Delight Your Marriage
Maybe you're in the midst of a really tough season. It feels like you're alone and barely keeping your head above water. Marriage woes can be the most stressful aspect of a person's life. I want to encourage you that your suffering matters. I was walking through a museum with my son the other day, and a painting depicted a martyr who was tortured for his faith. It was a moment that helped me reflect on the importance of my suffering every day. If a moment like that occurred, where I would have to make a choice between Jesus and comfort... I...
info_outline 422-Compassion Fatigue. Interview with Kevin BueltmannDelight Your Marriage
If you're a pastor or are shepherded by a pastor, it is important to know that the work of the pastor is hard and can have a deep impact on the leader of such work. In this episode, we explore the emotional and psychological cost of deeply caring for others. In today's episode, we delve into compassion fatigue, its causes, and the impact it has on individuals in helping professions. Here's what you'll learn: What is compassion fatigue and how does it differ from burnout? Professions most susceptible to compassion fatigue. Warning signs and symptoms to watch out for. ...
info_outline 363-Take Responsibility, Change & THAT Creates Real Intimacy. Mick's Transformation Story (Rerelease)Delight Your Marriage
I pulled out a fan-favorite episode to share today! If you haven't heard it, you don't want to miss this story. It'll encourage you. -- Mick is a dynamic, charismatic, but also a tell-it-straight kinda guy. When his marriage was shallow in terms of connection, emotionally and intimately, he jumped at an opportunity that he discerned understood him as a man and also had a proven track record for change. After taking responsibility, the MAIN change was his heart. He shares some particulars on why that was so vital in the outward changes of his marriage. But, he began to realize who God...
info_outline 421-Be Your Spouse's ServantDelight Your Marriage
Maybe you don't really understand what "servant" means in relation to your spouse. Let's explore that together on our podcast today. Be your spouse's servant. That's Jesus' way. If we believe what He said, this should not offend us but teach us how to live. Mark 10:45: "For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve..." Matthew 20:26b-28 "whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave— just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve," Matthew 23:11-12: "The...
info_outline 420-Argument vs. ClarificationDelight Your Marriage
If you've been around for a while, you may have heard that we say you must have "0 arguments" in your marriage. "But that's not normal." "But that's not healthy." "But that means someone is not being honest." Well, firstly, it's not my rule. Among many other verses, let's look at Romans 1:29, 30, 32; 2:1, 2. “They have become filled with every kind of wickedness... murder, strife... gossips... arrogant and boastful..." "Although they know God’s righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of...
info_outline 419-Half Truths Can Destory More than LiesDelight Your Marriage
The definition of a half-truth is "a statement that conveys only part of the truth, especially one used deliberately in order to deceive someone." I don't know that anyone who says these half-truths is INTENTIONALLY choosing to deceive someone. I'd prefer to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. However, we must look at these beliefs and discern if they are scripturally based. Certainly, the enemy has deliberately used them to deceive and wreak horrific tragedies in marriages and families. Unfortunately, half-truths are more slippery and harder to discern than outright (obvious) lies....
info_outline 311-Intimacy and the Gospel (Re-release)Delight Your Marriage
(This is a re-release from previously.) I used to be so weirded out by sex because I was pursuing Jesus with everything. How could my life be sold out for Christ and have to engage in such carnal behavior? Then God opened my eyes to quite a lot. I hope you’ll listen to today’s podcast with an open heart and willingness to let Him reveal His true design and desire for you in your marriage. Love & Blessings, Belah PS – We'd love to help with your marriage/intimacy please set up a call with a Clarity Advisor to see how we can help:
info_outline 418-Appreciate Your Spouse's UniquenessDelight Your Marriage
"We're just so different." "We have nothing in common." "Our personalities are not compatible." This is a big problem in marriages. People notice differences and assume it's a bad thing. This is understandable...but very wrong. God, in His amazing creativity, designed your spouse and you differently. He also made a deer look differently than an alligator. He made a duck's personality differently than an anaconda's. He made the octopus loners, but curious, and the ant disciplined, but incredibly collaborative. Why do we assume and expect God to make...
info_outline 417-Resensitize Your Pleasure (for PIED, Low Drive & Hi Drive folk)Delight Your Marriage
"Why can't I be fulfilled by what I SHOULD be able to?" -Higher-drive men, Higher-drive women "Why can't I get aroused by what I SHOULD be able to?" -Lower-drive women, PI/ED men I want to invite you to consider what brings you pleasure. I want you to consider what causes you to ENJOY life. At Delight Your Marriage we focus a lot of intimacy. (And this episode does too). God has designed sex to be a way to receive pleasure. But is it God's only way for you to receive pleasure in this amazing world? Did Jesus receive pleasure in this world? (Even without...
info_outline 416-Increased Desire (Asexual is/not a Thing?) Sarah's Transformation StoryDelight Your Marriage
Many of our wife listeners have lower drives than their husbands. (I hear you!) And that’s just the way it is. Nothing to be done, just deal with it. Also, if they’re like I have been, since she has a lower sex drive she just has to put up with the requirement of her to make love even though she’s less than enthusiastic about it because she has to have sex and can’t do the things she really wants to be doing. Or sometimes avoids it altogether. I have been there. And so has Sarah. She and I both have high drive husbands. And we both...
info_outlineHow do you become MORE attractive to your wife?
What exactly do I mean when I say "attraction"?
Well, it's kind of like having a pull towards yourself. Whatever it is that you're doing, it's going to pull her and cause her to desire you. When you're attractive to her, she'll also have a physical desire towards you.
What can you do as a spouse to cause her to be interested again? To be FULLY in the marriage again?
My theory? Attraction works outside of marriage like this:
You are a whole human being with your own passions and desires and she starts being drawn to your power and confidence. Slowly, through time, you BOTH start to fall in love.
It's simple:
Chemistry (natural attraction) + spending time with each other = being attracted to someone
We'll be attracted to different types of people our whole lives. It's up to us as married people to not spend time with others.
So how do you become the whole man that you want to be?
- By desperately seeking her love?
- By wishing to spend more time with her?
This is the kind of work that I do with the men that I work with in The Masculinity Reclaimed program. If you want to get tailored advice and deep insight into your own marriage, you can do so by scheduling a call at www.dym.as.me.
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Belah's book---Delight Your Husband: A Christian wife's manual to passion, confidence and oral sex---may be the tool God would use to bring light and joy to your marriage bed.
If you're at a place of desire for change in intimacy in your marriage--men or women--consider signing up for a free Clarity Call ($500 value!) where you and Belah will dive deep into what's going on in your marriage and help you uncover what is blocking amazing intimacy! From couples that hadn't made love in years to couples who were in an affair--God has brought passion, healing and fun to these marriages!
She's currently offering this 40min Clarity Call opportunity to podcast listeners for free! Schedule here.