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118: [ENCORE] Food, Connections, and the Blended Family

The Remarried Life

Release Date: 11/26/2019

129: Valentines Day Remarriage  Family Traditions show art 129: Valentines Day Remarriage Family Traditions

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer talksin this episode about the Valentines Family traditions. Not only should Valentines Day celebrate each other as spouses but should incorporate the kids as well. We hope you enjoy today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

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128: Do You Have Voices In Your Head When Arguing With Your Spouse? show art 128: Do You Have Voices In Your Head When Arguing With Your Spouse?

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer talks about how an increase in disagreements and arguing can often be a result of some voices from your childhood. Feeling like you don’t measure up to your spouse or that your spouse does not care often will be magnified because someone in your past either said these things or made you feel this way. We will talk about this and what to do about it. We hope you enjoy today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

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127: How to Have the Best Family Meeting show art 127: How to Have the Best Family Meeting

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer talks about the dreaded family meeting. You have all kinds of chaos between your spouse, the ex-kids, the kids, and the stepkids. It probably feels like everyone is being pulled into many directions. Let’s talk about what to do and what not to do in a family meeting. We hope you enjoy today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

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126: Heap Burning Coals On Their Heads show art 126: Heap Burning Coals On Their Heads

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer talks about being nice to your family including your stepkids even when you feel like they don’t deserve. Heap burning coals on their heads is a biblical reference to doing kind things for your enemies. The burning coals is supposed to awaken those that you are being nice to how to act differently toward you. We hope you enjoy today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

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125: When Your Ex-Spouse's Parenting Style is Different show art 125: When Your Ex-Spouse's Parenting Style is Different

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer talks about what we have all been through and that’s dealing with an ex-spouse who runs a much different family dynamic or parenting style than you. Usually the differences center around the relationship with the children, rules like bedtimes, mealtimes, and homework. We will talk today about how to deal with this situation in the best way possible. We hope you enjoy today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.c

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124: Reduce Screen Time in Your Stepfamily show art 124: Reduce Screen Time in Your Stepfamily

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer talks about how technology, screen time, and social media can secretly and silently destroy your connection with your stepfamily. We will talk about this and some strategies to reduce this as an issue. We hope you enjoy today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

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123: Stop Making Assumptions About Your Partner show art 123: Stop Making Assumptions About Your Partner

The Remarried Life

Summary Brian Mayer talks about how the human brain will filter something the eyes see and the ears hear into something that maybe is not really there.  It is called making assumptions.  When we see our spouse say or do something, we will often unknowingly ascribe meanings that may or may not be true.  We will talk about this and what to do instead.  We hope you enjoy today’s message.  For more information and additional resources please visit our website at Today's Goodies   We all know the old cliché about what assumptions do?  That make a “blank”...

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122: Stepfamily Development – Part 3 The Later Stage show art 122: Stepfamily Development – Part 3 The Later Stage

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer over the next 3 weeks will be talking about the stages of stepfamily development. These stages were developed by Patricia Papernow, Ed.D. We will walk through the early stages in the first episode, the middle stages in the second episode, and the later stages in the third episode of this series. We hope you enjoy today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

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121: Stepfamily Development - Part 2 The Middle Stage show art 121: Stepfamily Development - Part 2 The Middle Stage

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer over the next 3 weeks will be talking about the stages of stepfamily development. These stages were developed by Patricia Papernow, Ed.D. The broad view of this series is to understand that there are steps that the life of the stepfamily will take and that patience is needed to see them all unfold. We hope you enjoy today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

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120: Stepfamily Development - Part 1 The Early Stage show art 120: Stepfamily Development - Part 1 The Early Stage

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer over the next 3 weeks will be talking about the stages of stepfamily development. These stages were developed by Patricia Papernow, Ed.D. The broad view of this series is to understand that there are steps that the life of the stepfamily will take and that patience is needed to see them all unfold. We hope you enjoy today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

