You Were Made for This
One of the more popular topics from past episodes has been the story of Gail Rohde who was adopted as an infant, and her search as an adult for her birth mother. Then several years after finding her, she searched for her birth father - and found him, too. I’ll have links to those episodes at the bottom of the show notes. It can be a relational minefield in dealing with the dynamics of adoptees wanting to know where they’ve come from, especially when it’s been hidden from them. I have a similar story about searching for my birth father that I wrote about in my book, THEM. ...
info_outline 214: People Are Like HousesYou Were Made for This
A listener once suggested that for a podcast episode I should read from the book I wrote in 2016, THEM- The Richer Life Found in Caring for Others. It’s about relationships, which of course, is what this podcast is about. But I don’t know if reading from it would interest many of you. Maybe the first chapter might, I don’t know. It’s about how people are like houses when it comes to deepening our relationships with others. But before we get into today’s episode, here’s what this podcast is all about. Welcome to You Were Made for This If you find yourself wanting more from...
info_outline 213: Five Things to Watch for in Your Next ConversationYou Were Made for This
One thing on my mind lately is a question about the meaningful conversations we sometimes have with friends, and what makes them different from other conversations. I started thinking about this while reading news articles about the Super Bowl played earlier this month. Meaningful conversations and the Super Bowl don’t quite seem to fit together, but they do in my mind. Keep listening and I’ll explain the connection in today’s episode, number 213. Welcome to today’s episode Maybe they’ve always done this, I don’t know, but it seems that sports journalists lately are using a...
info_outline 212: Little Things We Do Matter the Most to PeopleYou Were Made for This
The older I get the more I’ve come to appreciate how it’s the little things we do for people that matter most to them. Little things that come naturally for us because of how God uniquely made us, I’ve got a few stories for you today to illustrate this point. Stories that I hope will inspire you to bless others in ways that are easy and natural for you. But before we get into today’s episode, here’s what this podcast is all about. Welcome to You Were Made for This If you find yourself wanting more from your relationships, you’ve come to the right place. Here you’ll...
info_outline 211: A Men’s Breakfast Like No OtherYou Were Made for This
A men’s breakfast can be fun and still have a greater purpose than eating and conversation. When organized with a larger objective in mind it can be a great way to bless people and a means to live out the Gospel. Today’s episode is about my Men with Waffles breakfast and the impact it had on others not even in the room. Especially women. Breakfast with a friend A few weeks ago my friend Randy was in town for the Christmas holiday. We used to go to the same church, but his job change meant a move to Pittsburgh. He and his wife are still closely connected with friends they have back in...
info_outline 210: Word of the Year for 2024 - CuriousYou Were Made for This
CURIOUS. It’s my pick for the 2024 Word of the Year. Curious. It’s an important relational skill we need to help us deepen our relationships with others. Today’s episode is about what happens when we’re not curious about people, and what we can do about it to strengthen our relational curiosity muscles that will enrich our relationships. But before we get into today’s episode, here’s what this podcast is all about. Welcome to You Were Made for This If you find yourself wanting more from your relationships, you’ve come to the right place. Here you’ll discover...
info_outline 209: The Christmas Story In 2023You Were Made for This
When you get right down to it, the only thing that really matters in the Christmas story in 2023 is Jesus. No Santa, gifts, or Bing Crosby. Just Jesus. Here's the original story as recorded in Luke's Gospel, just as it happened. I am reading from The Message, by Eugene Peterson. Luke 2: 1-20 The Birth of Jesus About that time Caesar Augustus ordered a census to be taken throughout the Empire. This was the first census when Quirinius was governor of Syria. Everyone had to travel to his own ancestral hometown to be accounted for. So Joseph went from the Galilean town of Nazareth up to...
info_outline 208: Christmas - A Time to ReflectYou Were Made for This
There are many cultural dimensions to all that is Christmas. Pick your favorite. I have a few that I look forward to every year. But as I get older, I’m seeing Christmas more as a great time to reflect on my relationship with Jesus. In Luke’s gospel, for example, I’m especially drawn to the mother of Jesus, Mary, and how she reflects upon the birth of her son and all that it means to her, both in the present and the future. There are things we can learn from Mary as she takes time to reflect on this most important event in all of history. Welcome to You Were Made for This If you...
