You Were Made for This
One of the more popular topics from past episodes has been the story of Gail Rohde who was adopted as an infant, and her search as an adult for her birth mother. Then several years after finding her, she searched for her birth father - and found him, too. I’ll have links to those episodes at the bottom of the show notes. It can be a relational minefield in dealing with the dynamics of adoptees wanting to know where they’ve come from, especially when it’s been hidden from them. I have a similar story about searching for my birth father that I wrote about in my book, THEM. ...
info_outline 214: People Are Like HousesYou Were Made for This
A listener once suggested that for a podcast episode I should read from the book I wrote in 2016, THEM- The Richer Life Found in Caring for Others. It’s about relationships, which of course, is what this podcast is about. But I don’t know if reading from it would interest many of you. Maybe the first chapter might, I don’t know. It’s about how people are like houses when it comes to deepening our relationships with others. But before we get into today’s episode, here’s what this podcast is all about. Welcome to You Were Made for This If you find yourself wanting more from...
info_outline 213: Five Things to Watch for in Your Next ConversationYou Were Made for This
One thing on my mind lately is a question about the meaningful conversations we sometimes have with friends, and what makes them different from other conversations. I started thinking about this while reading news articles about the Super Bowl played earlier this month. Meaningful conversations and the Super Bowl don’t quite seem to fit together, but they do in my mind. Keep listening and I’ll explain the connection in today’s episode, number 213. Welcome to today’s episode Maybe they’ve always done this, I don’t know, but it seems that sports journalists lately are using a...
info_outline 212: Little Things We Do Matter the Most to PeopleYou Were Made for This
The older I get the more I’ve come to appreciate how it’s the little things we do for people that matter most to them. Little things that come naturally for us because of how God uniquely made us, I’ve got a few stories for you today to illustrate this point. Stories that I hope will inspire you to bless others in ways that are easy and natural for you. But before we get into today’s episode, here’s what this podcast is all about. Welcome to You Were Made for This If you find yourself wanting more from your relationships, you’ve come to the right place. Here you’ll...
info_outline 211: A Men’s Breakfast Like No OtherYou Were Made for This
A men’s breakfast can be fun and still have a greater purpose than eating and conversation. When organized with a larger objective in mind it can be a great way to bless people and a means to live out the Gospel. Today’s episode is about my Men with Waffles breakfast and the impact it had on others not even in the room. Especially women. Breakfast with a friend A few weeks ago my friend Randy was in town for the Christmas holiday. We used to go to the same church, but his job change meant a move to Pittsburgh. He and his wife are still closely connected with friends they have back in...
info_outline 210: Word of the Year for 2024 - CuriousYou Were Made for This
CURIOUS. It’s my pick for the 2024 Word of the Year. Curious. It’s an important relational skill we need to help us deepen our relationships with others. Today’s episode is about what happens when we’re not curious about people, and what we can do about it to strengthen our relational curiosity muscles that will enrich our relationships. But before we get into today’s episode, here’s what this podcast is all about. Welcome to You Were Made for This If you find yourself wanting more from your relationships, you’ve come to the right place. Here you’ll discover...
info_outline 209: The Christmas Story In 2023You Were Made for This
When you get right down to it, the only thing that really matters in the Christmas story in 2023 is Jesus. No Santa, gifts, or Bing Crosby. Just Jesus. Here's the original story as recorded in Luke's Gospel, just as it happened. I am reading from The Message, by Eugene Peterson. Luke 2: 1-20 The Birth of Jesus About that time Caesar Augustus ordered a census to be taken throughout the Empire. This was the first census when Quirinius was governor of Syria. Everyone had to travel to his own ancestral hometown to be accounted for. So Joseph went from the Galilean town of Nazareth up to...
info_outline 208: Christmas - A Time to ReflectYou Were Made for This
There are many cultural dimensions to all that is Christmas. Pick your favorite. I have a few that I look forward to every year. But as I get older, I’m seeing Christmas more as a great time to reflect on my relationship with Jesus. In Luke’s gospel, for example, I’m especially drawn to the mother of Jesus, Mary, and how she reflects upon the birth of her son and all that it means to her, both in the present and the future. There are things we can learn from Mary as she takes time to reflect on this most important event in all of history. Welcome to You Were Made for This If you...
info_outline 207: How to Help the People We Love At ChristmasYou Were Made for This
In the 1947 classic Christmas film It’s a Wonderful Life!, George Bailey, played by Jimmy Stewart, goes through a tough time during Christmas in dealing with two serious financial problems caused by someone else. This most beloved and joyful man in all of Bedford Falls is overcome with depression, anger, hopelessness, and despair. In the midst of all this, George’s wife, Mary, steps in and shows us how to help the people we love when they are in a dark place, especially at Christmas It’s what today’s episode is all about. But before we get into today’s episode, here’s what...
info_outline 206: Thankful for the Stories of OthersYou Were Made for This
The Thanksgiving holiday will soon be upon us here in the US, so I’ve been reflecting on what I’m thankful for. And this year I’m thinking about things that goes beyond my family and good health. In considering this, I’ve come to realize that I’m especially thankful for the stories of others. That’s because I’ve found that the stories of what other people have experienced often lift me out of myself. Listening to what others have been through, both good and bad, and how those experiences shaped them into the person they are today, have a way of neutralizing the difficulties...
info_outlineRelationships are often built upon what we learn from others who share their stories with us. We grow when their story becomes part of our story, so we then have something to pay it forward to others. Listen in to learn how.
