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I had no idea what a vagina looked like - Mel

Good Girls Talk About Sex

Release Date: 08/06/2020

I think I had a crush on a woman - Coaching Caitlin show art I think I had a crush on a woman - Coaching Caitlin

Good Girls Talk About Sex

Leah shares a coaching session with client Caitlin to give us an in-depth experience of what coaching looks and feels like. They focus on Caitlin’s newly-discovered attraction to women.

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Good Girls Talk About Sex

Stephanie shares how childhood shame led to an eating disorder, which had a profound affect on her ability to relate with her sexuality and her sexual partners.

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Good Girls Talk About Sex

Dr. Evelin Dacker returns to answer a listener’s question about common and chronic UTI’s that occur after sex. She breaks down the how and why, and addresses prevention and treatment.

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Good Girls Talk About Sex

“Deaf U” star Alexa Paulay-Simmons gets candid about who she is (and always has been) as a sexual person, and how that’s shaped her life.

An error in translation show art An error in translation

Good Girls Talk About Sex

Hey friends, You’ll notice this isn’t the regular episode you were expecting!  The regular episode was loaded into the feed, and some of you may have already downloaded and listened to it. However, I made an error in the production of this episode so, in fairness to our guest, I’ve pulled the episode to fix it. Here’s what happened – Our guest, Alexa, is Deaf and we did the interview through an interpreter.  It was my first time ever doing an interview through an interpreter, so it took me a little time to relax into it. What didn’t occur to me was to send the transcript...

My pandemic sex life show art My pandemic sex life

Good Girls Talk About Sex

Leah gets real about how her intimate life has weathered the pandemic, and how confronting her partner’s depression spiral turned out to be a better strategy—for both of them—than enduring it.

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Good Girls Talk About Sex

Debbie was formed by experiences of both pleasure and pain. She was blessed with good early relationships, but also is a survivor of the epidemic of sexual abuse in elite women’s sport. Her faith in herself helped her choose to heal.

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Good Girls Talk About Sex

STARS is an easy-to-remember acronym for conversations that lead to awesome consensual sex.

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Good Girls Talk About Sex

Lachlan was born with a vagina. His is the story of how a boy learned to be a girl, then learned to be invisible, then a lesbian, before learning that he could just be who he was all along, except that it’s still … complicated.

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Good Girls Talk About Sex

What kind of touch do you enjoy? Have you thought about the ways, and places? Touch is a many-splendored thing.

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Mel had plenty of boyfriends but had trouble being faithful. She has chosen ethical non-monogamy as a way of meeting her variety of relational and physical attractions and needs.

Mel is a 55-year-old, cisgender female. She describes herself as very petite, polyamorous, and post-menopausal.

Public Service Announcement:

If you think monogamy is the vanilla prison for which there is no safe word, or find yourself cheating yet again to get your needs met, it may be time to think outside the box. Relationships—both romantic and play—can accommodate a variety of numbers, shapes, and parameters. For anything from regular group sex to family game night households, consider polyamory.


Bookmark moments:

  • 3:03 - Mel’s first memory of sexual pleasure is of rubbing against her pillow at age 7 when sent to her room for a “nap.”
  • 8:55 - She started having sex at 14 with a boyfriend and had a great first experience.
  • 12:31 - Mel talks about her first lesbian encounter with an older mystery rich woman.
  • 14:13 - She describes how she is attracted to and attaches to women differently.
  • 17:37 - Mel opens up about an abortion at 18. She got pregnant with a Swedish foreign exchange student.
  • 19:02 - Mel tells “the story” from college, about the time she wrote a song for a disastrous first date with the future author of “He’s Just Not That Into You.”
  • 22:18 - She talks about how her height (very petite) has affected her body image and confidence, the pressure to be thin growing up in the south, and about her shape fluctuations after motherhood.
  • 28:35 - During grad school Mel was in a “friendly” relationship with good-but-boring sex and accidentally became a mother.
  • 29:22 - She opens up about the fact that she has cheated in every past relationship, and what drove her. She talks about exploring the relationship model of ethical non-monogamy.
  • 31:35 - Mel explains that she loses part of herself when she’s only with one person because she over-adjusts to the dedicated partnership.
  • 37:35 - She talks about her current “triad” with a man and woman and two separate relationships with men.
  • 45:32 - Menopause has been non-catastrophic for Mel!


Resources mentioned:


The Patreon extras for this episode are:

  • Mel talks about how she responded to her parent’s divorce and to being anally raped
  • The extended Q&A

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Host – Leah Carey (website, Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, email)

Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby

Music – Nazar Rybak