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107: 3 Small Questions to Get Big Results in Your Relationship

The Remarried Life

Release Date: 09/10/2019

157: Can You Be Friends With Your Ex? show art 157: Can You Be Friends With Your Ex?

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer talks about the possibilities of staying friends with your ex-spouse. And we don’t just mean friends, but can you actually be friends and stay in each other’s lives as friends. After all there are current spouse’s feelings and what the kids may or may not thinking about this to consider. We hope you are inspired by today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

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156: The Rashomon Effect on Your Remarriage show art 156: The Rashomon Effect on Your Remarriage

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer talks about the myth of perception becoming reality. We can often get stuck into believing the way we saw or experienced an event or an issue is the only way or the right way. Today we will talk about the Rashomon effect which is a term often used to describe how eyewitness accounts of an event can often be unreliable. We hope you are inspired by today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

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155: COVID-19 Differences With Your Ex-Spouse show art 155: COVID-19 Differences With Your Ex-Spouse

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer talks about how in this emotionally charged time we live in, how we can best handle differences in beliefs and feelings on the COVID-19 pandemic that could affect our children. This can be extremely difficult to work through especially if you both have rigid beliefs. We will talk about this issue and give some practical help in this area. We hope you are inspired by today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

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154: What is Emotional Infidelity? show art 154: What is Emotional Infidelity?

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer talks emotional infidelity. This is a very cloudy topic that many people don’t have a good handle on. With physical or sexual infidelity, the issue is very clear because it involves something that can be clearly seen. Today we will talk about how best to understand when this is an issue that needs to be dealt with in your relationship. We hope you are inspired by today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

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153: Put Your Oxygen Mask on First and Take Care Of Yourself show art 153: Put Your Oxygen Mask on First and Take Care Of Yourself

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer talks about taking care of yourself. In a blended family we often get pulled in so many directions that we exhaust ourselves to the point of upset and frustration. This episode to help give you permission to slow down and refresh. I am going to practice this and take a short break from the podcast of about 3 weeks and return refreshed! We hope you are inspired by today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

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152: Teach Your Blended Family to be Free by Judging Less show art 152: Teach Your Blended Family to be Free by Judging Less

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer talks about how judging others and being critical of others way of being can often lead to feeling of being trapped by your own anger. If you judge others then chances are also high that your bio kids and step kids may also begin to be weighed down by this as well. Today we will talk about freeing the entire family. We hope you are inspired by today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

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151: Remarriage Rehab - Part 3 New Behaviors show art 151: Remarriage Rehab - Part 3 New Behaviors

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer welcomes you to this 3 part series on renovating your remarriage. In part 1, we discuss how to be more aware of past issues that might be driving our reactions. In part 2, I discuss how our thought processes, distortions, and biases play a role in our connection. In part 3 I will discuss implementing new behaviors to complete the renovation. We hope you are inspired by today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.co

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150: Remarriage Rehab - Part 2 Reducing Cognitive Distortions show art 150: Remarriage Rehab - Part 2 Reducing Cognitive Distortions

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer welcomes you to this 3 part series on renovating your remarriage. In part 1, we discuss how to be more aware of past issues that might be driving our reactions. In part 2, I discuss how our thought processes, distortions, and biases play a role in our connection. In part 3 I will discuss implementing new behaviors to complete the renovation. We hope you are inspired by today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.co

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149: Remarriage Rehab Part 1 - Disconnecting From Your Past show art 149: Remarriage Rehab Part 1 - Disconnecting From Your Past

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer welcomes you to this 3 part series on renovating your remarriage. In part 1, we discuss how to be more aware of past issues that might be driving our reactions. In part 2, I discuss how our thought processes, distortions, and biases play a role in our connection. In part 3 I will discuss implementing new behaviors to complete the renovation. We hope you are inspired by today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.co

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148: 3 Easy Steps for Making Big Blended Family Decisions show art 148: 3 Easy Steps for Making Big Blended Family Decisions