I’ve been thinking more about last week’s episode #21 “The Most Important Relationship of All.” It was about a story told to me when I was 19 that set me on the path I’ve been following ever since. I can’t imagine how my life would have turned out if it were not for that story.
What my friend Carol told me on April 4, 1968 was part of her story, which came from the man she calls “Pops” and his wife - and their story. I’m the beneficiary of hearing this same relationship story people have been passing along to others for the last 2,000 years.
When the stories of others have so impacted a person’s life, like they did for me, what are we to do with that? Do we just sit on this blessing, or do we pay it forward? We pay it forward would be my answer. But the answer raises 3 questions. Why do we pay it forward? How do we pay it forward? and When do we pay it forward?
Listen in to the rest of the show for the answers to these three questions: Why? How? and When?
I have always found the term “pay it forward” a bit odd. It doesn’t roll off the tongue easily and just seems an awkward phrase to me.
So I did a little bit of research and found that “Pay it Forward” is defined as “When a recipient of an act of kindness does something kind for someone else, rather than just accepting or repaying the original good deed.”
Well moving on, the term was most likely coined in 1916 by author Lily Hardy Hammond in her novel In the Garden of Delight, where she wrote: “You don’t pay love back; you pay it forward.” Science Fiction author Robert Heinlein is credited with popularizing the term in his 1951 book Between Planets.
The term “Pay it Forward” became more popular in 2000 with a movie by the same name staring Kevin Spacey and Helen Hunt, based on a 1999 novel by Catherine Ryan Hyde. Hyde later established the Pay It Forward foundation, which in 2007 inspired National Pay It Forward Day on April 28th.
Now that would be the day to be on Oprah’s TV show for sure.
All this is probably more background information than you care to know. So let’s move on to Why do we pay it forward with our story? How do we do it? When do we do it?
Why do we pay it forward with our story?
We share the stories that have profoundly impacted our lives because we want other people to experience the benefits we’ve experienced from these stories, because we care about people. We want the best for them. We don’t lose anything by sharing with others what we’ve gained from others sharing their story with us. It’s not a zero-sum game. If we don’t care enough to want this for other people, then we don’t fully understand the story shared with us. If we don’t care, then we need to go back hear the story again so we fully understand its implications. We pay it forward because we care. We pay it forward because it’s just the right thing to do.
How do we pay it forward?
It starts with being true to the story ourself, whatever that impactful story may be. By living out the story with honesty and integrity. We don’t have to live it out perfectly, but we must live it with intentionality. We pay it forward by experiencing growth within us that’s nurtured by the stories others share with us. We pay it forward by telling AND by showing. I’ll share an example in a little bit.
When do we pay it forward?
Short answer: When the time is right. The time is never right when it’s all about feeding our ego. The time is never right when we’re looking to get something in return, when our goal is to be paid back. The time is right when God makes it clear to us. When we feel him nudging us. When we sense the person we’re paying it forward to might be receptive to our story becoming part of their story.
Here’s a brief story that hopefully will illustrate all this. It comes from my book THEM I’ve mentioned to you before. It’s just a few paragraphs I’ll read.
[THEM; bottom of page 83 to the bottom of page 84]
Before I close, here’s the he main take-away from today’s episode, our show in a sentence
When we’ve been blessed by people sharing their life-life-changing stories with us, we’ll find great fulfillment when we pay it forward by sharing our own life-changing stories with others.
Here’s a way you can respond to today’s show
What story has greatly impacted your life that you could pay it forward? Who comes to mind that you think would be receptive to your story? If no one comes to mind, ask God to help you be on the look out for someone.
Coming up next week
I’m still thinking about the relationship quote of the week from last week’s episode, #021 “The Most Important Relationship of All.” It reads,
We need to remind each other of our own stories.
We’ll be examining this idea next week in episode #23. I hope you tune in then.
Closing
In wrapping up today’s episode, may others pay forward onto you the impactful relationship stories in their life. And may you then do the same with others.
And Now Here’s our Relationship Quote of the Week
Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forward.
- Soren Kierkegaard
Well that’s it for today’s show. See you next week. Bye for now.
Resources mentioned in today’s show