Mistress Wellbeing

Perfectionism? Imposter Syndrome? Anxiety? Workaholism? These are often the price for successful women. Come join me as I explore all aspects of psychological wellbeing so that you can overcome the 'four horsemen' signalling the road to burnout. Together we will do more than feel better, we will learn how to find joy and aliveness in every moment, so that work, family and relationships become vibrant, rich and rewarding.

Finding Your Creative Flow 12/07/2023

Finding Your Creative Flow EnglishHow many of us have blocked our creative flow because of a negative experience decades ago? The singing teacher who told you to mouth the words. The art teacher who told you cows weren't green. The English teacher who pulled apart your essay. Today I'm inviting you to rekindle your own unique creative flow, because it is a deep store place of wellbeing. Self-expression in any form can be expansive, uplifting and exciting, when we can work with awareness through the deeply held, negative beliefs which hold us back. /episode/index/show/leiladavis/id/28981493

The Gifts of Solitude 11/22/2023

The Gifts of Solitude How much time do you spend in solitude, silence and stillness? I don't spend much. In fact I've been actively seeking community over the last few years. But when I do allow myself to get quiet, something happens where I feel more connected to my Self and to Nature. It's a quandary because stillness always invites the messy bits of my life to emerge front and centre. I can't hide from the difficult emotions of sadness, grief, and guilt in the quiet. But I know there's a sweet spot on the other side of them. Come explore solitude with me today. /episode/index/show/leiladavis/id/28574393

How to Find Your Bliss 11/15/2023

How to Find Your Bliss I’ve had a growing epiphany over the last few months about the effort required to create joy. Joseph Campbell is famous for saying, “Follow your bliss”, and I took it to be simple and easy. It’s not. It takes effort, will, determination and often the ability to work through dark emotions like despair, frustration and doubt. I guess that’s why Campbell also wrote so much about the hero’s journey. So today, join me as we journey through what it takes to find your bliss and how you might make those first steps. /episode/index/show/leiladavis/id/28517249

How Thoughts Become Things 11/08/2023

How Thoughts Become Things This is not a new age meme. It’s highly practical, logical and very real. Stay with me! Would you like to unlock a secret way to make shift happen in your life? Start visualising what you want with feeling and engagement. Really bring it to life. In your mind. Because your thoughts and feelings are powerful creators of reality. So next time your mind wants to slide into worry, regret and fear, stop. Imagine the opposite, the outcome you could only dream about, and build that possibility in your mind. Make it a practice and watch your life change towards the reality you set for yourself. /episode/index/show/leiladavis/id/28517204

Allowing Transformation 11/02/2023

Allowing Transformation Sometimes comfort zones are not so comfortable. They're just familiar. It's easy to go on in an uncomfortable, familiar way for years and even decades, but when you look back there might be sadness, regret, anger or resentment. Today I'm exploring my own recent transformation, shedding parts of my life which had become heavy and uncomfortable, embracing new, lighter ways of being, and giving myself permission for more joy. After all, my life is about me as well as other people! /episode/index/show/leiladavis/id/28503110

Embrace Your Complexity 10/19/2023

Embrace Your Complexity How do you do life? How do you show up most of the time? Our Psyche is an interesting, complex thing which yearns for integration and wholeness, and today I'm exploring the concept of 'parts'. It is liberating to recognise that I choose to show up as the caring doctor most of the time, but there are other parts of me longing for expression. Integrating all aspects of the self is a lifelong, rewarding process which you can start right now! /episode/index/show/leiladavis/id/28371272

Your Woundedness is Your Giftedness 10/11/2023

Your Woundedness is Your Giftedness I used to feel that I was indelibly stamped with sadness and grief. I didn't even know where it had sprung from. All I knew was a deep pain and the shame that accompanied it. This is what I hear from my clients very often, and as I reflect on my twenty years as a therapist, it's clear that my healing was linked directly to the healing of my clients. When I started the long journey of healing - which is never finished- and realised what my story offered me, I opened to its richness and understood this counterintuitive notion that my woundedness was my giftedness. The metaphor of the lotus rising through mud helps us understand our situation, and to seek the cool water, which is the right condition for flourishing. /episode/index/show/leiladavis/id/28293269

