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048 Disconnected in a Connected World

Inside My Wardrobe

Release Date: 02/13/2020

072 A Beginners Guide To The Menopause and HRT show art 072 A Beginners Guide To The Menopause and HRT

Inside My Wardrobe

What is the menopause? When does it start? When does it finish? Is HRT as dangerous as they once said or is it true that the majority of the information was misinformation? We go right back to basics in this episode with Dr Zoe Hodson, GP and menopause specialist who works with Dr Louise Newson on training GPs in how to recognise, diagnose and treat the menopause and more importantly, the peri-menopause which takes up a huge chunk of our lives impacted dramatically by hormone deficiency. I have a feeling we will revisit this topic again but this episode is jam packed with information and...

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071 I May Destroy Me show art 071 I May Destroy Me

Inside My Wardrobe

Dealing with self sabotage and overcoming our negative narrative .... Books mentioned: Untamed by Glennon Doyle Women Don't Owe Your Pretty by Florence Given All my links are available on Please do join our

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070 Healthy Selfish with Mandy Saligari show art 070 Healthy Selfish with Mandy Saligari

Inside My Wardrobe

Boundaries, healthy relationships, learning when to say no, self care is NOT naval gazing and so much more with the wonderful Mandy Saligari. See the TED talk "Feelings - Handle Them Or They Will Handle You" here Click here for Mandy's website and resources Click here for the podcast Facebook Group Page Click here for my website or search for Pipa Gordon on social media Thanks for listening and talk to you soon x

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069 Lower Your Drawbridge show art 069 Lower Your Drawbridge

Inside My Wardrobe

As we continue to come out of lockdown and attempt to rebuild a new normal, how do we avoid slipping into old habits? Amazingly, 800 years ago, St Francis of Assissi had some pretty insightful wisdom about what to do as you come away from crisis, he should know, he led his followers through many times of both invasion and crisis, surprisingly, the following points are still as relevant today …. Kindness and generosity – a spirit of service and non-materialism. The strength of community in forging new shared pathways towards a more fulfilling life in times of challenge. Love for and...

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068 The Beauty of Hindsight and Elephants show art 068 The Beauty of Hindsight and Elephants

Inside My Wardrobe

Yay us, we have survived 100 days of lockdown!! But if it takes between 18 to 254 days for a person to form a new habit we are in danger of slipping back into our old ways unless we consciously make the effort now to pinpoint those changes and commit to them. So I decided to come up with a checklist to hold myself accountable and remind myself, hence the title, that this year has truly given us the gift of hindsight and we don’t want to forget what we have learned. They say elephants have amazing memories like humans, they mourn their dead – they literally have funerals, they bury them...

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067 There's More Than One Way with Bibi Lynch show art 067 There's More Than One Way with Bibi Lynch

Inside My Wardrobe

Being single, childless, navigating online dating, face yoga, threesomes, fear of another recession, losing parents and dealing with grief alone – we go everywhere and believe it or not, manage to laugh our way through a chunk of it! So This episode comes off the back of one of your suggestions earlier in the year about living an alternative life, not getting married or having children – so I invited an old friend and colleague of mine, journalist Bibi Lynch on as she regularly writes about this in magazines and newspapers …. We actually cover a huge amount of ground, she talks about how...

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066 Everything Is On The Menu with Natalie Roy show art 066 Everything Is On The Menu with Natalie Roy

Inside My Wardrobe

Finding ourselves, properly discovering who we are, deep beneath the surface is the very beginning of an awakening to life so much fuller than we may have ever imagined. In fact I imagine this will be one of those episodes that we revisit and listen to again and again as it’s a treasure trove of much wisdom. To hear more from Natalie, to try her meditations or classes, you can visit or you can  listen to her podcast called In a nutshell, we hear a LOT of thought provoking things in this episode,  we talk about the impact of life before lockdown and why we often felt so empty and...

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065 Where Do We Go From Here? show art 065 Where Do We Go From Here?

Inside My Wardrobe

The world feels as though it has been turned upside down and shaken to its core and with everything tumbling around at our feet how do we move forwards? When everything seems as if it can never be the same again, how do we do our part in creating a change? Climbing out of a hole involves hard work and determination and by taking one step at a time, we will get there. We take wisdom from the cupboard under the kitchen sink, being lost in Paris, Anthony Robins, Dory, Elizabeth Gilbert, a tapestry, knitting, ladders and even the Incredible Hulk in order to discuss further so that post pandemic,...

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064 Let's Talk About Racism show art 064 Let's Talk About Racism

Inside My Wardrobe

Racism, both conscious and unconscious, needs to stop, everywhere. It’s not enough to say be kind, we need to do better at talking about it, looking under the surface, educating ourselves, listening to the roots and speaking up. Silence is violence. With all the events going on across the world following the murder of George Floyd, I have realised there are conversations we need to be having, here's one ....

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063 – Self Work: Indulgent or Invaluable? Featuring Mandi Saligari show art 063 – Self Work: Indulgent or Invaluable? Featuring Mandi Saligari

Inside My Wardrobe

Self-care and self-work are two very different things, does the latter fall into indulgence though or is it an invaluable part of our journeys to emotional and mental health? Addictions therapist Mandy Saligari says “your ability to be comfortable in your own skin is fundamental as to whether you might need to self-medicate later” and you will be surprised to hear, self-medication is not just drugs and alcohol!

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The health implications of loneliness are shocking and the greatest irony is that in a world so connected, we are feeling increasingly disconnected. It’s not about the quantity of friends we have, it’s all about the quality.

