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114: Supporting Each Other's Passions

The Remarried Life

Release Date: 10/29/2019

130: How to Change Your Mindset Toward Your Blended Family show art 130: How to Change Your Mindset Toward Your Blended Family

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer talks about the one thing we have control over in our blended family. That one thing is how we view what is happening around us. We can choose to think certain ways, but we are going to challenge those thoughts today. We hope you enjoy today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

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129: Valentines Day Remarriage  Family Traditions show art 129: Valentines Day Remarriage Family Traditions

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer talksin this episode about the Valentines Family traditions. Not only should Valentines Day celebrate each other as spouses but should incorporate the kids as well. We hope you enjoy today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

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128: Do You Have Voices In Your Head When Arguing With Your Spouse? show art 128: Do You Have Voices In Your Head When Arguing With Your Spouse?

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer talks about how an increase in disagreements and arguing can often be a result of some voices from your childhood. Feeling like you don’t measure up to your spouse or that your spouse does not care often will be magnified because someone in your past either said these things or made you feel this way. We will talk about this and what to do about it. We hope you enjoy today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

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127: How to Have the Best Family Meeting show art 127: How to Have the Best Family Meeting

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer talks about the dreaded family meeting. You have all kinds of chaos between your spouse, the ex-kids, the kids, and the stepkids. It probably feels like everyone is being pulled into many directions. Let’s talk about what to do and what not to do in a family meeting. We hope you enjoy today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

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126: Heap Burning Coals On Their Heads show art 126: Heap Burning Coals On Their Heads

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer talks about being nice to your family including your stepkids even when you feel like they don’t deserve. Heap burning coals on their heads is a biblical reference to doing kind things for your enemies. The burning coals is supposed to awaken those that you are being nice to how to act differently toward you. We hope you enjoy today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

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125: When Your Ex-Spouse's Parenting Style is Different show art 125: When Your Ex-Spouse's Parenting Style is Different

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer talks about what we have all been through and that’s dealing with an ex-spouse who runs a much different family dynamic or parenting style than you. Usually the differences center around the relationship with the children, rules like bedtimes, mealtimes, and homework. We will talk today about how to deal with this situation in the best way possible. We hope you enjoy today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.c

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124: Reduce Screen Time in Your Stepfamily show art 124: Reduce Screen Time in Your Stepfamily

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer talks about how technology, screen time, and social media can secretly and silently destroy your connection with your stepfamily. We will talk about this and some strategies to reduce this as an issue. We hope you enjoy today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

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123: Stop Making Assumptions About Your Partner show art 123: Stop Making Assumptions About Your Partner

The Remarried Life

Summary Brian Mayer talks about how the human brain will filter something the eyes see and the ears hear into something that maybe is not really there.  It is called making assumptions.  When we see our spouse say or do something, we will often unknowingly ascribe meanings that may or may not be true.  We will talk about this and what to do instead.  We hope you enjoy today’s message.  For more information and additional resources please visit our website at Today's Goodies   We all know the old cliché about what assumptions do?  That make a “blank”...

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122: Stepfamily Development – Part 3 The Later Stage show art 122: Stepfamily Development – Part 3 The Later Stage

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer over the next 3 weeks will be talking about the stages of stepfamily development. These stages were developed by Patricia Papernow, Ed.D. We will walk through the early stages in the first episode, the middle stages in the second episode, and the later stages in the third episode of this series. We hope you enjoy today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

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121: Stepfamily Development - Part 2 The Middle Stage show art 121: Stepfamily Development - Part 2 The Middle Stage

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer over the next 3 weeks will be talking about the stages of stepfamily development. These stages were developed by Patricia Papernow, Ed.D. The broad view of this series is to understand that there are steps that the life of the stepfamily will take and that patience is needed to see them all unfold. We hope you enjoy today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

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Summary
Brian Mayer talks about supporting your partners passion’s in life.  Your relationship should be more than just coming together on the day to day grind of your relationship, work, parenting, dealing with ex spouses, and the rest of the day to day craziness.  It should be all about encouraging and supporting each other in what gives you individual happiness in life.  We hope you enjoy today’s message.  For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

