Loving and Living the Quran

Reflections on Quran and Spirituality

Follow a worthy leader [5:55] 04/10/2024

Follow a worthy leader [5:55] Here is today's reflection from the Quran: In Sura Maida, the Quran whilst talking about whom to take as a Wali, says: Your Wali is only Allah, His Apsotle, and the faithful of those who keep up prayers and give alms while they bow. [Quran 5:55] As we commemorate the occasion of the martyrdom of Imam Ali (as), let us reflect on this verse to remind us of his position as various scholars from all schools of Islamic thought concur that this verse was revealed in response to an act of Imam Ali [as]. Before we begin reflecting on the verse, let us examine a key word in this verse which is Wali: The word Walī in Arabic has various meanings in English, a friend, protector, guardian, leader, one whom a follower inclines to, to name a few. Although it can mean friend, in the context of this verse, Scholars argue that it means something more than an ordinary friend. Scholars explain that it is not possible that Allah would tell us to befriend only those who have these two specific qualities. Therefore, they explain, that Walī here means a leader, both in a physical and a spiritual sense, for the guidance of believers. It must also be noted that no Prophetic traditions are reported for this verse which would support the use of Wali for friend in this verse. The verse begins by talking about how the believers should only take 3 entities as one's primary leaders, protectors or guardians: 1. God: One's primary protector (Wali) is God, one of whose Names is Wali 2. His Prophet [saw] and then 3. Other believers as awliya' who are distinguished by two primary and very specific qualities: a. they establish salaat and b. they give charity while they bow [that is, in a state of salaat while in the state of ruku] The verse refers to an incident in the life of the Holy Prophet (saw), which is widely reported by all major schools of Islamic thought. A companion named Jundub reports: 'Once I performed the noon prayers in a mosque, behind the Prophet (saw) then, a beggar came in but no one attended to him. The beggar extended his hands towards the heaven and said, 'O God, bear witness! Here, in the mosque of the Prophet of God (saw) I asked (to be given something), but no one attended to me. The Holy Prophet [saw]'s cousin and son in law, Ali (as), who was in the state of ruku', saying his prayers, gestured with his hand, inviting the beggar to take a ring which was on his little finger. The beggar stepped closer and removed the ring from Ali's (as) finger. This incident took place in the presence of the Prophet (saw)'. Whilst reflecting on the occasion of revelation of this verse, it is interesting to note that no one heard the man when he called out to the people but when he complained to, and asked God directly, He answered his call through this action of Imam Ali (as) In the first instance, let us use this verse to remind ourselves to follow worthy leaders, specially those that have been chosen and ratified by God Himself. Secondly, we can also use this verse to encourage the practice of giving charity whenever it is required and scholars use it to remind believers to emulate Ali's example by giving charity as soon as one recognizes that someone is in need. On a broader level, this verse also teaches us that worshipping Him cannot be separated from serving humanity. In fact, the message of Islam can be encapsulated thus: Believe and Do Good. Worship Him and serve His creation. Connect to Divinity and recognize and attend to the needs of humanity. Imam Ali (as)'s charity during the act of ritual worship combined the essence of Islam in one single unified action. How cool is that? /episode/index/show/marziahassan/id/30760753

Be lenient with those that trigger you [3:159] 04/10/2024

Be lenient with those that trigger you [3:159] For the next couple of days, we will inshallah explore the following verse from Sura Ale Imran: So by mercy from Allah, [O Muhammad], you were lenient with them. And if you had been rude [in speech] and harsh in heart, they would have disbanded from about you. So pardon them and ask forgiveness for them and consult them in the matter. And when you have decided, then rely upon Allah. Indeed, Allah loves those who rely [upon Him]. (Quran 3:159) There is so much to discuss and learn from in this verse. Today, let us give a bit of background and discuss the segment: So by mercy from Allah, [O Muhammad], you were lenient with them. And if you had been rude [in speech] and harsh in heart, they would have disbanded from about you. So pardon them and ask forgiveness for them. This verse refers to the Holy Prophet(saw)’s demeanor with his companions after the disaster on the battlefield of Uhud. In the battle, Muslims in the Prophet Muhammad's (saw) army defended themselves against the raiding Quraish army. The Muslims had an initial edge under the leadership of the Holy Prophet (saw). In flagrant disobedience to his command, some companions left their posts in the midst of battle and began to celebrate victory. This disobedience cost the Muslims dearly and they suffered a defeat in the battle. By all standards of military command and submission to leadership, the expectation was these rogue companions would be dealt with severely. The Holy Prophet [saw], however, did not reproach them harshly. Here the Quran testifies to the gentle nature of the Prophet (saw) which endeared him to all, and it is reckoned as one of the Mercies of Allah. One of the Prophet's titles is "A Mercy to all Creation." At no time was this gentleness, this mercy, this long-suffering with human weaknesses, more valuable than after a disaster like that at Uhud. He continued on the wise course of action, continued to do the right thing and continued to treat people with kindness. We can learn so much from this part of the verse. In life we often deal with people [in the family, community, at work and beyond] who challenge our ego by not following advice or guidance, who do things that cost them, and sometimes us, dearly. That bruise our ego and lead us to become defensive and aggressive. It is oh so very tempting in that situation [especially if we have more power, resources and influence than them] to act by reacting with the hurt to our ego. Justifying ourselves and telling them “I told you so” are just a couple of examples of unhelpful behaviour in such a situation. However, this never works because it will 1. not help the situation 2. not help them learn – it will simply divert their energies to defending themselves from our words 3. will definitely alienate them from us 4. we will be reacting based on their behaviour and not our principles or values [meaning we will not be satisfied with our own behaviour] This verse reminds us that positions of leadership require that we have the emotional maturity and wisdom not to react or retaliate to other’s actions. So what can we do? 1. Remind ourselves of our intention 2. Remind ourselves of our principles and values 3. Ask ourselves what would help this situation 4. Consider options for our action based on the above And, as the verse reminds us: 5. Pardon them and 6. Ask forgiveness for them And yes, none of this easy AND it is the only path which allows us to exemplify self leadership and qualifies us to lead others. /episode/index/show/marziahassan/id/30760798

Consult them in the matter [3:159] 04/10/2024

Consult them in the matter [3:159] Continuing with this verse from Sura Ale Imran: So by mercy from Allah, [O Muhammad], you were lenient with them. And if you had been rude [in speech] and harsh in heart, they would have disbanded from about you. So pardon them and ask forgiveness for them and consult them in [some of] the matter. And when you have decided, then rely upon Allah. Indeed, Allah loves those who rely [upon Him]. (Quran 3:159) After appreciating the Prophet [saw] for being lenient with his companions who disobeyed him, the Holy Prophet [saw] is advised to consult his companions. Scholars explain that in this verse, “consult them” refers to strategies of war, since the Prophet by definition would not consult them in matters of revelation or in laws and commands decided by Allah (swt). The Holy Prophet (saw) often consulted his family and companions. He would consult on military strategy from those who were in the trenches. He also established the seeking of counsel as a role model and encouraged it to nurture the wisdom and insight of his followers. Commentators believe that this quality helped the Prophet (saw) win over people and made him a successful leader. Consultation has so many benefits, both for those consulting and those being consulted. When we are in the midst of a situation or a problem, it is often challenging to see the big picture or reflect on how our behaviour is playing out in the situation. Our own self-interest and ego often results in tunnel vision, which may lead to actions not in our ultimate best interest. Seeking counsel and consultation from a spouse, a good friend, a trusted colleague or a trained professional at such a time can be hugely beneficial as it can provide us with a sounding board and help illuminate blind spots and errors in thinking. Seeking consultation becomes even more important when the stakes of a particular decision are high. It is for this reason that many CEOs, leaders and high ranking professionals turn to consultants to think through their decisions and get feedback. Reality is that the higher your status in life, and the more powerful the position you hold, feedback and accountability is generally not forthcoming unless you intentionally seek it out. For those who are in lower down on the ladder of power and privilege, the opportunity of being heard and having their ideas listened to is invaluable in building their self-confidence and buy in to the team or group. (The Holy Prophet (saw) exemplified this when he intentionally sought out consultation from his companions). When you consult others, you have the support of others in decision making and can fill out the gaps in your thinking. Imam Ali (as) said: Whoever seeks advice of the intelligent ones becomes enlightened with the lights of [many] intelligences. (LOVE this - can you imagine, becoming enlightened with many intelligences? How cool is that?. He also said: It is right that the intelligent one should add to his opinion the opinions of the intelligent ones, and add the knowledge of the wise ones to his knowledge. In other words, consulting others in big and small matters expands our own thinking and brings to light things that we may not have considered. The likelihood of mistakes becomes less when more people think about a matter. Varied intellects and experiences are less likely to be wrong than one individual one. Imam Ali (a) has said: The Messenger (s) sent me to Yemen and advised me, ‘the one who consults does not regret’. Consultation also allows people to feel like a party to success and take ownership for results, building a team spirit. And at the same time, if the result of a decision is not as desired, a decision taken after consultation will prevent a group or team for putting the blame on a single person. As Imam Ali (a) says: He who acts solely according to his own opinion gets ruined, and he who consults other people shares in their understanding. (Nahjul Balāgha, Saying No.161) Given that consultation has so many benefits, what stops us from doing more of this? Shame, ego and stubbornness are perhaps the biggest barriers to seeking counsel and consultation. We become very attached to our thoughts and desires and simply do not want anyone to tell us that might be a better way. We may feel very pressured to look as if we “have it all together” and see it as a weakness to ask others for guidance. Or we really really want to follow a path and suspect that others whom we trust will give us a different suggestion, we may not want to consult them. Such thinking itself is a huge sign that we need counsel more than ever! At times like this, we may want to remind ourselves that consultation and counsel are a spiritual injunction from Him and it is a Sunnah of the Holy Prophet (saw). Far from showing weakness, it is a sign of courage and maturity to consult with others and seek guidance and help when appropriate. The most difficult part of seeking consultation is the first step. Once we initiate it, though, we experience a huge sense of relief and support. Let us pray that we have the guidance to consult with those who had experience, training or wisdom in dealing with what we may be facing. And that we have the courage to ask for help and support and the wisdom to act upon that advice. /episode/index/show/marziahassan/id/30760828

