Keepin' It Real with Cam Marston
Cam Marston made a promise to his kids years ago, certain time would let him off the hook. He was wrong — and this week, he's paying for it, in the best possible way. ----- Many years ago, my wife and I made a commitment to our kids that I thought would probably go in one ear and out the other. It was a commitment that was easy to make because it was so far off that I was sure no one would remember it and they certainly wouldn't enforce it. "When the twins graduate from high school," my wife and I announced one night at dinner, "we'll take a big family trip." The twins were in grade school...
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Most of us have heard the phrase "they really knew me" — but rarely stop to consider what that truly costs us when it's gone. ----- What Does It Mean to Have a Witness to Your Life? Strange question, I know. But it surfaced at my mother-in-law's funeral this past Monday in Raleigh, and I haven't been able to shake it. A childhood friend of my wife's pulled her aside. "I'm sorry," she said. "Your mother was a witness to your life. Losing her is hard." I had never heard that expression before. And the weight of it hit me somewhere I wasn't prepared for. If we're lucky, we have...
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There’s sad news at Cam’s house. Friends are reaching out to help his family through their grief. Losing a loved one is never easy and friends just want to help by doing something. ----- Busy hands surround my wife and me these days. Recent bad news has brought the need for friends to reach out and want to help us get through it. “I’m so sorry,” they say. “What can I do?” Our reply, just like most people’s is “Nothing. Thank you. We’re all set.” And they reply with, “Well, let me at least bring dinner.” The need to do something to feel helpful. The need for busy...
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Cam’s been studying retirement trends for his work lately. One thing’s for sure, he’s not ready! ----- More often than not, when I ask someone who has retired in the past two years, their answer is nearly exactly the same. They say, “Well, retirement’s not all it’s cracked up to be.” Why? They worked so hard for it, now they have it. So, what’s missing? My work has steered me into retirement studies. Most people think about money when they think about retirement planning, but I’m learning money is not the only thing you need to plan for. There’s more. And it’s something...
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On this week’s Keepin’ It Real, Cam has been away lately but just got back from Spring Break with his kids. Imagine a cruise ship wrecked on a beach and they turned it into a hotel…. ----- Imagine a Carnival Cruise ship out at sea and loaded with passengers headed full speed, for the coast of the Dominican Republic and crashing ashore not far from Punta Cana. Then, rather than clean up the mess, they turn wreckage into a hotel, add a bunch more swimming pools and put loud Bose speakers everywhere, and call it the Hard Rock All-Inclusive Sodom and Gomorrah Resort and Hotel Punta Cana....
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On this week’s Keepin It Real, Cam has learned that there are moments in time where a simple guttural sound really really matters. And they can’t accumulate because they expire quickly. All this relates back to an incomplete Christmas present. ----- I got an ant farm for Christmas. My kids laughed and they told their friends and they laughed but my family came through and on Christmas morning I opened an ant farm. It has a main chamber and two auxiliary chambers. I set it up just like the pictures showed. A few weeks ago, in March, I got the ants for my birthday. Apparently, the farm...
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On this week's Keepin It Real, Cam has been pitched by a software company to duplicate himself. Who would want another of him? Even he questions his own worth from time to time. ----- I’ve just come from my accountant’s office where I handed all my tax information to the lady at the front desk. The manilla envelope was much lighter this year than in years past. Last week I had a long talk with an AI guy out of Houston. He said he loved to find people like me – content experts with books and videos and training programs and blogs and podcasts and such. He wants to take all content...
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On this week's Keepin It Real, Cam realizes that he really had no choice over what he gave up for Lent - it was given to him and he's not happy about it. ----- Our new puppy continues to rule the house and my life. She was trained by the breeder to urinate on a pee pad which is exactly what it sounds like – an absorbent mat for dogs to urinate on indoors. At our house, that means the carpet. She’ll trot off the hardwood floors, pass the open back door to find the Persian rug and squat and look at me with an expression of “look how good I am!” Meanwhile the whole yard in available...
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On this week’s Keepin It Real, Cam wonders what the life span of a titanium knee is and whether his father might need one or two more with the way he’s going. ----- My eighty-nine-year-old father is scheduled to get a knee replacement next week. Let me say that again - he’s eighty-nine and getting a new knee and is eager to return to his very active life when the pain subsides. He’s done this once before and wants the same results. People stop me nearly every day to ask about my father. They comment on how healthy he is and how he never slows down. This is true, though I can...
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In a few coastal cities in the deep south, in the weeks before Lent begins, a strange behavior begins to appear. Honorable and respectable people step into a different personalities for a short time. They do it together, and it's a heck of a good time. ----- Grown people acting like fools for a few days might very well be good for the soul. I’m not sure how large groups, primarily of men, agreeing to behave silly is therapeutic, but it is. I’ll leave it to some psychologist try to explain it. As a participant, though, I assure you, it’s good stuff. Over the top costumes, over the...
info_outlineOn Keepin It Real this week, Cam Marston makes some observations on this odd stretch of the calendar between Christmas and New Years.
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This is a strange time of year every year. Kinda a liminal space between two big holidays. My instinct says I need to be working but the buzz of my email – a reflection of how busy my work world is – is so quiet. It’s hard to get anyone to make decisions right now. Beginning around December 18th, we enter the “let’s circle back on this next year” stretch of the calendar. We go from opening small talk with “So, are you ready for Christmas?” to ending it with “Let’s circle back next year.” I’m as guilty of it as the next guy.
My father turns eighty-eight today. He’s turned his pickle-ball crowd onto these commentaries. So, to those of you playing pickleball today at the Via Health Center on Dauphin Street in Mobile, wish my father a Happy Birthday. He will probably try to waive you off, but I know he’ll be flattered to hear from you.
One of the most remarkable things in my world today is the activity of my eight-eight-year-old father. He plays pickleball at least four days a week. He’s made a whole new friend group there. Last year they convinced him to get a bike, and when they don’t play pickleball, they’ll often gather downtown and ride together for a few hours, staying away from the hills, and stopping some place for lunch or a beer. Many of them are twenty years younger than my father. They like him. They call to check in on him. They invite him to join them when they schedule things.
It’s wonderful for him and it’s wonderful for my brothers and me to know that since my mother’s passing a few years ago, my father has found an outlet. I saw recently that one of the primary ways to determine how long you’ll live is your measure of activity. Said another way, you don’t get old and stop moving, you get old when you stop moving. Dad’s still moving. He can still split firewood with an axe, still keep up with the youngsters on his bike, and still play pickleball several times a week. My daughter calls him to play when she’s home from college and they make a morning of it together at the Via Health Center.
Right around the corner on the calendar is Twelfth Night, known more commonly as the Feast of the Epiphany. The traditional date is January 6th and it’s the official start of Mardi Gras down here on the coast. King Cakes begin appearing in bakeries, beads start showing up. Notable and respectable people forgive each other and are forgiven for acting like fools with the culmination being Mardi Gras day which, this year, is March 4th, and, as luck has it, is also my birthday. In years past when my birthday coincides with Mardi Gras Day, I’ve created quite a spectacle of myself. Those days are over though I will enjoy Mardi Gras day a little more this year because it’s my birthday and I will enjoy my birthday a little bit more because it’s Mardi Gras..
Enjoy this odd liminal time on the calendar. Soon enough the grind will start again, and these commentaries will return – hopefully – to meaningful and thoughtful content.
I’m Cam Marston just Trying to Keep it Real.