'The Team Architect' with Eksteen de Waal

In this episode of the Connected Leadership Podcast, Andy Lopata is joined by Eksteen De Waal; an international speaker, author and leadership consultant. He is a Fellow of PSA UK and President of PSA Netherlands. Eksteen describes himself as a team architect, explaining that he views teams as structures that require attention and maintenance, much like a building. He illustrates how his work entails assessing existing teams, designing new teams from scratch (such as during mergers and acquisitions), or renovating teams to address conflicts and relationship issues. Eksteen shares insights from his 30 years of experience in analysing team dynamics, fostering inclusivity, and resolving conflicts.

Eksteen primarily works with leadership teams, particularly in start-ups and scale-ups, to shape organisational culture. He highlights the significance of the founders' relationship systems, which often shape the culture of the organisation. Eksteen shares that certain behavioural patterns and coping mechanisms may be developed, both positive and negative, which can in turn affect the team dynamic.

Andy and Eksteen discuss belief in personality types. Eksteen thinks that reducing individuals to acronyms or colours overlooks the complexity of who they are. Instead, he believes in using assessments as a way to initiate conversations and gain insights into how people engage and interact with each other. His assessments focus on behaviour, relationships, cognitive empathy, and motivation, allowing for a more comprehensive understanding of team members.

The discussion moves to conflict management, with Eksteen advocating for learning to manage conflicts within the team's paradigm instead of avoiding them. He highlights Cognitive Empathy as a key factor in understanding individual differences. Acknowledging and utilising these differences can enhance team collaboration and cohesion.

Andy and Eksteen also look into the importance of understanding ourselves as a way to navigate conflicts and build compassionate relationships. Eksteen shares a personal story from his childhood that shaped his curiosity about why people behave badly. He explains that his work focuses on conflict management within teams and utilising assessments that help uncover the barriers that hinder compassionate relationships.

They touch on the inclusivity and discrimination experienced in the workplace. Eksteen shares his own experiences of being made to feel like an outsider due to his sexual orientation and race. He emphasises the impact that external assumptions and labels can have on individuals, particularly those from minority groups. Andy and Eksteen discuss the conflict surrounding the term "woke" and how it has become polarised in different contexts. Eksteen believes that finding alternative ways to describe ideas and perspectives can help foster connection rather than separation.

The episode concludes by focusing on leading through others and the role of emotions in building trust and communication. Eksteen emphasises that listening involves not only hearing the words but also understanding the emotions at play. By creating an environment where people feel safe to express their emotions and thoughts, leaders can identify where disconnections and conflicts arise within teams and organisations. Through thought-provoking discussions, Andy and Eksteen emphasise the power of listening, empathy, and understanding in building connections and resolving conflicts. By embracing these qualities, individuals and teams can create inclusive and compassionate environments that foster trust, collaboration, and growth.

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