Have tawakul in Allah [3: 159] 04/10/2024

Have tawakul in Allah [3: 159] Continuing with this verse from Sura Ale Imran: So by mercy from Allah, [O Muhammad], you were lenient with them. And if you had been rude [in speech] and harsh in heart, they would have disbanded from about you. So pardon them and ask forgiveness for them and consult them in [some of] the matter. And when you have decided, then rely upon Allah. Indeed, Allah loves those who rely [upon Him]. (Quran 3:159) The final part of the verse advises the Holy Prophet [saw] that once you have decided on a matter, have tawwakul or trust in Allah and ends by saying that Allah loves those who rely upon Him. Scholars explain that “when you are resolved” or “when you have decided” means that once the step of consultation or decision on his own has been taken, then he should then make his attitude one of trust in God, not in human deliberations In the Quran, tawakkul is used for a state when man exclusively places his hope and trust upon Allah (swt). Scholars explain that a person who has tawakkul takes action and makes an effort to achieve his goals but does not see the result as being from himself. In other words, while someone with tawakkul focuses on the process, on his actions which are within his circle of control, he knows that the outcome and final result of any action is not in his hands but rather in God’s hands. He also believes that since “in His hand is only and all good”, the final result of his effort will be good, even if he cannot see it at the time or even if it does not appear so in the moment. Imam Sadiq (as) said this about tawakkul There are various degrees of trust in God: – That you put your trust of God in all your affairs. – That you are well-pleased with whatever God does to you. – Knowing for certain that He does not cease in His goodness and grace towards you. – And that the command rests entirely with Him. (Al-Kāfī, v. 2, p. 391, H 3). In other words, reliance on Him means to do the very best of our ability, to trust the process, to focus on what is in our control. And then to leave the outcome to Him, recognizing that once you have done your best, it is no longer in your hands. And to have faith that whatever that outcome is, it is best as “He does not cease in His goodness and grace towards you”. Tawakkul, then, is what comes after you have done what you can to help yourself, with the resources that He have given you. It is NOT a passive waiting for Divine Help. For example, the Holy Prophet (saw) was once asked: “O Messenger of Allah! Should I tie my camel and then place trust in Allah, or should I set it free and then put trust in Allah?” The Messenger of Allah replied: Tie it and then place your trust in Allah. (Mīzān al-Hikmah, 10:684). Tawakkul also means to keep doing the right thing, even when things appear to be going wrong. To keep doing the hard thing, even when alternate paths seem easier if they will lead us away from His pleasure. To have tawakkul is to have faith that if we have acted with truth, sincerity, wisdom and according to what is pleasing to Him, the outcome will always be good for us, even if it does not immediately appear to be so. The opposite of tawakkul is to succumb to wrongful action when doing the right thing seems too hard in the moment or when we begin to doubt that doing the right thing will lead us to a good outcome. Or when we do not believe that our actions will amount to anything. Let us remind ourselves at such moments that part of tawakkul in Him is to use what we have at our disposal to make our lives and situations better. And once we have done that, to release our attachment to the outcome [very challenging, this, for some of us!] The verse ends with a reminder that He LOVES those that trust him. Given that Allah (swt) the Most Merciful has the ultimate good for human beings in mind, it makes sense that once we have done our job, He would love those that trust Him to do His job! /episode/index/show/marziahassan/id/30760853

Attend to what is better on Friday [62:9] 04/10/2024

Attend to what is better on Friday [62:9] Today’s reflection is verse 9 from Chapter 62, Sura Juma, when Allah [swt] addresses the believers and says: O you who believe! when the call is made for prayer on Friday, then hasten to the remembrance of Allah and leave off trading; that is better for you, if you know. [62:9] 4 important points are made in this verse: 1. When the call for the Friday congregational prayers is made, rush to attend to it In other words, answer the call and join the congregation as soon as possible. 2. Leave trading and other worldly distractions at this time Trading and business are particularly mentioned as the time for Juma prayers in right in the middle of the work day and these are also the main distractions for those in the marketplace. Of course, it applies to other distractions as well which stop us from joining the congregation on time 3. This is better for you 4. If only you knew Allah is reminding us that human beings are short sighted and are often unaware of the bigger picture or what lies beyond our immediate experience. Here the Creator is telling us that turning to Him in congregation has more benefit to us that what we immediately perceive in the profit of worldly business. The gain that we will get on a transcendent level [immediately and long term] is far greater than the monetary and material benefit of what is occupying our attention for the moment. Due to the evolution of our knowledge about mindfulness, pausing and redirecting our attention to something bigger than us, and doing so as a collective, we can now see through scientific studies how this is true. Scholars tell us that the day of Friday was named al-Jum‘uah when a group of Muslims in Madīna, before the Prophet [saw] migrated there, decided to assign a day of the week to get together and remember Allah (swt) and thank Him. The first congregational prayers were held at Masjid Quba, outside of Madina by the Holy Prophet [saw] when he migrated from Macca. It is interesting that unlike the Christian or Jewish Sabbath, Friday is primarily the Day of Assembly, the weekly meeting of the Congregation, when we show our unity by sharing in common public worship, preceded by a Khutba, in which the Imam (or Leader) reviews the week's life of the Community and offers advice on connection to the Creator and on living a moral life. The Friday congregation, while its primary purpose is worship, is very important in the social structure of Muslims and the interaction of and wellbeing of the Muslim Umma and fits in the gradations of social contact for Muslims with each other in this way: (1) Each individual remembers Allah for himself or herself five or more times every day in the home or place of business, or local mosque, or open air, as the case may be. (2) On Friday every week there is a local meeting in the central mosque of each local centre,-it may be a village, or town, or a big city. (3) At the two Eids every year, there is a large local area meeting in one centre. (4) Once at least in a lifetime, where possible, a Muslim shares in the vast international meeting of the Umma at the pilgrimage of Hajj. By meeting in these expanding concentric circles, the Muslim expands his contact with other believers, find out what ails the Umma and gets introduced to the diversity within the faith. This is, what has been called a “happy combination of decentralisation and centralisation, of individual liberty and collective meeting, and contact at various stages or grades”. While we may be meeting in such small and larger congregations throughout our lives [and more so in the month of Ramadan], we need to remind ourselves that the spirit of such congregations is meant to nurture the spirit of unity, brotherhood, acceptance, mutual consultation, and collective understanding and action. When we take part in the congregation on Fridays, let us take with us this reminder: that the path to God is inseparable from our connection with, and concern for the wellbeing of, the Umma. /episode/index/show/marziahassan/id/30760858

Do what good you can, as soon as you can[23:61] 04/10/2024

Do what good you can, as soon as you can[23:61] Today’s reflection is from Chapter 23, Sura Muminum where the Holy Quran says: "It is they who hasten to every good work and these who are foremost in them." [23:61] In this verse and a couple of verses preceding it, Allah [swt] points out a few qualities of the believers. One of their qualities that they “hasten to do good deeds”. This desire is borne out of a desire to please Allah [swt] and drives them to take quick action towards worthy causes and goals. The word the Quran uses is yusāri‘ūna which signifies “racing” towards good actions. It is interesting that while hurry or haste is not considered a virtue, when the haste is in racing towards goodness and virtuous action, it becomes an act of virtue. Why is haste recommended in doing good works? Imam Bāqir (as) explains: “When you think of doing something good, rush to do it immediately for verily you do not know what could happen later [to prevent you from doing it]” (The Scale of Wisdom, H. 4002). In other words, as we have experienced many a time, despite our good intentions, life will get in the way. Things will come up and other things will vie for our time and attention. What is important but not urgent [in a worldly sense] will be put on the back burner. When we rush towards actions, we are taking action before this happens. Taking action quickly is also an indication of enthusiasm for performing the good deed. Once again, we have all experienced times when we have an initial burst of enthusiasm for doing good, for giving charity, for helping someone, for volunteering for a good cause. When we hear about distress of other humans, our natural empathy and humanness is activated and wants to act to relieve that distress. AND then, our mind begins to second guess ourselves and we have doubts about our initial intention. The doubts can be about our own ability, credibility of the cause, or any number of things. Imam Jaffar Sadiq [as] explains this as a normal human experience. “When one of you intends to do good or join relations then on his right and on his left are shaytāns, so he should hurry so they do not stop him from it” (al-Kāfī, v. 2, p. 143). In other words, we need to remind ourselves it is just Shaytan or our own minds doing their thing and we need to hurry up and take action. The Quran uses the word sābiqūna to denote the ones who are foremost or the leaders in the race towards goodness. Once again, it is interesting how the Quran picks a quality of humans which is generally not liked, that of competitiveness and turns it into a positive quality when it is used in the right way. So while being competitive in worthy causes is recommended, we do need to be careful of a few things: i) The desire to compete towards goodness must be driven with the intention to please God and not to look good. ii) The mindset is to hurry to the pleasure of God and amongst His closest and chosen people and not to put others down. In fact, helping others along the way is one of the ways we can be in the group of the Sabiqun! So let us think of a time when we have had a intention to do something good (give charity, help someone, reach out to someone going through a tough time, visit a loved one) and thought you would do it later but then never got around to it? [By the way, ever heard the phrase: the path to hell is paved with good intentions – that never materialized? OUCH!!] Procrastination is a major human tendency. Our mind leads us to believe that “next week” things will magically work out and we will have the time to do things which are important but not urgent. Research now confirms that the more you delay something, the less likely it is that you will actually do it. Piers Steele, who won the equivalent of the Nobel Prize in psychology for his work on motivation says that "As the deadline for any task gets pushed further into the future, Delay increases and our motivation to tackle the tasks decreases." This means that if you have a goal to do something good in the future, no matter how excited we are in the present, it will be hard to sustain this motivation when the goal is in the future. Plus, life, as they say, will certainly get in the way. In other words, the sooner you take action on something, the higher the levels of motivation and the more likely that you will actually do it. So how about hastening towards good and taking action on those good intentions? Like . . .now! Let us end with the wisdom of Imam Ali [as] from Nahjul Balagha: May Allah have mercy on you. You should hasten towards (the preparation of) houses which you have been commanded to populate, and towards which you have been called and invited. Seek the completion of Allah’s favors on you by exercising endurance in His obedience and abstention from His disobedience, because tomorrow is close to today. How fast are the hours of the day, how fast are the days in the month, how fast are the months in the years and how fast the years in a life (Nahjul Balāgha, Sermon 188). /episode/index/show/marziahassan/id/30760873

275 Harkat mein barket [53:39] 04/10/2024

275 Harkat mein barket [53:39] In Verse 39 of Sura Najm, Allah says: And that man shall have nothing but what he strives for. (Holy Quran 53:39) For today’s verse, I could not find a better title than the Urdu phrase: Harkat mein barkat, meaning there is blessing in movement/striving. One of the principles of life, taught by experience and by Divinity, is that human beings get what they strive towards. It is important to note that what the Quran is telling us is that our outcome will be in accordance with our striving. The Arabic word sa’ā which is used literally means to walk fast, to run almost, to walk with effort. It is used to denote hard work and effort as this means moving ahead fast on the path. It is interesting to note that it does not say that man will have nothing but in accordance to his actions, rather in accordance to the efforts behind his actions. What this means is that it the intention and effort behind the action that counts. This is quite different to our experience in the material world. Here we are told that winning is everything and that being second best does not count. If we are working towards a goal or project, an admission to a university, a interview for a job, we either get it or not. It does not matter how much effort we put in if someone else beats us to it. However, in our relationship with God, winning and the outcome does not matter as much as the effort and the intention with which any action is undertaken. Allah [swt] appreciates all the effort that we put in, regardless of how far we get or how close we come to our goal. The outcome, of course, is never really in our control in the first place. We can work really hard at something and still not get the outcome we hoped for or worked towards. Or on the other hand, much can be handed to us through no effort on our part, just because we happen to win at the genetic or privilege lottery. This verse reminds us that with Allah [swt] things are much more equitable and just. That all our striving towards worthy goals still counts. That even if we do not see the results of our striving, the striving still counts in terms of spiritual progress. So let us set our intentions straight and put wise effort into things that really matter. Things that will count towards eventual success. Let us make sure that the “ladder of our success is leaning against the right wall” [with a nod to Stephen Covey!] /episode/index/show/marziahassan/id/30760888