How to Listen to Your Needs and Rekindle Joy 10/04/2023

How to Listen to Your Needs and Rekindle Joy I used to power on at the expense of my wellbeing all the time. I was handy with a mental whip to lick myself into shape and get the job done. But here's the thing. My productivity was poor when I engaged in this behaviour because at its core was self denial and harshness. It was a barren desert. Thankfully, the last twenty years have taught me so much about self compassion, and how to become more creative and productive while also enjoying the journey. Find out how to be kind and joyful while powering to the top with this mindset shift. /episode/index/show/leiladavis/id/28228286

How to Rewrite Your Rules for Life 09/26/2023

How to Rewrite Your Rules for Life Each of us formulates a set of unconscious 'rules' or beliefs about ourselves and the world, which shape behaviour and, ultimately, the outcome of our lives. Here's a powerful experiment for you to try at home, to release yourself from the limiting beliefs about yourself and the way you show up in the world. If you want to unhook from rigidity and desensitisation, and build more lightness, joy and fun in life, this exercise is a great start. /episode/index/show/leiladavis/id/28152737

Find Your Abundant Mindset 09/21/2023

Find Your Abundant Mindset How do you shift from lack to abundance? It's easier than you think, and it has nothing to do with physical things. It's a mental attitude first, and the things come second. Join me to explore abundance mindset, and try a short guided visualisation at the end which will support your shift from lack to plenty. /episode/index/show/leiladavis/id/28100048

How to Interrupt Anxiety 09/12/2023

How to Interrupt Anxiety Does anxiety blight your life? It can take hold like a weed and build momentum so easily. Today, I have a powerful anxiety interruption tool to share with you. Anxiety is like allowing what you don't want to grow and flourish in your mind and consequently, in your life. But it also gives you a clue about what you DO want! I'll bet what you want is the exact opposite of what you worry about, so here's the hack. When you notice yourself worrying, stop and ask, 'What is it I want?' Now repeat what you want in the present tense as if it's actually happening. There's your mantra, and if you use it every time you worry, life will unfold differently. /episode/index/show/leiladavis/id/28015641

Don't Let the Program Create Your Life 09/05/2023

Don't Let the Program Create Your Life How life evolves is a direct expression of our feelings, beliefs, and thoughts. That's a scary idea! Especially as our conscious mind only contributes to 5% of what we feel, believe and think. What I think of as 'Me' is just the tip of the iceberg Freud described, and underneath is the greater 95% of the unconscious mind. This is where conditioning from our life experiences resides, in ideas which rarely rise to the surface of conscious awareness, yet influence everything from our attitude to money to our day-to-day health. And not just our experiences live here. Also, the experiences from at least three generations before us have taken up residence and are impacting the way our contemporary life unfolds. Interested? I am, because these epigenetic changes in our DNA which affect gene expression and give rise to the stories we tell ourselves can shift when we work with them. I refer you to Mark Wolynn's excellent book, 'It Didn't Start With You', which is eminently readable and may just change your life. So today on the pod I'm exploring this idea, and giving you some tools to work with this unconscious imprinting so you can liberate yourself from the limiting beliefs and stories from the past. /episode/index/show/leiladavis/id/27951186

Your Home Practice is Unique 08/31/2023

Your Home Practice is Unique I've been practising yoga at home for the past three months, and today I'm exploring the variety of ways this can support you. During lockdown, I completed a 200 hr yoga teacher training and I teach on my retreats and one to one. I really enjoy teaching, and have created my unique way to create classes which support inward turning and reflection, while moving the body through poses which allow it to decompress. The after effects of yoga never cease to amaze me! I feel calm and energised, centered and still, strong and balanced. So today I'm exploring how my home practice has become a varied delight to suit how I'm feeling and what I need each day. Between meditation, mantra, pranayama, yin, restorative and vinyasa, there's a lot to choose from, so let's dive in and see how a home practice might support you too! /episode/index/show/leiladavis/id/27899991

