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103: Staying Mentally Healthy in Your Remarriage

The Remarried Life

Release Date: 08/13/2019

158: Are You Only Staying in Your Marriage for the Kids? show art 158: Are You Only Staying in Your Marriage for the Kids?

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer talks about staying in an unhappy and unhealthy marriage because you don’t want your kids and stepkids to have to deal with another life altering change. Look I clearly get why you would do this and feel this but ultimately is it the right thing to do? We will talk about this important subject for blended families today. We hope you are inspired by today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

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157: Can You Be Friends With Your Ex? show art 157: Can You Be Friends With Your Ex?

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer talks about the possibilities of staying friends with your ex-spouse. And we don’t just mean friends, but can you actually be friends and stay in each other’s lives as friends. After all there are current spouse’s feelings and what the kids may or may not thinking about this to consider. We hope you are inspired by today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

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156: The Rashomon Effect on Your Remarriage show art 156: The Rashomon Effect on Your Remarriage

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer talks about the myth of perception becoming reality. We can often get stuck into believing the way we saw or experienced an event or an issue is the only way or the right way. Today we will talk about the Rashomon effect which is a term often used to describe how eyewitness accounts of an event can often be unreliable. We hope you are inspired by today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

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155: COVID-19 Differences With Your Ex-Spouse show art 155: COVID-19 Differences With Your Ex-Spouse

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer talks about how in this emotionally charged time we live in, how we can best handle differences in beliefs and feelings on the COVID-19 pandemic that could affect our children. This can be extremely difficult to work through especially if you both have rigid beliefs. We will talk about this issue and give some practical help in this area. We hope you are inspired by today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

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154: What is Emotional Infidelity? show art 154: What is Emotional Infidelity?

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer talks emotional infidelity. This is a very cloudy topic that many people don’t have a good handle on. With physical or sexual infidelity, the issue is very clear because it involves something that can be clearly seen. Today we will talk about how best to understand when this is an issue that needs to be dealt with in your relationship. We hope you are inspired by today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

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153: Put Your Oxygen Mask on First and Take Care Of Yourself show art 153: Put Your Oxygen Mask on First and Take Care Of Yourself

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer talks about taking care of yourself. In a blended family we often get pulled in so many directions that we exhaust ourselves to the point of upset and frustration. This episode to help give you permission to slow down and refresh. I am going to practice this and take a short break from the podcast of about 3 weeks and return refreshed! We hope you are inspired by today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

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152: Teach Your Blended Family to be Free by Judging Less show art 152: Teach Your Blended Family to be Free by Judging Less

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer talks about how judging others and being critical of others way of being can often lead to feeling of being trapped by your own anger. If you judge others then chances are also high that your bio kids and step kids may also begin to be weighed down by this as well. Today we will talk about freeing the entire family. We hope you are inspired by today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

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151: Remarriage Rehab - Part 3 New Behaviors show art 151: Remarriage Rehab - Part 3 New Behaviors

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer welcomes you to this 3 part series on renovating your remarriage. In part 1, we discuss how to be more aware of past issues that might be driving our reactions. In part 2, I discuss how our thought processes, distortions, and biases play a role in our connection. In part 3 I will discuss implementing new behaviors to complete the renovation. We hope you are inspired by today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.co

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150: Remarriage Rehab - Part 2 Reducing Cognitive Distortions show art 150: Remarriage Rehab - Part 2 Reducing Cognitive Distortions

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer welcomes you to this 3 part series on renovating your remarriage. In part 1, we discuss how to be more aware of past issues that might be driving our reactions. In part 2, I discuss how our thought processes, distortions, and biases play a role in our connection. In part 3 I will discuss implementing new behaviors to complete the renovation. We hope you are inspired by today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.co

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149: Remarriage Rehab Part 1 - Disconnecting From Your Past show art 149: Remarriage Rehab Part 1 - Disconnecting From Your Past

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer welcomes you to this 3 part series on renovating your remarriage. In part 1, we discuss how to be more aware of past issues that might be driving our reactions. In part 2, I discuss how our thought processes, distortions, and biases play a role in our connection. In part 3 I will discuss implementing new behaviors to complete the renovation. We hope you are inspired by today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.co

