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Navigating Parenthood: Direction over Perfection

Play Therapy Parenting Podcast

Release Date: 12/07/2023

S2E28 - Managing Separation Anxiety: Setting Clear Limits and Choices show art S2E28 - Managing Separation Anxiety: Setting Clear Limits and Choices

Play Therapy Parenting Podcast

In this episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast, I answer a question from Cindy about managing her five-year-old daughter's intense separation anxiety and big emotions. Cindy describes her daughter's attachment to her as a "safe person," especially at home, where her anxiety becomes more unmanageable. I discuss strategies that can support Cindy’s daughter, including reflecting her feelings to help build emotional vocabulary and setting clear limits with choices, which empowers Cindy’s daughter to handle situations more independently. I also suggest a gradual approach to creating...

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S2E27 - Power and Control: Handling Resistance to Reflecting Feelings and Limit-Setting show art S2E27 - Power and Control: Handling Resistance to Reflecting Feelings and Limit-Setting

Play Therapy Parenting Podcast

In this episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast, I respond to an email from Nicola, a parent struggling with her six-year-old son who resists reflective feelings and limit-setting techniques, often becoming aggressive. Nicola also has a younger son who responds well to these strategies, adding to her frustration. I explain why this behavior is a typical power and control struggle, and how her son's resistance is rooted in his discomfort with change. I offer practical advice on how to approach these situations with patience and consistency, emphasizing that new parenting strategies often...

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S2E26 - Empowering Your Child with Wholesome Stories: Interview with Britfield Author C.R. Stewart show art S2E26 - Empowering Your Child with Wholesome Stories: Interview with Britfield Author C.R. Stewart

Play Therapy Parenting Podcast

In this episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast, I speak with C.R. Stewart, author of the Britfield series, about the power of wholesome literature in shaping children’s emotional and intellectual development. We discuss how value-based stories can nurture your child’s creativity, critical thinking, and sense of self-worth, while providing an alternative to the media and screen time overload. Learn how you can empower your children with content that promotes family, courage, and hope. Stewart shares insights into his creative process, the global impact of his books, and how parents...

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S2E25 - Too Late to Start? Implementing Play Therapy Techniques with Older Kids show art S2E25 - Too Late to Start? Implementing Play Therapy Techniques with Older Kids

Play Therapy Parenting Podcast

In this episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast, I answer a question from Amy, a mom of two from Florida, who is navigating the challenge of implementing child-centered play therapy principles with her 12 and 9-year-olds. Amy is concerned about whether it’s too late to start using these techniques with older children and asks about handling mean words, backtalk, and yelling in her home. I discuss how these strategies can be applied effectively at any age, and I offer practical advice on setting limits, staying calm during heated moments, and using child-centered techniques even when...

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S2E24 - When Encouragement Backfires: Reflecting Feelings and Building Esteem in Sensitive Kids show art S2E24 - When Encouragement Backfires: Reflecting Feelings and Building Esteem in Sensitive Kids

Play Therapy Parenting Podcast

In this episode, I address a question from Nell in Ireland about using encouragement and esteem-building techniques with a sensitive child who doesn't respond well in challenging moments. I discuss the importance of ensuring our tone of voice and facial expressions are congruent with the child's emotional state, especially when they're frustrated or struggling. I emphasize the value of reflecting feelings before offering encouragement. This approach validates the child's emotions and creates a connection, making them more receptive to encouragement. I also touch on the necessity of setting...

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S2E23 - Solving Hygiene Battles with Choices show art S2E23 - Solving Hygiene Battles with Choices

Play Therapy Parenting Podcast

In this episode, I address a common parenting challenge: children's resistance to hygiene practices. I respond to a question from Rosemary in Florida, who's struggling with her 10-year-old daughter's refusal to use soap while showering and to wipe and flush after using the bathroom. I explain that this behavior is fundamentally a power and control issue. Children have control over very few things in their lives, and hygiene routines are one area where they can exert independence. To address this, I introduce the concept of choice giving as a powerful parenting tool. I walk through how to set...