info_outline 207: How to Help the People We Love At ChristmasYou Were Made for This
In the 1947 classic Christmas film It’s a Wonderful Life!, George Bailey, played by Jimmy Stewart, goes through a tough time during Christmas in dealing with two serious financial problems caused by someone else. This most beloved and joyful man in all of Bedford Falls is overcome with depression, anger, hopelessness, and despair. In the midst of all this, George’s wife, Mary, steps in and shows us how to help the people we love when they are in a dark place, especially at Christmas It’s what today’s episode is all about. But before we get into today’s episode, here’s what...
info_outline 206: Thankful for the Stories of OthersYou Were Made for This
The Thanksgiving holiday will soon be upon us here in the US, so I’ve been reflecting on what I’m thankful for. And this year I’m thinking about things that goes beyond my family and good health. In considering this, I’ve come to realize that I’m especially thankful for the stories of others. That’s because I’ve found that the stories of what other people have experienced often lift me out of myself. Listening to what others have been through, both good and bad, and how those experiences shaped them into the person they are today, have a way of neutralizing the difficulties...
info_outlineI can’t seem to get last week’s episode #32 out of my mind. The one where I mention that if we know what we’re made for, it will answer the question, what am I here for? What is my purpose in life?
I made the case that we were made for relationships, using the acronym T.H.I.S., to describe how in more detail.
Relationships that: T-Transcend our natural inclination to focus on self, that H-honor others as we strive to bring out the best in people, where we I-initiate by reaching out beyond ourselves, and where we S-selflessly serve other people. We are made for T.H.I.S.
This past summer I saw all of these relationship elements played out one evening at a family camp in the north woods of Wisconsin. Let me tell you what happened.
We’ve been going each summer to this family camp, Forest Springs, for almost 20 years. I’ll have a link to Forest Springs in the show notes
We have meetings each evening at camp and one night, the executive director’s wife, Karen, got up and told the story of a chance meeting with a woman by the name of Sarah on the way to the dining hall several weeks ago. Karen said I just happened to ask Sarah, “Tell me your story as to why you are here.”
She went on to say,
“I was so taken by Sarah’s story I asked if she would email it to me, which she did later that afternoon. It so captivated me that I thought you would like to hear her story first-hand.”
And with that Sarah walked up on stage to the applause of about 200+ people in the room. She began sharing her story by explaining how important this camp was to her as a kid, and how she and her two siblings grew in their faith in Jesus by coming to camp each summer. It was the highlight of the year for all of them.
She went on to explain that she’s a a single mom with 3 young kids, one of whom is her 7-year-old son, Levi.
She told about Levi’s spina bifida, his constant pain, 17 back operations, and a recent diagnosis of another rare and incurable spinal disease that leaves her son in constant pain. Given that his life expectancy is a short one, she and her 10 year-old son want Levi him to have the same camp experience they had and to grow in his faith in Jesus like they’ve been able to do.
We need to do whatever we have to get him to camp. Made sacrifice with his schedule.
They came to day camp. They were allowed to stay over night given they lived 3½ hours way. Sarah took off work
Sarah went on and on about how meaningful camp was in light of Levy’s illness and the benefit they all received from this camp experience.
- Very emotional presentation by a mom fighting for her son and thanking camp for joining her in that fight.
- Appealed to the family campers to continue supporting the ministry of camp.
- Not a dry eye in the house. So much compassion for this woman
- Half the room of 200+ Adults stood up and applauded when she finished.
- People came up to Sarah afterwards and surrounded her.
What a great story. But for me, it didn’t stop there.
_______________________
The backstory, and the one that captivated me the most was how the story even got started, with what led up to her sharing her story. It was what Karen did.
It all started with Karen asking Sarah to “Tell me your story.” and then listening to it. So often we ask people to tell us something about them, and we don’t let them finish and we interrupt and tell OUR STORY as it relates to theirs. Not so with Karen.
As a result, those 200+ people in the audience where moved and grew to appreciate the love of this single mom for her disabled son. They grew to . what camp was doing to care for her and her son..
In addition, Sarah was encouraged by the response. When you’re going through a rough time, it really helps when people know what you’re going through, even though there’s not a thing they can do about it.
As a result, the family campers came to realize, or were reminded that because of their support of this camping ministry, they were part of something much bigger than themselves.
And in the end, God was glorified as he saw his children caring for each other
______________________
Karen’s question to Sarah, “Tell me your story,” brought me back to a vivid memory of several years back when Janet and I visited friends in England who run a missionary care ministry.
