Call the Psychiatrists
Psychiatrists answer listener questions.
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43. Love Languages; Therapist Not On My Side
05/10/2024
43. Love Languages; Therapist Not On My Side
On this episode Karol asks for our opinion on The 5 Love Languages: are they useful or are they harmful? The study we referenced from University of Toronto which summarizes recent attempts at empirically validating the "love languages" can be found . In part 2 (19:30), a listener feels like her therapist is not on her side and said something hurtful to her on purpose. We discuss confrontations and countertransference among other things. We'd love to hear from you! Send us a questions or feedback at our .
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42. Marijuana Use Before Therapy?; Burned Out Therapist?; Holiday Break
01/31/2024
42. Marijuana Use Before Therapy?; Burned Out Therapist?; Holiday Break
Krystal’s therapist would prefer she not use marijuana before a session even though she thinks it would be helpful to loosen her "emotional logjam". Michael (17:02) questions his decision to be a therapist and whether he is actually helping anyone. We discuss possible burnout and steps Michael could consider before making any major career changes. We have an update from Rachel from episode 40 (29:18) who feels bad she didn't end her relationship with her therapist sooner. Lastly, Christopher (34:00) is a therapist who wonders if we handle vacations around the winter holidays differently. If you have questions or feedback please send a message (voicemail or email) on our .
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41. Final Session Revelation; Therapist Approached Me at Work
01/18/2024
41. Final Session Revelation; Therapist Approached Me at Work
On this episode Tess’s psychiatrist revealed a shared diagnosis in their final session, making Tess wonder if withholding information is necessary. Lilith's therapist (16:50) visited her at work, leaving her feeling confused, especially since she would like the relationship to be closer. If you have questions or feedback please send a message (voicemail or email) on our .
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40. Therapist Hiding; Prolonged Grief; Thank you note 2
12/13/2023
40. Therapist Hiding; Prolonged Grief; Thank you note 2
On this episode a listener’s therapist hid behind a magazine after they saw each other in public. Yazmin (12:31) wonders if therapy could be helpful for the grief she’s experiencing a year after her husband died. The resource about prolonged grief at Columbia University can be found . A listener (21:20) gave a thank you card to their therapist but he didn’t acknowledge it which is creating distance in the relationship. The very end of our discussion highlights one of the themes in the show. We have a review at 11:22 which includes a suggestion to review _Freud's Last Session_ once it's released. Please contact us if you think you'll see the movie and would like to discuss it. "No regular listener of this podcast thinks that I believe I'm above ridiculousness." If you have questions or feedback please send a message (voicemail or email) on our .
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39: Edges of Therapy; Too Smart for Therapy?; Thank You Note
11/08/2023
39: Edges of Therapy; Too Smart for Therapy?; Thank You Note
On this episode Yolanda has a question about the moments before and after a therapy session. Lindsay specifically wonders about her preference for the relationship she has with her therapist at this periphery of the therapeutic encounter Jim (18:14) worries that he may be too smart for therapy to work. Marion (25:49) wants to know if it would be weird to give her therapist a thank you note. If you have questions or feedback please send a message (voicemail or email) on our You can also message us on Facebook or Instagram @callthepsychiatrists
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38. Therapist Asking For Feedback; Therapist Changing the Rules
10/13/2023
38. Therapist Asking For Feedback; Therapist Changing the Rules
On this episode Amalia is annoyed that her therapist asks for lots of feedback at the end of each session. Kim (12:30) wants to address the "elephant in the room" after her therapist cut off all communication between sessions without an explanation. If you have questions or feedback please send a message (voicemail or email) on our You can also message us on Facebook or Instagram @callthepsychiatrists
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37. Therapist Rubbing My Back; Therapist on Vacation 2
08/28/2023
37. Therapist Rubbing My Back; Therapist on Vacation 2
On this episode a listener’s therapist has started rubbing her back when she’s upset and she wonders if this is normal. Then we return to questions about vacation: A listener (9:03) is upset by their therapist’s upcoming vacation and is thinking of not going back to the office; Beth’s therapist (16:08) just got back from vacation and they’re having a hard time getting re-connected; and a therapist asks (23:48) how we prioritize our patients after a vacation. Feedback at (8:30). If you have questions or feedback please send a message (voicemail or email) on our You can also message us on Facebook or Instagram @callthepsychiatrists
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36. Couple Seeing the Same Therapist; Therapist Discloses Religious Identity
07/22/2023
36. Couple Seeing the Same Therapist; Therapist Discloses Religious Identity
Alice and her husband see the same therapist individually and as a couple. The therapist told Alice’s husband they should get a divorce. At (12:43) a 17 year-old listener feels like there are things he can’t talk to his therapist about after she disclosed her religious identity. If you have questions or feedback please send a message (voicemail or email) on our website: https://www.callthepsychiatrists.com You can also message us on Facebook or Instagram @callthepsychiatrists or chat in the comment section on Threads.
