Episode 241: Taylor's Gift Mom
Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom
Tara's teen daughter, Taylor was the kind of friend who made others feel like they were the most special person in the room. When Taylor tragically died in 2010 in a skiing accident, Tara says that the easiest decision that the family had to make was when they were asked, 'Your daughter is a beautiful candidate for organ donation; would you consider it?' They knew their loving, caring daughter would never hesitate to help others so they did not hesitate either. Tara wanted her daughter to be a gift to others. The family knew that by making this decision, they would be able to give total...
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Episode 240: Josh's Mom
Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom
I have a confession to make. This is a hard week for me. In three days, we will have to 'celebrate' Andy's 20th birthday. I have been thinking all week about what a 20-year-old Andy would be like. Would he have decided on a career path? Would he be dating a special girl? Would he still show some of his inner silliness? I'm sure that instead of me kissing the top of his head, he would be tall enough to kiss the top of mine. I'd like to think we would be headed out to visit him at college this weekend to make his birthday special. Of course, I will never know the answers to any of these...
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Episode 239: Randy's Dad
Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom
What is a miracle? Many people have told today's guest, Freddie, that his son, Randy, was a living miracle. Few would have argued that point. Randy was diagnosed with cancer at 4 1/2 years of age. After conventional chemotherapy and radiation failed to treat his tumor, the family was told that Randy had 6 months to live. They turned to NIH studies, but none of those treatments ever made it out of the stage of clinical trials. His grandfather prayed over him and even instructed Freddie to rub a Bible up and down his spine. Randy was cured by these faith healings again and again. The boy who...
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Episode 238: Blake S's Mom
Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom
When Sandy first contacted me after her son, Blake's death, I never imagined that less than 2 years later she would be sharing his story on the podcast. When Sandy wrote to me, it was only 6 weeks since Blake had died. The pain was palpable throughout her email. Her very last sentence to me read, 'This is the MOST excruciating pain ever!!' She was filled with anger toward the doctors who failed to diagnose Blake quickly enough and see just how sick he was. Sandy says that she was in a very dark place for over a year. She posted on social media about Blake, finding others to share her pain. She...
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Episode 237: Corban's Mom
Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom
Last July 4th weekend, I had the honor of going to a very sacred space with two bereaved moms, Dixie, and today's guest and dear friend, Michelle. We retraced the steps that Michele and her family took on that fateful day on July 4th, 2020 when Michelle lost her amazing 19-year-old son, Corban, who drowned in Lake Michigan. From the first steps walking along that trail, I knew that we were doing something very special. I could feel Corban, Parker, and Andy. I could feel God walking along beside us. In the first years after Andy died, whenever we dove past the accident site where Andy died, I...
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Episode 236: Grief & Feeling Out of Control
Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom
Recently, Gwen and I have been starting to struggle to find new topics to discuss on our Livestream episodes. Eric suggested doing an episode about how bereaved people can feel like life is out of control, especially early in grief. After Andy died, I felt like our whole world was spinning out of control. Life was suddenly going really fast and I just wanted things to slow down. The world was no longer a safe place for my family, and everything suddenly felt so scary. As the podcast episode started this week, however, I asked Eric why he picked this topic. His answer completely surprised me....
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Episode 235: Jake's Mom
Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom
We as grieving people often feel as if we are being judged by others. If I laugh or smile, will people think I am 'over' Andy's death? Will they think I don't care or think about him anymore? If people see me sad and crying, will they think that I should be doing better? Will they judge me and think that I should be able to keep my emotions in check? However, as much as we fear judgment from other people often we are the ones who are our biggest critics. We feel guilty if we laugh and smile. We feel shame when the tears come and emotions get out of control. When today's guest, Aleasha, talks...
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Episode 234: Chad's Mom
Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom
When Susan's 19-year-old son, Chad, died in September 2020 during the pandemic, it was an extremely isolating time, but she and her family were also completely exposed. Chad was a healthy, young athlete who died from an extremely rare neurological disease called Weston-Hurst syndrome. This horrific disease is rapidly progressive and most often fatal as it attacks the central nervous system. Its specific cause remains unknown, but it is triggered by a viral infection. In this case, Chad contracted COVID while at college. Now, this family was not only mourning the death of their beloved...
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Episode 233: Daniel's Mom
Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom
From the first minutes of listening to this week's podcast, you will feel an overwhelming sense of caring and compassion. While in middle school, Marisol's son, Daniel, went on a church trip to Niagra Falls and fell in love. Now, you might think that he fell in love with the beautiful waterfall, but it was the people who impacted Daniel. He saw that beyond tourism, there were people who were truly in need. Daniel felt a strong desire to help. While in high school, Daniel knew he wanted to leave his home state of Maryland and move to western New York to become a doctor. He found a program at...
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Episode 232: Luella's Mom
Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom
Today's guest, Carrie, and her husband Ben attended their first retreat for bereaved parents only two months after their toddler, Luella, died from bacterial pneumonia. They drove 10 hours from their home in central Illinois to in northern Wisconsin. Carrie said that it was the first time they had felt seen and held since Luella had died. The support they received was amazing and on that 10-hour drive home, Carrie and Ben decided they wanted to make their own retreats locally for people in their community. Their home was a large, beautiful cabin on 10 acres surrounded by trails and...
info_outlineLike many young boys, Luc loved sports. He loved playing soccer and baseball and like every good Canadian boy, Luc loved hockey. His mom, Lianne, says that she thinks what he really loved was being part of a team. He didn't enjoy having the spotlight himself, but he loved being a part of a team in which everyone had fun and shared the spotlight.
When Luc was diagnosed with leukemia at the age of 7, he really took it all in stride. He was always very upbeat and positive, just accepting that if he did what the doctors told him, he would be fine. Other kids at school called Luc a 'hero' after his diagnosis, but Luc never wanted to be a hero. He just wanted to be a regular kid, a quiet part of the team.
Unfortunately, that isn't what happened. Luc was special, but not in the way he would want to be. Luc was one of a few kids to get leukemia in Manitoba that year, then one of the few children to get a more aggressive type of cancer requiring additional treatment. He eventually became one of the few to have a recurrence and then, finally one of the far fewer children who die of cancer each year. It was like he kept winning the lottery no one would ever want to win.
Luc's mother, Lianne, is only 8 short months into her grief journey so it is so fresh and raw, but she still amazingly finds bits of gratitude in her life. She wants to continue to honor Luc by remembering his fun-loving, team oriented perspective. She recently participated in a fundraiser and was able to raise $20,000 for Cancer Care Manitoba. She called her little team 'Living for Luc,' and they had a great time having fun, playing different sports, laughing and truly experiencing life.
Lianne said to me, "There is life after loss and it is different and it is hard, and it is not always trampolines and laughing, but sometimes it can be, and that's OK." This may be one of the wisest statements about child loss I have ever heard. Such a powerful statement and so true - something we should all remember. Even in grief, we still live and we still need to do crazy, fun things like jump on a trampoline every once in a while.