024 Doesn't emotional intelligence mean manipulating people?

In this and the next episode we are looking closer into what emotional intelligence is and how it can improve your personal as well your professional life.

I am answering the 10 most common questions we are being asked about emotional intelligence and the questions we are answering today is:

Doesn’t EQ mean manipulating people?

Before I answer today’s question, I want to share today’s quote which is from Daniel Goleman and it goes like this:

"Emotions are contagious. We've all known it experientially. You know after you have a really fun coffee with a friend, you feel good. When you have a rude clerk in a store, you walk away feeling bad."

 

Daniel Goleman

When you think of a "perfect leader," what comes to mind?

You might picture someone who never lets his temper get out of control, no matter what problems he's facing. Or you might think of someone who has the complete trust of her staff, listens to her team, is easy to talk to, and always makes careful, informed decisions.

 

There is a lot of things you can use to manipulate people; marketing, sales, leadership. And if you want to use EQ to manipulate people, feel free to do so, it is YOUR choice.

However, if you choose to do so, it says very little about emotional intelligence and a lot about who you are as a person, your character, your integrity and your personality. People are not stupid, they will see through your disguise.

And when they have figured out that you have been dishonest and have been lying to them, they will never have faith in you again, good luck in gaining their trust back.

Some say that those with high EQ can easily manipulate people. They say that if you can accurately „read” people, find out their needs, values and weaknesses, if you can get under their skin, you can make them do anything.

 

Obviously, these ideas come from people who don’t have a very high EQ and don’t understand what emotional intelligence is about.

Stay tuned to find out more...