Come Home to Yourself and The Person You Want to Be

 

Here we are, a new year, with new resolutions. Did you know that Research shows about 60 percent of us make New Year's resolutions but only about 8 percent are successful in achieving them. That’s horrible results.

I’ve been there too many times. I set a goal, and about 3 weeks into it, I’ve failed. Because I failed to keep my promise to myself, then I feel like a failure. It’s not a healthy way to start the new year.

I’m not a goal coach, and goals are important! They’re the roadmap to how to get to where you want to be. If you love goal setting, you have to listen to next week’s episode with the ultimate goal coach, Jacki Carr of GoalSPEAK.  She will help you get motivated, lay out a clear plan and stay motivated and excited to reach and achieve your biggest goals.

Maybe it’s the hippie empath in me, but I’ve found that tuning into my feelings, rather than resolutions, speak more to my heart, help lead me to my goals and tether me to how I want to live my life every day.

We’re coming into a new decade. A very powerful decade. 2020 baby!

It’s time to really come home to yourself and step into the person you want to be.

This is not another year to set goals and break your promise to yourself. This is a time to set your intention of how you want to feel, live that feeling each day and let that feeling be your GPS guiding you to your goals and dreams. 

Usually we set a goal not because of the end result, but because of how it makes us feel.

Focusing on intention and feeling rather than a just getting to the goal usually is stronger and successful because it’s deeply ingrained in your motivation. For example, the goal of losing weight to get into your skinny jeans is not as powerful if you don’t tap into the feeling behind the goal. I had been wanting to give up caffeine for years. I tried and always failed about a week into it. Being healthy wasn’t a big motivator for me. The WHY wasn’t strong enough. But after going through a miscarriage, a partial molar pregnancy and a cancer scare with two D&Cs and a recovery time of 11 months, the moment we found out we were cleared to start trying again for a baby was the day I quit caffeine cold turkey. How did I go from 2 cups of coffee a day to nada? My WHY was strong. I wanted to have a baby! The feeling of being healthy so that I could get pregnant was a huge motivator to help me reach one of my biggest goals of becoming a mother.

When you can get really clear on your WHY, the intention, the feeling behind your goal, then you can faithfully take steps to get there and know that that goal is in alignment with really where you want to be. And the right steps will present themselves when you’re in alignment with your True Self - not the goals that sounds good on paper, but the goals or next actions that really light you up and fuel your spirit.

You know that saying “our thoughts drive our behavior?” Well I believe our feelings drive our behavior. Let me explain. Our feelings are tied to our beliefs. Marie Forleo says our beliefs are something we hold true, even if they’re not. Beliefs are very powerful! Feelings are the undercurrent of our beliefs. Then our beliefs drive our thoughts which drive our actions. 

It all starts with a feeling. Sometimes it can be hard to change a belief about ourselves, because we’ve spent decades reinforcing it with our thoughts. Begin to change your beliefs and patterns by focusing on a feeling – the why.

So the question is, How do you want to feel this upcoming year?

Today, I’ll guide you through 5 questions to tap into how you want to feel and let this intention of feeling this way through 2020 be your guide to how you can live this feeling every day.

I invite you to get quiet and join me in on a guided meditation/ and journaling exercise. Grab a pen and your favorite journal and let’s get started. {Guided meditation + place hand on heart}

Here are 5 steps to come home to yourself and how you want to feel this year. 

The first 3 steps are borrowed from my favorite coach, Marie Forleo from her decade in review challenge.  There is a link in the show notes to her 2 videos. Typically, I review the past year and set goals for the upcoming year. 

The last steps are from my signature program Soul School launching in April, providing you tools and techniques to help ground you back to your Soul and who you are meant to be. It’s about diving in deep, doing the work and coming home to yourself and how you want to feel every day. It’s about looking about your beliefs, how they hold you back and restructuring your beliefs so you become your biggest advocate and best friend.

Change your beliefs. Change your life.

Today is not about setting goals. It’s about getting clear of how you want to feel and creating a vow and promise to yourself with ways to get there – every day.

There’s a powerful quote, “People overestimate what can be done in one year, and underestimate what can be done in ten.”

Looking back on the past decade:

1. What are you most proud of and why?

2. What are your biggest lessons?

The challenging times are where you learn the biggest TRUTHS about yourself.  I bet when you write down your lessons, you will have so many empowering nuggets of wisdom and advice to yourself. You are wiser than you give yourself credit!

3. What are you willing to release?

• goals or projects you’ve had on your To Do list for far too long
• resentments and emotional baggage
• habits or beliefs that don’t serve you

4. How do you want to feel? Create your 1-3 Soul Feelings
Brainstorm: this is how we feel when we are deeply connected to ourselves. This is not how you think you should feel.  get quiet from your mind and tune into your heart. How do YOU want to feel? this is totally just for you and will only make sense to you. You may have felt glimpses of this feeling or this may be an aspirational feeling you desire to feel or maybe you see another person who embodies this feeling. If you can imagine it or see this feeling in others, then it exists in you too. Take a big pause, breathe deeply, and place your hands on your heart: how do I want to feel? you may even say: I want to feel the opposite of what I’m feeling right now. write down as many feelings as possible. How does your heart want to feel? How do you want to feel?

Pick 1-3 Soul Feelings and create your VOW: I want to feel: 1, 2, 3…

5. Brainstorm you SOUL ANCHORS: What do you need to do to stay connected to those feelings?

So, now that you know how you want to feel and a bunch of ways to get you there, each day ask yourself, what do I need now to be in alignment with how I want to feel? Get quiet and tune into your heart and let your Soul speak and lead the way to the activities and thoughts that support you. It’s this sacred practice of coming home to yourself every day that will bridge the gap of how you currently feel and get you to how you want to feel. These small daily wins help you feel good and feeling good keeps you motivated and hopeful.

When you are full, inspired and believe in yourself, you are more likely to be in alignment with achieving your biggest and loftiest goals.

Goals that are based from a deep feeling are grounded in your truth. Having a strong why is what gets you to accomplish your biggest dreams. Feeling a certain way leads you to change patterns and believe in yourself. Rather than focus on an outcome, be present to how you want to feel each day. When you feel good, it’s easier to keep promises to yourself. Your Feelings create change that is lasting.

Living your soul feelings will help you create pockets of daily moments you can come home to yourself, and weaving these little moments each day lead to a fulfilled and joyful life.

There are so many great ways to start your new year: Goal Setting, Vision Boards, Year in Review, visualizations etc. I hope you find this way of declaring your Soul Feelings and attuning to them each day, just one path to connecting to your Truth: that you are enough and you matter. 

You have gifts to share with this world, my friend. So, together, this year is your year. Let’s unearth your gifts, shed limited beliefs and help you step into how you want to feel. When you feel good, alive, empowered, loved, enough you can conquer anything!

I am so honored to be your friend and guide you to believe and love yourself, know you are deserving and help step into the person you want to be.