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Victim to Victor

Andrew Petty is Dying

Release Date: 11/29/2021

End-of-Life Planning: Why You Should Do It Now, and How, with Michelle Mathai show art End-of-Life Planning: Why You Should Do It Now, and How, with Michelle Mathai

Andrew Petty is Dying

Do you have a plan for when you die? Do you have a plan for when your loved ones die?  In 2001, Michelle Mathai was just two years into her first foreign service post as vice consul in Auckland, NZ. She and her parents were on a farewell trip around the island in anticipation of Michelle's imminent departure for a new post in El Salvador. In the blink of an eye, the trip turned tragic when their car, with her dad at the wheel and her mom in the back seat, careened off the road and into the mercilessly icy current of a glacial river. As water rushed in, Michelle was able to kick out the...

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Suffering, Surrender, and the Leap of Faith: How to Find Freedom on the Other Side of Letting Go, with Carrie Chown show art Suffering, Surrender, and the Leap of Faith: How to Find Freedom on the Other Side of Letting Go, with Carrie Chown

Andrew Petty is Dying

What do you need to let go of? In her teens, alcohol became Carrie Chown's refuge from emotional pain. By her early college years, she was firmly in the grips of alcoholism. Carrie worked hard to keep everything looking shiny on the outside, but inside she wanted to die. Then, she was diagnosed with pulmonary hypertension as a college junior and was told she had two years to live. Ironically, it felt like an answer to her prayer to die.  In June of 1999, Carrie summoned the will and the courage to get sober so she could begin an IV treatment the following month. Remarkably, she survived...

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What Do You Do?: A Tool for Understanding Yourself Better and Finding Your Unique Path in Life show art What Do You Do?: A Tool for Understanding Yourself Better and Finding Your Unique Path in Life

Andrew Petty is Dying

“What do you do?” We’re all familiar with that question. It comes up naturally when we meet someone for the first time in a social setting. Its usual purpose is to learn what someone does for a living to keep food on the table and a roof over their heads.  In this episode, however, we’ll REpurpose this old question in a new way to help you know yourself better and discern even more clearly the paths in life for which you’re uniquely made. It will become a new tool in your ongoing quest to live YOUR life with guts, gusto, and abandon.    My Answer to “What do you...

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Have Time, or Time Will Have You: Escape Regret and Create a Life You’re Proud Of show art Have Time, or Time Will Have You: Escape Regret and Create a Life You’re Proud Of

Andrew Petty is Dying

This episode is a wake-up call, a call to get back in the driver’s seat of your life, a call to become the boss of your most precious nonrenewable resource: Time.  Because if you don’t have time, Time will ultimately have you. And you won’t like the results.    Guilty as Charged How many times have we heard someone say, “I don’t have time,” or “If only I had more time,” or said something like that ourselves? I imagine we’ve all done it. I sure have.  If we’re honest, sometimes we trot out statements like these like badges of honor in an attempt to show...

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Rites of Passage: How Reviving Neglected Rituals Can Set You Free, with Amy Musson show art Rites of Passage: How Reviving Neglected Rituals Can Set You Free, with Amy Musson

Andrew Petty is Dying

What place do rites of passage have in your life?  In this episode, my special guest is MY coach Amy Musson, and we explore why rites of passage matter and the surprisingly harmful consequences of neglecting them. It turns out that there's more at stake than you might have thought--if you've ever given rites of passage much thought at all.  If you haven't given them much thought, then you're not alone. I think most of us in the materially affluent Western world today have largely neglected meaningful rites of passage. Emphasis on "materially affluent," by the way, because, as Amy and...

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The Making of The Alpinist's Marc-André Leclerc: A Transformational Conversation with Marc-André's Mom, Michelle Kuipers show art The Making of The Alpinist's Marc-André Leclerc: A Transformational Conversation with Marc-André's Mom, Michelle Kuipers

Andrew Petty is Dying

"If I've learned anything in the last three years, it's that life and death are so much bigger than us. You embraced life and love with all your amazing energy, which still reverberates. You are still with us on walks in the forest, on windy ridges, in a sunlit moment after the rain, in the love, laughter, and music of your friends and family. You are there in dreams that seem more real than waking moments. Everyday I think of you on your timeless flight. I love you with all my heart, and miss you more than words can say." Michelle Kuipers wrote this heartrending caption for an Instagram post...