A truth about life [90:4] 04/10/2024

A truth about life [90:4] Today’s reflection is from Sura Balad where Allah [swt] says: Certainly We have created man to be in distress. [90:4] In this verse, Allah [swt] uses the word kabad for distress. Scholars explain that the word kabad which originally means intensity, also signifies 'a disease in the liver of a person’ and is used for any trouble and misery. This verse spells out a truth about the human experience during this plane of existence: from the time the human embryo is conceived it will go through difficult stages with pain and toil until the time it is born, and even from then on; during his childhood, the period of his adolescence, and through his mature and senior years, he is and will be faced with many kinds of challenges, stresses and distresses. The problem, though is that even though Allah [swt] has explained this to us in the Quran, we human beings expect something different. We LOVE comfort and luxury and are deeply attached to the idea of a life of stability and ease. We feel entitled to such a trouble-free existence, even when we have no proof that it is possible. Even when we may recognize that moments of such comfort and ease move us further away from spirituality and recognizing the purpose for which we are here. And so, when we are experiencing challenges and distresses, instead of reminding ourselves that this is, quite simply, the nature of this world, we tell ourselves that “something has gone wrong” and that “it is not meant to be this way” and a number of such things which actively resist the acceptance of this truth. And then, of course, we look at others. We see the edited versions of their lives which are apparent to us in real life or in the virtual arena. And then we compare our distresses and challenges to the snippets of their apparently-distress-free life, to the abundance of peace and joy that we think they are enjoying, and we think that somehow they have managed to escape this reality. I really love how Phil Stutz explains this truth in a hard-hitting way in his great book: Lessons for Living: What Only Adversity Can Teach You. . Phil starts his book by telling us: "Our culture denies the nature of reality. It holds out a promise that you can live in an ideal world where things come easily, a world in which unpleasant experiences can be avoided, where there is never a lack of immediate gratification. Worse, it suggests that if you do not live in this world, something is wrong with you. This ideal world is a realm of illusion. No matter how promising this world seems, it does not exist." He continues by saying: "Be honest. Your own life experiences have been far from ideal. But what you have experienced is what is reality, not what you would like to experience. In short, the nature of reality is this: 1. "Life includes pain and adversity." 2. "The future is uncertain." 3. "Accomplishment of any kind requires discipline." 4. "You are not special. No matter what you did, you cannot avoid these aspects of life." 5. "This will never change." In short: Life is hard. [or as the Quran puts it, we are created to be in distress] Denying and resisting this simple fact of existence and telling yourself the story that life “shouldn’t” be hard is, arguably, THE greatest obstacle to your enjoyment of life. When we quit arguing with reality and stop thinking something must be wrong with us because we’re experiencing life’s inevitable challenges, we can change our relationship to all the pain and uncertainty and hard work inherent to a meaningful life. In other words, when we stop resisting the truth that God has spelled out for us, we can fundamentally and permanently change our lives. Of course this does NOT mean that there is no joy or happiness or even moments of bliss on this earth. It does mean, as Stutz reminds us: “There is love, joy, surprise, transcendence, and creativity as well, but these never occur separately from the above five points." In other words, once we accept that life is hard, that we “are created in distress”, we can stop spending all our energy on resisting the reality of our circumstances and carve out a meaningful, and yes even happy, life for ourselves. We can learn to make peace with an imperfect life and focus on making the best of an imperfect life. /episode/index/show/marziahassan/id/30760898

You have what it takes [2:286] 04/10/2024

You have what it takes [2:286] Yesterday we reflected on a truth about this life from the Quran: that life is full of challenges. Today, let us look at a promise of Allah [swt] that gives us confidence that we have what it takes to succeed in these challenges and find our way through these distresses. At the end of Chapter 2, Sura Al-Baqara the Quran tells us: Allah does not task any soul [impose a duty on, place a burden on] beyond its capacity. [2:286] This brief selection from a longer verse suggests many important points of reflection: The word Quran uses for soul is “Nafs”, the struggling part of ourself. The part that struggles to be better and yearns to actualize. In order not to burden us beyond our capacity or capability, He knows what that capacity is. So many times when we are facing challenges, they seem insurmountable and we feel completely overwhelmed and inadequate to deal with them. At times like these, it is important to remind ourselves of this verse. Even if we are unsure of our own potential, He is in His infinite knowledge and wisdom knows what our capacity is. We need to understand of course, that human capacity is not a static thing. That we grow by stretching ourselves. We experience this in all sorts of ways in the daily course of life in any case. When we go the gym, we do not lift Styrofoam weights that we can swing easily. We lift weights beyond what we think we can lift, thereby stretching our perceived capacity. And in hindsight after going through a period of stress or challenge, we may look back with surprise and wonder at our own abilities to handle the situation. We realise that even though we may have thought we would DIE in the challenge, we actually didn’t! Now, without Divine intervention, given that we prefer a life of comfort and ease [even though this is not ultimately good for us, nor why we are created], human beings would very likely pass away “full of potential”. His expectation from believers, however, is that they will live on the outer edges of their potential and fully realise and actualize it – not die with it. And so we are given trials and distresses according to the measure of our ability and resources to actualize this potential. When we go through and come out on the other side of such bespoke challenges, we are changed forever. There is no going back to “before”. We may have heard of the term “resilience” as the ability to “bounce back” after a set back. Let us deepen our understanding of our options in dealing with challenges. Psychologists explain that people can react in three different ways to challenges and setbacks: we can be fragile and break easily. Or we can be resilient and withstand more stress before breaking down (and then bouncing back a little quicker than most). OR… we can be the OPPOSITE of fragile. Which means, the more challenge we face, the STRONGER we get. This is what Nasem Taleb calls being “Antifragile” in his book of the same name. Taleb gives us a great metaphor to bring the point home. Imagine the wind. It’s a strong wind. It is wind that will extinguish a candle. But it is the same strong wind that will fuel a fire and make it stronger. In terms of this verse, Allah knows that we have the potential to be that fire and the challenges of life are meant to fuel this fire to bring it to its full blazing potential. Our faith in Allah’s knowledge of our ability [beyond our recognition] can give us unshakeable confidence that we have what it takes. Let us do a little teaching on confidence. Etymologically, the word confidence comes from two little Latin words: con and fidere. The word literally means "with intense trust." This is Intense trust in what? Not that everything will go perfectly. That is unrealistic of course and not in line with what we have been reflecting on. It is intense trust in Allah’s promise that it doesn’t matter what happens because we know we have the resources and the ability to handle these challenges. How do we know this? Because these challenges have shown up in our lives and because He has promised us that He will not place a burden upon us beyond what we are capable of. Does this make sense? How will we think, feel and act differently the next time life throws us a curve ball? /episode/index/show/marziahassan/id/30760903

As We Say Goodbye . . . 04/10/2024

As We Say Goodbye . . . As We Wrap Up The Blessed Month Of Ramadan, We May Be Feeling A Mix Of Emotions: A Tinge Of Sadness At The Ending Of The Month Of Blessings, Mercy And Forgiveness, A Sense Of Relief That We Were Able To Fast And Pray [And That We Can Eat Again!] And Maybe Some Regret That We Did Not Or Could Not Do More During The Blessed Minutes And Hours Of This Sacred Month Of Allah [Swt] When We Were His Guests. Many of us have been deeply impacted by the news from Palestine and our sense of helplessness to stop the atrocities. Please let us remind ourselves that we have the huge weapon of Dua at our disposal. And though the month of Ramadan may be coming to an end and our eyes may not water quite so much at every Sahoor and Iftar, thinking of our brothers and sisters starving while we are blessed with an abundance of food and drink at our tables, we cannot and must not forget that we have an ongoing duty to do what little we can which includes turning to Him in prayer to ease their plight and to grant them peace and freedom Ameen. No matter what level of closeness and spirituality we attained during this month, we may be wondering of how to make it stay with us a little bit longer. For many of us, this is the only time in the year when we change the focus of our attention from worldly matters and at least cast a glance at matters of the spirit. During the rest of the year, although we may profess love and belief in Allah, we may think of Him or call on Him only in times of distress and rarely find time to turn to Him in extra prayer or gratitude. During this awesome month, however, we have tasted of the Divine Banquet of Mercy, we have developed some good habits and feel a bit forlorn that we will lose this sense of spirituality again until next year. As we approach Eid, it is a good idea to reflect on some tiny steps that we can take to maintain the spirit of Ramadan alive so that the spiritual gains that we have achieved are not lost. So that we may start next Ramadan inshallah at a slightly higher plane of spirituality than we did this year. Just as gains in health are only maintained if one continues with some good habits after time at a health spa, the spiritual gains achieved during this Spiritual Spa time can be maintained with some simple baby steps. Here are some actions that we took during this month which helped us nurture our spiritual bond to Him, and some ways that we can continue these practices: 1. Establishing Salaat Ramadan is a time when we are most conscious of Salaat and its’ timings, especially the fajr and maghrib prayer. Regular and timely prayer is the most basic and vital way to maintain our connection to Him. Salaat is designed by the Almighty to be an intentional and consistent detachment from the world and an invitation to turn inwards, to connect to the Source at regular intervals to fuel our spirit. We are invited in the Quran to establish Salaat, not just to pray the occasional Salaat. This means that this act of worship has to be a pillar of our life, a structure of our existence. Baby steps: Make a commitment to start praying at least one Salaat exactly on time, every day. “Adorn” the Salaat by adding recommended actions to the basic prayer. Start with something small and do it consistently before adding the next piece. 2. Reading the Quran To succeed in any area of life, the first step is knowledge about the rules that govern that area. We do not expect to excel at academics or in the workplace without reading the texts that govern the particular field. Similarly we cannot expect to succeed in this world, get to know the system of cause and effect, to know ourselves or figure out how to achieve ultimate success in the hereafter without looking at the manual gifted to us by the Creator of the system. Although we may have spent much time in recitation during the month of Ramadan, an ongoing relationship with the Quran necessitates understanding, contemplation and action. Only with understanding and reflection can we use the wisdom in of the Book to improve our life here and beyond. Baby steps: Read and reflect on one ayat of the Quran every day. Once again, it is important to start small so that it is sustainable in the long term. One verse a day means that we will have read and understood 365 verses at this time next year. Small steps add up. When reading a verse which calls to action, make a note of how you could respond through action. If you acted on this verse, what would you be doing differently? Please join our community of Quran study where we do exactly this. If you are getting this newsletter, you are already a part of it. If you would like someone else to join, please send them this link. 3. Giving generously Many of us plan our yearly giving, Sadaqa, Khums and Zakat, during the month of Ramadan. We actively seek out those that are needy and reach out to them with giving in cash and in kind. We experience the deep sense of gratitude, humility and sense of satisfaction that comes from reaching out and helping fellow human beings. It reminds us of the human connection that we share, of our responsibility to the whole and of the necessity of enabling the flow of wealth rather than the hoarding of it. Throughout the Quran, the acting of giving Zakat (literally means to purify wealth through giving) comes hand in hand with establishing prayer. Allah swt constantly reminds us that our relationship to Him through prayer is complemented by our relationship to humanity through giving. Baby steps: Be aware of need all around you. When the urge to giving strikes, do not second guess it or talk yourself out of it. Take action to meet the need in whatever way you can. Start a small but regular contribution to a cause. By automating it, it ensures that it will happen even if you forget or feel strapped for resources. 4. Dua One of the most special things about Ramadan are the moments of connection to Him through Dua or supplication. The process of turning to Him and asking from Him enriches us beyond measure and gives us spiritual strength. Whereas sharia applies to our outward actions and its job is to regulate human action in order to create the basis of social justice, dua is the training the heart to love the Creator, to experience His love and to understand that the more you love Him, and have a personal relationship with Him, the more you understand that the laws of sharia are to help you reach your full potential. The duas that we have been reciting during this month all emphasize the personal quality of Allah’s relationship with us and His all-encompassing love. Dua is therefore a vital practice to cultivate spirituality and nurture our connection to Him. Baby steps: Look through a compilation of dua such as the Sahifa Sajjadiya or the Duas of Imam Ali (as). Pick one that calls to you. Pick a longer Dua and spend a few minutes after Salaat reading and reflecting on a few verses of it at a time. Feel free to make notes of your reflections or to mark passages that speak to you at this time. Endeavour to use those passages to communicate with Him at various times of the day. 5. Maintaining Family Relationships The month of Ramadan finds many of us trying to reach out to family, by an invitation for iftar or sending food and gifts. As the nights of Qadr approach, we are reminded about making amends with those members of our family whom we have issues with. Through prayer and supplication, our hearts become soft, through closeness to Him, we begin to recognize the big picture and may be more amenable to forgive and overlook the small grievances that we may have been holding. While reflecting on the Quran, we are reminded to pardon people, to manage our anger, to repel evil with good and to maintain relationships with our blood relations. We begin to recognize, once again, that He is happy with us if are human connections are in order. Baby steps: Regularly reach out to long forgotten family members through a phone call, email or text. Consider inviting family to share meals with you, even if the house is a mess and even if your cooking is not perfect! You will reap the rewards in increased love and attachment. Let us pray to Allah swt to help us to continue the good deeds that we may have started during this month and to continue staying away from that which displeases Him. Let us wrap up with an extract from Imam Sajjad as 's Supplication in Bidding Farewell to the Month of Ramadan (Supplication 45) O God, with the passing of this month make us pass forth from our offenses, with its departure make us depart from our evil deeds, and appoint us thereby among its most felicitous people, the most plentiful of them in portion, and the fullest of them in share! O God, when any person observes this month as it should be observed, safeguards its inviolability as it should be safeguarded, attends to its bounds as they should be attended to, fears its misdeeds as they should be feared, or seeks nearness to You with any act of nearness-seeking which makes incumbent upon him Your good pleasure and bends toward him Your mercy, give to us the like [of that] from Your wealth and bestow it upon us in multiples through Your bounty, for Your bounty does not diminish, Your treasuries do not decrease but overflow, the mines of Your beneficence are not exhausted, and Your giving is the bestowal full of delight! Ameen Thank you for joining me on this small effort to reflect on His word and do what we can to live the Quran in our modern lives. Much gratitude and appreciation for your warmth and support and kind messages which fuel me and keep me going. Please accept a warm Eid Mubarak from myself and my family to you and your loved ones. May our deeds be accepted, may we counted amongst His friends and may we all be gathered together under His Protection and Mercy always. Ameen. /episode/index/show/marziahassan/id/30760913

