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118: [ENCORE] Food, Connections, and the Blended Family

The Remarried Life

Release Date: 11/26/2019

158: Are You Only Staying in Your Marriage for the Kids? show art 158: Are You Only Staying in Your Marriage for the Kids?

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer talks about staying in an unhappy and unhealthy marriage because you don’t want your kids and stepkids to have to deal with another life altering change. Look I clearly get why you would do this and feel this but ultimately is it the right thing to do? We will talk about this important subject for blended families today. We hope you are inspired by today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

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157: Can You Be Friends With Your Ex? show art 157: Can You Be Friends With Your Ex?

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer talks about the possibilities of staying friends with your ex-spouse. And we don’t just mean friends, but can you actually be friends and stay in each other’s lives as friends. After all there are current spouse’s feelings and what the kids may or may not thinking about this to consider. We hope you are inspired by today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

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156: The Rashomon Effect on Your Remarriage show art 156: The Rashomon Effect on Your Remarriage

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer talks about the myth of perception becoming reality. We can often get stuck into believing the way we saw or experienced an event or an issue is the only way or the right way. Today we will talk about the Rashomon effect which is a term often used to describe how eyewitness accounts of an event can often be unreliable. We hope you are inspired by today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

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155: COVID-19 Differences With Your Ex-Spouse show art 155: COVID-19 Differences With Your Ex-Spouse

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer talks about how in this emotionally charged time we live in, how we can best handle differences in beliefs and feelings on the COVID-19 pandemic that could affect our children. This can be extremely difficult to work through especially if you both have rigid beliefs. We will talk about this issue and give some practical help in this area. We hope you are inspired by today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

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154: What is Emotional Infidelity? show art 154: What is Emotional Infidelity?

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer talks emotional infidelity. This is a very cloudy topic that many people don’t have a good handle on. With physical or sexual infidelity, the issue is very clear because it involves something that can be clearly seen. Today we will talk about how best to understand when this is an issue that needs to be dealt with in your relationship. We hope you are inspired by today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

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153: Put Your Oxygen Mask on First and Take Care Of Yourself show art 153: Put Your Oxygen Mask on First and Take Care Of Yourself

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer talks about taking care of yourself. In a blended family we often get pulled in so many directions that we exhaust ourselves to the point of upset and frustration. This episode to help give you permission to slow down and refresh. I am going to practice this and take a short break from the podcast of about 3 weeks and return refreshed! We hope you are inspired by today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

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152: Teach Your Blended Family to be Free by Judging Less show art 152: Teach Your Blended Family to be Free by Judging Less

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer talks about how judging others and being critical of others way of being can often lead to feeling of being trapped by your own anger. If you judge others then chances are also high that your bio kids and step kids may also begin to be weighed down by this as well. Today we will talk about freeing the entire family. We hope you are inspired by today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

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151: Remarriage Rehab - Part 3 New Behaviors show art 151: Remarriage Rehab - Part 3 New Behaviors

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer welcomes you to this 3 part series on renovating your remarriage. In part 1, we discuss how to be more aware of past issues that might be driving our reactions. In part 2, I discuss how our thought processes, distortions, and biases play a role in our connection. In part 3 I will discuss implementing new behaviors to complete the renovation. We hope you are inspired by today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.co

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150: Remarriage Rehab - Part 2 Reducing Cognitive Distortions show art 150: Remarriage Rehab - Part 2 Reducing Cognitive Distortions

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer welcomes you to this 3 part series on renovating your remarriage. In part 1, we discuss how to be more aware of past issues that might be driving our reactions. In part 2, I discuss how our thought processes, distortions, and biases play a role in our connection. In part 3 I will discuss implementing new behaviors to complete the renovation. We hope you are inspired by today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.co

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149: Remarriage Rehab Part 1 - Disconnecting From Your Past show art 149: Remarriage Rehab Part 1 - Disconnecting From Your Past

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer welcomes you to this 3 part series on renovating your remarriage. In part 1, we discuss how to be more aware of past issues that might be driving our reactions. In part 2, I discuss how our thought processes, distortions, and biases play a role in our connection. In part 3 I will discuss implementing new behaviors to complete the renovation. We hope you are inspired by today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.co