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How To Make the Most of Today: A Simple Framework show art How To Make the Most of Today: A Simple Framework

Andrew Petty is Dying

How do we make the most of today? This episode is short and sweet, banged out somewhat hastily during the current season of curveballs I mentioned in the previous episode–but banged out with love and goodwill toward you, my fellow traveler along life’s winding path, you who are waking up to the reality of your Mortality and courageously embracing it to live with guts, gusto, and abandon.  So today I’m gonna give you what I’ve got and pray that it reaches the hearts of those who need it most. And what I’ve got is a simple framework for making the most of today–the only day...

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What to Do When Life Throws You a Curveball: Notes from the Field show art What to Do When Life Throws You a Curveball: Notes from the Field

Andrew Petty is Dying

What do we do when life throws us a curveball?  On this podcast, we’re equipping ourselves with the mindset and the means to live with guts, gusto, and abandon. Growing in our ability to respond to life’s inevitable curveballs requires both evolving our mindset and upgrading our means. And as we get better at responding to life’s curveballs, we increase our capacity to live with even more guts, gusto, and abandon.  In this episode, I’ll draw from my own recent experience to share with you what I’m learning in real-time about what to do when life throws us a curveball. ...

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Ignore at Your Own Risk: How Your Relationship with Death Affects Your Quality of Life, with Dr. Frederic Tate show art Ignore at Your Own Risk: How Your Relationship with Death Affects Your Quality of Life, with Dr. Frederic Tate

Andrew Petty is Dying

What is your relationship with Death?  It may seem like an odd question, but your answer to it has everything to do with your quality of life. My guest on this episode shares actionable insight into this relationship so that we can optimize our quality of life.    Introducing Dr. Frederic Tate Dr. Frederic Tate is a fascinating human with a perspective on Life and Death forged in the crucible of end-of-life care. A trusted friend connected us, so I knew Frederic was someone I should get to know. And I took an immediate shine to him from afar when I learned that he grew up in the...

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What Do You Want?: A Path to Purpose and Fulfillment, with Chris Slota show art What Do You Want?: A Path to Purpose and Fulfillment, with Chris Slota

Andrew Petty is Dying

What do you want?  It's a simple enough question at face value, but it can be far from easy to answer. Many of us have never truly tried to answer it. Many of us have never been aware that it was important to do so. And many of us are a lot better at knowing what we DON'T want.  Failing to answer this question can lead to surprisingly harmful consequences--but answering it can put us on a path to unprecedented purpose and fulfillment.  Don't just take my word for it, though. In this episode, my guest, Chris Slota, gives us unfiltered access to the remarkable personal...

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More Episodes

It's not a question of WHETHER we'll experience hardship and tragedy in Life; rather, it's a matter of when, what it'll be, and how we'll respond to it. 

When hardship and tragedy entered Erica Adams' life, she had a choice to remain a Victim or become a Victor. Her courageous choice to become a Victor has produced hard-won wisdom in Erica that all of us can benefit from. 

On this podcast, with Mortality in mind, my goal is to equip you with the mindset and the means to live with guts, gusto, and abandon. The determination to be a Victor rather than a Victim is one of the most important aspects of a mindset that will empower you to live that way. Erica's Story embodies the Victor spirit, and shows us how to embrace it ourselves.  

A word of warning before we go any farther: Erica's Story includes domestic abuse. She doesn't go into detail, but for some of you, this subject matter might hit especially close to home. I hope you'll tune in to the full episode because there's so much gold for all of us in Erica's Story, whether or not abuse is part of your experience.  But of course that's a decision you'll have to make for yourself. 

