Good Girls Talk About Sex
Leah shares a coaching session with client Caitlin to give us an in-depth experience of what coaching looks and feels like. They focus on Caitlin’s newly-discovered attraction to women.
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Stephanie shares how childhood shame led to an eating disorder, which had a profound affect on her ability to relate with her sexuality and her sexual partners.
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Dr. Evelin Dacker returns to answer a listener’s question about common and chronic UTI’s that occur after sex. She breaks down the how and why, and addresses prevention and treatment.
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“Deaf U” star Alexa Paulay-Simmons gets candid about who she is (and always has been) as a sexual person, and how that’s shaped her life.
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Hey friends, You’ll notice this isn’t the regular episode you were expecting! The regular episode was loaded into the feed, and some of you may have already downloaded and listened to it. However, I made an error in the production of this episode so, in fairness to our guest, I’ve pulled the episode to fix it. Here’s what happened – Our guest, Alexa, is Deaf and we did the interview through an interpreter. It was my first time ever doing an interview through an interpreter, so it took me a little time to relax into it. What didn’t occur to me was to send the transcript...
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Leah gets real about how her intimate life has weathered the pandemic, and how confronting her partner’s depression spiral turned out to be a better strategy—for both of them—than enduring it.
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Debbie was formed by experiences of both pleasure and pain. She was blessed with good early relationships, but also is a survivor of the epidemic of sexual abuse in elite women’s sport. Her faith in herself helped her choose to heal.
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STARS is an easy-to-remember acronym for conversations that lead to awesome consensual sex.
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Lachlan was born with a vagina. His is the story of how a boy learned to be a girl, then learned to be invisible, then a lesbian, before learning that he could just be who he was all along, except that it’s still … complicated.
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What kind of touch do you enjoy? Have you thought about the ways, and places? Touch is a many-splendored thing.
info_outlineMaya was born in the Sudan and came to the United States at age 6. She shares the frustrations she’s had around religion and how it affected her sexuality, the way she used sex in her early life to fill an emotional void, and the pleasure she has finally found with her husband.
Maya is a 30-year-old, cis-gender female who describes herself as mixed race (black and white), heteroflexible, married, monogamous with the possibility of some monogamish play, with a young daughter. She was born in the Sudan and came to the United States at age 6. She was brought up Muslim and describes her body as tall and thicc.
Here are some of the notable moments she shared with us:
- 2:40 – As a girl, Maya thought sexuality was perverted and made fun of it with friends
- 6:00 - Growing up in an Islamic household where sex was a sin, and she wasn’t allowed to date
- 8:30 - Maya describes being chaperoned by her mom on a date to the movies (but her brother was allowed to date without chaperone)
- 10:52 - Losing her virginity at 19 to a senior in college
- 16:45 - Her “first love” was a typical bad boy.
- 20:00 – The way Maya used sex during a deep depression – needing the attention to feel desired and feel better about herself.
- 22:30 – A boss who paid her for sexy play
- 25:50 – The impact Osho’s book “Sex Matters” had on her view of sex and religion
- 27:44 - How her appearance (being tall and “thicc”) differs in desirability/impact on black vs white men—and how she only dates black men.
- 29:37 - Her husband is the first person she’s with who prioritizes her pleasure and it’s disconcerting.
- 31:31 – Contemplating a threesome with her husband and another woman, and the nerves she has about the idea
- 34:40 – The reasons sex has slowed down since Maya married her husband – not just having a child, but also their deep beliefs about sex and the role it should have in marriage
The Lowdown (37:27)
- What belief did you have about sex as a child or a young woman that you wish you could correct her on now?
A lot of people are under financial strain right now, so I’m making all the Patreon extras available for free to everyone. Thank you to community members who continue to show your support through this hard time. The Patreon extras for this episode are:
- A deeper dive into Maya’s experience of depression, and how losing her identity as an athlete in college was a big driver
- Maya talks more about her “lesbian phase”
- The extended Lowdown Q&A
Resources mentioned:
- “Sex Matters” by Osho - Osho is a complicated figure – he is still revered by some for his insights into sexual energy and relaxing attitudes toward human sexuality. However he has also been accused of sexual impropriety and abuse by many of his followers. I am not one to throw the baby out with the bathwater, however, so I’m providing this resource for those who may find it helpful while also encouraging you to do some further reading of the full context of Osho’s teachings.
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Host – Leah Carey (website, Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, email)
Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby
Music – Nazar Rybak