Pray for future generations [25:74] 04/10/2024

Pray for future generations [25:74] And they who say, “Our Lord! Grant us in our spouses and our offspring the joy [comfort, coolness, delight] of our eyes and make us imams [leaders] for the God-conscious” [25:74] The last quality mentioned of the Ibad ur Rahman is that they have a fervent prayer consisting of two parts: Firstly for Allah [swt] to grant them delight in their closest relationships of marriage and children and secondly to make them leaders amongst the God-conscious people. This is such a beautiful supplication that we can all commit to memory! The word that the Quran uses “Qurrata ayun” is challenging to translate into English. One explanation is that these are “tears of joy” or deep delight in your spouses and progeny. Scholars explain that “coolness of the eyes” is understood to be of a spiritual nature, not mere worldly enjoyment of children and spouses [which in itself is a beautiful gift]. In other words, seeing your children following your values and the path that you have taught them. What the Ibad ur Rahman are praying for essentially, is that their families will join them in worship and obedience to God. This “coolness of the eyes” will come to fruition and be perfected when they join their families in the Garden in the Hereafter. It also means that the Ibad ur Rahman experience joy in seeing their worship God and perform acts of obedience. And this is asked as a “hablana”, from hiba which means a gift that you didn't expect. Ya Allah, they pray, give us the unexpected and undeserved gift. This part of the dua is a reminder that while we can do the process and make the effort to role model, teach and inspire our children and our families towards God, the outcome is not guaranteed and if our efforts bear fruit, this is a gift from Him. The second part of the prayer of becoming the “Imams of the God-conscious” also has many layers of meaning: It may mean that the Ibad ur Rahman desire to achieve a level of devotion that will become a standard for others. Fakrudin Razi for example, cites the words of Nabi Abraham [as] in 26:84, “And make for me faithful renown among later generations”, and notes a desire to be exalted in matters of religion can be a positive thing, since such leadership or renown comes through both true knowledge and righteous action. Secondly, since parents are Imams or leaders of their flock, their family, a prayer to become Imams or leaders of the righteous implies that their family is counted among the muttaqqin or God-conscious. Thirdly, such a prayer shows our desire to leave a legacy that maintains faith and practice in the future generations. This is such an important consideration for us. Many of us see that even if parents practice, children may choose a different path for themselves and that faith and practice may be “watered down” over the generations [they can also be revived and strengthened of course, though it is more common to see it devolve]. The prayer of the Ibad ur Rahman is that this does not happen and that faith and practice are firm in future generations. Being leaders in this context also means another thing: when we are praying for such a family, that we make the effort to back up the prayer. That we work to have the kind of relationship with our families that would make the home a safe haven and where “delight of the eyes” can happen. It also means that we inspire faith and practice through relationship and role modelling and back that up with fervent prayer that our efforts bear fruit inshallah. /episode/index/show/marziahassan/id/30760703

The reward for perseverance [25:75] 04/10/2024

The reward for perseverance [25:75] The verses we have been considering the last few days lay out the qualities of His special servants or the Ibad ur Rahman, some of which are the following: They are those who: Are humble in their demeanour [25:63] Do not engage with the ignorant [25:63] Worship at night [25:64] Seek forgiveness continuously [25:65] Avoid falsehood and vanity [25:72] Attend to His communication [27:73] Adopt balance in your spending [25:67] Pray for family and future generations [25:74] Verse 76 of Sura Furqan goes on to say: It is they who shall be rewarded with the lofty abode for having been patient/constant, and they will be met therein with salutations and [greetings of] peace. People such as this whose knowledge, speech, thought, power, and writing all function for guiding people to the path of the Truth are paragons and examples of the humane society. They are counted as examples for pious persons. They are like guiding lights and lamps in deserts and seas, which call those who are lost to them and save them from falling down and sinking. In many narrations we read that this verse is about Imam Ali (as) and family of the Prophet (S) and Imams (as). Imam Sadiq (as) said: “The purpose of this verse is us.” (Nūr uth-Thaqalayn, following the verse) Without doubt, the beloveds of The Merciful are the most prominent examples of Ibad ur Rahman and of course this does not limit the concept of the verse nor does it negate the idea that that pious believers can be imams and leaders of others in various degrees, starting within their primary sphere of influence, which is the home. Because these people are so elevated, their recompense is also elevation, in Heaven, where they will be received in a “lofty abode” with greetings, to an eternal life in peace. While these verses serve as a checklist of what we can aspire to, we can also remind ourselves that the key is constantly and perseverance. While we may exhibit some of these qualities some of the time [during Ramadan for example], the Ibad ur Rahman are embodiments of these virtues on a constant basis and that is what we pray to aspire to inshallah. /episode/index/show/marziahassan/id/30760723

Be a force for good [5:2] 04/10/2024

Be a force for good [5:2] Sura Maidah verse two says: O, You who believe . . . help one another in goodness and piety. [5:2] Cooperating with others in goodness is one of the basic principles for a society build on spiritual and ethical values. When people of faith work together, they motivate and provide encouragement and enthusiasm for each other. The energies of the universe synchronize to further a cause which is thus initiated. Why? 1. The law of synergy: All of us have different and complementary talents. When we cooperate and work together as a team, we create synergy, which is an interaction of multiple elements to produce a result greater than the sum of their individual effects. To put it simply, when two people combine different talents to cooperate on a worthy project, their efforts produce the equivalent not of four people but rather the work of twenty two or more. This is simply the scientific law of synergy which is apparent in the world of nature [such as the flight of geese]. Every act of goodness, no matter how small, contributes to creating positive change in the world. Whether it's advocating for social justice, protecting the environment, or uplifting marginalized groups, cooperating with others in pursuing common goals adds up and amplifies and compounds the impact of our efforts. 2. When believers cooperate in goodness, they also attract the help and blessings of Allah [swt]. The Holy Prophet [saw] has said: People will continue to be blessed so long as they invite each towards good, discourage each other from evil, and cooperate in goodness and piety. (Tahdhībul AHkām, 6:181) 3. Being part of a group is fulfilling and validating to the human spirit. We are encouraged and inspired when we see people working towards something positive and we are motivated to put in a little bit more effort ourselves. Working towards worthy goals strengthens the bonds within communities. When people come together to support each other, whether it's through volunteering, charity work, or simply offering a helping hand, it builds trust, solidarity and a sense of belonging and a supportive network. By cooperating with each other in acts of goodness, we can inspire a culture of empathy, compassion, and altruism that spreads far beyond our immediate circles. How: Sometimes we want to go it alone, either because we find it difficult to work with others, or because we want the limelight of good actions on ourself. Or we may have become habituated to become critical of what others are doing. At times like this, let us remind ourselves of this verse. Here are just some ways we help each other towards piety and goodness: By collaborating on Community Projects: Working together on community projects such as clean-up initiatives, food drives, or educational programs allows us to combine resources and expertise for maximum impact. Supporting Each Other's Initiatives: By lending support to each other's charitable endeavors, volunteering efforts, or advocacy campaigns, through money, effort or simply sharing with others, we amplify the reach and effectiveness of our actions. Sharing Skills and Resources: Sharing skills, knowledge, and resources such as professional expertise, providing financial support, or sharing relevant information, collaboration enhances our collective ability to enact positive change. Building Alliances with Like-minded Groups: Forming alliances with like-minded individuals and organizations allows us to pool our strengths and work towards common goals. By joining forces, we can tackle larger-scale issues and advocate for systemic change. Promoting a Culture of Cooperation and Solidarity: Encouraging cooperation and solidarity within our communities fosters a culture where individuals are motivated to support each other in acts of goodness. By promoting empathy, understanding, and inclusivity, we create an environment where cooperation thrives, and collective action becomes commonplace So let us 1. Look around and see what good is already happening. Let us ask ourselves how we can help. What skills, talents and resources do we have that might be of use here? And then reach out and ask how we can support these initiatives from those that are on the ground doing the work. 2. Offer our skills, resources and connections to others who may be struggling to get a project started or funded. 3. Share our ideas with others and request help and support in starting projects of our own. There is something uniquely satisfying in cooperating in good actions and becoming part of a force for goodness. /episode/index/show/marziahassan/id/30760743

