284 How to Stop People Pleasing and Break the Cycle of Co-Dependency
Your Hope-Filled Perspective with Dr. Michelle Bengtson podcast
Release Date: 09/19/2024
Your Hope-Filled Perspective with Dr. Michelle Bengtson podcast
Episode Summary: In this episode of the Sacred Scar Story Series on Your Hope-Filled Perspective, I had the opportunity to talk with Becky Beresford about a significant time in her life when things didn’t go as she hoped and meticulously planned. She experienced physical, emotional, relational, and spiritual pain. She shares how her first pregnancy was fraught with complications, leading to grief, loss, and deep wounds. Becky discusses how she learned to trust God through her struggles and how He brought healing, leaving her with beautiful sacred scars as a reminder of His...
info_outline 292 How a Mother Helped Her Child Find Healing from Depression, Anxiety, and Suicidal ThoughtsYour Hope-Filled Perspective with Dr. Michelle Bengtson podcast
Episode Summary: In this Sacred Scar Story, we hear from Lori Wildenberg who faced the unimaginable pain of nearly losing her daughter to depression, anxiety, and suicidal thoughts. She shares how her faith and God’s presence guided her through this dark journey, ultimately bringing healing to both her daughter and herself. This story of resilience and hope offers encouragement for anyone navigating similar struggles. Quotables from the episode: Wounds have to be uncovered and cleaned out before real healing can take place. With great pain often comes fear, which can paralyze us and...
info_outline 291 How to Find Freedom from Anger and Build Healthier Family Relationships Through FaithYour Hope-Filled Perspective with Dr. Michelle Bengtson podcast
Episode Summary: Our guest on this episode, Kathy Collard Miller, was raised by a very angry mother. The more Kathy tried to suppress her anger, the more it surfaced. Over time, Kathy found herself expressing her anger toward her husband and her daughter, and in her own words, abusing her daughter. Kathy shares her painful wounds in this episode, as well as the story of redemption and the beautiful sacred scars God has given her. Quotables from the episode: Sometimes when we talk about pain or wounds, that pain comes at the hand of another. Sometimes we have no explanation for why it happens...
info_outline 290 How to Pray in Faith and Release Control to God’s TimingYour Hope-Filled Perspective with Dr. Michelle Bengtson podcast
Episode Summary: Have you ever prayed fervently for something for years, or even decades and began to doubt that God would answer your prayers? My guest on today’s episode is Bunny Yekzaman who prayed for over 20 years for her Muslim husband to receive God’s gift of salvation. Her journey took a powerful turn when she learned to pray in faith and release control to God’s timing. Thought it was a painful time in her life, Bunny shares how God redeemed that pain, bringing beautiful sacred scars in place of her painful wounds. Quotables from the episode: Sometimes we...
info_outline 289 How to Navigate Gender Identity Issues with Faith and LoveYour Hope-Filled Perspective with Dr. Michelle Bengtson podcast
Episode Summary: In this episode, author, speaker, and mother, Jodi Howe, shares the painful wounds she has gone through as she has parented a child with gender identity issues. She shares the wisdom that God has granted her in how to remain true to the gospel of Jesus Christ, but still love her daughter. Quotables from the episode: Often God uses our most painful experiences to minister to others. The ultimate way to glorify the Lord is to turn our pain into power. My testimonies come from experience with anxiety, divorce, and having a transgender child. But He equips, He leads,...
info_outline 288 How to Move Forward After a Broken Engagement and Heal from Painful TrialsYour Hope-Filled Perspective with Dr. Michelle Bengtson podcast
Episode Summary: In this episode we continue the “Sacred Scar Story Series.” My guest, Georgia Shaffer, shares the pain of a broken engagement and what she thought that meant for her ministry and service to God. She shares the beautiful sacred scar that her wounds have produced, and how God is using her in the lives of others. Quotables from the episode: Shame from the actions of another made me feel like there was “something wrong with me!” I felt like a fool, and believed I was unlovable. Because of the pain I went through, I was sure God would never use me again....
