How To Have A Thriving Relationship with a 4 | Ep. 388

We are continuing our Enneagram Series with Beth McCord talking about How to Have A Thriving Relationship with an Enneagram 4. For the next several weeks Beth will be breaking down some real, practical tips for being married to each Enneagram number. 

 

If you are married to a 4 this is YOUR episode. But even if you aren’t married to a 4, we know you will find this episode helpful in learning more about your 4 friends. Part of loving people is knowing people. So use this series as a tool to know your people better, understand them deeper, and love them better. 

 

Beth McCord founded ‘Your Enneagram Coach’ and has been an Enneagram speaker, coach and teacher for over 17 years. She is seriously the best of the best so we are so blessed to have her share her time and expertise with us. 

 

Having been trained by the best Enneagram experts and pouring hundreds of hours into advanced certifications, Beth is leading the industry in simplifying the deep truths of the Enneagram from a Biblical perspective. Beth does one-on-one coaching, in-person events and workshops and online courses. She also offers training and support for those interested in becoming an Enneagram coach. So make sure you give her a follow on Instagram @yourennegramcoach and check out her website yourennegramcoach.com for more great info. 

 

We pray you enjoy learning more about 4s in this episode! 

 

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*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here! 

 

NOTEWORTHY QUOTES

• “The core fear for a Type 4 is fear of being inadequate, ordinary, or insignificant.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 4s desire to be unique, special, and to present that uniqueness to the world.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 4s feel like there is something tragically missing or flawed about them and others can’t love them unless they’re whole and complete.” - Beth v
• “Type 4s struggle with envy.” - Beth McCord
• “The core longing of a Type 4 is to hear ‘you are loved and seen for the special and unique person that you are.’” - Beth McCord
• “Type 4s often feel misunderstood and like there’s something wrong with them.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 4s are very empathetic and great listeners, especially to those who are suffering.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 4s experience all of the emotions and it’s important to them that they know what they are feeling.” - Beth McCord
• “If a Type 4 is struggling, their emotions can overwhelm them like a tsunami. This can lead them to be moody and explosive or cold and detached.” - Beth McCord
• “The melancholy of Type 4s is often called the sweet sadness of the soul.” - Beth McCord
• “Never ask a Type 4 to act like something they’re not.” - Beth McCord
• “A lot of Type 4s stay off of social media because it is hard for them to not envy what others have.” - Beth McCord
• “It is very hard for a Type 4s contributions and view points to not be valued.” - Beth McCord
• “When in conflict with a Type 4, do not ask them why they are being so emotional.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 4s want to express themselves, they don’t want you to fix the problem unless they ask for that specifically.” - Beth McCord
• “Let your Type 4 express their emotions and process them in a safe environment.” - Beth McCord
• “Don’t tell your Type 4 that they’re too sensitive or that they’re overreacting.” - Beth McCord
• “The message that Type 4s got as a child or were hardwired with is that they are either too much or not enough.” - Beth McCord
• “Whatever a Type 4 thinks another person is feeling they will interpret as actually being true.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 4s can be reactive and withdrawing in conflict.” - Beth McCord
• “Ask your Type 4 to help you understand what they are thinking and feeling.” - Beth McCord
• “We all need to ask clarifying questions of those we love, we can’t assume we know what they’re thinking and feeling.” - Beth McCord
• “You might not understand exactly what your Type 4 is feeling but you do understand fear and sorrow and that can help you empathize with them.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 4s are self aware, introspective and creative.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 4s find beauty in the fact that God created everyone differently.” - Beth McCord

 

SPONSORS

 

• Thank you to Honoring Intimates for sponsoring this podcast episode! Honoring Intimates is a safe place for believers to learn about marital sex and shop for the highest quality lubricant, lotions, and lingerie items at reasonable prices. There are no inappropriate images on the site and the company uses mannequins to display their lingerie. Use the code “AWESOMEMARRIAGE” to receive 20% off your entire order. 

 

RESOURCES

• Find everything you need at becomingus.com! Including the course for YOUR marriage’s Enneagram combination. Beth & Jeff have a ‘Becoming Us Course’ for each couple type combination. That is 45 courses customized for each couple type combination. They go deeper into the “dance” (relational dynamics) and give you practical resources and insights to help transform your marriage. 
• Buy ‘Becoming Us’ today! 
• Not sure what your Enneagram Type is? You can take the free assessment here! Also be sure to take the FREE MARRIAGE ASSESSMENT here. 
• Learn more about each type with this FREE SUMMARY! 
• Check out more great insights by Beth on her blog. 
• Discover your Enneagram number with the Discovering You course. Already know your Enneagram Type? Then it’s time to take a deeper dive with the Explore You course. 
• You can get some one-on-one coaching with Your Enneagram Coach here. 
• Want to talk about sex?! Take our Love Making Survey to open up the way for you and your spouse to work towards better sex and intimacy in marriage! This month’s resource is our Love Making Survey and it is designed to help you have a safe, genuine conversation about your sex life with your spouse. This survey is a nonthreatening way to evaluate your sex together. The questions are designed to get you thinking about all aspects of your love making and to shed light on ways your sex could be more satisfying.
• Become a Marriage Changer and receive some sweet exclusive benefits. Learn more here!
• Sign up to get Dr. Kim’s One Thing To Grow Your Marriage Each Day via email, text, or podcast here!