Attend to His communication [25:73] 04/04/2024

Attend to His communication [25:73] Continuing with painting a portrait of the Ibrad ur Rahman, verse 73 of Chapter 25, Sura Furqan points to another characteristic of these sincere believers: [25:73] and they who, when they are reminded of the signs of their Lord, fall not deaf and blind against them Scholars explain that the “falling deaf and blind” refers to the act of falling down, to snore, to droop down as if the person were bored or inattentive, or did not wish to see or hear or pay attention. In other words, it is ignoring or being inattentive to the message being conveyed. The Quran mentions spiritual deafness and blindness in other places and reminds us that we can have eyes and ears but still be deaf and blind. Truly God-conscious are those who are deeply desirous of understanding the message, and therefore "listen to it with wide-awake ears and look into it with seeing eyes". Because they are connected to the All Compassionate and trust that all instructions of come from Him are for their ultimate benefit, they are eager to hear any truth or message or see any sign from Allah [swt] because they know it will helps them to reach their goal . They act, not out of some superstitious beliefs or on a superficial level but from a firm conviction that this is what is right, what is most beneficial. They don’t ignore or just perform the ritual of hearing or seeing Allah [swt]’s verses. Instead, through their ears and their eyes they gain insights which are deep and profound. This is why they are able to see beyond the immediate and remain steadfast in going towards the goal. They are fully awake, mindful and aware, and so whatever they receive by way of guidance is absorbed and implemented. As many of us are attending more closely to the Quran during this month, let us ask ourselves if there are commands or instructions that we have been resisting or avoiding. Can we relook at some of these and see how we can take baby steps to implement these in our lives? /episode/index/show/marziahassan/id/30671548

Be servants of the Merciful [25:63] 04/03/2024

Be servants of the Merciful [25:63] Today’s reflection is from Sura Furqan and over the next few days, we will look at selections from verses 63-76 in Chapter 25 Sura Furqan, where the Quran talks about the qualities of Ibad ur Rahman or the Servants of the Most Merciful. The verse reads: The servants of the Compassionate are those who walk humbly upon the earth, and when the ignorant address them, say, “Peace.” The word “ibad” which is usually translated as “servants” or “slaves” means so much more than that. An Abd is in essence, one who is so aligned to the wishes of the Master that he has no wish or no self of his own. From head to toe, he is enslaved to the wishes of the one whom he serves. And whom does he serve: The Rahman or the Most Compassionate and most merciful. It is interesting to note that previously in this Sura, when the disbelievers had been told to submit to the Rahman, they mocked the Holy Prophet [saw] by asking “What is the Ar Rahman?”. In these verses, it is almost as if Allah [swt] is taking pride in introducing Himself through identifying what characteristics are held by those who are His ibaad. The implication is that when His servants are so dignified and lofty, the magnificence of Allah [swt] the Beneficent, will be understood better. The word that Allah [swt] uses in this verse for Himself is not Allah or not any of His other beautiful names. He is specifically identifying Himself as the Most Merciful, the Compassionate. And so, if we are to be the ibaad of the Rahman, of the Most Compassionate, then in the first instance, we have to reflect this quality of Rahma, compassion within ourselves. The verse goes on to identify two qualities that these special ibaad have: the first one being that they walk humbly upon the earth. [we will cover the second one tomorrow inshallah] To walk humbly is interpreted by scholars to mean with dignity, tranquility, and forbearance and refers not only to walking, but also to the general conduct of one’s life. Humility begins as an internal attitude and then shows in outward behaviour such as how we walk and talk. Scholars point out that the fact that humility is the first characteristic mentioned tells us that just as arrogance is considered the mother of all evil, humility is the door from which all goodness and spiritual elevation can be accessed. Scholars also explain that humility and its application in our lives can be understood in two ways: General humility and specific humility. General humility refers to our overall conduct. It is a quality that should be embedded in our souls which subsequently exemplifies itself in all aspects of our life, especially our relationship with Allah (swt). Such humility is best nurtured by continuously recognizing our complete dependence upon Allah [swt] and His self-sufficiency. The fact that every single thing we have been granted is a gift, a gift that is fragile and the realization that we cannot control the continuation of it helps in recognizing how completely dependent we are on Him and this creates an ongoing sense of humility. Specific humility is refers to how our internal humility expresses itself in outward action and in this verse the act of walking is particularly mentioned. The way we move through life, how we hold ourselves up and how we walk, the mark we leave on the earth, all speak to our internal level of humility. Another verse of the Quran advises something very similar: Do not walk exultantly on the earth. Indeed, you will neither pierce the earth, nor reach the mountains in height (Holy Quran 17:37). In order to implement this verse and the quality of humility in our attitude and our actions, let us become mindful of the message our body language is sending. Are we strutting about, do we have an attitude of entitlement that shows up in how we treat others and the resources of the earth? Let us also reflect on these two prophetic narrations: “Humilty and modesty increases the rank and dignity of one who is humble, then be humble so that Allah exalts you.”. In other words, Allah raises the ranks of those who are humble. “The fruit of knowledge is humility.” (Imam Ali (as). Meaning that true knowledge [both acquired from outside and from within] shows up as humility not arrogance. For those of us who struggle with pride and arrogance, here are some recommendations to foster humility within ourselves: 1. Reflection on the Attributes of Allah: Reflecting on the greatness, mercy, and infinite wisdom of Allah can naturally evoke humility within oneself. Recognizing one's own limitations in comparison to the vastness of Allah's creation can help foster humility. 2. Gratitude and Remembrance: Engage in frequent remembrance of Allah (dhikr) and express gratitude for His blessings. Acknowledging that all blessings come from Allah fosters humility by reminding oneself of dependence on Him. 3. Self-Reflection and Repentance: Regularly reflect on one's actions, intentions, and shortcomings. Seek forgiveness from Allah for past mistakes and resolve to improve oneself. Genuine repentance requires humility to acknowledge one's faults. 4. Serving Others: Engage in acts of service and charity for the benefit of others without seeking recognition or reward. Serving others humbly reminds us of our shared humanity and dependence on each other. 5. Associating with the Humble: Surround yourself with people who embody humility and modesty. Their example and company can inspire and reinforce humble attitudes and behaviors. 6. Reminding oneself about the source of all blessings: Remind yourself of the transient nature of worldly achievements and possessions, and strive to remain humble in success as well as adversity. 7. Regular Self-Assessment: Regularly evaluate your thoughts, words, and actions to ensure they align with Islamic teachings and values. Humility involves constant vigilance against the ego's tendencies towards arrogance and self-centeredness. /episode/index/show/marziahassan/id/30671418

Do not engage with the ignorant [25:63] 04/03/2024

Do not engage with the ignorant [25:63] Yesterday we started discussing the qualities of the Ibad ur Rahman [servants of the Most Compassionate] from Chapter 25, Sura Furqan. We said that we need to reflect the quality of compassion within ourselves and then we discussed the first quality from verse 63: the quality of humility. Today, let us look at verse 63 again and explore the second quality of Ibad ur Rahman which reads: The servants of the Compassionate are those who walk humbly upon the earth, and when the ignorant address them, say, “Peace.” The second characteristic of these special servants of the Most Merciful is that when confronted with prideful ignorance, foolishness, aggression, pointless arguments or badgering, they do not engage with such behaviour and simply say: Peace. When people are addressing them with the aim to ridicule them or bait them into arguing, they maintain their emotional balance and do not accept the bait. We recognize the word “Salaam” as the Muslim greeting of “May peace be upon you”. This use of the word is different. Scholars explain that the word Salaam here is to command one to have an attitude of restraint and forbearance and use it to signal a refusal to engage. It is to say farewell to their senseless words. This ‘peace’ is not a greeting which is the sign of kindness and friendship. This is the ‘peace’ that is the sign of patience and the outcome of humility. It is important to point out that the use of the word “peace” is not suitable in all interchanges where there is a difference of opinion or debate. As we have been discussing earlier this month, we have guidance on how to discuss and debate with people when there is a difference of belief or opinion. In order to fulfill the aims of dialogue and communication, we do need to discern between constructive dialogue and futile conflict. While the servants of the Compassionate are enjoined to share knowledge with sincerity and humility, they are also advised to exercise discretion in their interactions. This discretion entails recognizing when engagement serves a meaningful purpose and when it merely perpetuates discord. In situations where dialogue devolves into argumentation for the sake of argumentation – devoid of genuine inquiry or mutual understanding – the refusal to engage becomes an act of self-preservation and boundary-setting. By declining to participate in fruitless debates, individuals exemplify humility by prioritizing inner peace over the ego-driven but short-lived gratification of proving oneself right. Recognizing when a discussion is about to devolve thus requires us to be grounded in introspection, restraint, and wisdom. We need to recognize our own triggers – those internal mechanisms that predispose us towards reactive behavior. By consciously acknowledging these triggers, we can pre-emptively pause and remind ourselves that we can take a moment or more to regain emotional equilibrium before responding. A beautiful example of such a situation is found in the conduct of Imam Zain al-Abidin [as], who, when subjected to unwarranted insults and abuses, responded with “If what you say is true, may Allah forgive me; and if you are lying, then Allah may forgive you.” This short exchange teaches us that stopping an argument with “Salam/Peace” can take a sentence or two. Reminding ourselves of, and acting on, this verse is vital in today’s divisive climate. Social media platforms serve as battlegrounds for ideological clashes, particularly in the realm of politics. Individuals often find themselves embroiled in heated debates, where differing opinions give rise to animosity and division. Amidst the cacophony of voices clamoring for validation and supremacy, responding with peace becomes a radical act of humility and even resistance. Saying Salaam in a situation like this is NOT giving in or acceptance of the opinion. It is a signal that one is refusing to respond to baseless insults and groundless arguments. It is a sign that while we are open to discussions based on fact and reason, we will not compromise our dignity by engaging in exchanges which are geared towards mockery, insults and abuse rather than understanding. To summarize, every conflict that is unproductive or turns ugly presents us with a choice. We can protect our dignity, our relationships and our energy by refusing to engage by simply saying Salaam thereby signalling the end of our involvement. Or we can continue to engage in unproductive discourse, driven by our need to be right. Which will we chose the next time we find ourselves in such a situation? /episode/index/show/marziahassan/id/30671463