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S2E22 - Play Therapy at Home: 30 Minutes to Transform Your Parenting show art S2E22 - Play Therapy at Home: 30 Minutes to Transform Your Parenting

Play Therapy Parenting Podcast

In this episode, I discuss the importance of implementing small play sessions with your children to practice the parenting skills we've been discussing. I explain why play is crucial for children's development and emotional processing, and how it provides a unique window into their world. I share practical advice on how to schedule 30-minute play sessions with each of your children every week. During these sessions, I encourage you to let your child lead the play while you focus on practicing specific skills like reflecting feelings, encouraging, and giving choices. I emphasize that this...

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S2E21 - Presence: The Art of True Engagement with Your Child show art S2E21 - Presence: The Art of True Engagement with Your Child

Play Therapy Parenting Podcast

In this episode, I discuss the importance of being present and engaged with our children. I share a heartwarming experience I had on a recent flight, where I observed a father fully engaged with his young son for the entire 2.5-hour journey. This interaction exemplified the essence of play therapy parenting - being attuned, present, and engaged. I offer practical tips for improving presence, including maintaining eye contact, using reflective responses, and trying to experience the world through our children's eyes. Throughout the episode, I stress that building a strong relationship with our...

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S2E20 - Power, Control, and Potty Problems: Effective Strategies for Toileting Challenges show art S2E20 - Power, Control, and Potty Problems: Effective Strategies for Toileting Challenges

Play Therapy Parenting Podcast

In this episode, I address a question from Emma in Ireland about her 4-year-old son's toileting issues. Despite being toilet trained for over a year, he frequently has accidents, especially during changes in routine or when other people are caring for him. I explain that this behavior is likely rooted in power and control issues, as children have control over very few aspects of their lives. I discuss the concept of "somatic" responses, where emotional issues manifest physically, and how positive emotions can help overcome these challenges. I provide practical advice on using a child's...

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S2E19 - Diffusing Power Struggles: A Play Therapy Approach to Parenting show art S2E19 - Diffusing Power Struggles: A Play Therapy Approach to Parenting

Play Therapy Parenting Podcast

In this episode, I discuss the topic of power struggles between parents and children. I explain why these struggles occur, provide a framework for handling them, and offer practical advice rooted in child-centered play therapy principles. I emphasize the importance of understanding the "why" behind power struggles. Children often seek control because they have little of it in their daily lives. By recognizing this, parents can approach these situations with more empathy and effectiveness. I introduce a framework using three of the four pillars we've discussed in previous episodes: reflecting...

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More Episodes
In this episode of the Play Therapy Parenting Podcast, I explore the analogy of a compass and how it relates to parenting. I delve into the fact that a compass doesn't actually point to True North, contrary to popular belief. This realization led me to reflect on the parenting journey, highlighting the freedom found in acknowledging that, just like a compass, we may not always be heading in the "perfect" direction.
 
I emphasize the importance of understanding that parenting isn't about attaining perfection but about navigating with intention and the right tools. I encourage listeners to embrace mistakes, take responsibility, and apologize when needed, as it not only sets an example for children but also frees us from the unrealistic pressure of being flawless parents.
 
By framing parenting through the lens of intentional direction rather than the pursuit of perfection, it's okay not to have a fixed, unwavering path.
 
Follow me on Twitter: @thekidcounselor
My Podcast Partner, Gabb Wireless: https://www.playtherapyparenting.com/gabb/
 
References:
Cochran, N., Nordling, W., & Cochran, J. (2010). Child-Centered Play Therapy (1st ed.). Wiley.
VanFleet, R., Sywulak, A. E., & Sniscak, C. C. (2010). Child-centered play therapy. Guilford Press.
Landreth, G. L. (2002). Play therapy: The art of the relationship (2nd ed.). Brunner-Routledge.
Bratton, S. C., Landreth, G. L., Kellam, T., & Blackard, S. R. (2006). Child parent relationship therapy (CPRT) treatment manual: A 10-session filial therapy model for training parents. Routledge/Taylor & Francis Group.
Benedict, Helen. Themes in Play Therapy. Used with permission to Heartland Play Therapy Institute.