Letting Go- How to Do it Kindly 08/23/2023

Letting Go- How to Do it Kindly Are you holding onto an identity that no longer serves you? Often it's a part of your identity which has taken a lot of time, effort and money to win. Like me with my Medical Registration. I graduated in 1987 and I've been registered as a doctor ever since. Till now. The time is upon me to release this part of my life, so that other, new, exciting opportunities can flood in. Today I'm exploring how to do this with self compassion and kindness, so that life can flow and emerge organically in the true direction of your desire. /episode/index/show/leiladavis/id/27826692

Use Your Energy Well 08/15/2023

Use Your Energy Well Have you ever become really excited about an idea for a creative project, a business, a holiday, or an adventure, and then come crashing down because it all becomes too overwhelming? It's a thing, and I call it, 'The Speed Wobble'. Today I'm exploring this phenomenon and how to ground yourself so that the speed wobble doesn't derail your excitement and drive. Because when you can hold the energy of excitement in your body, you can do great things! Knowing how to ground your energy will support you to have those wild ideas and take them to fruition, so you can be all you may be. /episode/index/show/leiladavis/id/27764835

Don't Be Hostage to Your Mind 08/07/2023

Don't Be Hostage to Your Mind 🔸 Don't Be a Hostage of Your Mind 🔸 I often find my mind chasing what I desire and avoiding what I fear, causing a lot of suffering. I want to break free from this cycle and experience peace, love, and joy, but my mind is very persistent! It's programmed to seek pleasure, attaching itself to what I like, and trying to avoid anything unpleasant. It's like being trapped in a loop of craving and aversion, where I never feel satisfied, and really, there is no peace. When I allow my desires and fears to rule my mind, it creates a sort of "hell realm" within me, where I miss out on fully experiencing life. I end up burdened by unfulfilled desires and unsubstantiated fears. Psychotherapy is a powerful way to understand this judgemental, grasping, unsatisfied nature of mind and gently stepping away from its grip. If you want to break free from the mind's stronghold, gain clarity, and experience profound tranquility and confidence, psychotherapy can be a powerful step on the journey. /episode/index/show/leiladavis/id/27676953

How to Re-Vitalise Your Life 07/31/2023

How to Re-Vitalise Your Life Embracing experimentation. Getting unstuck A year ago, I took up ceramics. In a very experimental way. I had little belief that there was much artistry inside me after years of giving myself the message, “I can’t draw”. Has anyone out there had a similar experience? Here’s what happened. I felt driven but lost. 😱 I wanted to achieve and realised it was about playing. I turned a joyful light thing into work 😂 (there’s a pattern!) I pressed on and explored new things. I felt down hearted as much as uplifted by the process of birthing a new part of me. I found a community to share the struggle and the failures and the success. /episode/index/show/leiladavis/id/27609777

Wellbeing Myth-Busting 07/24/2023

Wellbeing Myth-Busting Wellbeing Myths explored in this episode, 🌻Your happiness is entirely within your control. 🌻It’s not what happens to you, it’s how you make meaning of those events. 🌻 It’s not betrayal to move beyond your family story 🌻 You’re not destined to be depressed/anxious because it’s in your family 🌻 Giving feels better than receiving. What can you give that feels comfortable, easy, and fun? 🌻 Those sad, negative self views may not be true 🌻 If a thought isn’t helpful, you can replace it with a more uplifting one. /episode/index/show/leiladavis/id/27546279

It's Completely Free 07/18/2023

It's Completely Free It’s completely free. 🥰 What am I talking about? Nothing is completely free!! But this is. A sense of inner wellbeing. And when it’s topped up and fizzing over, life is so good. It builds momentum in an upward spiral. When I feel good, I choose a healthy lunch, go for a walk, do yoga. When it’s on empty, not so much. I’m having a nearly empty day today. It happens. But I know how to fill up my tank. It’s completely free and just requires my awareness and a few minutes of time. What do you do when your well-being gauge is negative? Here are my go-to tips. /episode/index/show/leiladavis/id/27503388