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35. First Therapy Session Not So Magical; Stalking My Therapist
06/29/2023
35. First Therapy Session Not So Magical; Stalking My Therapist
Larissa was nervous during her first online therapy session with Betterhelp and wants some tips on how to be prepared for the next session. She was told the first session "is where the magic begins". An anonymous listener (16:57) has a history of stalking their therapist and has the desire to repeat those behaviors with a new therapist. They feel ashamed and want to stop. If you have questions or feedback please send a message (voicemail or email) on our You can also message us on Facebook or Instagram @callthepsychiatrists.
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34. Fatherhood, Parenting; Transference in Psychotherapy
06/16/2023
34. Fatherhood, Parenting; Transference in Psychotherapy
Danny has mixed emotions about Father's Day. He’s trying to balance his needs with the demands of parenting and wants to hear more about fatherhood. He’s also curious if being psychiatrists changes our views on parenting. Michelle (34:30) is a newly minted therapist and has questions about the role of transference and countertransference in our sessions. She’d also like to know if we have advice for someone just starting out as a therapist. _______ David argues that balancing personal and parenting needs can be especially hard when--like Danny--you're trying to create a different kind of life for your child. At 08:33 we discuss the various meanings of fatherhood. We discuss our personal experiences starting at 12:49 which quickly becomes sentimental. At 17:29 we discuss parenting as psychiatrists. At 24:50 David has 2 hot tips from psychotherapy that he applies to parenting. David recommends (32:00) the work of David Lancy to get some perspective on modern parenting (http://www.anthropologyofchildhood.usu.edu). The books we mention at the end of Act 2 for the new therapist are: by Irvin Yalom, M.D and by Jane Hall, LCSW If you have questions or feedback please send a message (voicemail or email) on our website:
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33. Therapist Hurts My Feelings; Ashamed of Therapy; Oprah Says Be Your Own Best Friend
05/25/2023
33. Therapist Hurts My Feelings; Ashamed of Therapy; Oprah Says Be Your Own Best Friend
Therese’s feelings have been hurt by her therapist but she feels invalidated each time she brings it up. Candice (15:51) feels ashamed of being in therapy and wants to be more comfortable with the idea of talking to others about it. Lila (30:40) wonders about Oprah’s advice to be your own best friend. David guesses these sentiments come out of the story of codependency. We end with some discussion of the Oprah empire and Abby's undying love If you have questions or feedback please send a message (voicemail or email) on our website: https://www.callthepsychiatrists.com You can also message us on Facebook or Instagram @callthepsychiatrists.
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32. A Good Therapy Session?; Realization of Abuse; Frozen at the End of a Session
05/04/2023
32. A Good Therapy Session?; Realization of Abuse; Frozen at the End of a Session
We have 3 listener questions. In the first question Keith wants to know how therapists determine whether a session is good or bad. Then Ellen (11:35) tries to make sense of her reaction after her therapist names something in her past as abuse. Finally, Jane (17:42) was frozen at the end of her last therapy session and wonders if it’s worth going back. Feedback is at 10:52. If you have questions or feedback please send a message (voicemail or email) on our website: https://www.callthepsychiatrists.com You can also message us on Facebook or Instagram @callthepsychiatrists.