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Summary
Brian Mayer talks about how food can play a significant role in your family bonding.  He certainly is talking about overeating, but more about the connection that food can bring.  We all need it, so why not make it fun.  For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com
Today's Goodies

  • Today we are going to talk about food.  We all love it, maybe sometimes a bit too much.  We all need it.  In fact in general most studies show we can go about 30 days and that’s it.  Most of us probably feel like we can’t even skip a meal let alone 30 days. 
  • Today we are going to talk about food and the way in which it connects people and more importantly a family. 
  • Before we talk about that here are some funny quotes surrounding food and people that I love: 
    • “There are only three things women need in life:  food, water, and compliments”  Chris Rock
    • “You better cut the pizza is four slices because I’m not hungry enough to eat six” Yogi Berra
    • “Food is not just eating energy.  It’s an experience.” Guy Fieri
    • “Anything is good if it’s made of chocolate” Jo Brand
  • Some of my favorite memories about growing up in blended family situations involved food. 
    • My mom made the best peanut butter fudge.  The creamiest, most sweet, most hearty thing on the planet.  To this day, I don’t really care too much for chocolate fudge, but peanut butter fudge is an entirely different story. 
    • My stepmom made lots of good meals but the one that stood out the most was probably the most simple.  She would put a hot dog on a piece of bread, put a slit down the middle, fill it with a slice of cheese, fold it together with a toothpick, and bake it in the oven.  I remember salivating as I watched the crust get golden brown and the cheese bubble. 
    • The first meal my wife ever cooked was chicken enchiladas.  You have no idea how much I appreciated this and how good it made me feel.  There was only one issue and in hind sight something I should never have brought up!  The chicken tasted like it might have been freezer burned.  I said something like I think something is wrong with the chicken, not realizing that she might take this to mean her cooking was the problem.  Needless to say I haven’t lived that one down. 
  • I’m sure you probably have lots of stories about how food has played a special part in your life.  Whether it be things about how you grew up or in your current family. 
  • Food often accompanies happy times like birthdays, weddings, anniversaries, graduations, and so many others milestone events. 
  • It’s also used as a comfort after funerals as well. 
  • There is just something about how food does unite us, and who doesn’t need that at this time in history when it feels like we are so divided. 
  • I would encourage you to make food a part of your family as a way to connect stepkids with each other, with the step parent and even with the biological parent. 
  • One way in which we did that involved my daughter as a teenager.  As I remember we would ask her to cook one meal a night and it could be something of her creation.  She made something with pork, green beans, coconut milk and some other spices and veggies.  It was delicious! 
  • What are you doing to use food as a way to connect each other?  Here are some ideas:
    • Just like we did, assign the kids especially if they are teenagers to cook one meal a week.  If you have more than one teen, you can have them do it together as a team or you could rotate and have a different child every week
    • Involve the kids in meal planning.  Give them some say in some of the foods you prepare.  Of course, you may not want to have gummy bears for dinner one night but see if they can come up with an idea for a tasty side dish.  Then name it after that child.  For example, maybe it’s Jacob’s Creamy Sweet Potato Casserole or Megan’s Cooked Carrots and Brown Sugar.  Feel free to be even more creative than that. 
    • If they come up with a meal or a side dish, then have them go with you to the store to buy the specific ingredients.  Talk to them about cost and amounts that are needed. 
    • Enroll your child into a kids cooking class.  These classes are designed to be fun and interactive.  A quick search on the internet will locate many of these especially if you live in a decent sized city.
    • Find a local farm that allows visits and gives tours so that kids better understand where the food comes from.
    • Visit a farmers market and have the kids pick out the fresh vegetables and fruits and other items needed to make dishes of theirs or your selections.     
  • Of course lots of kids give resistance when it comes to this idea, so make sure to make it as fun and interactive as you can.      

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Thanks For Listening!

  • With so many things that take time in our lives, I more grateful than you know that you took time to listen to this podcast episode. 
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  • ​As always remember that marriage is not something you have, it is something you do.  Talk to you next week unless you are binge listening in the future in which case I will talk to you in about a minute!  Take care.