loader from loading.io

125: When Your Ex-Spouse's Parenting Style is Different

The Remarried Life

Release Date: 01/14/2020

157: Can You Be Friends With Your Ex? show art 157: Can You Be Friends With Your Ex?

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer talks about the possibilities of staying friends with your ex-spouse. And we don’t just mean friends, but can you actually be friends and stay in each other’s lives as friends. After all there are current spouse’s feelings and what the kids may or may not thinking about this to consider. We hope you are inspired by today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

info_outline
156: The Rashomon Effect on Your Remarriage show art 156: The Rashomon Effect on Your Remarriage

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer talks about the myth of perception becoming reality. We can often get stuck into believing the way we saw or experienced an event or an issue is the only way or the right way. Today we will talk about the Rashomon effect which is a term often used to describe how eyewitness accounts of an event can often be unreliable. We hope you are inspired by today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

info_outline
155: COVID-19 Differences With Your Ex-Spouse show art 155: COVID-19 Differences With Your Ex-Spouse

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer talks about how in this emotionally charged time we live in, how we can best handle differences in beliefs and feelings on the COVID-19 pandemic that could affect our children. This can be extremely difficult to work through especially if you both have rigid beliefs. We will talk about this issue and give some practical help in this area. We hope you are inspired by today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

info_outline
154: What is Emotional Infidelity? show art 154: What is Emotional Infidelity?

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer talks emotional infidelity. This is a very cloudy topic that many people don’t have a good handle on. With physical or sexual infidelity, the issue is very clear because it involves something that can be clearly seen. Today we will talk about how best to understand when this is an issue that needs to be dealt with in your relationship. We hope you are inspired by today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

info_outline
153: Put Your Oxygen Mask on First and Take Care Of Yourself show art 153: Put Your Oxygen Mask on First and Take Care Of Yourself

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer talks about taking care of yourself. In a blended family we often get pulled in so many directions that we exhaust ourselves to the point of upset and frustration. This episode to help give you permission to slow down and refresh. I am going to practice this and take a short break from the podcast of about 3 weeks and return refreshed! We hope you are inspired by today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

info_outline
152: Teach Your Blended Family to be Free by Judging Less show art 152: Teach Your Blended Family to be Free by Judging Less

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer talks about how judging others and being critical of others way of being can often lead to feeling of being trapped by your own anger. If you judge others then chances are also high that your bio kids and step kids may also begin to be weighed down by this as well. Today we will talk about freeing the entire family. We hope you are inspired by today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

info_outline
151: Remarriage Rehab - Part 3 New Behaviors show art 151: Remarriage Rehab - Part 3 New Behaviors

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer welcomes you to this 3 part series on renovating your remarriage. In part 1, we discuss how to be more aware of past issues that might be driving our reactions. In part 2, I discuss how our thought processes, distortions, and biases play a role in our connection. In part 3 I will discuss implementing new behaviors to complete the renovation. We hope you are inspired by today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.co

info_outline
150: Remarriage Rehab - Part 2 Reducing Cognitive Distortions show art 150: Remarriage Rehab - Part 2 Reducing Cognitive Distortions

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer welcomes you to this 3 part series on renovating your remarriage. In part 1, we discuss how to be more aware of past issues that might be driving our reactions. In part 2, I discuss how our thought processes, distortions, and biases play a role in our connection. In part 3 I will discuss implementing new behaviors to complete the renovation. We hope you are inspired by today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.co

info_outline
149: Remarriage Rehab Part 1 - Disconnecting From Your Past show art 149: Remarriage Rehab Part 1 - Disconnecting From Your Past

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer welcomes you to this 3 part series on renovating your remarriage. In part 1, we discuss how to be more aware of past issues that might be driving our reactions. In part 2, I discuss how our thought processes, distortions, and biases play a role in our connection. In part 3 I will discuss implementing new behaviors to complete the renovation. We hope you are inspired by today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.co

info_outline
148: 3 Easy Steps for Making Big Blended Family Decisions show art 148: 3 Easy Steps for Making Big Blended Family Decisions

The Remarried Life

Brian Mayer discusses how big decisions don’t need to be complicated or difficult. Of course sometimes decisions themselves may take some time to weigh out we will talk about 3 steps you should take during the process of making a big decision. We hope you are inspired by today’s message. For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

info_outline
 
More Episodes

Summary
Brian Mayer talks about what we have all been through and that’s dealing with an ex-spouse who runs a much different family dynamic or parenting style than you.  Usually the differences center around the relationship with the children, the rules like bedtimes, mealtimes, and homework.  We will talk today about how to deal with this situation in the best way possible.   We hope you enjoy today’s message.  For more information and additional resources please visit our website at http://www.theremarriedlife.com

Today's Goodies

  • Once you get divorced, you know that part of your child’s life that is spent with the other parent is likely to be very different than the way they spend their life with you. 
  • Sometimes the differences revolve around relationship and rules balance.  You might think that you have a nice balance of making sure your child knows you love and care about them but that there are also rules and expectations. 
  • Often you might feel like the rules and relationships is out of balance with your ex-spouse.  For some reason and I don’t have any data to back this up, but often I hear from folks that they feel like the ex-spouse favors relationship over rules. 
  • Hearing things like bedtimes are whenever they want to be is a common refrain.  Or maybe eating habits at the other home is less healthy. How about the kids being to watch whatever they want whenever they want is another very common issue.  
  • So great now what to do you do.  I’ll give a few helpful tips but the very short of all of this is that there may not be much you can do that will be effective in changing anything that is going on at the other parents home. 
  • Of course if you believe you children are being abused verbally, physically, or sexually then by all means of course you have to report that and get your children to safety. 
  • But if this is not present then here are some things you can do but once again be surprised if things change but expect that they won’t. 
  • Here are some tips and these are assuming you are able to speak to your ex-spouse:
    • First explain that the issues you want to discuss are a result of wanting the best for the children you both share. 
    • Explain that consistency is the best way that both sides can have an easier time with the transition.
    • Politely, ask if your children have trouble adjusting when they go to your ex-spouse’s home.  You can advise that there is trouble adjusting.  If there is trouble adjusting then it could be an easier discussion into what could help since there is trouble on both ends. 
    • Politely, ask you ex-spouse if the child’s bedtimes could remain consistent across both households.  Of course if weekends are a part of the child’s time at one or the other’s home then of course there may be days where it is different. 
    • Watch your anger because no doubt it will crop up.  If you let your anger get the best of you, it will often negate the advances you are trying to make. 
    • Ask your ex-spouse what you might be able to change on your end to make things better. 
    • Remember that all requests made by you or your ex-spouse can either be responded to in one of three ways.  They can be met completely, met with a compromise, or not met at all.  So once again keep this in mind when you are asking for something
  • Most of all good luck because sometimes it might feel like you are trying hit a moving target. 

Resources:

  • None Mentioned

Thanks For Listening!

  • With so many things that take time in our lives, I am more grateful than you know that you took time to listen to this podcast episode. 
  • If you liked this episode and believe that it would be beneficial to a friend, family member, or colleague, please share it using the social media buttons on this page.
  • The Remarried Life Facebook Group is a community of people just like you who get and give support.  Please join today!  ​

As always remember that marriage is not something you have, it is something you do.  Talk to you next week unless you are binge listening in the future in which case I will talk to you in about a minute!  Take care.