Worship at night [25:64] 04/03/2024

Worship at night [25:64] Continuing with our series of drawing a portrait of the Ibad ur Rahman [the Servants of the All Compassionate], verse 64 of Chapter 25, Sura Furqan says: And they who pass the night prostrating themselves before their Lord and standing. [25:64] So the third quality mentioned of the Ibad ur Rahman is that In the pursuit of spiritual elevation and perfection of servitude to the All Compassionate they are drawn to the tranquility of the night, seeking solace in the worship of their Creator. The act of waking in the depths of the night, when the world is cloaked in darkness and asleep, while worldly distractions fade away, is a testament to their sincerity. It's a time devoid of pretense, where believers immerse themselves in heartfelt supplication and connection with the Divine. The Ibad ur Rahman deprive themselves of pleasant sleep at this time and turn to what is of greater value. They understand the significance of these moments, drawing energy and peace from their intimate communion with Allah. The significance of the late-night prayer, or Salat al-Layl, resonates throughout the Quran and Prophetic narrations [hadith]. It is described as a means of acquiring inner strength and of seeking forgiveness. The Holy Prophet Muhammad [saw] made it a regular part of his nightly rituals. Scholars explain that the Late-Night Prayer, or the Salāt al-Layl/Namāz-i Shab/Tahajjud prayer, has a tremendous influence on the spirit. As we may have experienced, taking time out for prayers in the middle of the day is challenging as so many thoughts and affairs occupy our mind. The world is still spinning and many things vie for our attention. While we continue to pray of course, we may find it challenging to have that peace of heart and stillness so necessary for strong connection during salaat. But at night the demands of the material world are quiet for a while and we can focus on attuning ourselves with the Creator. This is why those who are serious about spirituality make the most of the last part of the night. They turn to God while the world sleeps, thereby enlivening their hearts, strengthening their will, and perfecting their sincerity through worship at this special time. Of course, this effort is richly rewarded by the All Generous. In one narration, the Holy Prophet [saw] explains: Verily when a servant withdraws to be alone with his Master in the middle of the dark night and intimately converses with Him, Allah places divine light into his heart…then He, Exalted be His Splendor, says to His angels, ‘O My angels, look at My servant how he seeks solitude to be with Me in the middle of the dark night while the worthless ones remain heedless and the negligent ones sleep. Witness that verily I have forgiven him (Āmālī of al-Sadūq, p. 230, h.9). In another narration, Imam Jaffar Sadiq [as] suggests that the impact of the night prayer spreads across our homes and surroundings as well: “Verily the homes in which night prayer is performed its light illuminates before the inhabitants of the heaven as stars glow for the people of the earth.” (Bihār ul-‘Anwār, Vol. 87, P. 161) In another narration, the Holy Prophet [saw] said: Three things bring happiness to the heart of a believer: a) Meeting brethren in faith b) Breaking the fast c) Waking up in the later part of the night [for Salatul Layl]. We are blessed that in the month of Ramadan, we have the opportunity to taste all these joys. If we are struggling to make Salaatul Layl into a regular habit, this month is the perfect opportunity to build this habit. Scholars explain that if we are not able or ready to make the entire 11 units of prayer into a habit, we can wake up just a little bit earlier for fajr and pray the last three units on a regular basis. Let us close by reminding ourselves of another promise of God reserved for those who are regular in their Tahajjud prayers: And during a part of the night, say the night prayer beyond what is incumbent on you; perhaps your Lord will raise you to a praiseworthy position. [Sura al-Israa, 17:79] And also remind ourselves of that the doors of His Mercy and blessings are specially open for us at this time. In a beautiful Du‘ā recommended by Imam al-Sajjād (a) for recitation before beginning Salātul Layl, we say: My God, the stars of Your sky have descended and the eyes of Your people are sleeping and the voices of Your servants and Your animals have become silent, and the kings have locked their doors and its guards are moving around it, and they are guarded from he who wishes to ask them for a need or to get a benefit from them. But You my God, are Ever Living, Subsistent, slumber or sleep does not overtake you /episode/index/show/marziahassan/id/30671478

Seek forgiveness continuously [25:65] 04/03/2024

Seek forgiveness continuously [25:65] Continuing with the portrait of Ibad ur Rahman, verses 65 & 66 from Sura Furqan outline another quality: [25:65] And they who say: O our Lord! turn away from us the punishment of hell, surely the punishment thereof is lasting Servants of the Ibad ur Rahman are in continuous touch with their own humanity, with their propensity to make mistakes, to offend, to fall short and to choose evil over good in the moment. They are deeply aware of their own shortcomings due to the nature of being human. They also recognize that every action has a consequence and that the Hereafter is a place of accountability. They understand that while this world often hides the true impact and consequences of our actions, that in the Hereafter the impact will become apparent. Theirs is a prayer of humility: they rely not on any good works which they may have done, but on the Grace and Mercy of Allah. They realise that while Allah [swt] is infinitely Merciful, that the courtesy of the Ibad ur Rahman is that they do not take this Mercy for granted. In spite of their worship , they do not rest and think how pious they are, nor do they take their salvation for granted, they know that with all their best effort, they cannot do justice to His Mercy, they know that if they attain Salvation, it will be, not because of their worth but because of His Mercy. And so their attitude is one of constant striving and seeking of forgiveness and mercy rather than having the attitude of self-satisfaction and the feeling that they have arrived. The condition that believers are asked to attain is to be in a state between hope and fear. Fear of the result of our actions balanced with the hope in His Mercy. Seeking forgiveness constantly was part of the Sunnah of the Holy Prophet [saw]. He used to seek forgiveness every day, after every gathering, at the end of every Salaat, and generally showed how important it was to turn to Allah constantly. Hadith tells us that that person is fortunate who on the Day of Judgement opens his book of deeds and finds under every sin he committed, a stamp of forgiveness. We can facilitate this by asking for it regularly. Just as we clean our body, our home, our possessions, we can keep our hearts and souls clean by having a regular practice of seeking forgiveness [istighfar] /episode/index/show/marziahassan/id/30671513

Avoid falsehood and vanity [25:72] 04/03/2024

Avoid falsehood and vanity [25:72] Continuing with our series of exploring some of the characteristics of the Ibadur Rahman, verse 72 from Chapter 25 [Sura Furqan] says: And they who do not bear witness to what is false, and when they pass by what is vain/idle talk, they pass by nobly. [25:72] Another two qualities of the sincere servants of the All Compassionate is that 1) they do not testify falsely or give false evidence, and not do they take part in anything which implies falsehood or fraud. Scholars explain that to witness no falsehood has three meanings, all of which are implied in this passage: (1) firstly not to give evidence which is false by lying or bearing false witness and (2) secondly, not to assist in anything which implies fraud or falsehood or lead to deception in any way. And (3) not to participate or attend situations or gatherings where there is falsehood. 2) the second quality mentioned in this verse is that when they encounter either falsehood or frivolity or obscenity, they have no time for it, they do not get involved in it and they gracefully withdraw. This is the most natural outcome of their conviction that Allah s.w.t in that they are not affected by the environment. If it is distasteful, or frivolous, they pass it by. These are people who are proactive, constructive and goal oriented, they use their time wisely and do not involve themselves in that which will not bring a good outcome. And they avoid or pass by such matters with “kiram” an attitude of dignity, that also carries the sense of nobility, generosity, and high-mindedness. It is interesting that the word kiram also contains within it a hint of humility: they pass by not with contempt or arrogance but with an “honourable avoidance”. We can use this verse to remind ourselves to protect ourselves, our psyche and our souls from situations and events which will impact our souls in ways that we do not even often recognize. It is common today for us to become more and more de-sensitised to all sorts of perversions since they have become so common place that we do not even recognize them as such. What we watch, listen to and expose ourselves to has an impact on us even if we do not recognize it. I like to remind myself of the fable of the boiled frogs, a version of which is below: Once upon a time, in a lush green valley nestled between two mighty mountains, there lived a community of frogs. These frogs were content, hopping about in their pond, enjoying the warmth of the sun and the coolness of the water. Life seemed perfect for them until one day, a curious event occurred. A group of frogs, adventurous and eager to explore, stumbled upon a pot left by a passing traveler. Intrigued by its contents, they peered inside to find it filled with lukewarm water. Unbeknownst to them, the pot was placed on a slow-burning fire, gradually heating the water. At first, the frogs found the water comfortable. It was a pleasant change from the coolness of their pond. They swam around, enjoying the novelty of their discovery. But as time passed, the water grew warmer, imperceptibly so. The frogs, however, failed to notice the gradual change. They became accustomed to the increasing temperature, adapting to it without realizing the danger lurking beneath the surface. Slowly, the warmth turned into heat, and still, the frogs remained in the pot, oblivious to the peril they were in. Eventually, the water reached a boiling point. By then, it was too late for the frogs to escape. Their bodies had grown too weak from the prolonged exposure to the heat. Tragically, one by one, they succumbed to the boiling water, their lives lost to their ignorance of the danger that had surrounded them. The tale of the boiled frogs serves as a poignant metaphor for the human condition. It illustrates how individuals can become desensitized to gradual changes in their environment, whether it be social, political, or personal. Just like the frogs in the pot, people may fail to recognize warning signs or dangers when they occur slowly over time. This story emphasizes the importance of awareness and vigilance in our lives. It reminds us to pay attention to subtle shifts in our surroundings and to remain mindful of the potential threats to our value system, no matter how small they may seem at first. By staying alert and responsive, we can avoid the fate of the boiled frogs and navigate life's challenges with greater resilience and wisdom. /episode/index/show/marziahassan/id/30671523

Adopt balance in your spending [25:67] 04/03/2024

Adopt balance in your spending [25:67] Another quality mentioned in Sura Furqan of the Ibad ur Rahman is that they are “qawama”, they adopt the “just mean” in spending. Verse 67 says: And they who when they spend, are neither extravagant nor parsimonious, and (keep) between these the just mean. [25:67] Islam at its core, is the “middle path”, the path between two extremes and Prophetic traditions state that “a virtue lies between two vices”. In this case, the virtue mentioned is that of infaq or spending on others. The idea of spending is of course taken as a given. Others have a right in what has been granted to us in trust and we are means by which they are given sustenance. And, as in all areas of life, we have to be mindful and responsible in how we give. Another similar verse of the Quran says: And let not thine hand be shackled to thy neck; nor let it be entirely open [17:29]. So let us consider what this implies. In ordinary spending this is a wise rule of course but even in charity, which are meant to be generous in, we should not be extravagant. Scholars explain that this means that we should neither do it for show, or to impress other people, or do it thoughtlessly, which would be the case if we "rob Peter to pay Paul". While giving, we need to be mindful of the rights of those who depend upon us, of our own needs and strike a perfectly just balance between them. Prophetic traditions shed further light on this issue: Imam Rida (as) has said that moderate prodigality and expenditure is the Quranic criteria of “...the rich according to his means, and the straitened according to his means, a provision in a fair manner.” Imam Sadiq (as) in a tradition said: “To spend for the sake of the falsehood is extravagance (though it is a little”. In other words, the intention with which we give is paramount. Even if we give a little but the intention is to support less than worthy causes or to look good, it may well be regarded as “israf”. In current times, as a community, we have more resources than at any other time in history and so many of us have been granted more than we need or can use. So the issue of “israf” in spending at first glance may not be that applicable. However, while this verse is about monetary spending, it can apply to all sorts of spending, including our time. Time is a fixed resource and for many it is a harder resource to be responsible with than money. For example, sometimes we are very keen to volunteer outside the house as we get so much validation and appreciation. It gives us satisfaction and boosts our self-esteem to be of use to others. If we are giving so much of our time and energy in such situations [or at work as well] that we return home depleted and empty, we may want to remind ourselves of this verse. If our loved ones are complaining about how little they get to see us, maybe we might want to examine if we are living the ‘just mean’ and balancing responsibilities appropriately. We might use this verse to remind ourselves that there are those who have the first right on our time, such as our families. Being balanced and taking a just mean includes taking account of the rights of those closest to us in regards to all our resources such as time, energy and money. /episode/index/show/marziahassan/id/30671558

