About Face
As a single mom myself I've had to battle the negative stereotypes and stigmas around single motherhood and what happens after a marriage/parenting relationship breaks down. In this episode I am talking with Ruby Russell is a journalist, author, and single mom from London, also living in Berlin, and the author of Doing it All: The Social Power of Single Motherhood. Doing it All is a feminist exploration of single-motherhood, tracing a history through Victorian brothels, welfare rights activism and Black feminist traditions of othermothering. Ruby Russell tells a different story: of...
info_outline 51. I Went to Jail! The Stories We tell About OurselvesAbout Face
Somewhere there is a mugshot of me after I got arrested at a house party in Seattle when I was 20. There is also a picture of me graduating law school a few years later. Both of these pictures tell a story, and both are true. But how do I make meaning from these stories and these truths? What do these stories tell me about myself and my life? In this solo episode, I'm talking about how I have come to understand the power of storytelling, identity, and how we can use narrative in harnessing potential and creating our lives. In this episode I cover: How our stories about self define who...
info_outline 50. Family Estrangement & Going No Contact w/ Janice FormichellaAbout Face
"Just because someone is related, doesn't mean they love you," can be a difficult idea to accept, but recognizing that family relations don't always serve us can be empowering. Family estrangement is a taboo topic and those of us who have had to go no contact with famly members never make the decision lightly. Kate speaks with break-up coach and family estrangement expert, Janice Formichella about her own experience severing from the LDS church and the difficult decision to go no contact with toxic family members, including her parents. In addition to sharing their own stories of...
info_outline 49. PSA: Stop Texting When You Should Be Talking!About Face
When it comes to texting- I am the worst! I have a history of sending break-up texts, having serious conflicts by text message, and trying to communicate my emotional reactions and needs by text message. The thing is- we don't get anywhere by dumping on others through text message. We lose nuance, accountability, and the opportunity for conflict resolution. In this episode, I talk about my own history of being a bad communicator by text message, how I learned to (eeek!) call instead of text, and some thoughts on the relationship between text messaging, people pleasing, and conflict...
info_outline 48. Burnout in Mid-Life and 'The Way Home' w/ Ben KattAbout Face
I started this podcast after my own 'rock bottom' story and recovery journey, really in effort to capture the essence of personal growth and transformation coming out of darkness. But, what if there is no rock bottom? What if you simply feel, or hear a voice deep down that tells you ... something isn't right? 'Rock bottom’ stories can be inspiring, they do not always capture the very normative experiences of burnout, feelings of disconnect, and a lack of purpose, particulary at mid-life. And, how do we define mid-life? Could it be, not a number, but rather a point in life to look back,...
info_outline 47. Managing Fear and Anger During LossAbout Face
I wanted to share a difficulty that I have been struggling with the last month and how I was able to manage some hard, even shameful emotions that came up for me. When my kids' father got sick and ended up in the hospital for the last month I had to accept my new role as a single mom, without the help of a co-parent. In this episode I discuss the stages of grief I went through, including some anger and resentment that I was not proud of. I also discuss the shift I was able to make from fear and anger towards service, an old recovery tool that helped give me perspective on my loss and how I can...
info_outline 46. Love Stories in Art and Life w/ Olivia DeRecatAbout Face
Love stories captivate all of us, but how do narratives of love influence how we date, make meaning, and tell our own stories? What do we look for in the love stories of our own lives and how do larger narratives about love influence how we pursue and experience romance? In this episode, I interview Olivia de Recat, author, illustrator, and cartoonist for the New Yorker. Her book Drawn Together was named one of the best books of the Year by the New Yorker in 2022. This book was absolutely beautiful, truly hilarious, and a vulnerable look at romantic love stories in all shapes It’s...
info_outline 45. Illness, Negative Self-Talk, and HealingAbout Face
Being sick can have a negative impact on our sense of self and mental well-being. Do you feel unproductive, unable to be a good parent, or isolated and lonely when you're sick? When we are ill, a myriad of stories, beliefs, and negative associations can surface. These stories can impact our sense of self and, in my case, even lead to questioning my ability to work or be a good parent, fostering self-doubt and blame. To stop negative self-reflection during illness we must detach our identities and self-worth from the condition. It's about seeing the illness objectively, as something separate...
info_outline 44. Break Ups, Broken Hearts, and Moving On w/ Janice FormichellaAbout Face
One of the greatest pains we will ever endure in life is heartache, either from a break-up, rejection, divorce, or the severance of a relationship. In this episode I talked with Janice Formicella, a break-up coach and host of the podcast, "Break-ups, Broken Hearts, and Moving On." We talked about recovery from our own divorce and other break-ups, withdrawal after break-up, the power of no-contact, and how to use the pain of a break-up to fuel personal growth at any stage of life. We also talk about the power of narrative, understanding the self, and shifting our narratives around break-ups...
info_outline 43. College Pregnancy: An Interview with the Father (20 Years Later)About Face
Almost exactly 20 years ago I got pregnant. I was still in college and my boyfriend at the time was getting ready to start a Ph.D. at Harvard. We had big life dreams, that for both of us, seemed inevitable, not to be disrupted by an unexpected pregnancy. A couple years ago I met up with Jeremie when we were both in Paris and he agreed to let me record this conversation about what happened, our relationship, and how our lives were impacted. I want to clarify firstly, this is not an anti-abortion narrative, however it is a conversation about “what-ifs” and it’s something I would do...
info_outlineI hated the thought of being an addict or an alcoholic. I would often point to my external successes as a straight A student, a lawyer, having a good job and other markers of "well-being" to distract from my problem with alcohol, my depression, anxiety, and my pain. After going through recovery I've noticed that so many addicts are actually "successful" in many other areas of their lives. But, how is this narrative of success preventing them from getting help?
Today I am bringing you an interview that I did over the summer with Eilene Zimmerman who I first discovered after reading her viral article in the New York Times called, “The Lawyer, The Addict.”
I actually was doing my own research on this intersection between lawyers and addiction and this was a fascinating story about Eilene and her husband Peter, a high-powered attorney who died of a drug overdose, without her even knowing he had an addiction.
What is interesting to me about this story is the many ways that our cultural representations of addiction and drug and alcohol use mask the reality that these problems happen at every level of society and this rise of white collar addiction is actually a testament to some of the systemic issues arising from materialism, wealth, spiritual or emotional detachment and the pressure of career or financial success.
This interview is actually a conversation about her story and her book Smacked, which is currently being optioned for film by Elizabeth Moss and her film company Love & Squalor, who you might know from Madmen and The Handmaid’s Tale.
We talk about why attorneys have a propensity for addiction, co-dependency and marriage to an addict, and why the competition and conditioning of the legal profession is killing lawyers. Eilene also shares about her own trauma recovery, and how writing a memoir and her story helped her overcome grief, loss, and reclaim her sense of self.
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Our theme music is the song JEANNE by KENICHI & THE SUN from album White Fire which you can find here.