Today's Goodies

  • The general definition passion is “intense zeal or enthusiasm or desire toward something or someone.”  For us Christians, it also applies to Jesus pain and suffering during his crucifixion and death.  His passion was toward “someone” namely saving you and me from a death that would end rather than what he paved the way for and it is for an eternity spent in heaven with him.   
  • There no doubt you have a passion in life.  It might be something you are indeed acting on or it may something that is lying dormant.  If it is dormant because your spouse is not encouraging you in this but actually discouraging you then this is something we need to talk about today.  Or maybe your spouse has a passion that you are not supporting.  Your relationship and life should include support for the individual passions you each have. 
  • This can be so difficult in a blended family.  So many day to day responsibilities including cooking, cleaning, helping the kids with homework, grocery shopping, dealing with exes, spending time with each other, time with friends and family can cause the days to just zip by and sometimes a feeling of emptiness because there is no balance for what you enjoy and love. 
  • What is it that you have a passion for?  Is it some activity alone like drawing or painting or some other craft?  Maybe you have thought about picking up the tennis racket or golf clubs.  What about taking a foreign language course?  What about a gourmet cooking class?  What about starting a travel blog that details your travels including the great places you have been, the great food you have tasted, or very tasty wines from around the world. 
  • Sometimes the reason we don’t start something we are passionate about is because we are too busy but sometimes it is because we are not supported.  I promise that if you support your partner in their passion and they in turn support you it can often mean amazing things for your relationship. 
  • The reason I am doing this podcast and this podcast episode is because there is a great deal of support for my and my wife’s passions.  My passion has been publishing a great podcast for those of us in remarriage and blended families.  Her passion is jewelry making. 
  • My wife has supported me in my podcast journey, by always being so positive about what I am doing and the topics I want to share.  She has even been so supportive that she has been a guest several times.  Those have been some of my favorite episodes for sure. 
  • The reason for this specific episode is that over the weekend my wife sold her jewelry in a second craft show.   I attended with her and offered support by helping her bring everything in, setting it up, ringing up sales, and conversing with customers.  She actually made 2.5 times the sales in this show that she did in the first show.  So all around was such a great show.  But most importantly it helped us both feel so much more connected in our relationship. 
  • So how can you both support each other in your passions?  Let’s talk about that now, but before we do I certainly understand that this can be tough.  I have talked to lots of couples that struggle with the other spouse spending “too much time” with a passion.  For example, I work with couples where the spouse usually the male enjoys hunting so much that he will go many weekends out of the year.  This can feel taxing on the spouse and so it will be hard in these instances to be supportive for sure.  So of course some balance is needed. 
  • Here are some ways to be supportive:
    • Be excited when your spouse wants to talk about what excites them.  For my wife it is all about jewelry making.  For me this is not my passion so it would be very easy to tune her out.  What I recommend in these instances is to focus on the excited emotion in your spouse rather than on the topic at hand. 
    • Offer to help in whatever way you can.  Maybe it isn’t like me where you offer to take an entire Saturday to spend it with her at a craft show (or maybe it is!) but maybe you offer to some small things to help get whatever the passion is off the ground.
    • Help take other things off their plate.  Maybe it means helping around the house more with cleaning or caring for the kids to help your spouse spend more time with their passion. 
    • Think about ideas you have you to make their passion even better.  For example maybe your spouse wants to get involved making a craft and selling it.  Maybe you are great with social media and have all sorts of ideas about social media and how that can impact your partner’s passion.      
    • Praise your spouse for something well done.  For example at the end of the craft show in which my wife did a great job selling her jewelry, I just hugged her, gave her high fives and just gushed over how proud I was of her and how I just thought she rocked it out. 
    • Be proactive and ask questions about your spouse’s passion.  Maybe your spouse has stalled out.  How great would it be for them if you asked what you could do to help. 
  • I hope this podcast episode has been helpful and gives you some ideas to implement to start supporting each other. I hear too many stories of couple not supporting each other in what makes them individually happy.  This can have a negative impact on the relationship for sure.        

Resources:

  • None Mentioned

Thanks For Listening!

  • With so many things that take time in our lives, I am more grateful than you know that you took time to listen to this podcast episode. 
  • If you liked this episode and believe that it would be beneficial to a friend, family member, or colleague, please share it using the social media buttons on this page.
  • The Remarried Life Facebook Group is a community of people just like you who get and give support.  Please join today!  ​

As always remember that marriage is not something you have, it is something you do.  Talk to you next week unless you are binge listening in the future in which case I will talk to you in about a minute!  Take care.