"The Pain of Miscarriage."

The Clarion Herald's associate editor Christine Bordelon interviews Dr. Michael Graham, an OB-GYN at East Jefferson General Hospital; NOLA Catholic Parenting blogger and columnist Megan Lacourrege; and Sherri Peppo, director of the nonprofit New Orleans Catholic Cemeteries on the subject of miscarriage.

 

Christine asks each of them to share their experiences with miscarriage.

2:40: Megan Lacourrege tells her unique story, having two children and two miscarriages since 2014. She had a 2-year-old, then experienced a miscarriage. After, she said she experienced a hard time in her marriage. She welcomed a baby boy this August.

 

Christine asked Megan about the challenges.

3:35: Megan mentioned a few of the challenges of miscarriage including the silent grief – mourning an unborn child that you didn’t get a chance to meet. She hadn’t told anybody, so nobody knew and couldn’t help with the grief and didn’t know what to say. Many things reminded her of that loss – seeing parents with babies. PTSD is something she and her husband experienced. Pregnancy after loss was also difficult. The memories came back of the miscarriage

 

5:50 Dr. Graham confirm that 1 in 4 pregnancies do end in miscarriage. People don’t get together and talk about miscarriage, so he understands who Megan felt alone in her grief and how it never faced a closure. He said he spends a lot of time talking to his patients about this. He conducted his wife’s ultrasound and discovered at 10 weeks. He said it doesn’t go away but you learn how to live your lfe. People think you can have other children, but in the hearts of parents of miscarriage know it is a loss. As a husband and gynecologist, he felt he couldn’t fix things. He said hold hands and pray and give it time. He said with further pregnancies, you have to take faith that God gave you healthy children. He said most women did something to cause the miscarriage. They did not. It’s God and nature.  98 percent of miscarriages were chromosomally abnormal. It’s makes sense that nature and God know more than us. People generally shy away from death; they don’t know what to say.

 

Christine asked about common things or symptoms that women have to look out for.

 

10:20: Pain and bleeding, Dr. Graham said. Until a baby gets to a viable age, 24 weeks, there isn’t much he can do.  He said a lot of miscarriages today are due to age, not nutrition. People are waiting longer to get married and have children. There is much more testing and knowing about pregnancies earlier. If a person eats healthier, they probably get all the nutrition they need.

 

Christine asked Megan about the importance of she and her husband burying the remains of their miscarried child. A Louisiana law in 2016 made it legal to obtain fetal remains for burial.

14:15: She did a DNC, but was afraid that she wouldn’t be able to have her baby’s body. The nurse told her she could bury or cremate her baby. This process took her three days to have a funeral for her baby. It meant so much. It was a mourning ritual and she knew she had a place where she could honor and visit her baby.

 

16:25: Christine asks Sherri Peppo about what New Orleans Catholic Cemeteries has done lately to help parents of miscarriage.

 

16:53: Peppo said in the back of St. Patrick #1 Cemetery on Canal Street, New Orleans Catholic Cemeteries created a Holy Innocent’s prayer garden for parents of miscarriage. Used to hold a prayer service for the unborn at St. Patrick #3, now it is at St. Patrick #1. The Rachel Mourning statue with a plaque with babies’ name is here. Next to the prayer garden is the All God’s Babies’ tomb with donations from the Monday Night Disciples who make baby caskets and baby burial gowns for free form wedding dresses. Catholic Cemeteries bury the babies for free. The prayer service for the unborn will be Jan. 22 at noon in 2021at Holy Innocents Prayer Garden.

 

20:55: Megan said it was difficult and she went through some difficult prayer with God but found solace through prayer. But she realized, after time, how God was with her through her pain. She reflected on the sorrows of Jesus and Mary. She felt like she was with Mary as she was holding her son during her two weeks being pregnant. Jesus and Mary get it and understand it. They know sorrow and pain and have gown through the brutality and grief of death. Having them with her made a difference.

 

22:20: It happened to Dr. Graham and his wife 26 years ago. He said Megan had a better outlook. He remembered a lot of silence and isolation. After about two to three months, he started feeling better. He knew the scientific reasoning behind the miscarriage, but the emotions were hard to heal. He felt lonely and lost because he couldn’t do anything to make it better. He tells the husbands what they felt, while being compassionate to the wives. He recognized the difficulty. He will pass on strides New Orleans Catholic Cemeteries is doing to his patients at East Jefferson. The cemetery and prayer garden will help with some finality to a miscarriage.

