Too Dumb for Games

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2d4g 40: Agent Hunter Quickplay 07/27/2017

2d4g 40: Agent Hunter Quickplay Travis and Paul were taking a little nap, so Jaccob and Nick do another quickplay episode and play a tiny little AEG game called all by themselves. Agent Hunters, it turns out, is a nice little card counting game. It's really quick, it's cheap, and you'll probably enjoy it once or twice. It's like a candy bar at check out, but for game stores. Anyways, enjoy this little short form episode! Facebook: Twitter: Episodes: /episode/index/show/toodumbforgames/id/5585760

2d4g 39: Drunk Jenga: Consequenga 07/06/2017

2d4g 39: Drunk Jenga: Consequenga Do you know what makes Jenga 1000x times better? The mind of Travis Abshear, and drinking, and party game rules, that is what. We play a game of Travis' own creation: Consequenga! Consequenga is a game about friendship, and breaking ice, and getting weird with your pals at parties. The Jenga pieces have numbers on the bottom, and when you draw a piece, you have to follow a rule matching your number. It's kind of like Captain Dickhead, or whatever you call it, only way more interesting. Travis gets pretty tipsy. Everyone reveals their deepest fears. Someone knocks over a tower. Facebook: Twitter: Episodes: /episode/index/show/toodumbforgames/id/5513750

2d4g 38: Clamp to the Future (Back to the Future Game) 06/22/2017

2d4g 38: Clamp to the Future (Back to the Future Game) We played the , and learned what "88 gigawatts of fun" feels like. It feels a lot like playing an awful cash grab of a board game, turns out. Do you remember all the times that Marty and Doc Brown murdered future and past versions of themselves and used their own time-blood as fuel for the Delorian? Because this game sure does use that as its primary mechanic. None of us could quite recall those parts of the movie, so I guess it's about time for a re-watch? Facebook: Twitter: Episodes: /episode/index/show/toodumbforgames/id/5473264

2d4g 37: ICPlease Help Me (Into the Echoside) 06/05/2017

2d4g 37: ICPlease Help Me (Into the Echoside) The Insane Clown Posse made a game. It's called We played it. Nick has too many layers of clown makeup caked to his face to ever scrape it off, Jaccob murdered Travis with a hatchet in ritual sacrifice to the 12 faced Joker god, Paul was sent to hell after being judged a sinner in the Tunnel of Love at the Dark Carnival, and Travis pounds Faygo with his homies in Shangri La. The game was actually pretty all right. Nice job ICP. Facebook: Twitter: Episodes: /episode/index/show/toodumbforgames/id/5421437

2d4g 36: 2d4g in the Black Lodge (Twin Peaks Murder Mystery Game) 05/23/2017

2d4g 36: 2d4g in the Black Lodge (Twin Peaks Murder Mystery Game) Turns out somebody made a Twin Peaks board game back in the early 90s. Season 3 just started, and it's our duty to unearth this weird cultural artifact. But maybe we should've just left it in the box. Travis, Nick, Paul, and Jaccob are now trapped in the Red Room. The game is a trap, perfectly crafted to be the worst board game we've ever played, and damning its players to an eternity in the Black Lodge. We'll see you in your dreams. Facebook: Twitter: Episodes: /episode/index/show/toodumbforgames/id/5383286

2d4g 35: Dreadful Pirates (Dread Pirate) 05/15/2017

2d4g 35: Dreadful Pirates (Dread Pirate) We've returned to Nick's collection of childhood games again, with , a game by Steve Edmiston and Front Porch Classics! Nick, Paul, Travis, and Jaccob compete to be the most dreadful pirate in a fantastical Caribbean analog! There are so many vibrantly colored beads and small metal coins, and you get to put them into vibrantly colored faux-velvet pouches! Everything here is so beautiful! It's a shame it's just not very good though. Facebook: Twitter: Episodes: /episode/index/show/toodumbforgames/id/5358821

2d4g 34: Of Fifth Elements & Testosterone (Adrenaline) 05/02/2017

2d4g 34: Of Fifth Elements & Testosterone (Adrenaline) We've got Czech Games Edition (well, not the people [we'll get the people someday], but their game) in the studio this week, with ! Adrenaline is a first person arena shooter distilled into board game form! Paul plays a reptilian, Travis becomes that blue opera alien from the Fifth Element, Nick's a fun loving murderbot, & Jaccob becomes generic space marine. Bloodshed and friendship ensue, and CGE, as always, makes some of the best games around. Facebook: Twitter: Episodes: /episode/index/show/toodumbforgames/id/5321094