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31. Supervision; The Favored Client; Therapist Lost Weight But I Didn’t
04/20/2023
31. Supervision; The Favored Client; Therapist Lost Weight But I Didn’t
In the first question a listener wonders why her therapist is talking about her in supervision. She's curious about what supervision is and how therapists make use of it. In the second question (23:47) a listener is concerned that she feels jealous about the client her therapist is seeing before her. Abby expresses outrage on the listener's behalf and we offer lots of speculation. (The listener asked to remain anonymous. We call her Ann but it's not clear in the recording that we made up the name). In the final question (38:12) a listener worries about being left behind because her therapist is losing weight and she isn’t. Feedback is at (22:13): something positive plus a well-crafted burn. If you have questions or feedback please send a message (voicemail or email) on our website: https://www.callthepsychiatrists.com You can also message us on Facebook or Instagram @callthepsychiatrists.
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30. Late cancellation; Is Psychoanalysis Right For Me?; Therapy Frequency and Cost
04/06/2023
30. Late cancellation; Is Psychoanalysis Right For Me?; Therapy Frequency and Cost
In the first question a listener feels slighted by her therapist's cancellation policy. We start by discussing these policies more generally. It's a little dry but the discussion gets better by 12:25 when we talk about our listener's specific situation. In the second question (17:50), someone's therapist has suggested increasing the frequency of their sessions and beginning psychoanalysis. He wants to know what the benefits of this might be and how psychoanalysis differs from other forms of psychotherapy. In the final question (30:12), a psychiatrist asks how we deal with the financial implications of a patient increasing the frequency of their sessions. Discussions about money are weird and this one is no exception. If you have questions or feedback please send a message (voicemail or email) on our website: https://www.callthepsychiatrists.com You can also message us on Facebook or Instagram @callthepsychiatrists.
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29. Therapy Anxiety; Diagnosis; Good Enough Bond
03/08/2023
29. Therapy Anxiety; Diagnosis; Good Enough Bond
In the first question, a listener gets really nervous around her therapist and wonders if it’s even worth it. Our second question (at the 16:40 minute mark) is from someone who wonders why her therapist isn’t talking about the diagnosis on her invoice. We take a few tangents including: the perils of overdiagnosis and underdiagnosis; the limitations of our diagnostic system; the over-identification with labels. It has a slight soapbox vibe but it's not too bad. In the third question (at 32 minutes), a listener has noticed that we talk about our therapies in very different ways and wonders what makes a good therapy relationship. David finally discloses more about his experience. You'll hear feedback from episode 28 at 14:30. Go Team Sarah. If you have questions or feedback please send a message (voicemail or email) on our website: https://www.callthepsychiatrists.com You can also message us on Facebook or Instagram @callthepsychiatrists.
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28. Crowdsourcing Decisions; Do I Need to Hate My Therapist?
02/22/2023
28. Crowdsourcing Decisions; Do I Need to Hate My Therapist?
In the first question a listener is struggling with her boyfriend's need to crowdsource information before making any decisions--from sharing personal details of their relationship with his family to checking Reddit to find the best pasta sauce. We start by discussing the lack of boundaries in the family. At 09:45 we start offering some advice on how to navigate the dilemma (it gets better the more you listen). At 14:19 we pivot to the demand that everything is rated on a 5 star scale. By 16:43 we move on to the work of psychologist Barry Schwartz and his popular book The Paradox of Choice. We discuss optimizers and satisficers as a way to try to understand the boyfriend. The second question (at 25 minutes) is from someone trying to understand an idea he came across: that a patient must first view their therapist in a positive light but eventually must learn to hate them. We try to unpack this lazy quotation using Dr. Mahler's theories on separation and individuation. The listener wonders about his own therapy which we discuss starting at 33:16 and at 36:47 Abby discusses her own "rageful hate" towards her therapist and how powerful it was to resolve it. Feedback from the last episode is at 24:04 If you have questions or feedback please send a message (voicemail or email) on our website: https://www.callthepsychiatrists.com You can also message us on Facebook or Instagram @callthepsychiatrists. Barry Schwartz's TED talk about his book The Paradox of Choice: https://www.ted.com/talks/barry_schwartz_the_paradox_of_choice
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27. When Interpretations Don't Land Well
02/01/2023
27. When Interpretations Don't Land Well