Do not be wasteful and extravagant [17:26] 04/03/2024

Do not be wasteful and extravagant [17:26] In Sura Israa (17:26), Allah says: And do not squander wastefully. Reflection: In this verse as in other places in the Quran, Allah [swt] is commanding us not to be extravagant or wasteful. Islam encourages to be balanced in all aspects of life, including how we spend money and resources. And even, as in this verse, in giving charity. While it is encouraged to use and enjoy the bounties and blessings that we have been given, this needs to be done mindfully and with a concern for the welfare of society, which uses the same resources and of the planet, which bears the brunt of our overconsumption. Interestingly, there is not a set amount or a clear boundary that distinguishes extravagance from normal spending. The injunction not to be extravagant or wasteful does not relate to the quantity of spending but rather to improvidence or wastefulness. Scholars explain that since all of us have been blessed with differing amounts of resources, and so what is extravagance for one person may not count as extravagance for another. Buying what we need and using what we buy may not be wasteful but when we keep adding to the hordes of things that we already own and do not use, we do need to ask ourselves if this verse would apply to us. Also, what might be moderate spending for one with means may well be extravagant for another who spends more than they can afford, or one who has to borrow to fulfill greed or to keep up appearances. Why: In modern society as a generation of humans, we have more material resources available to us than ever before. And at the same time we also see a greater economic divide than ever before. While one area of the world is starving, other parts of the world squander resources by throwing away more food than can feed all those in need in another part of the world. In the affluent regions of the North and the West, we find ourselves ensnared in a culture of extravagance and excess—a realm where materialism reigns supreme, fostering an insatiable appetite for relentless consumption. Here, the mantra of "out with the old, in with the new" resonates louder than ever, perpetuating a cycle of disposal and acquisition driven not by necessity, but by the mere arrival of a fresher model. In this frenzied landscape, technology and fashion morph at a breakneck pace, compelling us to embark on a ceaseless quest to stay abreast of the latest gadgets and trends. Our economies are meticulously crafted upon the premise that individuals will continue to indulge in purchases far surpassing their genuine needs, often stretching their financial means to the breaking point. Yet, beneath the glossy veneer of consumerism lies a poignant truth: our innate desires cannot be satiated by material possessions alone. We are led to believe that fulfillment awaits us at the end of a shopping spree, only to discover that the void we seek to fill remains untouched by the accumulation of goods. Additionally, this wanton consumption is happening at a price. The planet is groaning and dying because of the excess of consumption of its inhabitants. So much so that there are not enough people on the planet to take the excess of clothes that we buy and then discard due to disposable fashion and other considerations. The crisis of the thousands of tons of perfectly wearable clothes ending up in landfills is only one example of the result of excess consumption and squandering of resources. The price to ourselves of the hedonic treadmill and materialistic lifestyle cannot be underestimated. We need to ask ourselves how much time and effort we are spending simply to acquire more things and what the psychological, emotional and spiritual cost of such a lifestyle is. How: Practicing mindful consumption will look different for all of us. What is important is that we are conscious of what we are spending and why. We also need to consider the impact that our consumption has on our spirituality and on the health of the planet. What can we reduce and re-use? What can we do without? Can we take the extra step in composting? Are we squandering resources like water and electricity without thinking? Let us consider these two narrations in this regard: Once Imam Jaffar as-Sādiq (as) asked that ripe dates be brought for the people around him. When the companions started eating the dates, some threw the date seeds away. The Imam told them: Do not do this as it is from tabdhīr and God does not like corruption. (This could mean that the date seeds could be used for animal feed or for human benefit and should not just be discarded). The Holy Prophet (saw) was once walking along and saw his companion doing wudhū. The man was using a lot of water. ‘Why are you wasting, O Sa‘ad,’ he asked. The man was surprised. ‘Is there waste in water of wudhū too’ he asked. ‘Yes’ said the Prophet ‘even if you are beside a running stream.’ Simple way to become mindful: Turning off the water in between the actions of wudhu Switching off lights when not in a room [even in public places and hotel rooms] Going the extra mile with reusing and composting parts of fruit and veggies that we do not consume /episode/index/show/marziahassan/id/30671178

Principles of healthy discussion [16:125] 03/19/2024

Appeal to reason and ask [rhetorical] questions [36:77-79] 03/18/2024

Appeal to reason and ask [rhetorical] questions [36:77-79] One of the methods frequently used by the Quran to convince the reader of its arguments is the use of logic and rhetorical questioning. Researchers into Quranic linguists assert that such rhetorical questions are used in more than a thousand verses of the Quran and each use is an invitation for the reader to shift their thinking paradigm. Let us remind ourselves that a rhetorical question is one that is asked without expecting or needing an answer but for the sake of emphasis or effect. Linguists say that a rhetorical question is “a forceful statement which has the form of a question but which does not expect an answer.’’ i.e., the rhetorical question has an interrogative structure but does not seek information. The speaker has some purpose in his mind, either to give a command or to make a statement indirectly. In the Holy Quran, Allah [swt] uses such questions to emphasize a point, to show the logic of the argument and to jolt the reader into reflecting to help the reader understand the point and to convince the reader with the sound logic presented. Why use this method of discussion? Scholars explain that the Holy Quran addresses its readers as sentient, articulate and rational human beings. It reminds us that we have been given the faculty of reason and logic. We have the ability to weigh things up, to make considered judgements. We are not asked to follow blindly or to agree to something which does not appeal to our reason. And so, by presenting convincing arguments, we are invited to be utterly convinced, deep down, in our heart and soul, that what is revealed in the Quran is the Truth, and that the truth can stand up to any scrutiny. Example: One of the frequent challenges that came up for the Holy Prophet [saw] was the belief in resurrection and the hereafter. In the following verses, the Quran uses rhetorical questions to help us reflect and come to logical conclusions: Has man not seen that We created him from a drop, and behold, he is a manifest adversary? And he has set forth for Us a parable and forgotten his own creation, saying, "Who revives these bones, decayed as they are?" Say, "He will revive them Who brought them forth the first time, and He knows every creation [Quran 36:77-79] These questions are posed to those who rejected the resurrection and final accounting. Their argument was: how can we be recreated if our bones have already turned to dust? The counter-argument presented through rhetorical questions is that the recreation cannot be harder than the original creation. He who created you in the first place, can He not bring you back? If He could create from nothingness, what can stop Him from recreating from the bones that have turned to dust? Implementing this verse in our discussions and arguments requires a level of confidence and grounded-ness. When we find ourselves in disputed arguments, it is so easy to get emotional and entrenched in our views. Excellent communicators, however, learn how and when to use logic and reason to put their points across. Using such questions is also deeply respectful of your opponent as you are appealing to their innate sense of reason and logic. /episode/index/show/marziahassan/id/30402698

Respond rather than react[41:34] 03/18/2024

Respond rather than react[41:34] We have explored this verse from Sura Fussilat from many different aspects. Today’s exploration will be in line with our theme of using verses from the Quran to guide us when we find ourselves in the midst of an argument. Despite our best intentions, things can get heated when we are in the midst of a conflict. It is hard to hear things that go against our belief system. It is so easy to take things personally. Others can say things in a way that triggers us and potentially make us lose our emotional balance. This verse from Sura Fussilat advices us to not react when others fall short of respectful conduct. Repel [evil] with what is best. [If you do so,] behold, he between whom and you was enmity, will be as though he were a sympathetic friend [Quran 41:34]. Scholars explain that the absence of a direct object after repel in the above verse means that the verse is open to many meanings and possibilities: we can repel anger with patience, error with truth, ignorance with clemency, and the commission of evil with pardon. In other words, instead of reacting to people’s behavior out of anger, we can practice responding in a way that is aligned to our own value system. As this verse explains, when we do this, it gives the other person a chance to calm down, it diffuses the tension and the aggression and allows the conversation to get back on track. A practice of repelling evil [or communication triggers and mistakes] with good [responsive and worthy communication] can lead to reconciliation, love, and (re)connection. How? We need to pause enough so that we can remind ourselves of the gifts Allah [swt] has given us in order to repel evil with good. These gifts are the gift of imagination, of self-control, of will power and the gift of conscience. It is only when we use some or all of these gifts that we can respond based on our own values rather than react to poor behaviour on the part of another. /episode/index/show/marziahassan/id/30405428

Do not offend your opponent [6:108] 03/17/2024

Do not offend your opponent [6:108] Do not revile those whom they call upon besides Allah, lest they should revile God out of enmity, ignorance. [Quran 6:108] This verse from Sura Anam cautions believers not to turn to offence and aggression in the midst of an argument, especially on matters of faith. It also provides a solid reason why it is not a good idea to do so: because such behaviour will most likely lead to a retaliation of like for like. When we are in the midst of an argument, it can be easy to become triggered and angry. If we sense we are losing an argument, we can become aggressive, attacking that which is most sacred to the other in an effort to prove our point, hurt the other or to defend ourselves. Such tactics never work. Behaviour like this will lead to a tit for tat competition that will only increase anger, bitterness and hostility between the arguing parties. A verbal assault has the same impact on our physiology that a physical attack does. When human beings are thus attacked, their rational brain goes offline and they regress to their most primitive instincts of fight or flight. When human beings are attacked, they will either attack the other or defend themselves using whatever means they have in their power. Often, they will resort to attacking our most vulnerable areas or our most sacred beliefs. In other words, once we resort to attacking what is sacred to the other, the outcome of such a conversation or discussion cannot be good. It will leave both parties feeling angry, aggressive and hostile towards the other. This verse is a powerful reminder in our personal, spiritual and political lives when we find ourselves in a midst of a dispute. Let us maintain respect for each other and mind our words, using logic and reason rather than hate or aggression to make our points. As believers, we are expected to show the highest level of decorum and behaviour towards friends and opponents alike. This is more true today than ever before when arguments on social media often disintegrate to hateful and offensive comments as people hide behind the screen to say things that they would not have the guts to say to others in person. Whether we like it or not, fair or not, reality is that the whole is judged by its part. Every single one of us is an ambassador and those that wish us ill are purposely baiting and triggering us, waiting for us to fail, to slip up. Let us use this verse to remind ourselves not to fall for these traps. How can we do this? We do not need to engage or respond right away, especially on social media. We can give ourselves the grace of time and gather our thoughts before responding. We can remind ourselves of the larger goal, and that none of this is personal. And we can practice practice practice! /episode/index/show/marziahassan/id/30402723

