Introducing "Lost Spaces"
The Queer Family Podcast
S14 EP15 BONUS | Join Jaimie in this Holiday Bonus Episode as she guests on 'Lost Spaces' with K Anderson! Jaimie shares her experience growing up in San Francisco surrounded by queer culture but struggling to recognize her own queerness. She discusses the male-dominated gay world she witnessed in the 80s and 90s and the lack of representation of gay women. Jaimie reflects on her journey of self-discovery, including experimenting with women and eventually embracing her identity as a lesbian. She also discusses the challenges of coming out to her parents and the stereotypes surrounding "U-Haul...
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Introducing "Who's Your Daddy"
The Queer Family Podcast
S14 EP14 BONUS | We interrupt our regular content to bring you Holiday Bonus Episodes of podcasts that Jaimie loves and has guested on! Listen to the intro to hear an update and funny story from Jaimie before diving into an episode of “Who’s Your Daddy” with Michael and Matt. Jaimie and the fellas go deep into her personal story of struggling through unexplained infertility and over 3 years (!!) of trying to have a baby through IVF and IUI. She also shares some very exciting news that came to be a pretty big surprise! 🏳️🌈Thanks to (code QUEERFAM), (code QUEERFAM) and...
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Pivot: A Short Film Challenging Gender Norms
The Queer Family Podcast
S14 BONUS | In this bonus holiday episode, Jaimie sits down with Robin and Anna, the creators of the short film "Pivot." They discuss the inspiration behind the film and its powerful message. The film tells the story of a young girl who rebels against societal expectations and fights against wearing a dress. The film explores themes of self-acceptance, identity, and the importance of allowing children to be true to themselves. "Pivot" has been well-received in film festivals and is currently being considered for an Oscar nomination. The creators encourage everyone to watch and share the film...
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Gender, Sexuality, and God's Will
The Queer Family Podcast
S14 EP12 | , a Nigerian-born pediatrician and advocate, shares her personal journey of self-discovery and acceptance as a queer person. Growing up in a homophobic and religious society, she struggled with internalized homophobia and rejected her own child when they showed signs of being feminine. However, after her child revealed themselves as transgender, Dr. Lulu had a change of heart and became an advocate for LGBTQIA+ youth. She emphasizes the importance of unlearning societal norms and accepting and affirming our children for who they truly are. Dr. Lulu also discusses her new ...
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Navigating Transitions and Coming Out Together
The Queer Family Podcast
S14 EP11 | Moe Ari and Tiffany, hosts of the podcast, share their journey as a queer couple. They met in college, became friends, and eventually fell in love. Moe Ari later came out as transgender, and they decided to start a family through reciprocal IVF. They faced challenges with their families' acceptance and had difficult conversations about their donor choice. Despite the obstacles, their families have come around and are now obsessed with their daughter, Nova. The couple emphasizes the importance of being your own “love goals” and creating your own authentic journey of partnership....
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A Donor Conceived Gay Mom Finds Her "Bio Dad"
The Queer Family Podcast
S14 EP10 | Freya Lyon, a queer mom and donor-conceived child, shares her journey of finding her "bio dad" and connecting with her donor-conceived siblings. She discusses her experience growing up with queer moms, her own journey of becoming a parent, and the importance of open communication and honesty in donor-conceived families. Freya emphasizes the significance of answering the questions of donor-conceived children and providing them with the option to connect with their donors or half-siblings. 🏳️🌈Thanks to (code QUEERFAM), (code QUEERFAM) and our ...
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The Fortunate Dads Adopt
The Queer Family Podcast
S14 EP9 | Eddie and Aurelio discuss their journey of adopting in the UK and becoming parents to twin toddlers during the pandemic. They emphasize the need for a support network and resources during the adoption process, and how the COVID-19 pandemic added both challenges and opportunities for bonding with their children. They now provide representation and support for other same-sex couples and adoptive parents through their popular social media platforms. 🏳️🌈Thanks to (code QUEERFAM), (code QUEERFAM) and our supporters. 🏳️🌈Interested in advertising? Check out...
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A Beautifully Complicated Transition, with Emme Reynolds
The Queer Family Podcast
S14 EP8 | Emme Reynolds, a transgender parent to two children in a newly blended family, shares their journey of self-discovery and transition. She discusses the importance of listening to each other's stories and understanding the challenges and complexities of transitioning. Emme emphasizes that transition is not a one-time event but an ongoing process, and highlights the difficulties faced by the LGBTQIA+ community in the current political climate. She also touches on the support she has received from her family and the importance of visibility and representation. Overall, Emme encourages...
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Finding Strength in Tragedy
The Queer Family Podcast
S14 EP7 | Liz Glazer, an award-winning stand-up comedian and queer mom, shares her journey to parenthood and the stillbirth of her first daughter, Leo Pearl. She discusses the struggles and grief associated with pregnancy loss, emphasizing that all forms of loss are equally difficult. Liz also talks about her wife's decision to freeze her eggs and their experience using a sperm bank. Despite the tragedy, Liz and her wife decided to try again and successfully welcomed their daughter, Eloise. Liz highlights the importance of being there for someone experiencing grief and offers insights into the...
