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The Need-Shame Spiral

Mistress Wellbeing

Release Date: 05/25/2022

Work 1, Play 0 show art Work 1, Play 0

Mistress Wellbeing

How many hours do you spend at work? My coach asked us this in a group meeting once and one of my colleagues started to cry. It's a good metric to know and be deliberate about. How many hours are reserved for play? How do YOU play? I'm sharing my own story here of all the ways I've pursued the joys of play in the past few years, as I've really stepped up to play more expansively. Life is a rich tapestry of fabulous opporunities for fun, laughter and joy.  If that doesn't ring true for you, how can you bring more of it into your life? I give you so much permission and love to go after what...

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Audacious Ageing show art Audacious Ageing

Mistress Wellbeing

Do you want to age vibrantly and joyfully? It is possible to feel better at 50 than you did at 40? My vivacious guest this week is doing exactly that, and she shares some of her movement medicine with us today on the podcast. Tracey has developed the specifically for peri and menopausal women who want to age without pain, look terrific and feel great, without spending endless hours at the gym. Likewise, my program offers mental and emotional vibrancy without spending endless hours in therapy. Here are the paralells, Over the years we accumulate the emotional baggage of negative meaning...

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Waterloo! Your Invitation to Retreat. show art Waterloo! Your Invitation to Retreat.

Mistress Wellbeing

I've been on many retreats over the last few decades, and each one has offered an opportunity to connect with myself, reflect and redirect my energy, as well as enjoying the influence of teachers and other students. Opening myself to retreat has been a huge learning opportunity, as well as a rest and reset, and of course, the unique retreats I offer have grown out of these experiences. I'm sharing a little of my own journey on retreat today, and also letting you in on how my first Bali retreat came in to being. It's a good story! Being bold and trusting my gut really paid off. I had faith that...

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Beyond Worry show art Beyond Worry

Mistress Wellbeing

Are you an Olympic Worrier? 😳   It's a cliche, but it's very real. Anxiety can affect you and me in so many ways, with one main outcome - it makes life unbearable.   Which one is you?  The 2 am anxiety spiral. Hiding under the table at work fighting off a panic attack. Nausea on the commuter train. Hyperventilating on the phone with demanding clients. Free floating anxiety that attaches itself to the next thing as soon as the first issue is resolved And so many more.   My event is the 2am spiral, (I came first in the heats😂).  But I've learned to work with it and...

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Beyond Burnout - My Story show art Beyond Burnout - My Story

Mistress Wellbeing

Burnout is epidemic in the Australian workforce.  Deloitte recently published their , and almost half of the women interviewed describe burnout symptoms. So my this week is all about how to recognise and work with burnout. Subscribe so you don't miss any of the tools and tips I share weekly to support wellbeing. On the podcast I'm sharing my experience of burnout and beyond. I hope it will support you to recognise and take action if you are one of the 45% of women who rate their mental health as poor or extremely poor. On my webiste you can find

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The Secret Ingredient for Change show art The Secret Ingredient for Change

Mistress Wellbeing

Why do we want change? Couldn't we just stay the same for ever? That would be simple! But it would be against nature.  It would become dull and stale and boring.  Nature is in constant flux and so are we, when we are healthy. Energy is meant to flow in and out of us, through us. And we flow, like a powerful river, responding to life as it emerges.  This is healthy self process, alive, responsive, available, spontaneous and joyful. If you could wave a magic wand, what would you like to change in your life? Join me as I explore the secret ingredient for change on the podcast...

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The Surprising Truth about Making Change show art The Surprising Truth about Making Change

Mistress Wellbeing

Do you feel you're meant for better things? Or that you're just not using all your gifts? You want to play bigger but something holds you back? Today I'm exploring the two forces at work during the making of change, and how they can act like a foot on the accelerator and a foot on the brake.  The force for change, and the force for sameness. What I know is that change is a process, a verb, not a noun. It takes time. It can also be understood and supported so that you can step out into a bigger version of yourself and do those wonderful things (like starting a podcast). So how can you...

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How to Change Challenge Into Growth show art How to Change Challenge Into Growth

Mistress Wellbeing

How is adversity showing up in your life? Do you need support to manage it well? Not just to get through, but to work creatively with it so that it can lead to growth and wisdom instead of shutting down.   I notice that responding to adversity can take many forms. Compartmentalising, avoiding or being overwhelmed are a few that I see a lot in my work.   This makes so much sense in the immediate face of illness, bereavement, career crisis or other challenging experiences, but they are not good long-term solutions.   I know that therapy offers a way to process and allow emotion...

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From Self Criticism to Self Compassion show art From Self Criticism to Self Compassion

Mistress Wellbeing

I've had the 'flu and been sick for t he past five days, so here I am a day late with the podcast. It was so lovely to wake up this morning and feel that my sparkle is back! Yesterday I tried to convince myself that I 'HAD' to put out an episode, and pretty quickly turned from that critical, demanding, unreasonable voice towards a more self-compassionate, understanding one which said, 'Tomorrow you'll feel better, you can do it then.' I've been practising self compassion for some time now, and these are the fruits of my labour. Contrary to popular opinion, being self compassionate does not...

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Fabulous France Adventure Retreat show art Fabulous France Adventure Retreat

Mistress Wellbeing

I'm just back from five weeks in France where I had an amazing holiday, and offered a bespoke adventure retreat to one of my clients. We walked in the hills, swam in the Mediterranean and saw unbelievable ancient monuments like the Roman Pont Du Gard and the Templar city of La Couvertoirade in the Cevennes. It's been a while since I've ventured overseas on retreat, and this is my first experience of hosting in France, a country where I lived for a year and fell in love with the language and culture. My usual retreat venue is Bali, I've been going there since I was fourteen and love the people,...

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More Episodes

Do you know what you need at any given time?

Often our needs can become so buried away that we have no idea what we really need.

There re two big reasons for this that I see,

First, women are often conditioned out of attending to our own needs in favour of caring for the needs of others.

Second, a need-shame cycle has been set up in early childhood.

This second concept is what I'm discussing here today, the way unmet needs become linked to shame and the buried even further out of awareness.

To support you on your awareness journey I have a free gift for you.

Check out my free meditation library here.