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What It's Like to be Manic | Bipolar Disorder

Angus Eye Tea: Anxiety, Depression, And Other Cheerful Topics

Release Date: 03/10/2021

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More Episodes

Bipolar has its ups and downs, and today we’re going to talk about the up: manic. I used to cherish my manic episodes. I wasn’t sure what happened, but it was a miracle that my severe depression had broken and I finally was able to get things done AND do them really well. I had energy! I could clean the whole house. I could get ahead on my projects and hell, start some new ones while I was at it. I was social, witty, funny. My brain was back in action. I drank coffee and it made everything feel even better, so I drank more and more. At some point, the fun ran out and all that was left was anxiety. The same level of go-go-go energy was there, the same sleepless nights, the same brain jumping to a new thought every few seconds. 

In this episode, I go through my symptoms of manic and all the confusion that comes with it. Below, I’ve linked previous episodes that either indirectly talked about my bipolar or were recorded when I was or was about to be manic. What fun! Have a lovely week, Heifers.

Moo,

Elaine

Want to support Angus Eye Tea? Check out my Patreon at www.patreon.com/anguseyetea with tiers starting as low as $1!

TIMESTAMPS

00:00 The hype begins.

1:17 Explaining the basics of manic/hypomanic episodes. I’ll be using “manic” as the main term for the remainder of the episode.

3:22 Examples of times I panicked on the podcast, as well as episodes that were directly about me being bipolar but I talked around it because I hadn’t unleashed that revelation yet!

Episodes that were secretly bipolar related:

9:21 What are my manic symptoms? First up: talking fast.

12:51 Racing thoughts are fun, aren’t they? SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK.

15:27 Caffeine abuse and cleaning up my act so I didn’t have to go through another medication change.

19:32 Brain is only on one setting: GO, GO, GO. Which means that once the happy drains away, anxiety picks up and moves at the same speed. Everything becomes explosive.

22:35 Those are my main symptoms, and as a reminder, this would go on for a few days, not just for an hour. I used to wake up and wait for a beat to see what kind of day I would have: happy and joyous? Extremely anxious? Super depressed?

23:33 Why it’s easy to love my manic episodes and how it’s hard to try to quell it.

26:23 Overall feelings of my manic. A question I have to ask myself a lot these days, am I happy and excited? Or am I manic? I don’t always know the answer.

30:13 SHOUT OUT TO MY PATRONS: KT and Oti from For Your Reference pod, Laura, Taylor from Who Knows? pod, Rachel, and Vanessa from Fabled pod! 

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If you enjoy this podcast, please consider giving it a review! It also is incredibly helpful for me to hear what is resonating with you, so feel free to DM me!

You can find the show notes for this episode at www.anguseyetea.com

Follow me on Insta and Twitter @AngusEyeTea.

Email: [email protected]

I am not a health professional. I am simply someone who was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Please talk to your friends, family, teachers, doctor, trusted human, etc. if you need help. I also have a resources page on my website that can direct you to different hotlines, therapy websites, and more at https://anguseyetea.com/resources/