Clarion Herald's associate editor Christine Bordelon interviews Dr. Michael Graham, an OB-GYN at East Jefferson General Hospital; NOLA Catholic Parenting blogger and columnist Megan Lacourrege; and Sherri Peppo, director of the nonprofit New Orleans Catholic Cemeteries on the subject of miscarriage.

 

Christine asks each of them to share their experiences with miscarriage.

2:40: Megan Lacourrege tells her unique story, having two children and two miscarriages since 2014. She had a 2-year-old, then experienced a miscarriage. After, she said she experienced a hard time in her marriage. She welcomed a baby boy this August.

 

Christine asked Megan about the challenges.

3:35: Megan mentioned a few of the challenges of miscarriage including the silent grief – mourning an unborn child that you didn’t get a chance to meet. She hadn’t told anybody, so nobody knew and couldn’t help with the grief and didn’t know what to say. Many things reminded her of that loss – seeing parents with babies. PTSD is something she and her husband experienced. Pregnancy after loss was also difficult. The memories came back of the miscarriage

 

5:50 Dr. Graham confirm that 1 in 4 pregnancies do end in miscarriage. People don’t get together and talk about miscarriage, so he understands who Megan felt alone in her grief and how it never faced a closure. He said he spends a lot of time talking to his patients about this. He conducted his wife’s ultrasound and discovered at 10 weeks. He said it doesn’t go away but you learn how to live your lfe. People think you can have other children, but in the hearts of parents of miscarriage know it is a loss. As a husband and gynecologist, he felt he couldn’t fix things. He said hold hands and pray and give it time. He said with further pregnancies, you have to take faith that God gave you healthy children. He said most women did something to cause the miscarriage. They did not. It’s God and nature.  98 percent of miscarriages were chromosomally abnormal. It’s makes sense that nature and God know more than us. People generally shy away from death; they don’t know what to say.

 

Christine asked about common things or symptoms that women have to look out for.

 

10:20: Pain and bleeding, Dr. Graham said. Until a baby gets to a viable age, 24 weeks, there isn’t much he can do.  He said a lot of miscarriages today are due to age, not nutrition. People are waiting longer to get married and have children. There is much more testing and knowing about pregnancies earlier. If a person eats healthier, they probably get all the nutrition they need.

 

Christine asked Megan about the importance of she and her husband burying the remains of their miscarried child. A Louisiana law in 2016 made it legal to obtain fetal remains for burial.

14:15: She did a DNC, but was afraid that she wouldn’t be able to have her baby’s body. The nurse told her she could bury or cremate her baby. This process took her three days to have a funeral for her baby. It meant so much. It was a mourning ritual and she knew she had a place where she could honor and visit her baby.

 

16:25: Christine asks Sherri Peppo about what New Orleans Catholic Cemeteries has done lately to help parents of miscarriage.

 

16:53: Peppo said in the back of St. Patrick #1 Cemetery on Canal Street, New Orleans Catholic Cemeteries created a Holy Innocent’s prayer garden for parents of miscarriage. Used to hold a prayer service for the unborn at St. Patrick #3, now it is at St. Patrick #1. The Rachel Mourning statue with a plaque with babies’ name is here. Next to the prayer garden is the All God’s Babies’ tomb with donations from the Monday Night Disciples who make baby caskets and baby burial gowns for free form wedding dresses. Catholic Cemeteries bury the babies for free. The prayer service for the unborn will be Jan. 22 at noon in 2021at Holy Innocents Prayer Garden.

 

20:55: Megan said it was difficult and she went through some difficult prayer with God but found solace through prayer. But she realized, after time, how God was with her through her pain. She reflected on the sorrows of Jesus and Mary. She felt like she was with Mary as she was holding her son during her two weeks being pregnant. Jesus and Mary get it and understand it. They know sorrow and pain and have gown through the brutality and grief of death. Having them with her made a difference.

 

22:20: It happened to Dr. Graham and his wife 26 years ago. He said Megan had a better outlook. He remembered a lot of silence and isolation. After about two to three months, he started feeling better. He knew the scientific reasoning behind the miscarriage, but the emotions were hard to heal. He felt lonely and lost because he couldn’t do anything to make it better. He tells the husbands what they felt, while being compassionate to the wives. He recognized the difficulty. He will pass on strides New Orleans Catholic Cemeteries is doing to his patients at East Jefferson. The cemetery and prayer garden will help with some finality to a miscarriage.