 

Meet Erica Adams

Erica Adams is a "mountain-raised, globally-inspired" CO native, mom, and entrepreneur. She started Mountain Girl Creative to create quality content that touches its reader. Her background as an artist and photographer with years of marketing and sales experience allows her to help businesses see the big picture. She started the Mountain Girl Creative blog to share her voice, insights, and experiences, express what matters to her, and help others grow, too. In Erica's own words, "it takes vulnerability, courage, and strength to share our journey, and I hope my lessons touch and inspire others."

 

Erica’s Story

Erica has had two experiences with domestic abuse, each at the hands of two different men. What began as loving, meaningful relationships gradually devolved into psychological manipulation and acts of violence upon her and her daughter. Erica doesn’t go into detail,  but she shares enough for us to appreciate how emotionally and physically destructive the abuse was. Her recounting of those chapters in her story sets the stage for sharing what she learned from the experiences--both about the origins and nature of domestic abuse and about herself. 

 

3 Lessons

Erica shared 3 big lessons she’s learned through her ordeals. In her own words:

  1. Get professional help, the earlier in life the better, so you become aware of negative patterns, tendencies you might have, dysfunction you need to acknowledge, and of course tools that help us not only to cope, but to make changes. 
  2. Don't settle for just surviving your life, whether it be in a marriage, a job, where you live, your health. If you're not living your best life, then work at making it what you want. Life is too short to play it so safe that you end up with too many should've's and not enough bravery to build a life you can be proud of.
  3. Sometimes you have to lose it all or start completely from scratch to find your passion. Whether it be sticking with life-consuming marketing jobs to long because it’s “safe” and a steady paycheck, but dreading going to work each day.

 

Other Takeaways

Embedded in Erica’s story are themes that I try to emphasize regularly on this show. 

  • Take responsibility for yourself. There’s always something we can do to improve our situation, even if we’ve truly been the victim of another’s ill-will. This mindset allows us to move from Victim to Victor, stay in our personal power, and find a way forward no matter the situation we’re in. 
  • Our Story and our Purpose in the world are inseparable. In Erica’s case, her ordeal led her to discover a passion for writing and a purpose for her Story. How is your Story pointing to your unique Purpose in the world in ways that you’re not yet acknowledging. 

Tune in to the full episode for all of the gold that Erica brings for taking responsibility for our own happiness. It’s a good ‘un!

 

The 2 Most Important Questions

Here are the two most important questions of this whole episode, so listen carefully: What stuck with you, and what are you going to do with it? Take a few slow, deep breaths, and search your heart and mind for your most truthful answers to those questions. What's bubbling up from within you? Now, write your answers down. Commit them to paper to make them just a bit more real, to increase your level of self-accountability just a bit more. Remember, it's not necessary or even always useful to take huge, sweeping action on your insight. Instead, commit to taking just the next step--whatever you're genuinely willing and able to do. Take one of those "micro actions" that Erica mentioned. Over time, consistent micro actions yield big results. 

Next, envision in your mind's eye the difference it will make if you actually do the thing you're considering doing as a result of listening to this episode. Be specific. How will your life and your world improve? 

Finally, invite the Mortality Mindset into the equation--the reality that you ARE going to die, and it could even be one day very soon. How does that reality influence your motivation to put your insights from this episode into action? 

"Tomorrow" never comes, my friends. 

Remember, you ARE going to die. But you’re not dead yet. So, like Erica, get after it!

 

I Can Help You Take Complete Responsibility for Your Own Happiness

A powerful, confidential 1-1 coaching partnership or participation in a Graveyard Group can help you live even more courageously and kill deathbed regrets. And the first-ever women's Graveyard Group is forming now. Connect with me to learn more. 

Find me on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedIn, visit my website, or email me. 

I’m so glad you tuned in today. Don’t forget to follow this show, and I’ll see you next time on Andrew Petty is Dying.

 

Connect with Erica

Email | Instagram | Facebook | LinkedIn | Twitter | Website | Blog | Google Business

 

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