This episode is all about interpretations. We have questions from both sides of the therapy room. The first question comes from a listener who is a therapist. She wonders how to recover from the sting when an interpretation she makes doesn’t land well. The second question (18 minute mark) is from someone in therapy with a similar problem: how does she move forward when she isn’t in agreement with her psychiatrist's observations. If you have questions or feedback please send a message (voicemail or email) on our website: https://www.callthepsychiatrists.com You can also interact with us on Facebook or Instagram @callthepsychiatrists. The full quotation mentioned in the episode: "I am human, I think nothing human is alien to me" --Publius Terentius Afer (Terence)
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26. Therapist's Office; Longing For My Therapist; Kids Leaving Football
01/18/2023
26. Therapist's Office; Longing For My Therapist; Kids Leaving Football
A listener finds security in her therapist's office and wonders about the thought that goes into the decor of an office. Our second question (starting at the 16 minute mark) comes from someone longing for her therapist and is curious where this comes from and why she monitors his physical appearance and body language so closely. Finally (at minute 24), a mother plans to stop her kids from playing football but is concerned about the emotional and social fallout in her Texas community. There's also feedback on episode 25 and a brief discussion of psychiatrist Dr. Valerie Kinbott from Netflix's Wednesday. If you have questions or feedback please send a message (voicemail or email) on our website: https://www.callthepsychiatrists.com You can also interact with us on Facebook or Instagram @callthepsychiatrists. American Academy of Pediatrics position paper on tackling in youth football: https://publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article/136/5/e1419/33807/Tackling-in-Youth-Football?autologincheck=redirected JAMA article mentioned in this episode about Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy: https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jama/fullarticle/2645104
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25. Therapist Says I'm Not Trying; Better But It's Not Me
01/04/2023
25. Therapist Says I'm Not Trying; Better But It's Not Me
Our listener in part 1 is worried because his therapist doesn't think he's trying hard enough to get better and he's afraid his treatment will end as a result. In part 2 (around 19 minutes) a listener says the antidepressant drug he is taking has helped but he struggles with accepting this newfound state as himself--that he's "under the influence." If you have questions or feedback please send a message (voicemail or email) on our website: https://www.callthepsychiatrists.com You can also interact with us on Facebook or Instagram @callthepsychiatrists.
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24. First Birthday: Questions About Us and the Show
12/14/2022
24. First Birthday: Questions About Us and the Show
To celebrate our first birthday, listeners ask us about the show. Among other things, we discuss our motivation for doing a podcast, what we've learned, and the experience of having patients listen to the show. It's self-indulgent; it's filled with neuroticism. It's like having family over for the holidays. So come and celebrate with us. There's also feedback from episode 5 and a final question related to the previous episode about Stutz. If you have questions or feedback please send a message (audio message or email) on our website: https://www.callthepsychiatrists.com You can also interact with us on Facebook or Instagram @callthepsychiatrists
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23. Ending a Long Therapy; Discussion of the documentary _ Stutz _
11/30/2022
23. Ending a Long Therapy; Discussion of the documentary _ Stutz _
In this episode we have a listener who has a question about terminating a long-term therapy. They ask, "How do you know when you're done?" We then discuss the new Jonah Hill documentary _ Stutts _ in which Jonah profiles his psychiatrist and his approach to psychotherapy. (The Stutz discussion starts at 25:58). If you have questions or feedback please send a message (voicemail or email) at our website: You can also interact with us on Facebook or Instagram @callthepsychiatrists.
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22. FX _The Patient_
11/09/2022
22. FX _The Patient_
What can we learn about therapy from the FX original show _The Patient_ (streaming on Hulu)? We talk about internalizing your therapist, feeling held hostage (figuratively) by a patient and taking care of people where it may be hard to mobilize empathy. We discuss some of the therapeutic interventions in the show and try to keep our quibbling about the plot to a minimum. If you have questions or feedback please send a message (voicemail or email) at our website: https://www.callthepsychiatrists.com You can also interact with us on Facebook or Instagram @callthepsychiatrists.
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21. Hug From My Therapist; Sibling Conflict and a Dying Parent
10/26/2022
21. Hug From My Therapist; Sibling Conflict and a Dying Parent
Our first question is from a listener who would like a hug from his therapist. Our second question comes from someone dealing with sibling conflict and a dying parent. Please submit your questions (voicemail or email message) at our website: https://www.callthepsychiatrists.com You can also interact with us on Facebook or Instagram @callthepsychiatrists. We appreciate and welcome your feedback.