Make Your Midlife Shift 07/09/2023

Make Your Midlife Shift Hit your mid-forties? Maybe even fifty? Are you noticing that building career, wealth and status is no longer satisfying, and you’re hungry to reconnect with your values and bring meaning to your life? If so, I’m excited for you. Because midlife is the time for making exactly this shift, it’s a different season of life. The change involves recognising that you’re done with ego building, you’ve explored the economics of enough, and you’re ready to incorporate a new metric into your life. It’s the metric of wellbeing and creating what brings you joy. Because Mother Nature isn’t messing around. You won’t be here forever. /episode/index/show/leiladavis/id/27413466

Better to Light a Candle than Curse the Darkness 07/03/2023

Better to Light a Candle than Curse the Darkness I turned on a light instead of cursing the darkness. Every day for the last 28 days I’ve committed to a short practice of yoga, chanting and breath work. On my own. In my room. To create abundant wellbeing for myself and my family. You see, as I arrived home at midnight from five weeks overseas, one of my boys had a seizure. He’s epileptic, but normally well controlled. It means he can’t drive for three months. He can’t apply for jobs needing a licence. It could be a big impediment, just as he’s finishing his studies and venturing out into the world. So I decided I needed to reframe and turn towards the light. I'm exploring this on the podcast today. /episode/index/show/leiladavis/id/27352704

Developing Anxiety Tolerance 06/26/2023

Developing Anxiety Tolerance I did something last week that made me excited and scared. I offered a mantra evening at my local yoga studio. I sang. Played guitar. Held the space. In a group of twenty-five people, most of whom I’d never met before. I did it because I wanted to share something I love, which I know can touch others deeply. I really connected with my fear of being seen in the beginning - heart racing, breathless- but I managed to stay and breathe, and gradually the energy shifted to a calm, enjoyable place. Fear and excitement have exactly the same physiological signature. Developing my fear tolerance allowed it to transform into excitement, vitality, and aliveness. Have you had this experience of stepping out of your comfort zone and transforming fear? It's on the podcast today! /episode/index/show/leiladavis/id/27263343

An End to Over-Functioning 06/19/2023

An End to Over-Functioning Over functioning women and under functioning men. I have my own story of this AND I see it all the time in my work with professional women. I know how easy it is to become trapped in a situation which causes so much resentment and pain, and I also know how to bring change to the situation gently and safely. It’s really one of the biggest issues for many professional women. It can start small, but the gap becomes wider and wider if you don’t address it. You do all the housework You do all the cooking You have the homework under control You both go to work. The conversations can be difficult, and often start from the POV of asking for help. But actually, these are conversations which build intimacy and trust in your relationship while inviting him to do life better. Join me for more. /episode/index/show/leiladavis/id/27188646

Don't Waste a Good Crisis 06/14/2023

Don't Waste a Good Crisis Are you a professional woman experiencing an emotional crisis? Low mood, anxiety, a sense of despair and no way out. If this is you I want to tell you two things You’re not alone. The demands of work and family combined with your drive for perfectionism creates an impossible strain. It’s entirely human, and not a sign of weakness or vulnerability. Use this experience wisely. It’s inviting you to withdraw, do a piece of awareness work and find support to move your life forward to a much better place. The French have a term for it. Withdraw to jump better. Listen in to today's episode for more. /episode/index/show/leiladavis/id/27115629

The Past Doesn't Define You 06/12/2023

The Past Doesn't Define You I threw coins in the Trevi fountain. I visited the Villa San Michele. I drank lemon cello spritz in Amalfi. I had a holiday! Italy and France were wonderful and I’m so glad to be home after five weeks away. And I've been reflecting on how the past doesn’t have to define us. And it doesn’t create our future unless we let it. I heard a great story recently originally told by Alan Watts. If you imagine your life as a boat, and you stand at the back looming down into the water, you will see the wake. It’s where you’ve been, but it doesn’t drive the boat. What drives your life is the present moment energy and direction you give yourself. Like the motor of the boat. If like me, stories form the past sometimes engulf and threaten you, it’s good to remember this, and I'm exploring it on the podcast today. /episode/index/show/leiladavis/id/27115494