2d4g 33: Poop Quickplay (Poop: The Game) 04/18/2017

2d4g 33: Poop Quickplay (Poop: The Game) Oh man it's another Too Dumb for Games QUICKPLAY ft. , and Jaccob and Travis! Have you ever thought to yourself, gee, Uno would really be a lot better without the colors, but with poop jokes instead? No? I guess there were enough people out there thinking exactly that thought, because Poop: the Game got Kickstarted and found its way onto our shelf, into our hands, and into your ears. Poop is everywhere. We're sorry. Facebook: Twitter: Episodes: /episode/index/show/toodumbforgames/id/5277793

2d4g 11: 2 Furious 4 Games Remaster (Fast & the Furious: Full Throttle) 04/15/2017

2d4g 11: 2 Furious 4 Games Remaster (Fast & the Furious: Full Throttle) Here's a remaster of our review of the Fast & the Furious board game to celebrate the release of Fate of the Furious, featuring way better editing! This week, Jaccob, Travis, Paul, and Nick get right up in one of the greatest film franchises of all time: Fast and the Furious. That is correct, there is a Fast and the Furious board game. Why? Your guess is as good as ours, but wow is it fun. Facebook: Twitter: Episodes: /episode/index/show/toodumbforgames/id/5269068

2d4g 32: Eight Epics of Granola (Eight Epics) 04/05/2017

2d4g 32: Eight Epics of Granola (Eight Epics) This week we play , by Seiji Kanai! We also goof up just about every fact about the game's development, so, uh, oops. Eight Epics is a game about math, and dice, with a theme draped over it! It's also a game that inspires obsessive discussion about the myriad benefits of regular, unstoppable granola consumption, so if you're a granola fan, check it out. If you're a fan of Seiji Kanai, this game, or people who know things about board games, beware, because we actually didn't like this one very much. Facebook: Twitter: Episodes: /episode/index/show/toodumbforgames/id/5237482

2d4g 31: Eldritch Fingers (Pointing Fingers) 03/20/2017

2d4g 31: Eldritch Fingers (Pointing Fingers) Travis went thrifting and brought us back something called Pointing Fingers, from Hasbro. Guess we have to play it. Pointing Fingers is a game that alleges to be a "hilarious game of who did what." We found it to be more of a very bad, boring game that inspires discourse on the proper useage of modal verbs, and difficult and terrifying metaphysical thought experiments. I certainly won't spoil anything for you, dear listener, but I'll just leave an image of the box art below and you can guess if Hasbro's assertions about its game are correct. Facebook: Twitter: Episodes: /episode/index/show/toodumbforgames/id/5184051

2d4g 30: Space Hunks (Space Hulk: Death Angel Card Game) 03/06/2017

2d4g 30: Space Hunks (Space Hulk: Death Angel Card Game) Too Dumb for Games is back with ! Astartes, don your power armor and get ready to get sweaty in a highly homoerotic and deadly expedition into card games about cramped corridors. Travis, Nick, Jaccob, and Paul scrape together what little knowledge they have of the 40k universe to weave a tale of love, betrayal, and death, for you, dearest listener! Facebook: Twitter: Episodes: /episode/index/show/toodumbforgames/id/5141632

2d4g 29: Hank Hill vs Predator (Monikers) 02/14/2017

2d4g 29: Hank Hill vs Predator (Monikers) We're back for another social party game with , a Kickstarter game by Alex Hague and Justin Vickers! Wish we'd read the rules better, because we might've played it kinda wrong? Just a little bit? Monikers is a game about getting your friends to guess words on cards, like Jareth the Goblin King, cocaine bears, and Phineas Gage. Travis and Paul dominate. Nick and Jaccob flounder. We try to get David Liebe Hart as a guest star. Facebook: Twitter: Episodes: /episode/index/show/toodumbforgames/id/5085747

2d4g 28: Smackdown in Rowdy Town (Superfight) 01/31/2017

2d4g 28: Smackdown in Rowdy Town (Superfight) 2d4g gets violent with by Skybound Games! Who'd win in a fight? A UFC champ that can turn into water, or a boyband that kills with a kiss? Pikachu with a time machine or King Kong? You aren't gonna find out just sitting there, so stick in those earbuds and strap the fuck in, cuz 2d4g's taking you to the most improbable of arenas. Facebook: Twitter: Episodes: /episode/index/show/toodumbforgames/id/5039066