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20. Cheating on your Therapist; Virtual Therapy
10/12/2022
20. Cheating on your Therapist; Virtual Therapy
In this episode a listener has a question about cheating on his therapist; our second question comes from someone who is getting tired of virtual appointments and would like to get back in the office to see her therapist in person. We discuss our experience with the pros and cons of online therapy and speculate what may be going on for our listener. Please submit your questions (voicemail or email message) at our website: You can also interact with us on Facebook or Instagram @callthepsychiatrists. We appreciate and welcome your feedback.
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19. Helping a Paranoid Friend
09/28/2022
19. Helping a Paranoid Friend
In this episode a listener asks how to support a friend with sudden onset paranoid delusions. We discuss possible diagnoses like brief psychotic disorder and review a few different types of interventions. Please submit your questions (voicemail or email message) at our website: You can also interact with us on Facebook or Instagram @callthepsychiatrists. We appreciate and welcome your feedback.
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18. Perfectionism and Procrastination; Building Trust with a Therapist
09/07/2022
18. Perfectionism and Procrastination; Building Trust with a Therapist
In this episode we answer 2 questions. The first listener has a question about perfectionism. Among other things, we discuss the connection between perfectionism and procrastination. Our second listener wants to know how to build trust with her therapist. We close by revisiting some previous comments about parental transference (projecting the role of parent onto one's therapist) Please submit your questions (voicemail or email message) at our website: You can also interact with us on Facebook or Instagram @callthepsychiatrists We appreciate and welcome your feedback.
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17. Medication versus Therapy; Angry With My Therapist
08/24/2022
17. Medication versus Therapy; Angry With My Therapist
We answer 2 questions in this episode. The first listener wants to know how we choose between psychotherapy and medications in the treatment of anxiety and depression. Tangents include a recent sensationalized article about the serotonin hypothesis of depression. The second listener became angry at her therapist and worries her therapist will end their relationship. Please submit your question (voicemail or email message) at our website: https://www.callthepsychiatrists.com You can also interact with us on Facebook or Instagram @callthepsychiatrists We appreciate and welcome your feedback.
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16. Competing with a friend in therapy; Is my therapist prepared?
08/03/2022
16. Competing with a friend in therapy; Is my therapist prepared?
We have 2 listener questions. Our first listener sees the same therapist as her friend and is feeling jealous about their relationship. We explore the different sides of this triangle. The second listener has questions about the way her therapist schedules people, finding it unsettling to step into the emotional muck left by the previous person. She wonders about the time needed to prepare for a session, the number of sessions per day and how one determines the value of treatment. Please submit your question (voicemail or email message) at our website: https://www.callthepsychiatrists.com You can also interact with us on Facebook or Instagram @callthepsychiatrists We appreciate and welcome your feedback.
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15. Spouse Demands Therapy; Therapist on Vacation
07/06/2022
15. Spouse Demands Therapy; Therapist on Vacation
We answer 2 listener questions: The spouse of our first listener is insisting that they get couple's therapy and that he see an individual therapist. Our second listener feels conflicted about their therapist taking an extended vacation. Please submit your question (audio or email message) at our website: You can also interact with us on Facebook or Instagram @callthepsychiatrists We appreciate and welcome your feedback.
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14. "Trust the Process"; Humor in Therapy; Emotional Growth
06/15/2022
14. "Trust the Process"; Humor in Therapy; Emotional Growth
We answer 3 unrelated listener questions: what's meant by "trust the process"; how do you feel about humor in therapy; and a question about emotional growth. We would love to get your questions or feedback. Please send us an audio message or an email at our . We're also online at Facebook and Instagram @callthepsychiatrists _____________ The quotation in this episode that Abby couldn't attribute is from Norman Doidge: "Psychoanalysis is often about turning our ghosts into ancestors, even for patients who have not lost loved ones to death. We are often haunted by important relationships from the past that influence us unconsciously in the present. As we work them through, they go from haunting us to becoming simply part of our history."
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