Last week I touched on this ever so briefly and I think it warrants a longer conversation so I wanted to dig under the surface a little bit more as this week there’s been a huge amount of activity everywhere trying to bring the subject of loneliness to the fore and discuss the whys and wherefores to it with the campaign to end loneliness

I have to say I was really challenged by the Ted talk that I told you about a couple of weeks ago, it was called “what makes a good life” by Robert Waldinger, Professor of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical school and one of the stand out things to me was that the quality of your relationships in your 50s has a direct impact on the quality of your life in your 70s and 80s – so with my 50s approaching the year after next, I’m not going to lie, I felt really challenged to look at the quality of my relationships, specifically my friendships

I remember a long long time ago reading an interview with Carol Vorderman, this was way more than 10 years ago now and she said that her 30s were really hard, raising families and struggling to build her career but that her 40s were great as her kids were older and her career was established so she was able to enjoy life more – and how she wished she knew it would pay off in her 30s – I remember reading it at the time thinking lucky for some, but fast forward 10/15 years and I think that ball has been kicked down the road as I know many many people in their 40s who are still struggling to find their feet when it comes to careers, getting on the property ladder and/or starting a family and feeling like they are free to enjoy life.

So what has happened in the last 10 years?

Social media – the irony is that the more connected we are, the less connected we have become 

  • Being busy has become a badge of honour, so much so that admitting that we might feel lonely has become even more taboo – like you have failed
  • We put our jobs and everyone else first
  • We don’t pop round for coffee anymore or sit on the phone for a chat – it’s all done by text, who doesn’t love a whatsapp group? But at the expense of eye contact? Body language? Being in the moment?

Now please don’t get me wrong, I love social media in so many ways but I have found myself pulling back on it a bit this year and making the effort to reconnect with “life on the ground” so to say

The trouble with immersing ourselves in the wonderful world of smart phones and technology that allows us to chat with anyone anywhere, is that we risk cutting ourselves off from some of our most basic human needs which happen right in front of our noses. So much research over the years has been done on the need for physical touch with babies and young children in particular as a link to their emotional and mental health - this doesn’t change drastically. We have this deep need for physical connection, eye contact, touch, sharing the same air and experiences together – not from behind a screen – we need our communities.

Take going shopping for example, cashiers are being replaced by machines, post offices are almost a thing of the past, local newsagents, nipping to the bank – so much has become automated so we need to make a conscious effort to replace those human interactions that used to be multiple times a day with other ones so we continue to meet our basic human needs, to connect, truly connect with one another.

Do you not think that the depth of our connection is often missing? We ask how someone is but we don’t really have the time to hear the answer so perhaps we even stop asking, I know I’ve been guity of that in the past.

The thing is, this self important race that we are running, is exactly that, it’s against ourselves and ultimately we are the ones who are missing out, if it’s not now, it will be at some stage because we all feel lonely at different stages.

We hear a LOT about the 1.2 million elderly people who are lonely, but it isn’t just them, your 20s and early 30s can be terribly lonely as you leave home, try to find your way in life, discover who you are, make mistakes, have your heart broken and live in your overdraft! City life can be as lonely as rural – in fact sometimes more so as in a city you can feel like you blend into the background whereas my experience of rural communities is that they often are better at rallying around – it’s different everywhere. Look at these statistics for how loneliness effects our physical health, it’s shocking!

  • Loneliness, living alone and poor social connections are as bad for your health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. (Holt-Lunstad, 2010)
  • Loneliness is worse for you than obesity. (Holt-Lunstad, 2010)
  • Lonely people are more likely to suffer from dementia, heart disease and depression. (Valtorta et al, 2016) (James et al, 2011) (Cacioppo et al, 2006)
  • Loneliness is likely to increase your risk of death by 29% (Holt-Lunstad, 2015)

So what do we do? About 18 months ago, the British Government created a loneliness strategy for England and it has been said that there is still not much change “on the ground” but to be fair, it’s not entirely their responsibility.

Yesterday, The Welsh government launched their loneliness strategy this week and the document opens with a quote from Robert Waldinger again, “Good relationships keep us happier and healthier”

Their strategy essentially contains 5 main points

  • Increasing opportunities for people to connect
  • Create community infrastructures that support connected communities – friendship bench
  • Cohesive and supportive communities – events, support groups, book groups, crafting, coffee mornings, drop ins,
  • Building awareness and promoting positive attitudes
  • Building for the future

According to a survey of 2,000 people in the UK, we fritter away 110 hours a year lamenting what might have been and 8/10 people believe their lives would be better if they had taken more risks so let’s learn from that. Did you read the list compiled by Macmillan nurses which showed the top 5 regrets of people at the end of their lives? If you’ve not heard them yet, here they are :

  1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me
  2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard
  3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings
  4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends
  5. I wish that I had let myself be happier

They have been circulated widely over the years and are as profound as they were when they were first written. There’s even a book about them now called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying book 

So if you want to find out more about the campaign to end loneliness, visit the website

They also released this beautiful video which is very thought provoking …Be More Us campaign video 

So let us be people who don’t leave it until it’s too late to understand the damage that loneliness does, until we are plagued by loneliness that has effected our minds and our bodies and also, let’s remember those who are suffering right now. If you’re struggling with loneliness right now, please ask for help – I know it can feel so burdensome but we all, shoe on the other foot, wouldn’t want to feel that way. Be honest, reach out, have the courage to express how you feel because you may discover that in reaching out, not only do you feel better, but you help someone else feel better too. Loneliness is a terribly hidden thing that we can all bring out into the light and combat together.

I read about Galentines day this morning – a take on Valentines day, reach out to your girlfriends, use #galentinesday as a reason to connect, truly connect with someone you love.

As always, do get in touch, I'd love to hear from you - more info on my website