2d4g 27 2k16 GOOY Edition 01/16/2017

2d4g 27 2k16 GOOY Edition Too Dumb for Games has existed for one whole year, so we're commemorating our lil b-day with a Games of Our Year edition! We take a trip down memory lane to look at the squalling, red-faced infant that was our podcast, and Travis, Nick, Jaccob, and Paul pick out their favorite games that we played for the podcast in 2016. We decided we'd extol the virtues of , , , and . Facebook: Twitter: pisodes: /episode/index/show/toodumbforgames/id/4993446

2d4g 26: Badsketball (The Harlem Globetrotters Game) 01/02/2017

2d4g 26: Badsketball (The Harlem Globetrotters Game) Happy New Year! Too Dumb for Games is bringing in 2017 with ep. 26: Badsketball, wherein we unearth the ancient curse of 1971's by Milton Bradley! If you ever find yourself dusting off a copy in some flea market or side-alley store full of mysterious Chinese artifacts, just put it down, walk away, and forget you ever saw it, because what lies inside is too powerful and evil for the weak souls of man. Facebook: Twitter: /episode/index/show/toodumbforgames/id/4955861

2d4g 25: Battle Wizard Brigade Reprisal (Epic Spell Wars of the Battle Wizards II) 12/21/2016

2d4g 25: Battle Wizard Brigade Reprisal (Epic Spell Wars of the Battle Wizards II) In Epic Spell Wars of the Battle Wizards II: Rumble at Castle Tentakill, Travis, Nick, Paul, and Jaccob once again don their robes and wizard hats and blast each other to bits. Cryptozoic really upped the game for this expansion, with better art, mechanics, and we put the Too Dumb for Games spin on it with a spiraling descent into Jaccob's past romances. /episode/index/show/toodumbforgames/id/4933511

2d4g 24: Childhood Nightmares (Eureka) 12/06/2016

2d4g 24: Childhood Nightmares (Eureka) Too Dumb for Games travels back to the old west and into the dark, earthy caverns of Nick's memories as a feral child with Eureka by Ravensburger Games. Eureka is a game about panning for gold and robbing your friend's, and inspires such thoughts as what was the Breakfast Club's prom like? Will Bob Dylan guest star on our podcast? And can Nick confront his dark past? Find your answers through the play button! /episode/index/show/toodumbforgames/id/4888827

2d4g 23: Portal Alligator Cocks (Portal) 11/21/2016

2d4g 23: Portal Alligator Cocks (Portal) Wherein we play Portal: The Uncooperative Cake Acquisition Board Game by Cryptozoic! Nick accidentally ended this game way too early, so this officially makes our shortest episode ever. Expect a little game play, whatever we call a review, and some truly disturbing facts about alligator anatomy, courtesy of Jaccob. /episode/index/show/toodumbforgames/id/4850877

2d4g 22: America Special (Trump Board Game vs Clintonopoly) 11/08/2016

2d4g 22: America Special (Trump Board Game vs Clintonopoly) It's election day! Time to put on a topical episode of Too Dumb for Games, wherein we play Clintonopoly and the Trump Game, go out to the polls, and experience the existentially crushing discontent of voting in this election! Don't forget to have a great day! /episode/index/show/toodumbforgames/id/4813516

2d4g 21: Too Dead for Games (Halloween Special 2k16) 11/01/2016

2d4g 21: Too Dead for Games (Halloween Special 2k16) From the MPD evidence locker: "This is a recording of the kidnapping of Jaccob Hearn, Nick Knaebel, Paul Saxon, and Travis Abshear, in the games dungeon of Henry Perkins. Mr. Perkins, a friend and one time guest of the podcast, Too Dumb for Games, is believed to have abducted and poisoned the hosts, recording them as he forced them to play childhood board games in a twisted episode of tabletop judgement." Happy Halloween everyone! Here is a recording we managed to salvage from our horrible Halloween in the clutches of a psychopath with a board game dungeon. Enjoy! Thanks to sindhu.tms, club sound, and digifishmusic for making their hospital ambience, mic feedback, and radio static sound effects available under the Creative Commons License at freesound.org :] /episode/index/show/toodumbforgames/id/4791313

2d4g 20: Spoopier Rendevous (Betrayal at House on the Hill: Widow's Walk) 10/19/2016