info_outline 287 How to Overcome Shame and Find Healing After AbuseYour Hope-Filled Perspective with Dr. Michelle Bengtson podcast
Episode Summary: In this episode, Karen DeArmond Gardner opens up about the deep shame she experienced as a victim of domestic abuse in her thirty-year marriage. She shares the painful journey of living through abuse and the healing after abuse that transformed her life. Karen explains the key factors in her healing process, including how God replaced her pain and shame with sacred scars, giving her a powerful testimony of restoration and hope. Quotables from the episode: Some of our greatest areas of ministry comes out of our greatest areas of pain. I survived a thirty-year abusive...
info_outline 286 How to Cope with the Emotional Impact of Being a Mental Health CaregiverYour Hope-Filled Perspective with Dr. Michelle Bengtson podcast
Episode Summary: In this Sacred Scar Story, I chat with Carole Leathem, a mental health caregiver who founded a caregiving ministry after becoming the primary caregiver for her pastor husband who struggled with mental health issues, and later, her mother. Carole shares how she coped with the emotional impact of her caregiving journey, including the pain of being disqualified from ministry due to her husband's struggles. She opens up about the deep wounds she experienced and how God turned things around for good, transforming her scars into a powerful source of healing and service to...
info_outline 285 How to Heal from the Scars of Childhood PrejudiceYour Hope-Filled Perspective with Dr. Michelle Bengtson podcast
Episode Summary: This week’s guest on the Sacred Scar Story Series, Barb Roose, faced prejudice from early childhood. This led to her believing she was never enough and compensating by trying to “outperform her race.” She shares her story, and how she found healing, and God’s peace. Quotables from the episode: I love the message that God can use all things because when we’re in deep pain, that’s the opposite of what we’re thinking: that the pain becomes a limiting factor in our lives. In my particular story, this idea of wounding actually happened even before I...
info_outline 284 How to Stop People Pleasing and Break the Cycle of Co-DependencyYour Hope-Filled Perspective with Dr. Michelle Bengtson podcast
Episode Summary: Many of us unknowingly invest our time and energy seeking validation and acceptance from others, often at the cost of our own well-being. On this episode, I sat down with Aliene Thompson, founder of Treasured Ministries International, to discuss her journey through painful emotional wounds that led to co-dependency. She shares how God revealed these patterns to her and brought healing, turning her pain into sacred scars. Aliene shares how this transformation allows her to help others find freedom and healing in God’s love. Quotables from the episode: We will all go...
info_outlineEpisode Summary:
Many of us unknowingly invest our time and energy seeking validation and acceptance from others, often at the cost of our own well-being. On this episode, I sat down with Aliene Thompson, founder of Treasured Ministries International, to discuss her journey through painful emotional wounds that led to co-dependency. She shares how God revealed these patterns to her and brought healing, turning her pain into sacred scars. Aliene shares how this transformation allows her to help others find freedom and healing in God’s love.
Quotables from the episode:
- We will all go through painful experiences, but when we will give those painful wounds to our heavenly father, he will redeem and restore what was lost and bring beautiful sacred scars for them.
- I learned at an early age to perform to be perfect in order to receive love.
- Emotional wounds exist but are harder to see than physical wounds.
- Ugly words are equated with murder in Scripture, so Jesus validates emotional wounds from the words of others.
- When I came to the Lord, I learned I don’t have to perform in order to receive His love.
- I consistently found myself in a place of overwhelm, trying to please others.
- I used to be ashamed to share my weaknesses with others, but I learned it actually helped others.
- All of my works came tumbling down, and I struggled to understand how these works could be wrong.
- Codependency is really idolatry of man.
- Any time we have a lack of God dependency in our lives, God will not allow the idol to succeed.
- The enemy convinced me to soothe my emotional wounds through performance, people pleasing, and perfectionism, which is me looking to people to gain my worth and value, which led to a co-dependency crash.
- The enemy is not very creative. He always goes back to where he was successful before. So, if you have struggled with people pleasing, he will try to get you to please more people.
