loader from loading.io

Your Expectations of Reality are Not Reality

SOUL SCHOOL with Audrey

Release Date: 04/06/2020

How to give yourself Body Kindness show art How to give yourself Body Kindness

SOUL SCHOOL with Audrey

In a world where we’re taught that thinner is better and being younger is more desirable, it’s hard for us to push through that noise and be stronger than societies expectations. My intention for my post was to inspire women to love themselves, not degrade themselves.

Spirituality and Racial Injustice with Donte Quinine show art Spirituality and Racial Injustice with Donte Quinine

SOUL SCHOOL with Audrey

To celebrate episode 100 Today on the Soul School podcasts, I talk with Donte Quinine, a Tedx speaker, life coach and yoga leader about spirituality and racial injustice.

What Would Someone Who Truly Loved Themselves Do? show art What Would Someone Who Truly Loved Themselves Do?

SOUL SCHOOL with Audrey

Although we can learn tactics for building self-love, sometimes we get stuck of how to actually put these tools into practice. It’s tough to rewire our brain patterns. This week’s mantra is when you get into conflict with yourself, ask: “what would someone who truly loved themselves do?” to help you shift out of your head and into your heart. www.AudreySuttonMills.co,

Learning from Your Dark Shadows show art Learning from Your Dark Shadows

SOUL SCHOOL with Audrey

Shadows are a dark part of our personality that we often want to hide because it brings us shame. One tool is to give the shadow a personal name to help ease the self-inquiry process and help you stay open to learning about yourself so you can let go of judgment and be there for yourself to learn the lesson. Only when we can be with our uncomfortable feelings, then we can learn from them what they are trying to show us.

How to REparent Yourself show art How to REparent Yourself

SOUL SCHOOL with Audrey

You have learned beliefs and patterns that you bring into your relationships with each other and yourself. Nothing is new. As children we’re very good at being in tune with our environment and very good at protecting ourselves to feel safe. Even if you had a good childhood, you learned ways of how to act by watching your caregivers, parents, siblings, cousins and their behaviors, beliefs and expectations. Reparenting is the act of giving yourself what you needed as a child.

How to Generously listen to yourself (inner child meditation) show art How to Generously listen to yourself (inner child meditation)

SOUL SCHOOL with Audrey

This is a guided meditation to connect to your inner child. It is a simple and easy tool to create a ritual for yourself each day.

Help for The People Pleaser show art Help for The People Pleaser

SOUL SCHOOL with Audrey

You don’t have to fix yourself You’re not broken. By feeling your feelings, you return to your wholeness. If you’re constantly fixing, numbing and ignoring in order to be happy, you will always be chasing this destination. Happiness is fleeting – just like any other emotion. By honoring Life’s ups and downs, being with yourself and feeling your feelings fully, you’ll be able to find happiness in the process, build worthiness in your new skills, and trust your resilience that you are brave, matur

Self-forgiveness: How to Heal Wounds by Connecting With Your Inner Child show art Self-forgiveness: How to Heal Wounds by Connecting With Your Inner Child

SOUL SCHOOL with Audrey

The way we would talk to a child is so much different than we talk to our adult self. We’re harsh, judgmental and critical, but you would never be like that to a sweet young child. By connecting to the sweet little girl or boy in you, it’s easier to be kinder and softer to yourself. Creating a practice of self-forgiveness is one way you can begin to deepen your compassion towards yourself and expand your self-love. LMK if this is helpful: www.AudreySuttonMills.com. Join me for SOUL SCHOOL 10/5/2020

4 Ways to Help When You Want to Quit show art 4 Ways to Help When You Want to Quit

SOUL SCHOOL with Audrey

Today, you'll learn 4 ways to help you combat your itty-bitty-shitty-committee when you get down in those dark places and want to quit. Your hardest times often lead to the greatest moments of your life. Don’t quit! You’re about to breakthrough. It’s happening. Keep going! LMK how this is helping you. Thank you for sharing, rating and reviewing this podcast! xo Audrey

You're in Resistance When You're About to Transform show art You're in Resistance When You're About to Transform

SOUL SCHOOL with Audrey

This week’s mantra is: “I’m in resistance because I’m about to transform.”

More Episodes

Usually when I’m upset with someone, it’s because I have expectations of how they “should” be.

But is that real pure love?

Is that reality?

Or is it just my perspective of reality?

During our valentines weekend, Jake went skiing Saturday and Monday, so Sunday was our day for quality family time and for this momma to get a break.

I ended up doing a mix of taking care of the baby and we didn’t get quality time together.

I was upset, felt used, and unloved because it didn’t go the way I wanted.

He thought the day went well.

Are we on freaking different planets?! How could we experience the same day but have the opposite perspectives of how the day went?

He thought taking care of the baby for 2 hours while I did errands and got a rushed 20-minute workout was enough and going for a walk in the park together constituted quality family time. I just wanted was to lock myself in the bedroom and read my book – by myself and go wine tasting and eat pizza in the afternoon as a family. 

These are very different scenarios. I was resentful, bitter and upset the whole day.

When the day was pretty much over, I was still fuming. My one day off to spend together was wasted. I took a shower and some deep breaths and invited my bitterness in. 

When I viewed these negative emotions as a teacher, it led me to realize I had expectations of him and the day. I was blaming him the whole day, but it was my fault for feeling disappointed and upset because I never communicated my expectations of what I wanted our day to be like. 

Those triggers taught me I needed to own my responsibility for my expectations of him and to communicate my feelings and what I wanted. It wasn’t fair to him to make the unreasonable expectation that he should know what I want and read my mind.

I was the one who ruined my day. I had turned it into a story.

Anyone else been there too making something into everything? 

I had created turmoil in my world by placing my own expectations on reality.

Our Ego loves to point the finger, but that doesn’t created healing.

Once I lovingly communicated my feelings and took responsibility for having unreasonable expectations and judgements, Jake openly heard me and we had a great rest of the evening.

It’s very empowering when you see how your thoughts become your story and know you can choose how you want to show up in the world. 

The reality is: You have no control over others. You have no control of the outcome. You have no control over anything outside yourself. You only have control of yourself. Taking responsibility shifts the blame from someone else to taking responsibility for your thoughts and beliefs.

Taking responsibility for your own internal state is empowering and leads to freedom and ease in life and your relationships

Meditation is a great tool, that if practiced consistently can help you watch your crazy thoughts and how you actually create turmoil in your world by placing your own expectations on reality, instead of seeing reality for exactly as it is.

So, my invitation for you this week: when you’re in resentment, offended or hurt by someone, see it as an opportunity to turn inward, not lash outward, to view how your expectations of how that person should be is really just a story you’re telling yourself and is not coming from a place of love.

Your expectations of reality are the cause of your suffering of what is really occurring.

 You have the power to create your reality by shifting your expectations of it.

Always loving hearing from you on IG or the blog: www.audreysuttonmills.com