2d4g 20: Spoopier Rendevous (Betrayal at House on the Hill: Widow's Walk) Wherein we play Widow's Walk, the first ever expansion to the much loved Betrayal at House on the Hill! It's still pretty much one of the best games ever, but now with twice as much content. Our content is a couple teens and one really fast dude exploring a haunted house, only one of us turns out to be Hamlet?? This game's gotten a lot weirder. /episode/index/show/toodumbforgames/id/4755566

2d4g 19: Mansionmost Madnessing (Mansions of Madness 2e) 10/07/2016

2d4g 19: Mansionmost Madnessing (Mansions of Madness 2e) Was that an Ayn Rand opening? That was an Ayn Rand opening. Welcome to Too Dumb for Games' second episode featuring Fantasy Flight's Mansions of Madness, with Paul, Jaccob, Nick, Travis, and Mansions of Madness 2.0! Fantasy Flight's gone and blasted board gaming into the future with a Mansions re-release that replaces you, the Keeper, with an app! Snazzy. Listen as 2d4g grapples with the unknowable once more, but with way more success. Thanks, computers! /episode/index/show/toodumbforgames/id/4726000

2d4g 18.5: Quickplay (Tic Tac Toe) 09/28/2016

2d4g 18.5: Quickplay (Tic Tac Toe) In lieu of episode 19, which turned out like balls, just-Travis plays Tic Tac Toe, a two-player game invented by a people time forgot. It turned out slightly less like balls. /episode/index/show/toodumbforgames/id/4703437

2d4g 18: Fragalicious (Frag) 09/12/2016

2d4g 18: Fragalicious (Frag) So delicious, so delicious, we're fragalicious, it's so delicious. Oops, hello, welcome to 2d4g 18, where we play Frag by Steve Jackson Games, an allegedly fast paced action board game that emulates early PC arena shooters. It ain't great, but boy, does it take you back to a time of Unreal Engine 1, Word '98, and Albino Blacksheep. We think this sums it up pretty well: /episode/index/show/toodumbforgames/id/4662667

2d4g 17: Dead Winter is Coming (Dead Winter) 08/23/2016

2d4g 17: Dead Winter is Coming (Dead Winter) There's zombies afoot in this episode of Too Dumb for Games! We're playing Plaid Hat Games' Dead of Winter: A Crossroads Game, which is all about trying to survive a bad winter in the middle of a zombie apocalypse. It's about as hard to do as it sounds like. Listen as we find a bunch of weirdos hiding in gas stations, libraries, and grocery stores, all while trying to feed a bunch of gross teens back at home base. /episode/index/show/toodumbforgames/id/4610993

2d4g 16: Queue 08/08/2016

2d4g 16: Queue Come get in line, and make sure the commissar doesn't see that extra ration of vodka in your coat pocket, cause it's time to play Queue! Listen in as our hosts try to check every item off their shopping lists in the desolate mercantile past of communist Poland /episode/index/show/toodumbforgames/id/4575089

2d4g 15: Mansion Madness pt. 2 (Mansions of Madness) 07/25/2016

2d4g 15: Mansion Madness pt. 2 (Mansions of Madness) Here's the unfortunate conclusion into our unfortunate time playing Mansions of Madness! Listen to our cries of agony as the minds of Gloria Goldberg, Joe Diamond, and Michael McGlen encounter a proper Cthulhian conclusion. Check out part 1 if you haven't heard it yet, elsewise this episode wont' make a lick of sense. /episode/index/show/toodumbforgames/id/4539821

2d4g 14: Mansion Madness Pt. 1 (Mansions of Madness) 07/18/2016

2d4g 14: Mansion Madness Pt. 1 (Mansions of Madness) Welcome to part 1 of our first two part episode! We're playing Fantasy Flight's Mansions of Madness, a game that has done us wrong so many times over the years, yet we keep crawling back. We're going to roleplay our little hearts out this time, and maybe, just maybe, overcome all the Lovecrafty spooks and ghosties in this week's Too Dumb for Games. (Thanks to Kevin MacLeod for use of his Rynos Theme in this episode)! /episode/index/show/toodumbforgames/id/4522806

2d4g 13: Forced Clue (Clue: Discover the Secrets) 06/27/2016

2d4g 13: Forced Clue (Clue: Discover the Secrets) This week we have on our first guest, our good friend Henry Perkins! We were planning on playing Mansions of Madness, but, under threat of violence, Henry made us play Hasbro's universally panned Clue reboot, Clue: Discover the Secrets. No one has a good time, this game usurps Cult Classic for worst ratings we've given yet, and our show has a new metric for awfulness! /episode/index/show/toodumbforgames/id/4473895

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