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Summary
Brian Mayer talks about how food can play a significant role in your family bonding.  He certainly is talking about overeating, but more about the connection that food can bring.  We all need it, so why not make it fun.  For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com
Today's Goodies

  • Today we are going to talk about food.  We all love it, maybe sometimes a bit too much.  We all need it.  In fact in general most studies show we can go about 30 days and that’s it.  Most of us probably feel like we can’t even skip a meal let alone 30 days. 
  • Today we are going to talk about food and the way in which it connects people and more importantly a family. 
  • Before we talk about that here are some funny quotes surrounding food and people that I love: 
    • “There are only three things women need in life:  food, water, and compliments”  Chris Rock
    • “You better cut the pizza is four slices because I’m not hungry enough to eat six” Yogi Berra
    • “Food is not just eating energy.  It’s an experience.” Guy Fieri
    • “Anything is good if it’s made of chocolate” Jo Brand
  • Some of my favorite memories about growing up in blended family situations involved food. 
    • My mom made the best peanut butter fudge.  The creamiest, most sweet, most hearty thing on the planet.  To this day, I don’t really care too much for chocolate fudge, but peanut butter fudge is an entirely different story. 
    • My stepmom made lots of good meals but the one that stood out the most was probably the most simple.  She would put a hot dog on a piece of bread, put a slit down the middle, fill it with a slice of cheese, fold it together with a toothpick, and bake it in the oven.  I remember salivating as I watched the crust get golden brown and the cheese bubble. 
    • The first meal my wife ever cooked was chicken enchiladas.  You have no idea how much I appreciated this and how good it made me feel.  There was only one issue and in hind sight something I should never have brought up!  The chicken tasted like it might have been freezer burned.  I said something like I think something is wrong with the chicken, not realizing that she might take this to mean her cooking was the problem.  Needless to say I haven’t lived that one down. 
  • I’m sure you probably have lots of stories about how food has played a special part in your life.  Whether it be things about how you grew up or in your current family. 
  • Food often accompanies happy times like birthdays, weddings, anniversaries, graduations, and so many others milestone events. 
  • It’s also used as a comfort after funerals as well. 
  • There is just something about how food does unite us, and who doesn’t need that at this time in history when it feels like we are so divided. 
  • I would encourage you to make food a part of your family as a way to connect stepkids with each other, with the step parent and even with the biological parent. 
  • One way in which we did that involved my daughter as a teenager.  As I remember we would ask her to cook one meal a night and it could be something of her creation.  She made something with pork, green beans, coconut milk and some other spices and veggies.  It was delicious! 
  • What are you doing to use food as a way to connect each other?  Here are some ideas:
    • Just like we did, assign the kids especially if they are teenagers to cook one meal a week.  If you have more than one teen, you can have them do it together as a team or you could rotate and have a different child every week
    • Involve the kids in meal planning.  Give them some say in some of the foods you prepare.  Of course, you may not want to have gummy bears for dinner one night but see if they can come up with an idea for a tasty side dish.  Then name it after that child.  For example, maybe it’s Jacob’s Creamy Sweet Potato Casserole or Megan’s Cooked Carrots and Brown Sugar.  Feel free to be even more creative than that. 
    • If they come up with a meal or a side dish, then have them go with you to the store to buy the specific ingredients.  Talk to them about cost and amounts that are needed. 
    • Enroll your child into a kids cooking class.  These classes are designed to be fun and interactive.  A quick search on the internet will locate many of these especially if you live in a decent sized city.
    • Find a local farm that allows visits and gives tours so that kids better understand where the food comes from.
    • Visit a farmers market and have the kids pick out the fresh vegetables and fruits and other items needed to make dishes of theirs or your selections.     
  • Of course lots of kids give resistance when it comes to this idea, so make sure to make it as fun and interactive as you can.      

Resources

Thanks For Listening!

  • With so many things that take time in our lives, I more grateful than you know that you took time to listen to this podcast episode. 
  • If you liked this episode and believe that it would be beneficial to a friend, family member, or colleague, please share it using the social media buttons on this page.
  • The Remarried Life Facebook Group is a community of people just like you who get and give support.  Please join today!
  • ​As always remember that marriage is not something you have, it is something you do.  Talk to you next week unless you are binge listening in the future in which case I will talk to you in about a minute!  Take care.