In these troublesome times for our Country and World, you should know that there is a dude. A dude who asks only for the occasional adult beverage, a dude who does mind, the Dude minds. “This will not stand”, he’ll say, “ya know, this aggression will not stand man.”
Mike is the dude, so that’s what you call him. That or His Dudeness of Duder or El Duderino if your not into the whole brevity thing. Above all, the Dude Abides: and you should find comfort in that.