Eps 227: Problem Solving with Cynthia Klein

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My guest today is Cynthia Klein.

Cynthia is an Educator, Coach, Speaker, and Author. Through her work, Cynthia helped parents of children from age five to 30.

Through a strong desire to create a great relationship with her own child, Cynthia’s journey to developing herself as a parent began early on. By building Bridges 2 Understanding and cooperation rooted in mutual respect, she was able to achieve the connection she longed for with her teenage daughter.

Cynthia understands the challenges of parenting and provides solutions that are unique, effective, individualized, and enduring. You can achieve results that will change the course of your relationship with your children and your family’s dynamic now and for generations to come.

Cynthia’s education includes a B.A. in Psychology, Training and Human Resource Development Certificate, California and New Mexico teaching credentials, numerous parent education certificates, and life lessons gained from raising a successful daughter who values her mom’s opinion.

Her book is titled, Ally Parenting: A Non-Adversarial Approach to Transform Conflict Into Cooperation.

"It's all about still having your authority in your power, doing it in a way that is respectful.”

“What do I feel, think or do differently to get a different response?”

“You can’t control your children. You can only influence.” 

 

What you’ll hear in this episode:

• The difference between hard and soft power and leadership and control
• Building a foundation to prepare for challenges ahead.
• When kids complain about limits
• Why it starts with changing yourself first
• Why you need to ask yourself who owns the problem
• Problem solving roles: director, collaborator, or supporter
• Building emotional connection first 
• Some of the ways that parents show up as adversaries in their relationship with their kids
• The think/feel/do cycle
• Moving past the victim mindset 
• What being a collaborator means 
• Timing your conversations 
• How to stop blocking communication
• The power of writing things down 
• What happens when we make assumptions vs approach with curiosity
• Helping your kids feel heard 
• Soliciting ideas in problem solving 
• Making a plan together and instituting a trial phase 
• What to do when your plan doesn’t roll out the way you expected 
• Using empathy to redirect 

 

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

It was interesting with this question, what came up for me is I find parenting especially teens and young adults scary, because my daughter was bullied and because of that she had all these girls turned against her and she was traumatized for many, many, many years, many years. And so she did a lot of challenging risky behavior and so I had to feel a lot of fear. And for me to feel that fear, and to realize that that's fear for now. And then for me to put that fear aside, because to be able to look through my child's current scary behavior, to look at her potential, instead of instead of the actions at that moment what she was doing, because to believe in her that right now she's doing these things because of her lack of belief in herself. And I think having that feeling about her made her always be able to call me when things were really rough and they got pretty darn scary. But because of that, that I see as my courage, to have that courage and still find joy amongst the fear to not make that everything what I was feeling, to still find the joy and love with her, which made it so she could talk to me and connect with me. And at last, starting probably her late 20s, she kind of got it all together.

 

Resources: 

Ally Parenting: A Non Adversarial Approach To Transform Conflict Into Cooperation

 

Where to find Cynthia: 

Bridges2understanding.com

Facebook

LinkedIn

Twitter

Instagram

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The Book, The Coaching

Joyful Courage is so much more than a podcast! I know that you love listening in every week AND I want to encourage you to dig deeper into the learning with me, INVEST in you parenting journey.

READ THE BOOK - Joyful Courage, Calming the Drama and Taking Control of Your Parenting Journey is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access to the tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child. Available both in book and audio book form → http://www.joyfulcourage.com/book

CONSIDER ONE ON ONE COACHING - The most POWERFUL of investments offered by Joyful Courage, one on one coaching allows for parents to really tease apart the current issues they are having with their child, while also developing a clear compass for guiding them in the direction they want to be going in. Coaching happens every other week, and is open for parents with kids 4 years old through the teen years. Go to my coaching page to book a free exploratory call and see if we are the right fit. → http://www.joyfulcourage.com/jccoaching

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