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Diving Deep into Donor Conception PT. 2
The Queer Family Podcast
| S14 EP6 | and discuss the importance of disclosure and open communication when parenting donor-conceived children. They emphasize the need to drop seeds of information from an early age, allowing children to gradually understand their unique family story. The guests also highlight the significance of language and terminology when discussing donors. The conversation touches on the challenges of managing expectations and the potential impact of meeting donor siblings or the donor themselves. The guests introduce their new book, which provides guidance and support for individuals and...
info_outline| S14 EP3 | Nat Vikitsreth is a licensed clinical psychotherapist and child development specialist, and host of the Come Back to Care Podcast. She shares her personal journey, growing up in Bangkok, Thailand, and embracing her identity as a trans woman. Nat's work goes beyond therapy; she offers vital support to the queer community by being the "trans auntie of the village, loving up on other parents, especially queer parents." She discusses the importance of self-awareness and being present with our children. Her message reminds parents (especially Jaimie 😜) to give themselves grace as they navigate the complexities of parenting.
"Queer Parents. We got this." - Nat
Key Takeaways:
- Balancing the pressure to protect and prepare our children with the need to be present and connected.
- Self-awareness and recognizing our own patterns and reactions is crucial in being present with our children.
- Slowing down, pausing, and taking a breath can help us respond to our children's needs in a more present and connected way.
- Give yourself grace as a parent and acknowledge that you are doing your best.
Quotes:
- "We tend to put our parenting values in the backseat when worries and fears take over." - Nat
- "The threats are real, but we need to balance being present with our children so that they feel seen, heard, and loved for who they are." - Nat
- "If we're not soothed, we can't soothe our child." - Nat
- "All you parents out there who are doing your damn best. Give yourself grace. We all fuck up." - Jamie
- "That one thing in a day is so important." - Nat
If you like the episode, make sure to leave us a review and support The Queer Family Podcast on Patreon for as low as $2/month!
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Thanks to California Cryobank (code QUEERFAM), Our Shelves (code QUEERFAM) and our Patreon supporters.
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Edited by Jerson Barajas. Theme song: Tiffany Topol\ Logo art: Daneen Stevenato.
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For a full transcript of this episode and more info about the host visit our website
Chapters:
[0:00:00] Introduction and sponsor announcement
[0:00:12] Nat's desire to be a trans auntie and work with queer parents
[0:01:47] Jamie's introduction and background on previous parenting coaching session
[0:03:19] Nat's email expressing hope to affirm, validate, and uplift listeners
[0:04:12] Recommendation for the "Gaytriarchs" podcast
[0:05:17] Listener message from Dana in Wisconsin
[0:06:48] Jamie's gratitude and call for more listener messages
[0:08:08] Introduction of Nat and conversation begins
[0:08:42] Nat's elevator pitch and focus on love and boundaries
[0:10:42] Nat's work as a decolonized therapist and supporting social justice parenting
[0:11:28] Discussion of Nat's childhood and realization of being trans
[0:12:05] Nat's struggle with understanding and expressing their gender identity
[0:12:52] Nat talks about finding a community at their Catholic all boys school
[0:14:15] Nat tells their parents they think they are a woman
[0:15:06] Nat's parents already knew and accepted their identity
[0:16:12] Nat moves to a different province to finish high school
[0:17:05] Nat finds a chosen family in the sex worker community
[0:18:26] Nat starts transitioning in their first year of college
[0:19:14] Nat gets involved with the sex worker community
[0:21:06] Nat talks about the emotional connection with clients as a sex worker
[0:23:20] Nat and their chosen family do organizing work for safety
[0:24:59] Nat's parents seek therapy to understand and accept their transition
[0:25:44] Nat discusses their parents' education on their journey.
[0:26:23] Nat mentions seeing multiple psychiatrists as a requirement for transitioning.
[0:27:13] Nat talks about initially wanting a traditional family but later changing their mind.
[0:28:09] Nat expresses a desire to be the "trans auntie" and support queer families.
[0:29:21] Nat discusses the influence of patriarchy on their perception of womanhood.
[0:30:46] Jamie introduces the topic of parenting in the current anti-trans climate.
[0:32:00] Nat shares their journey of moving to the US and working with families.
[0:32:51] Nat discusses the challenges of parenting in a hostile world.
[0:34:24] Nat emphasizes the importance of being present with children despite challenges.
[0:36:19] Nat suggests balancing teaching and preparing with being present with children.
[0:38:32] Difficulty of being present with a child's hurt
[0:39:23] Using the SIFT acronym to slow down and pause
[0:39:56] Mama bear instinct to protect child
[0:40:49] Using the SIFT acronym to notice bodily cues
[0:42:40] Sensations may be too overwhelming for some parents
[0:43:18] Noticing thoughts before going into teaching mode
[0:44:27] Checking in with child's feelings and experiences
[0:45:39] Pausing before reacting and breaking the pattern
[0:46:44] Giving oneself grace and apologizing for losing temper
[0:49:20] Sharing alternative actions and modeling emotional resilience
[0:51:27] Research on mothers' ability to meet their babies' needs
[0:53:16] Babies as young as three months can cope with stress
[0:54:08] Different ways to self-soothe and model for children
[0:55:15] Importance of teaching emotional skills to navigate difficult emotions
[0:56:26] Recognizing the need to slow down and pay attention
[0:58:06] Personalizing self-soothing techniques for children
[0:59:29] Core regulation and sitting with children in their emotions
[1:00:57] Being transparent about one's own capacity for regulation
[1:01:51] Giving parents grace and acknowledging their efforts
[1:02:50] Queer parents and allies are doing a great job
[1:03:48] Introduction to Nat and their podcast
[1:04:25] Thank you and closing remarks
[1:05:00] Merchandise and conclusion