Present a balanced perspective [2:219] 03/17/2024

Present a balanced perspective [2:219] When we are in the midst of a conflict or a dispute, we tend to focus only on our side of the argument, ignoring or rejecting what merit or truth may be found on the other side. And when we do this, the other side gets more focused on proving us wrong and highlighting their arguments. Discussions and arguments like these seldom if ever, result in a deeper understanding. And they almost never result in any one side giving in to the other. The Quran teaches us another way: they ask you about wine and gambling. Say,“There is a great sin in both of them, and some benefits for the people, but their sinfulness outweighs their benefit” [Quran 2:219]. This is such an interesting verse and one from which we can learn a lot. Although the Quran is unequivocal in its discouragement of using intoxicants and gambling, it acknowledges that there is some merit and attraction in them. To someone who is inclined towards intoxicants and/or gambling, they are engaging in these because they find some attraction or benefit in them. If we are too focused on telling them all the reasons why these are evil and not allowed, their experience is that we do not understand them and why they are so inclined. Once we accept that their inclinations make sense given the attraction, they feel validated and are much more likely to hear opposing arguments out. This is such a beautiful example of how we can acknowledge and validate another point of view while we present our arguments and reasoning. When we are able to acknowledge and validate another’s point of view, we do these four things: 1) Convey that we are balanced and open minded 2) Convey empathy and understanding for their point of view 3) Convey that we are brave and fair enough to look at all sides of an issue, even those that go against our point of view 4) Look for common ground Such a posture when we are in conflict does a lot to dissolve resistance and greatly enhances the other’s ability to listen to our point of view and to consider it. This verse is particularly useful for parents who are attempting to discourage their children from using substances or engaging in risky behaviour. If we acknowledge the positive aspects of substances and convey that we understand the attraction, they are so much more likely to pay attention to what we have to say. /episode/index/show/marziahassan/id/30405403

Establish common ground 29:46 03/17/2024

Establish common ground 29:46 Continuing with our series on inspiration from the Holy Quran for engaging in discussion and dispute, the verse today is from Sura Ankabut where Allah (swt) says: And dispute not with the People of the Book, save in the most virtuous manner, unless it be those of them who have done wrong. And say, “We believe in that which was sent down unto us and was sent down unto you; our God and your God are one, and unto Him are we submitters.” [Holy Quran 29:46] This verse is an injunction to the Prophet and Muslims to not argue with Jews and Christians, except in a beautiful manner that calls them through God’s signs and draws evidence from God’s proofs or in a manner that invites them to good, as in the verse we discussed yesterday [16:125: Call unto the way of thy Lord with wisdom and goodly exhortation. And dispute with them in the most virtuous manner] which taught us that even if others speak poorly, Muslims should still speak well. Today’s verse from Sura Ankabut adds another principle for debate and dispute: establish common ground by reminding the other side of what you share in common. In this verse, the Holy Prophet [saw] is asked to remind them that he believes in their revelation and that they both share a common deity of worship. Muslims are ordered to declare the fundamental similarities between the revelations sent to them and those sent to previous religious communities, as in 2:136: Say, “We believe in God, and in that which was sent down to us, and in that which was sent down to Abraham, Ishmael, Isaac, Jacob, and the Tribes, and in what Moses and Jesus were given, and in what the prophets were given from their Lord. We make no distinction among any of them, and unto Him we submit” (cf. 3:84). In a world that is focused on differences between people, in what makes one superior over another and the divides therein, this verse establishes a very important principle of communicating with those we disagree with: instead of focusing on what separates us, establish a common ground that you can agree on. A study of psychology reveals why this is such an important and effective way to communicate. We all come from different backgrounds and as a result, we see things differently and hold different beliefs. But this doesn’t mean it’s impossible to agree, or at least be amicable and respectful. By finding common ground, we can see eye-to-eye with someone else for a moment. It then becomes easier to see eye-to-eye on other topics you previously didn’t agree on at all. When we focus on differences, the other is likely to become defensive and much more stubborn in their position. Pointing out what you have in common and can agree on, validates them, puts them at ease and makes it more likely that they may listen to your point of view. Of course, this does not mean that we will always convince the other person of our point of view. When people realize that there are at least some areas of agreement, it builds trust and both can walk away feeling less diametrically opposed. And it is more likely that you can work together toward common goals. Reflection: When was the last time you were in disagreement with someone about a matter or belief or value? Did you walk away with a deeper understanding or a feeling of further distance and dissatisfaction? Implementation: Next time you find yourself in disagreement, remember this verse and try establishing common ground, some area of agreement. This is not as hard as it sounds. We can often disagree about details but agree on the bigger picture. For example, as Muslims, we can all agree about the importance of the Holy Prophet [saw] and emulating his way of life, even if we disagree on the details of what that looks like. Communication experts recommend the following to foster communication between people on opposing sides of an issue: Know your subject and why you believe what you do. When we are not sure of why we belief what we do, we are more likely to get defensive. Try to see it from their perspective. Seeing from another perspective does not mean that we give up our beliefs. It does mean that we build bridges of mutual respect and understanding. When we can present the other person’s argument to them, it immediately builds trust and respect because they know we get it, even if we do not agree. Seeing from another perspective begins by listening and asking questions to deepen our understanding. Not only does this foster greater understanding, it also allows people to reflect on their own beliefs and biases. Be aware of your own biases and maybe even announce them. We are all products of our environment and upbringing and this impacts how we think and what we belief. We can be humble about this without changing our beliefs if they are working for us. Keep the issue under discussion separate from the person who is arguing it. This means we never ever attack another human being’s character or personality. Doing do will only ensure that they do the same and will block out your arguments. Appeal to reason and ask [rhetorical] questions [36:77-79] One of the methods frequently used by the Quran to convince the reader of its arguments is the use of logic and rhetorical questioning. Researchers into Quranic linguists assert that such rhetorical questions are used in more than a thousand verses of the Quran and each use is an invitation for the reader to shift their thinking paradigm. Let us remind ourselves that a rhetorical question is one that is asked without expecting or needing an answer but for the sake of emphasis or effect. Linguists say that a rhetorical question is “a forceful statement which has the form of a question but which does not expect an answer.’’ i.e., the rhetorical question has an interrogative structure but does not seek information. The speaker has some purpose in his mind, either to give a command or to make a statement indirectly. In the Holy Quran, Allah [swt] uses such questions to emphasize a point, to show the logic of the argument and to jolt the reader into reflecting to help the reader understand the point and to convince the reader with the sound logic presented. Why use this method of discussion? Scholars explain that the Holy Quran addresses its readers as sentient, articulate and rational human beings. It reminds us that we have been given the faculty of reason and logic. We have the ability to weigh things up, to make considered judgements. We are not asked to follow blindly or to agree to something which does not appeal to our reason. And so, by presenting convincing arguments, we are invited to be utterly convinced, deep down, in our heart and soul, that what is revealed in the Quran is the Truth, and that the truth can stand up to any scrutiny. Example: One of the frequent challenges that came up for the Holy Prophet [saw] was the belief in resurrection and the hereafter. In the following verses, the Quran uses rhetorical questions to help us reflect and come to logical conclusions: Has man not seen that We created him from a drop, and behold, he is a manifest adversary? And he has set forth for Us a parable and forgotten his own creation, saying, "Who revives these bones, decayed as they are?" Say, "He will revive them Who brought them forth the first time, and He knows every creation [Quran 36:77-79] These questions are posed to those who rejected the resurrection and final accounting. Their argument was: how can we be recreated if our bones have already turned to dust? The counter-argument presented through rhetorical questions is that the recreation cannot be harder than the original creation. He who created you in the first place, can He not bring you back? If He could create from nothingness, what can stop Him from recreating from the bones that have turned to dust? Implementing this verse in our discussions and arguments requires a level of confidence and grounded-ness. When we find ourselves in disputed arguments, it is so easy to get emotional and entrenched in our views. Excellent communicators, however, learn how and when to use logic and reason to put their points across. Using such questions is also deeply respectful of your opponent as you are appealing to their innate sense of reason and logic. /episode/index/show/marziahassan/id/30402688

How to debate and dispute 16:125 03/17/2024

How to debate and dispute 16:125 Today we start a series on verses from the Quran that guide us how to discuss, debate and disagree with people. In the following verse from Sura Nahl, Allah says: Call unto the way of your Lord with wisdom and goodly exhortation. And dispute with them in them in a manner that is best [16:125] 4 commands are given to the Holy Prophet [as] in this verse. “(O’ Prophet!) call (mankind)…” “…to the path of your Lord…” “…with wisdom and good admonition…” “…and dispute with them in a manner that is best…” Scholars explain that “To call . . . with wisdom” may mean That the one inviting towards God should use knowledge, reason, and understanding to attract people towards God. He should appeal to the natural instinct and the intellect of human beings. People are more likely to respond to arguments which are rational and logical. Hazrat Luqmān (as) when advising his son, said: My son, learn wisdom and you will become noble, for verily wisdom directs towards religion that people should call others to religion on the basis of the revelation that has come to them, that is by using the verses of the Quran Or with firm and truthful words, avoiding obscure language or jargon The term beautiful or wise exhortation/admonition can be understood to refer to the beautiful expressions that constitute the arguments, proofs, and reminders found in scripture Admonition that is done with good intention and for the benefit of people being advised as this shows concern for them It is advice which is offered in a gentle manner, in a manner that would soften hearts, that is, with gentle persuasion and reasonable commands Good advice, admonition The second part of the verse deals with the situation that when people are called, they will naturally present their own arguments. And so, how should he respond? To dispute with them in the best way one should dispute in matters of religious difference by using logical argumentation based upon sound and mutually agreed-upon principles It should be done with sincerity, fairness, gentleness and should preserve the dignity of the other person Without harassment, rudeness, or harshness It should be free from condemnation and mockery, and not overstated Reflection: This verse entails a positive command to action. Invite others towards God. Speak about righteousness and universal values. Invite through example and speech. And when presented with counter arguments, dispute in a gentle and fair manner. Implementation: This verse teaches us how to communicate our values and beliefs to others and also how to respond when others do not agree. Reality is that in relationships and in life, we may find ourselves on opposing sides of an issue. Very often, when this happens, we may get triggered and react in a an aggressive and unhelpful way. This verse reminds us how to engage in communication when there is clearly a difference of opinion or values. Firstly, such conversation needs to be done with the right intention. We can speak up for what we believe, defend our truth, remove doubts and misconceptions, but we must always do with respect and compassion. When we dispute or argue in this way, we are not defending our own power of status. We come from a place of respect, love and compassion, intending good for all concerned. Secondly, wisdom and good advice means that we keep in mind what might be in it for the other person. Why should they listen to us? What is in it for them? This verse is such a valuable reminder, especially in current times when people are more polarized and divided than ever. By being guided by wisdom and respect in our communication we have the best chance of being heard, influencing others or making a difference. For the next few days, let us explore the elements of a good discussion or argument. /episode/index/show/marziahassan/id/30402678

Turning to the Quran for Guidance and Inspiration to Manage ourselves and take effective action in challenging times Part 2 – Channelling anger effectively and towards the right people and entities 11/08/2023

Turning to the Quran for Guidance and Inspiration to Manage ourselves and take effective action in challenging times Part 1 11/08/2023

Loving and Living the Quran

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