Went to Stratford-on-Avon one day. Visited the Shakespeare museum.
Shakespeare wrote 38 plays, 154 sonnets, 118,406 lines, 884,647 words.
9 of these words were chosen to welcome people into the Shakespeare Museum in Stratford-on-Avon, England
“I long to hear the story of your life.” The Tempest, Act 5, scene 1
Of all the words and lines the museum director could have chosen, he chose these 9. They must be very important. Incredible!
Here’s what I learned from this story, and I hope what you learn too. It applies to not just new relationships, but the current ones we have as well.
- In relationships, if we look hard enough, a transcendent pearl of beauty can emerge right before our very eyes. It’s the “T” in T.H.I.S. that we talked bout last week in episode 32
Karen asking Sarah about her story, transcends our inclination to be wrapped up in ourselves, to talk rather than listen.
The invitation to tell her story, transcended Sarah’s normal way of relating by keeping her deepest pain and fear and hope for her son to herself. Her situation is not something we normally relate in initiating with a stranger, like Karen was at the time.
Sarah’s explaining the hope she has for her son in the midst of his unimaginable suffering is the hope found only in Jesus. Her hope and desire for her son transcends her circumstances.
2. In addition to the transcendent aspect of Sarah’s story, there’s two examples of honoring others. The “H” in T.H.I.S.
Karen honoring Sarah by wanting to know her story. It communicates that what I’m going through matters to people. They won’t be able to fix what’s wrong in my life, but wanting to know takes the edge off things. It means I’m not going through life alone. And that’s an honor when people join us on the path we’re assigned to walk down.
Sarah honoring the ministry of Forest Springs and its mission of telling people about Jesus and drawing people to him.
3. Relationships are a lot about observing and being curious about what you see. It’s to inquire about what is happening in front of our eyes. It’s the “I” in T.H.I.S. Karen initiated with Sarah by inquiring “Tell me your story.”
Then she followed up with her story by asking her to email her story to her later in the day. And there’s another “I” in this example, and that is “Inspire.” Karen’s inquiry led to Sarah given the stage to share her story with 200+ adults that night. It was clear, Sarah didn’t want to draw attention to herself, but rather to draw attention to the mission of the camp, and to inspire people to support it and appreciate it because it draws people to Jesus. That was why it was such an emotional prevention that moistened the eyes of most people the room.
4. Finally, there is such selfless-service to this story. It’s the “S” in T.H.I.S.
Karen selflessly initiating with Sarah. There was nothing in it for Karen. For her to draw out Sarah
Karen serving the family campers that night by having Sarah share her inspiring story.
It all focused on pointing people to Jesus.
All in all it’s a great example of You Were Made for T.H.I.S.
I saw first-hand how this incident made Karen come alive. She’s so full of life anyway, but this story filled her joy tank to over flowing. Imagine what can happen to the rest of us living down in the valley, under dark bushes, wrapped up tightly in our blankets of self-focus.
Imagine if we looked for some measure of transcendence in our relationships with people, if we honored people by initiating with them and inquiring into their lives to serve them.
We can all do this, you know. So let’s give it a try!
Before I close, here’s the he main take-away from today’s episode, our show in a sentence
It’s amazing what can happen when we simply ask people “Tell me your story.”
Here’s a way you can respond to today’s show
Ask someone, in some form or another, to tell you their story. It can take the form of:
I’d like to know your story. Then, “tell me more.”
I’d like to know how this goes for you. I’m sure your fellow listeners would too. Drop me an email with what happens and I’ll share it on a future episode.
Coming up next week
Our first interview of Season 2 comes up next week. I’ll be interviewing Stacey Brown Randall on the relationship issues when we take other people’s children into our home, raise them, and absorb them into our family.
Relationship quote of the Week
If you really listen to what people say, they will tell you everything. - Rick Rubin
Closing
I am so glad you joined us today in this faith community of people who care about transforming their relationships into the best they can be. Who care about showing to the world the character of Jesus through their relationships. I’m so glad you are one of us.
Always remember what you were made for. You were made for
Relationships that: Transcend our natural inclination to focus on self, that Honor others as we strive to bring out the best in people, where we Initiate by reaching out beyond ourselves, and where we selflessly serve other people. We were made for T.H.I.S.
Resources mentioned in today’s show
Forest Springs Camp and Conference Center
Episode 32 - What Am I Here for? What is My Purpose in Life?