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107: 3 Small Questions to Get Big Results in Your Relationship

The Remarried Life

Release Date: 09/10/2019

130: How to Change Your Mindset Toward Your Blended Family show art 130: How to Change Your Mindset Toward Your Blended Family

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer talks about the one thing we have control over in our blended family. That one thing is how we view what is happening around us. We can choose to think certain ways, but we are going to challenge those thoughts today. We hope you enjoy today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

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129: Valentines Day Remarriage  Family Traditions show art 129: Valentines Day Remarriage Family Traditions

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer talksin this episode about the Valentines Family traditions. Not only should Valentines Day celebrate each other as spouses but should incorporate the kids as well. We hope you enjoy today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

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128: Do You Have Voices In Your Head When Arguing With Your Spouse? show art 128: Do You Have Voices In Your Head When Arguing With Your Spouse?

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer talks about how an increase in disagreements and arguing can often be a result of some voices from your childhood. Feeling like you don’t measure up to your spouse or that your spouse does not care often will be magnified because someone in your past either said these things or made you feel this way. We will talk about this and what to do about it. We hope you enjoy today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

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127: How to Have the Best Family Meeting show art 127: How to Have the Best Family Meeting

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer talks about the dreaded family meeting. You have all kinds of chaos between your spouse, the ex-kids, the kids, and the stepkids. It probably feels like everyone is being pulled into many directions. Let’s talk about what to do and what not to do in a family meeting. We hope you enjoy today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

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126: Heap Burning Coals On Their Heads show art 126: Heap Burning Coals On Their Heads

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer talks about being nice to your family including your stepkids even when you feel like they don’t deserve. Heap burning coals on their heads is a biblical reference to doing kind things for your enemies. The burning coals is supposed to awaken those that you are being nice to how to act differently toward you. We hope you enjoy today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

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125: When Your Ex-Spouse's Parenting Style is Different show art 125: When Your Ex-Spouse's Parenting Style is Different

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer talks about what we have all been through and that’s dealing with an ex-spouse who runs a much different family dynamic or parenting style than you. Usually the differences center around the relationship with the children, rules like bedtimes, mealtimes, and homework. We will talk today about how to deal with this situation in the best way possible. We hope you enjoy today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.c

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124: Reduce Screen Time in Your Stepfamily show art 124: Reduce Screen Time in Your Stepfamily

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer talks about how technology, screen time, and social media can secretly and silently destroy your connection with your stepfamily. We will talk about this and some strategies to reduce this as an issue. We hope you enjoy today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

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123: Stop Making Assumptions About Your Partner show art 123: Stop Making Assumptions About Your Partner

The Remarried Life

Summary Brian Mayer talks about how the human brain will filter something the eyes see and the ears hear into something that maybe is not really there.  It is called making assumptions.  When we see our spouse say or do something, we will often unknowingly ascribe meanings that may or may not be true.  We will talk about this and what to do instead.  We hope you enjoy today’s message.  For more information and additional resources please visit our website at Today's Goodies   We all know the old cliché about what assumptions do?  That make a “blank”...

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122: Stepfamily Development – Part 3 The Later Stage show art 122: Stepfamily Development – Part 3 The Later Stage

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer over the next 3 weeks will be talking about the stages of stepfamily development. These stages were developed by Patricia Papernow, Ed.D. We will walk through the early stages in the first episode, the middle stages in the second episode, and the later stages in the third episode of this series. We hope you enjoy today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

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121: Stepfamily Development - Part 2 The Middle Stage show art 121: Stepfamily Development - Part 2 The Middle Stage

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer over the next 3 weeks will be talking about the stages of stepfamily development. These stages were developed by Patricia Papernow, Ed.D. The broad view of this series is to understand that there are steps that the life of the stepfamily will take and that patience is needed to see them all unfold. We hope you enjoy today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

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More Episodes

Brian Mayer talks about the little things in your remarriage and in your life that can get big results.  Big things in life often come from small beginnings.  Hurricanes start small and grow, pennies can turn into millions of dollars with time and proper investing, small runs can turn into marathons.  Just like these things it is the small things in your relationship that can turn into the big things.  We will talk about 3 little questions you can ask each other on a daily basis to feel more connected over time.  We hope you enjoy today’s message.  For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

Today's Goodies

  • You probably know this, but it’s the little things that can turn into big things.  We often think that if something isn’t big to start with then it isn’t worth doing.  Kind of like this podcast, we are now on episode #107 with a great Facebook community and lots of awesome things that people are telling me that result from this podcast, that I never thought were possible at episode #1. 
  • In the Western Hemisphere, Hurricanes start from gentle breezes across the Saharan desert in Africa.  And they can develop into monstrous storms that are large, have great winds and rain associated with them.  The largest hurricane even recorded was Typhoon Tip in 1961 that grew to almost 1400 miles in diameter.  Think about the U.S.  – From Richmond, VA to San Francisco is about 2900 miles.  So this typhoon or hurricane was about half the size of the U.S. 
  • At some point I invested my first dollar into my retirement account about 25 years ago.  Today it looks like I am on track to be able to retire with hopefully lots of life left.  However, if I took the stance that the pain of investing then was not worth it and that I would rather enjoy things now instead of later then I would not be in the position I am in.  Side note if you are not investing in your retirement, do a little now.  Every bit counts. 
  • How about did you know that the average honeybee produces about 1/12 of a teaspoon of honey in its lifetime.  That doesn’t sound like a lot and to us it might not be but to that bee at the end of its life that is a lot of honey.  Also think about going to your local grocery store and seeing all those jars of honey and how many bees it took.  They are all doing the little things to create something big. 
  • The same can be said of your relationship.  Sure your past relationships did not work out and yes maybe some big things happened like an affair or verbal abuse on your part or toward you.  But usually these things start from something small.  As I always say of course the person doing this actions is responsible for their behaviors, but maybe things started small into simply not being heard and understood and maybe one or both of you worked too much and had no life balance.  Whatever the reason for the divorce it probably started as something small. 
  • That is why in your current relationship you should focus on the small stuff.  Remember that popular book called, “Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff?”  Well in this case I would encourage to yes please sweat some of this by putting in an effort when it comes to the small things
  • Today my focus on the small stuff centers around 3 small questions when done regularly (hopefully every day) will get you some big results down the road.  So lets talk about those questions
  • 3 Big Questions to Ask Each Other Everyday (Make sure to focus on the things that happened that will have an impact on your relationship).
    • What did We Do Well Today?
    • What Could We Have Done Better Today?
    • What is One Thing I do not know about you?
  • These seem simple and they are.  If you ask them once or twice that can feel good and be a fun exercise but if you ask them over and over again you will hopefully start to see more change and connection happening in your relationship. 
  • The final question to ask yourselves though before you begin is “When should we ask each other these questions?”  This is of course up to you.  By their nature they probably should be asked at the end of the day or you could ask them in them morning as they pertain to the prior day, but do what you think will work for each of you and create the best chance for a habit. 

Resources:

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Thanks For Listening!

  • With so many things that take time in our lives, I more grateful than you know that you took time to listen to this podcast episode. 
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As always remember that marriage is not something you have, it is something you do.  Talk to you next week unless you are binge listening in the future in which case I will talk to you in about a minute!  Take care.