4071 Avoidance and Aggression are Easy Traps
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
Release Date: 05/23/2026
4071 Avoidance and Aggression are Easy Traps
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
Marriage isn’t about sweeping the tough stuff under the rug or launching into battle every time conflict hits. It hinges on something far tougher and far rarer—reflection. Avoidance and aggression are easy traps, but neither leads to growth or connection. Let’s be real. Life is messy. Hard days come; hard moments happen. The question isn’t how fast you move past them, but how deeply you understand them. Desire to be supported and encouraged by other like-minded women? Join us at the . In marriage, moving on too quickly without unpacking what just happened is like trying to cross a...
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4070 What You Tolerate Thrives
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
Parenthood is relentless. Between work, errands, and the endless to-do list, it often feels easier to let certain behaviors slide. You’re tired. You’re overwhelmed. You tell yourself, “I’ll deal with this later,” or “It’s not worth the fight right now.” But here’s the truth no one speaks about: what you tolerate thrives. If you let a frustrating behavior go unchecked today, it won’t disappear—it will grow. Desire to be supported and encouraged by other like-minded women? Join us at the . Giving in to convenience is setting both your child and yourself up for bigger...
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4069 Chase What Gives You Energy
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
Life isn’t supposed to be a maze filled with endless dead ends and detours manufactured by our own doubts. Yet somehow, we complicate it—drowning ourselves in what drains us, throwing our dreams out with the bathwater. Why? To prove a point? To someone else? Or worse, to ourselves? That’s nonsense. It’s time to stop selling yourself short. Chase what gives you energy. You are made for more! So don't settle for less. Desire to be supported and encouraged by other like-minded women? Join us at the . Every morning you rise is an opportunity: to live intentionally, pursuing a life that...
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4068 Hand Over the Hard Things
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
How many of your days slip by, weighed down by the burden of trying to do it all alone? You try to do more, be more, fix more. You push your own limits until your energy is spent carrying everyone else’s load. But life isn’t meant for you to be the hero in every story, every single day. The endless expectations, the silent assumptions, and the mounting to-do lists can bury you faster than you can breathe. So why not hand over the hard things? THOUGHTS: What if, instead of tightening your grip, you made a deliberate choice to hand over the hard things? Desire to be supported and encouraged...
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4067 Choose Response Over Reaction
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
Caught in the middle of stress, most of us default to managing what’s wrong—what’s lacking. Deadlines pile up, relationships strain, plans wobble, and suddenly, something breaks. Instinctively, we react. We snap, we judge, we retreat, or we lash out. Reacting feels fast, even necessary; it’s the path of least resistance when pressure mounts. But the better path is to choose response over reaction. Because reacting won’t get you where you want to go. Reacting keeps you stuck in the same loop, spinning your wheels on what’s failing, what’s missing, what’s falling short. It’s a...
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4066 The Power of Enough
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
The world has a relentless way of convincing us there’s never enough—never enough success, status, money, or recognition. The narrative is clear: climb to the top at all costs, outpace everyone else, even if it means sacrificing who you are. Cut corners. Hustle harder. Get there faster. The power of enough doesn't come from your achievements, goals, and to-do lists. But here’s the truth nobody likes to ask: When you finally get there, will it really be enough? Desire to be supported and encouraged by other like-minded women? Join us at the . What if the real power isn’t in what you...
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4065 Big Faith, Big Heart!
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
Faith isn’t a fuzzy feeling or wishful thinking. Faith is a bold conviction rooted deep in what we hope for, anchored firmly in what we cannot yet see. But how can big faith, big heart exist without big hope? Without hope, faith crumbles into empty optimism at best or cynical skepticism at worst. Desire to be supported and encouraged by other like-minded women? Join us at the . Life has a way of clouding the truth. Trials, doubts, and the noise of this world often drown out the quiet voice of God’s promises. If you claim the Bible is the truth, then the real question is this: how...
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4064 What If The Problem Isn't Your Spouse?
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
When tensions escalate, and all you feel is defensive, it's easy to point fingers rather than look in the mirror. Marriage takes intentional decisions with love at the root of all actions. But what if the problem isn't your spouse? Maybe what’s missing or what’s blocking your marriage from thriving is something inside of you. Marriage isn’t a passive ride. It’s an ongoing, intentional commitment that demands honest work, with love as the foundation for every decision and action. Desire to be supported and encouraged by other like-minded women? Join us at the . And that means owning...