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer discusses how big decisions don’t need to be complicated or difficult. Of course sometimes decisions themselves may take some time to weigh out we will talk about 3 steps you should take during the process of making a big decision. We hope you are inspired by today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

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More Episodes

Brian Mayer talks about the little things in your remarriage and in your life that can get big results.  Big things in life often come from small beginnings.  Hurricanes start small and grow, pennies can turn into millions of dollars with time and proper investing, small runs can turn into marathons.  Just like these things it is the small things in your relationship that can turn into the big things.  We will talk about 3 little questions you can ask each other on a daily basis to feel more connected over time.  We hope you enjoy today’s message.  For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

Today's Goodies

  • You probably know this, but it’s the little things that can turn into big things.  We often think that if something isn’t big to start with then it isn’t worth doing.  Kind of like this podcast, we are now on episode #107 with a great Facebook community and lots of awesome things that people are telling me that result from this podcast, that I never thought were possible at episode #1. 
  • In the Western Hemisphere, Hurricanes start from gentle breezes across the Saharan desert in Africa.  And they can develop into monstrous storms that are large, have great winds and rain associated with them.  The largest hurricane even recorded was Typhoon Tip in 1961 that grew to almost 1400 miles in diameter.  Think about the U.S.  – From Richmond, VA to San Francisco is about 2900 miles.  So this typhoon or hurricane was about half the size of the U.S. 
  • At some point I invested my first dollar into my retirement account about 25 years ago.  Today it looks like I am on track to be able to retire with hopefully lots of life left.  However, if I took the stance that the pain of investing then was not worth it and that I would rather enjoy things now instead of later then I would not be in the position I am in.  Side note if you are not investing in your retirement, do a little now.  Every bit counts. 
  • How about did you know that the average honeybee produces about 1/12 of a teaspoon of honey in its lifetime.  That doesn’t sound like a lot and to us it might not be but to that bee at the end of its life that is a lot of honey.  Also think about going to your local grocery store and seeing all those jars of honey and how many bees it took.  They are all doing the little things to create something big. 
  • The same can be said of your relationship.  Sure your past relationships did not work out and yes maybe some big things happened like an affair or verbal abuse on your part or toward you.  But usually these things start from something small.  As I always say of course the person doing this actions is responsible for their behaviors, but maybe things started small into simply not being heard and understood and maybe one or both of you worked too much and had no life balance.  Whatever the reason for the divorce it probably started as something small. 
  • That is why in your current relationship you should focus on the small stuff.  Remember that popular book called, “Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff?”  Well in this case I would encourage to yes please sweat some of this by putting in an effort when it comes to the small things
  • Today my focus on the small stuff centers around 3 small questions when done regularly (hopefully every day) will get you some big results down the road.  So lets talk about those questions
  • 3 Big Questions to Ask Each Other Everyday (Make sure to focus on the things that happened that will have an impact on your relationship).
    • What did We Do Well Today?
    • What Could We Have Done Better Today?
    • What is One Thing I do not know about you?
  • These seem simple and they are.  If you ask them once or twice that can feel good and be a fun exercise but if you ask them over and over again you will hopefully start to see more change and connection happening in your relationship. 
  • The final question to ask yourselves though before you begin is “When should we ask each other these questions?”  This is of course up to you.  By their nature they probably should be asked at the end of the day or you could ask them in them morning as they pertain to the prior day, but do what you think will work for each of you and create the best chance for a habit. 

Resources:

  • None

 

Thanks For Listening!

  • With so many things that take time in our lives, I more grateful than you know that you took time to listen to this podcast episode. 
  • If you liked this episode and believe that it would be beneficial to a friend, family member, or colleague, please share it using the social media buttons on this page.
  • The Remarried Life Facebook Group is a community of people just like you who get and give support.  Please join today!  ​

As always remember that marriage is not something you have, it is something you do.  Talk to you next week unless you are binge listening in the future in which case I will talk to you in about a minute!  Take care.