Road Trips and Sex Without Shame
Good Girls Talk About Sex
In this Pop Culture Pillow Talk, I talk with pop culture critic Kristen Meinzer about two great movies: Joy Ride Plan B You can find Kristen at: Become a client: Support the show: Full show notes:
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Bonus quickie
Good Girls Talk About Sex
Plan B - Joy Ride - Become a client: Apply for a free coaching session: Support the show:
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Find the red flags! - Coaching Sophilia
Good Girls Talk About Sex
In this coaching episode, Sophilia asks: why does she keep ending up in relationships where things don’t feel right, and the entire weight of making it better falls on her? Leah works with Sophilia to: understand the red flags for this type of relationship, the communication skills that will help screen them out, rethink her own experience of being turned on. Sophilia is a 39-year-old, cisgender woman. She describes herself as queer, single, and multi-racial with a white mother and Black father. In the past she’s been in monogamous relationships, but currently prefers the idea of being...
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When the man teaching consent is the one violating you
Good Girls Talk About Sex
Last year I found myself in the middle of a shitstorm for daring to expose a community leader's abusive behavior. Today I tell the whole story. The backlash was immediate and intense, with DARVO (Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender) tactics used to paint me as the problem. Suddenly, I was not just standing as a representative of this man’s abuse, but also receiving harassment and ostracization from those I once considered my community. Sharing this story isn't just about telling you what’s going on; it's about shining a light on the dark corners of abuse and systemic failure....
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Pop Culture Pillow Talk: Starstruck on HBO
Good Girls Talk About Sex
What happens when your brain is so busy it can't slow down to enjoy having sexy time with the cute guy who's totally into you? In today's episode, we break down the first two episodes of the HBO show Starstruck with teen sex and relationship educator Julia Sheldon (who also happens to be Leah's dear friend.) We focus on lead character Jessie and how overthinking gets in the way of being present. Upcoming Beyond Permission class schedule: Thursday, Feb. 22 - Embracing your inner MILF with Danielle Tuesday, Feb. 27 - Dating at midlife with Leah Tuesday, March 5 - Sex toys show & tell...
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Having the best sex of my life at 63 - Debbie
Good Girls Talk About Sex
In this coaching/storytelling episode, Debbie talks about having the best sex of her life at age 63. Her question: Is that usual? While Debbie has always been multi-orgasmic, now she's having dozens of orgasms in a single sex session. And the connection with her new husband is a big part of the reason. Debbie is a 63 year old cisgender woman. She describes herself as white, heterosexual, monogamous, married. She describes her body as slender and athletic. And don't forget: the BEYOND PERMISSION workshop starts next week! Use coupon code "beyond20" to join us! BEYOND PERMISSION workshop...
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Why don't you want to have sex with me?
Good Girls Talk About Sex
Togetherness is an HBO show that explores the challenges of maintaining a healthy and active sex life in a long-term relationship with small children. In today's episode, Danielle Silverstein from the popular Marriage and Martinis podcast joins Leah to discuss the first two episodes of the show. They dive into the complexities of sexual fulfillment, gender roles, expectations and resentments. Join us for a deep, thought-provoking, and insightful conversation about challenges of maintaining intimacy in a long-term relationship. BEYOND PERMISSION workshop (use code "beyond20" for $20 off...
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Navigating the sex talk demons
Good Girls Talk About Sex
Leah joins Danielle of Marriage & Martinis to talk about why Danielle's conversation with her husband about intimacy and pleasure was explosive and chaotic. Leah breaks down what we need to remember during these very tough conversations: we’ve been conditioned differently from the time we’re very young, and are often simply adhering to the roles we’ve been instructed to fulfill. They talk about why we can’t always trust our bodies’ physical responses during intimacy, games that can be played in lieu of telling our partner, “we’re not satisfied” as means to get a...
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I wish they would SLOW DOWN - Coaching Maria
Good Girls Talk About Sex
In this coaching episode, Maria asks the age old question: why is it so hard to ask for what I want?! She's convinced that her problem is in poor communication skills, but it doesn't take long to discover that the issue lies in a complete different area. Leah works with Maria to: understand how gender dynamics are creating friction in the "what do you want?" conversation, rethink how her definition of "sex" makes asking so difficult, practice the way she'd like to initiate a conversation about sex with potential partners. Maria is a 27-year-old cisgender woman. She describes herself as...
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Leah faces an identity crisis
Good Girls Talk About Sex
Leah delves into a deeply personal topic: how trauma and mental health have impacted her ability to show up authentically. She talks about the impact her demanding, charismatic father had on her psyche and sense of safety. In admitting her fear of being viewed as not good enough or too much like their father, Leah discusses the creation of a performative persona and the desire to shift to a more authentic voice. Who Is Your Sex & Relationship Alter Ego? Work with Leah: Apply for a free coaching session: Support the show: Full show notes:
info_outlineMaya was born in the Sudan and came to the United States at age 6. She shares the frustrations she’s had around religion and how it affected her sexuality, the way she used sex in her early life to fill an emotional void, and the pleasure she has finally found with her husband.
Maya is a 30-year-old, cis-gender female who describes herself as mixed race (black and white), heteroflexible, married, monogamous with the possibility of some monogamish play, with a young daughter. She was born in the Sudan and came to the United States at age 6. She was brought up Muslim and describes her body as tall and thicc.
Here are some of the notable moments she shared with us:
- 2:40 – As a girl, Maya thought sexuality was perverted and made fun of it with friends
- 6:00 - Growing up in an Islamic household where sex was a sin, and she wasn’t allowed to date
- 8:30 - Maya describes being chaperoned by her mom on a date to the movies (but her brother was allowed to date without chaperone)
- 10:52 - Losing her virginity at 19 to a senior in college
- 16:45 - Her “first love” was a typical bad boy.
- 20:00 – The way Maya used sex during a deep depression – needing the attention to feel desired and feel better about herself.
- 22:30 – A boss who paid her for sexy play
- 25:50 – The impact Osho’s book “Sex Matters” had on her view of sex and religion
- 27:44 - How her appearance (being tall and “thicc”) differs in desirability/impact on black vs white men—and how she only dates black men.
- 29:37 - Her husband is the first person she’s with who prioritizes her pleasure and it’s disconcerting.
- 31:31 – Contemplating a threesome with her husband and another woman, and the nerves she has about the idea
- 34:40 – The reasons sex has slowed down since Maya married her husband – not just having a child, but also their deep beliefs about sex and the role it should have in marriage
The Lowdown (37:27)
- What belief did you have about sex as a child or a young woman that you wish you could correct her on now?
A lot of people are under financial strain right now, so I’m making all the Patreon extras available for free to everyone. Thank you to community members who continue to show your support through this hard time. The Patreon extras for this episode are:
- A deeper dive into Maya’s experience of depression, and how losing her identity as an athlete in college was a big driver
- Maya talks more about her “lesbian phase”
- The extended Lowdown Q&A
Resources mentioned:
- “Sex Matters” by Osho - Osho is a complicated figure – he is still revered by some for his insights into sexual energy and relaxing attitudes toward human sexuality. However he has also been accused of sexual impropriety and abuse by many of his followers. I am not one to throw the baby out with the bathwater, however, so I’m providing this resource for those who may find it helpful while also encouraging you to do some further reading of the full context of Osho’s teachings.
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Host – Leah Carey (website, Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, email)
Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby
Music – Nazar Rybak