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4063 Opening Doors for What Comes Next
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
Raising incredible children means more than just meeting today’s needs—it’s about paving a path and opening doors for what comes next. When you consistently blend unconditional love sprinkled with discipline and resilience, you’re not just shaping behavior; you’re cultivating purpose. Think about it: You’re opening doors for your child to step confidently into every season of life ahead. Desire to be supported and encouraged by other like-minded women? Join us at the . Imagine your child living fully as the person God created them to be. This vision doesn’t just happen. It...
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4062 Impossible No More
Create Your Now with Kristianne Wargo
Rarely does life follow the script we write in our heads. Plans derail, obstacles pop up, and sometimes it feels like someone or something is playing a twisted joke just to test how much you can take. But here’s the thing: you’re letting the challenges tell a story that isn’t true. Impossible is just a word, not a fact. Impossible no more. Most days, things won’t go the way you planned—and that’s exactly where the opportunity lives. Desire to be supported and encouraged by other like-minded women? Join us at the . You want to talk blessings? They don’t come wrapped in neat,...
info_outlineMarriage isn’t about sweeping the tough stuff under the rug or launching into battle every time conflict hits. It hinges on something far tougher and far rarer—reflection. Avoidance and aggression are easy traps, but neither leads to growth or connection.
Let’s be real. Life is messy. Hard days come; hard moments happen. The question isn’t how fast you move past them, but how deeply you understand them.
Desire to be supported and encouraged by other like-minded women? Join us at the Kairos FREE Online Community. https://createyournow.com
In marriage, moving on too quickly without unpacking what just happened is like trying to cross a river without checking if the bridge holds. You might land on shaky ground—and build walls you didn’t realize were there.
Picture these walls as Lego bricks—each one a barrier made of hurt, disappointment, or silence. Maybe you’ve built walls because you felt attacked, or maybe you built them because you chose avoidance as the “peaceful” route. Neither is working. Avoidance piles on just as much as aggression. Behind every “I’m not going to deal with this” is a denial of opportunity—for insight, for connection, for healing.
DEEP THOUGHTS: Marriage asks you to be one person and yet somehow become a team. Sounds contradictory? It doesn’t have to be. You’re already who you are. Becoming a team doesn’t mean losing yourself—it means being who you were meant to be, with your spouse pushing you to grow, not tearing you down. It’s a mutual journey toward better versions of yourselves through honest, sometimes uncomfortable conversations.
Now, what happens if all you do is avoid or attack? You don’t get a marriage; you get a series of barricades. What kind of partnership can stand on shaky walls crafted from silence or blame? Spoiler alert: it cracks.
So if you want a foundation that can withstand any storms, you've gotta bust the walls down.
The K.I.S.S. ~ Bust the walls down!
And that comes from reflection and understanding, not avoidance and aggression.
So how do you stop stacking Legos and start dismantling walls? How do you take the difficult moments and turn them into breakthroughs for your marriage? Here are three game-changers every spouse can start doing right now:
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Be present without judgment.
Drop the urge to jump in with fixes or defenses. Listen to understand—not to respond or react. When your partner feels truly seen and heard, you create a space for vulnerability that’s essential for trust and healing. -
Ask clarifying questions and restate what you heard.
This isn’t about interrogation—it’s about connection. Confirming what you heard reduces assumptions and shows your partner you’re engaged and care enough to get it right. Because if they don't get it, you get to repeat it. And if you didn't get it, they get to repeat it. -
Respond with empathy and a shared goal.
Acknowledge the hurt without minimizing it. Share your feelings too, not as attacks but as honest insights. Then focus on moving forward together—because marriage isn’t a solo climb; it’s a tandem trek.
Reflection means facing discomfort. It’s easier to avoid or lash out, but neither builds a foundation. If you want a marriage that lasts, one that grows through hard moments rather than collapses under them, make reflection your habit.
Walls made from avoidance or aggression keep you apart. Reflection—real listening, real empathy, real teamwork—pulls you closer. That’s the difference between a house of bricks and a home of love.
So what will you build today?
"Be present. Be incredible. Be YOU!!!"
#RelationshipBuilders #CreateYourNow #LoveAndMarriage
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Cover Art by Jenny Hamson
Photo by Canva.com
Music by Mandisa - Overcomer
http://www.mandisaofficial.com
Song ID: 68209
Song Title: Overcomer
Writer(s): Ben Glover, Chris Stevens, David Garcia
Copyright © 2013 Meaux Mercy (BMI) Moody Producer Music (BMI)
One Songs (ASCAP) Ariose Music (ASCAP) Universal Music -
Brentwood Benson Publ. (ASCAP) D Soul Music (ASCAP) (adm. at CapitolCMGPublishing.com) All rights reserved. Used by permission.