+ Philosopher's Notes (distilling life-changing big ideas from the best self-development books ever written) and a LOT more with our Heroic Premium membership. Learn more and get 30 days free at https://heroic.us
info_outline Be Coachable: Are You? (Heroic +1 #1,706)Heroic with Brian Johnson | Activate Your Best. Every Day.
Today's +1 features wisdom from John Wooden. Heroic: https://heroic.us ← "Heroic is the best self-development platform in the world." — John Mackey, co-founder & former CEO of Whole Foods Market Want access to more wisdom in time? Get access to over 1,500 +1's (just like this!) and 650+ Philosopher's Notes (distilling life-changing big ideas from the best self-development books ever written) and a LOT more with our Heroic Premium membership. Learn more and get 30 days free at https://heroic.us
info_outline Coach Wooden Playing Chess: Process >> Outcomes (Heroic +1 #1,705)Heroic with Brian Johnson | Activate Your Best. Every Day.
Today's +1 features wisdom from John Wooden. Heroic: https://heroic.us ← "Heroic is the best self-development platform in the world." — John Mackey, co-founder & former CEO of Whole Foods Market Want access to more wisdom in time? Get access to over 1,500 +1's (just like this!) and 650+ Philosopher's Notes (distilling life-changing big ideas from the best self-development books ever written) and a LOT more with our Heroic Premium membership. Learn more and get 30 days free at https://heroic.us
info_outline How to Go NEXT LEVEL: In Life’s Most Important Games (Heroic +1 #1,704)Heroic with Brian Johnson | Activate Your Best. Every Day.
Today's +1 features wisdom on using process goals to reach outcome goals. Heroic: https://heroic.us ← "Heroic is the best self-development platform in the world." — John Mackey, co-founder & former CEO of Whole Foods Marke Want access to more wisdom in time? Get access to over 1,500 +1's (just like this!) and 650+ Philosopher's Notes (distilling life-changing big ideas from the best self-development books ever written) and a LOT more with our Heroic Premium membership. Learn more and get 30 days free at https://heroic.us
info_outline Do It Now! (Part II): Inspired? Dominate! (Heroic +1 #1,703)Heroic with Brian Johnson | Activate Your Best. Every Day.
Today's +1 features wisdom from Rick Rubin, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Steven Pressfield and John Maxwell. Heroic: https://heroic.us ← "Heroic is the best self-development platform in the world." — John Mackey, co-founder & former CEO of Whole Foods Market Want access to more wisdom in time? Get access to over 1,500 +1's (just like this!) and 650+ Philosopher's Notes (distilling life-changing big ideas from the best self-development books ever written) and a LOT more with our Heroic Premium membership. Learn more and get 30 days free at https://heroic.us
info_outline What’s Your Recovery Time?: Play the Speed Is a Force Turnaround Game (Heroic +1 #1,702)Heroic with Brian Johnson | Activate Your Best. Every Day.
Today's +1 features wisdom from Phil Stutz, Michael Gelb, Marcus Aurelius, and Morihei Uesheba. Heroic: https://heroic.us ← "Heroic is the best self-development platform in the world." — John Mackey, co-founder & former CEO of Whole Foods Market Want access to more wisdom in time? Get access to over 1,500 +1's (just like this!) and 650+ Philosopher's Notes (distilling life-changing big ideas from the best self-development books ever written) and a LOT more with our Heroic Premium membership. Learn more and get 30 days free at https://heroic.us
info_outlineIn our last +1 we chatted about the difference between FALLING in love and STANDING in love.
It’s easy to fall in love. It’s considerably more challenging to stand in love—whether we’re talking about an intimate relationship with a significant other, a child or a dear friend.
So, know this: We’re inevitably going to run into conflict and challenges in our intimate relationships.
THAT’S
A
GIVEN
Today’s +1 is a key practice for STANDING in love.
Leading mindfulness and neuroscience and relationship expert Dan Siegel tells us that when something inevitably goes wrong in a relationship we want to REPAIR it as quickly as we can.
One of the examples he uses to make his point is a story about a time when he, Mr. Mindfulness, “flipped his lid,” turning off his prefrontal cortex and going full limbic-lame yelling at one of his kids.
(Laughing as I type that as a) It’s always refreshing to see a world-class teacher and practitioner humbly reminding us that no one is perfect and b) I very much know the feeling as the father of a very energetic 4-year-old. 😃)
So, we have an interaction that we’re not proud of.
Then what?
Then, you REPAIR the relationship as quickly as you can.
Something like, “Wow. I got really impatient / loud / fill-in-the-blank. I flipped my lid! I’m so sorry about that and I can see what Needs work (https://www.optimize.me/plus-one/needs-work/). I just want you to know I’m sorry and that I love you and that I’m committed to getting a little better at handling those challenging moments in the future.”
* insert potential hug *
We don’t want those little micro-moments of negativity to stew into jumbo-resentments and unhealthy cauldrons of ick.
Take a deep breath. Drop into your heart. Label the emotion Name It to Tame It! (https://www.optimize.me/plus-one/name-it-to-tame-it/). Practice some Active Love (https://www.optimize.me/plus-one/active-love/). Use whatever tool you need to do to regain your Equanimity (https://www.optimize.me/plus-one/the-equanimity-game/).
And then Repair.
Today’s +1 Optimizing opportunity: Any Repairs waiting for you?