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013: Fear of The Dad You Could Be

The Man Rules

Release Date: 06/19/2017

That’s All Folks. show art That’s All Folks.

The Man Rules

Welp. Here we are. The final episode of The Man Rules podcast. Dan and Andrea (the show’s producer) take the opportunity to reminisce, reflect, and ruminate on what might be next...

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What Men Would Tell You... About Having All The Answers show art What Men Would Tell You... About Having All The Answers

The Man Rules

Dan and Allen don't have all the answers, but they do have their own experiences in learning to let go of the need to know, and they share those with you in order to help you improve your relationships.

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Childhood Heroes and Personal Mythologies show art Childhood Heroes and Personal Mythologies

The Man Rules

All stories we relate to are based either on our wishes or on our fears. Sometimes--or maybe even often--both. That's what makes this week's episode with friend of the show Rick Belden such a powerful one. Rick leads Dan through a fascinating discussion about the ways in which we internalize our favorite childhood stories to develop personal mythologies and use them to guide the ways we show up in the world.

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Coping with Changing Gender Expectations show art Coping with Changing Gender Expectations

The Man Rules

This week, friend of the show Dr. Michael Levittan is back to help us sort through the many changes in our expectations of men and women over the years, and how psychology and psychotherapy have played a role in helping shape and guide those changes. 

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All Good Things Must Come to an End show art All Good Things Must Come to an End

The Man Rules

After more than two years of operation, we have made the difficult decision to end production of The Man Rules podcast. So, this week Dan's solo episode--his last solo episode--is about what it means to embrace change. 

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How to Stay Sober AF show art How to Stay Sober AF

The Man Rules

Thanks to Duke Rumely and his organization S.AF.E (Sober As F$@# Entertainment), people in recovery can safely attend events that otherwise may have triggered their addictions. The organization's goal is to create "sober safe zones" at sporting events, concerts, and other social gatherings. In this episode, he talks with Dan about the importance of staving off loneliness and boredom in maintaining sobriety and about the power of community.  

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What Men Would Tell You... About Winning show art What Men Would Tell You... About Winning

The Man Rules

In this episode, Dan and Allen talk about The Winning Rule, a chapter from their forthcoming book, What Men Would Tell You If They Weren't Too Busy Watching TV. They break down the ways in which the Winning Rule affects relationships, and show us how we can become more conscious of The Winning Rule and recognize when it's hijacked our reactions and behaviors. 

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Leggo my Ego show art Leggo my Ego

The Man Rules

Dr. Lou Cox has studied the ego for decades. He joins Dan to talk about his work and his new book, Ego: The Ghost in Your Machinery. He and Dan talk about the male ego and how men thrive and suffer as a result of their dances with the ego. Ultimately, Cox says, while we cannot overcome the ego we can step aside from it and move toward our native, and more authentic and vulnerable, self. The more awareness the more you can see those parts and make different decisions about who and how you want to be.

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Support the Podcast show art Support the Podcast

The Man Rules

his week, Dan's back with an update on our makeshift pledge drive. We hear from Noah, a longtime listener who has pledged his support, and Dan makes a case for you all to be like Noah. (If you can.) 

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Loving Like You Mean It  show art Loving Like You Mean It

The Man Rules

In this episode, Dr. Ron Frederick, psychologist and author of "Loving Like You Mean It" breaks down the four basic attachment styles, explains where they come from (childhood, of course), and how to use emotional mindfulness to build stronger, healthier and happier relationships. He also offers up a simple, four-step approach to help you break free from old habits, befriend your emotional experience, and develop new ways of relating.

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More Episodes

Our grandfathers knew exactly what was expected of them in their roles as fathers: go to work, put food on the table, step in and provide discipline when the kids are especially unruly. But, today, the expectations for Dads are much more negotiable. Our culture at large still hasn’t quite made up its mind about whether it is best for Dads to be more traditionally masculine, or if they should be working toward a more balanced and flexible approach to fatherhood. On the plus side, this means that men get to decide for themselves what kinds of fathers they will be. On the minus side, having to make choices that will have a significant impact on who our children ultimately become can bring on a lot of uncertainty, fear, and anxiety.

In this episode, Dan and author Jeremy Adam Smith encourage fathers to do some soul-searching, decide what their goals are at every stage of their children’s lives, and make conscious and intentional decisions that will help them be the kind of fathers their kids need them to be. They also discuss the particular challenges of parenting adolescents and of being a stepfather, and explain how men can work to improve their listening skills, compassion, and communication.

Jeremy is the author of two books, The Daddy Shift, and Rad Dad. He is also the Executive Editor of Greater Good Magazine.