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103: Staying Mentally Healthy in Your Remarriage

The Remarried Life

Release Date: 08/13/2019

130: How to Change Your Mindset Toward Your Blended Family show art 130: How to Change Your Mindset Toward Your Blended Family

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer talks about the one thing we have control over in our blended family. That one thing is how we view what is happening around us. We can choose to think certain ways, but we are going to challenge those thoughts today. We hope you enjoy today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

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129: Valentines Day Remarriage  Family Traditions show art 129: Valentines Day Remarriage Family Traditions

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer talksin this episode about the Valentines Family traditions. Not only should Valentines Day celebrate each other as spouses but should incorporate the kids as well. We hope you enjoy today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

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128: Do You Have Voices In Your Head When Arguing With Your Spouse? show art 128: Do You Have Voices In Your Head When Arguing With Your Spouse?

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer talks about how an increase in disagreements and arguing can often be a result of some voices from your childhood. Feeling like you don’t measure up to your spouse or that your spouse does not care often will be magnified because someone in your past either said these things or made you feel this way. We will talk about this and what to do about it. We hope you enjoy today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

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127: How to Have the Best Family Meeting show art 127: How to Have the Best Family Meeting

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer talks about the dreaded family meeting. You have all kinds of chaos between your spouse, the ex-kids, the kids, and the stepkids. It probably feels like everyone is being pulled into many directions. Let’s talk about what to do and what not to do in a family meeting. We hope you enjoy today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

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126: Heap Burning Coals On Their Heads show art 126: Heap Burning Coals On Their Heads

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer talks about being nice to your family including your stepkids even when you feel like they don’t deserve. Heap burning coals on their heads is a biblical reference to doing kind things for your enemies. The burning coals is supposed to awaken those that you are being nice to how to act differently toward you. We hope you enjoy today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

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125: When Your Ex-Spouse's Parenting Style is Different show art 125: When Your Ex-Spouse's Parenting Style is Different

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer talks about what we have all been through and that’s dealing with an ex-spouse who runs a much different family dynamic or parenting style than you. Usually the differences center around the relationship with the children, rules like bedtimes, mealtimes, and homework. We will talk today about how to deal with this situation in the best way possible. We hope you enjoy today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.c

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124: Reduce Screen Time in Your Stepfamily show art 124: Reduce Screen Time in Your Stepfamily

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer talks about how technology, screen time, and social media can secretly and silently destroy your connection with your stepfamily. We will talk about this and some strategies to reduce this as an issue. We hope you enjoy today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

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123: Stop Making Assumptions About Your Partner show art 123: Stop Making Assumptions About Your Partner

The Remarried Life

Summary Brian Mayer talks about how the human brain will filter something the eyes see and the ears hear into something that maybe is not really there.  It is called making assumptions.  When we see our spouse say or do something, we will often unknowingly ascribe meanings that may or may not be true.  We will talk about this and what to do instead.  We hope you enjoy today’s message.  For more information and additional resources please visit our website at Today's Goodies   We all know the old cliché about what assumptions do?  That make a “blank”...

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122: Stepfamily Development – Part 3 The Later Stage show art 122: Stepfamily Development – Part 3 The Later Stage

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer over the next 3 weeks will be talking about the stages of stepfamily development. These stages were developed by Patricia Papernow, Ed.D. We will walk through the early stages in the first episode, the middle stages in the second episode, and the later stages in the third episode of this series. We hope you enjoy today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

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121: Stepfamily Development - Part 2 The Middle Stage show art 121: Stepfamily Development - Part 2 The Middle Stage

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer over the next 3 weeks will be talking about the stages of stepfamily development. These stages were developed by Patricia Papernow, Ed.D. The broad view of this series is to understand that there are steps that the life of the stepfamily will take and that patience is needed to see them all unfold. We hope you enjoy today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

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More Episodes

Brian Mayer takes a look back the best episodes on The Remarried Life podcast that will help you to stay mentally strong in the face of the difficult and complex new life in your remarriage and blended family.  We hope you enjoy today’s message.  For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

Today's Goodies

  • Let’s face it, staying mentally strong in today’s world with everything that comes at us can be difficult.  Unfortunately gun violence feels like it is on the rise and that we now wonder is any public place safe.  It is things like this that when we add to the grief and loss of divorce and the anxiety over stepparenting and blended families that it makes perfect sense that we can gravitate toward things like depression and anxiety. 
  • While there are certain actions and behaviors and strategies that can make life in a blended family better, it really starts with your own mental health.    
  • Did you know that almost 7% of adults will have a depressive episode in any given year.  Bipolar depression which can swing from great highs to great lows can affect almost 3% of the U.S. population. 
  • Anxiety is the most common mental illness in the U.S. affecting about 18% of the population.  Now it could be actually argued that everyone has anxiety but of course it only rises to a problematic level in some. 
  • If you have listened to the podcast for any length of time, you know that starting with ourselves is probably the most important thing you can do, so today we are going to take a look back at some of the episodes that can help you to stay mentally on track as the insanity swirls around you. 
  • Session 6: The Stigma of Divorce  - Things like feelings of failure, feeling less than you are, and feeling different are all things we talked about in the episode.  The overarching theme though is that this is normal and everyone experiences these things especially in the beginning. 
  • Session 11: Trusting Yourself After Divorce – Really enjoyed this episode with Carmen Roman, fellow podcaster who talked about the experiences we gather through divorce, walking through the grief process, working past the milestone events the next year, among many other issues. 
  • Session 19: Have You Healed From Your Previous Marriage  - We take a deep dive and look at the grieving process and the stages involved.  The stages are Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance, and Forgiveness.  The stages aren’t linear and there is no perfect timetable.  We all move at different paces for sure. 
  • Session 32: Learn How to Forgive  - While forgiveness is certainly an action, there is also a huge mental health component to it.  Forgiveness especially for the one holding the unforgiveness can lift an emotional burden that is being carried around.  Forgiveness though is a process and it doesn’t mean you trust again but just that you work to open back the lines of communication and repair the disconnect. 
  • Session 40: Introduction to Mindfulness
  • Session 41: Individual Mindfulness Exercise
  • Session 42: Couples Mindfulness Exercise –
    • In these 3 episodes we take a break from the usual strategies and tips to take a breath for us individually and as a couple. Being mindful is the art of remaining in the present moment non-judgmentally.  It can create peace, and calm and a more loving connection.    
  • Session 56: Projecting Past Hurts onto Your Partner – This episode is all about getting in touch with your mental state when it comes to the connection between your past and your present.  It is very common to be completely unaware that something that is happening in the present in your relationship feels worse than it really is because it is triggering a memory, a though, or an emotion that is connected to something that happened in your previous relationship.    
  • Session 93: How to Reframe Your Mind Toward Your New Family – We talk in this episode about how our brains are somewhat wired to what is called a Negativity Bias.  This means that we will tend to look more at the negative in situations. This really goes back to earlier times when are brains had to be alert for danger regarding say other animals.  We developed a rapid flight or flight response.  Unfortunately this can get activated very easily if we are not careful in simple conversations with our spouse.    

Resources:

  • Links to The Episodes are Above

 

Thanks For Listening!

  • With so many things that take time in our lives, I more grateful than you know that you took time to listen to this podcast episode. 
  • If you liked this episode and believe that it would be beneficial to a friend, family member, or colleague, please share it using the social media buttons on this page.
  • The Remarried Life Facebook Group is a community of people just like you who get and give support.  Please join today!  ​

As always remember that marriage is not something you have, it is something you do.  Talk to you next week unless you are binge listening in the future in which case I will talk to you in about a minute!  Take care.