- An idol is putting something or someone ahead of God, but those idols will never satisfy.
- God fought for my heart. In his love for me, he would not let my idols win. I felt like I was being punished by God, but now I know it was Him fighting for my heart. He was freeing me. It was a pruning season out of love.
- What you bow down to, you will be bound to!
- God ushered me into my wilderness season. In the wilderness is where I learned God-dependency. That is where the healing came, and I learned to put God first. He is now all the validation I need.
- God was teaching the Israelites God-dependency before entering the Promised Land so that they would always remain dependent on Him.
- My promised land season was when called me back into ministry and had me teach more and brought healthy great friendships and relationships.
- I never want to spend one more day without God-dependency.
- Before Moses died, he looked into the Promised Land. God didn’t take him into the Promised Land, but Psalm 90 tells us that God was his home.
- Home with intimacy with God brought great healing.
- The deeper we go in our healing, the more quickly we recognize the efforts of the enemy and the more quickly we can run back to God and use the tools He has taught us.
- The wilderness season gave me the opportunity to return to my family as my top priority ministry. That was a beautiful piece of redemption. Our family is our greatest ministry.
- God also gave me the opportunity to see my pain wasn’t in vain. God gave me lessons that I could then share with other women, so I could comfort them.
- The enemy will use a half-truth and mix it with lies to us. But God gives us complete truth.
- God always has a greater plan, that we are often not even aware of. But if you will trust God, he can turn your situation all around and use it for good, as a beautiful sacred scar.
- Loss is not the end of your story. For every child of God, endings are beginnings. Loss is often the beginning of life.
Recommended Resources:
- Sacred Scars: Resting in God’s Promise That Your Past Is Not Wasted by Dr. Michelle Bengtson
- The Hem of His Garment: Reaching Out to God When Pain Overwhelms by Dr. Michelle Bengtson
- YouVersion 5-Day Devotional Reaching Out To God When Pain Overwhelms
- Today is Going to be a Good Day: 90 Promises to Start Your Day Off Right by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the AWSA 2023 Inspirational Gift Book of the Year Award, the Christian Literary Awards Reader’s Choice Award in four categories, and the Christian Literary Awards Henri Award for Devotionals
- YouVersion 7-Day Devotional, Today is Going to be a Good Day
- YouVersion 7-Day Devotional, Today is Going to be Another Good Day
- Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises by Dr. Michelle Bengtson
- Breaking Anxiety’s Grip Free Study Guide
- Free 7-Day YouVersion Bible Reading Plan for Breaking Anxiety’s Grip
- Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award
- Hope Prevails Bible Study by Dr. Michelle Bengtson, winner of the Christian Literary Award Reader’s Choice Award
- Trusting God Through Cancer 1
- Trusting God Through Cancer 2
- Revive & Thrive Women's Conference
- Subdue Stress and Anxiety: Fifteen Experts Offer Comprehensive Tools in Ten Minutes a Day. Use my link plus discount code BENG99 to save $90 on course (course will be $99.)
- Free Download: How To Fight Fearful/Anxious Thoughts and Win
Social Media Links for Guest and Host:
Connect with Aliene Thompson:
Website / Facebook / Instagram / YouTube
For more hope, stay connected with Dr. Bengtson at:
Order Book Breaking Anxiety’s Grip / Order Book Hope Prevails / Website / Blog / Facebook / Twitter (@DrMBengtson) / LinkedIn / Instagram / Pinterest / YouTube
Guest:
Aliene Thompson, is the founder of Treasured Ministries and the creator of the Nourish Bible Study Method and the author of the Nourish Bible Study Series. Aliene describes herself as a biblical soul strategist, which means that she helps women transform their lives by changing their approach to Bible study and by educating them on how timeless biblical truths heal soul hurts. She is passionate about helping women uncover how timeless biblical truths heal soul hurts. Aliene is a graduate of the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill with a Bachelor of Arts degree in communication studies.
Hosted By: Dr. Michelle Bengtson
Audio Technical Support: Bryce Bengtson