What are Your Rules for Life? 05/30/2023

What are Your Rules for Life? ‘I should be a better mother.' 'I must keep my house tidy and clean at all times.' 'There must always be home cooked cake.' 'I should work harder.' 'I should eat only nutritious food.' 'I should exercise every single day.' 'I should try harder.' 'I should be better at marketing my business.’ There’s a few of mine to be going on with. Writing that list is strangely relieving and also gut clenching. All these principles are active in me, and they’re not unworthy goals, it’s just that they constantly reaffirm that I’m not ok as I am. I somehow need to ‘earn’ worthiness by performing each of these tasks. Every day. It’s psychologically exhausting. What are your rules? Take a moment and write them down. The musts and the must nots. It’s eye opening, and sometimes a little shocking. Join me for more. /episode/index/show/leiladavis/id/26667933

Do You Discount the Positive? 05/23/2023

Do You Discount the Positive? When I first came across Martin Seligman and his ideas about happiness it was a game changer as I was so deeply mired in my own negative thinking styles. I thought it was how I was wired 😂 Here’s the good news! We can change. Our minds are infinitely neuroplastic. Mind gym is possibly more important than body gym 😱 Rare in the world of psychology, there is good quality evidence for the practice of, ‘Three things that went well’. When we do it we feel better. Life becomes lighter and we increase our mental wealth. So I invite you into the practice of overturning the minds negativity bias and spending five minutes (or more) every day searching for the positive. /episode/index/show/leiladavis/id/26666997

Catastrophising- Unhelpful Thinking Style #3 05/16/2023

Catastrophising- Unhelpful Thinking Style #3 Doe you sometimes leap to the worst possible outcome for a situation? Does your mind like to scare you with exaggerated and terrible possibilities? MIne too. It's called catastrophising, and it's very common. Naturally, anxiety is fuelled by this type of thinking and mood is also affected, resulting in a perfect storm for further catastrophising. Medical students know this syndrome well, as I read pathology books I had every disease described...or at least the beginnings of them.... Join me today as we dive deeply into what it is and how to interrupt the process. /episode/index/show/leiladavis/id/26621952

Unhelpful Thinking Styles Series - Magical Thinking 05/09/2023

Unhelpful Thinking Styles Series - Magical Thinking Undoing these thinking habits will make you happier, emotionally healthier, and more joyful. Here's my example of magical thinking... Some aspects of my perfectionism about work had a magical quality to it, I realise now. If I dressed correctly (like doctors do), had good hair and always turned up on time, nothing could go wrong. I’d somehow be making myself safe. It made me anxious and harried every morning getting to work. I was tense and tight inside as I dressed and brushed my teeth, not noticing the beautiful morning light, rushing to get on my bike, counting down the minutes it would take me to get into town. I’m not suggesting that you go to work in your pyjamas or turn up an hour late. But I am advocating for being professional from a different place. Joy. Join me on the podcast. /episode/index/show/leiladavis/id/26445924

Unhelpful Thinking Styles Series - Black and White Thinking 05/02/2023

Unhelpful Thinking Styles Series - Black and White Thinking I’m no CBT advocate, but thinking which fuels anxiety and misery is a real thing and an easy place to shift. When I read about ‘cognitive distortions’ years ago, I could relate to most of them 😂. Happily, psychotherapy provides a compassionate container for change at a deep level, which also affects rumination and all these unhelpful thinking styles, and I’ve done a lot in my time, with success! Here’s an example of black and white thinking in response to a poor outcome. ‘I never get things right. Things never go well for me. I always fail. There’s nothing I can do about it.’ As I write these statements, I feel a clenching in my gut at the finality and negativity involved. As well as the lack of self compassion. (I’ve learned!) They give us nowhere to go, no way out. Join me on the podcast as we explore how to build awareness and shift to more supportive thinking. /episode/index/show/leiladavis/id/26445675

Mistress Wellbeing

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