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More Episodes

Brian Mayer takes a look back the best episodes on The Remarried Life podcast that will help you to stay mentally strong in the face of the difficult and complex new life in your remarriage and blended family.  We hope you enjoy today’s message.  For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

Today's Goodies

  • Let’s face it, staying mentally strong in today’s world with everything that comes at us can be difficult.  Unfortunately gun violence feels like it is on the rise and that we now wonder is any public place safe.  It is things like this that when we add to the grief and loss of divorce and the anxiety over stepparenting and blended families that it makes perfect sense that we can gravitate toward things like depression and anxiety. 
  • While there are certain actions and behaviors and strategies that can make life in a blended family better, it really starts with your own mental health.    
  • Did you know that almost 7% of adults will have a depressive episode in any given year.  Bipolar depression which can swing from great highs to great lows can affect almost 3% of the U.S. population. 
  • Anxiety is the most common mental illness in the U.S. affecting about 18% of the population.  Now it could be actually argued that everyone has anxiety but of course it only rises to a problematic level in some. 
  • If you have listened to the podcast for any length of time, you know that starting with ourselves is probably the most important thing you can do, so today we are going to take a look back at some of the episodes that can help you to stay mentally on track as the insanity swirls around you. 
  • Session 6: The Stigma of Divorce  - Things like feelings of failure, feeling less than you are, and feeling different are all things we talked about in the episode.  The overarching theme though is that this is normal and everyone experiences these things especially in the beginning. 
  • Session 11: Trusting Yourself After Divorce – Really enjoyed this episode with Carmen Roman, fellow podcaster who talked about the experiences we gather through divorce, walking through the grief process, working past the milestone events the next year, among many other issues. 
  • Session 19: Have You Healed From Your Previous Marriage  - We take a deep dive and look at the grieving process and the stages involved.  The stages are Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance, and Forgiveness.  The stages aren’t linear and there is no perfect timetable.  We all move at different paces for sure. 
  • Session 32: Learn How to Forgive  - While forgiveness is certainly an action, there is also a huge mental health component to it.  Forgiveness especially for the one holding the unforgiveness can lift an emotional burden that is being carried around.  Forgiveness though is a process and it doesn’t mean you trust again but just that you work to open back the lines of communication and repair the disconnect. 
  • Session 40: Introduction to Mindfulness
  • Session 41: Individual Mindfulness Exercise
  • Session 42: Couples Mindfulness Exercise –
    • In these 3 episodes we take a break from the usual strategies and tips to take a breath for us individually and as a couple. Being mindful is the art of remaining in the present moment non-judgmentally.  It can create peace, and calm and a more loving connection.    
  • Session 56: Projecting Past Hurts onto Your Partner – This episode is all about getting in touch with your mental state when it comes to the connection between your past and your present.  It is very common to be completely unaware that something that is happening in the present in your relationship feels worse than it really is because it is triggering a memory, a though, or an emotion that is connected to something that happened in your previous relationship.    
  • Session 93: How to Reframe Your Mind Toward Your New Family – We talk in this episode about how our brains are somewhat wired to what is called a Negativity Bias.  This means that we will tend to look more at the negative in situations. This really goes back to earlier times when are brains had to be alert for danger regarding say other animals.  We developed a rapid flight or flight response.  Unfortunately this can get activated very easily if we are not careful in simple conversations with our spouse.    

Resources:

  • Links to The Episodes are Above

 

Thanks For Listening!

  • With so many things that take time in our lives, I more grateful than you know that you took time to listen to this podcast episode. 
  • If you liked this episode and believe that it would be beneficial to a friend, family member, or colleague, please share it using the social media buttons on this page.
  • The Remarried Life Facebook Group is a community of people just like you who get and give support.  Please join today!  ​

As always remember that marriage is not something you have, it is something you do.  Talk to you next week unless you are binge listening in the future in which case I will talk to you in about a minute!  Take care.