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MFP 387: The Truth about Toddlers

Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

Release Date: 06/29/2026

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Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

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Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

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Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

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Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

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Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

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Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

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The strength of even the smallest children is more than we imagine, but it must have a free play in order to reveal itself" - Maria Montessori

Summary

This episode focuses on understanding toddlers not as problems to manage, but as persons in a critical state of development who are striving for independence and learning how to function in the world. Through a Montessori-informed and Catholic lens, Maggie Radzik explains that much of what parents label as "misbehavior" is actually a child's natural growth process combined with limited emotional regulation. Her conversation with Mike and Alicia emphasizes that parents should shift from control to formation by observing their child, preparing an environment that supports success, and responding calmly—especially during tantrums, which are signs of overwhelm rather than defiance. The episode highlights that parenting toddlers is as much about the child's formation as it is about the parents' own growth in patience, humility, and intentionality, with a gentle reminder that even very young children can begin to encounter God through simple, peaceful experiences of faith.

 

Key Takeaways

  • Your toddler is not the problem - you are.   You are being formed by them as you are taking on this parenting role! 

 

  • Toddlers crave independence but they are easily overwhelmed.  Create an environment for them to learn.  

 

  • We need to allow the environment of the home to teach the child, but that means we need to slow down and observe them and see what they need.

 

  • To handle a tantrum, we need to stay calm and grounded and not take it personally.  

 

  • Stop reacting and shift to being intentional about how you treat them.  They are a person in progress! 

 

Couple Discussion Questions

  • Where do we see our toddler striving for independence lately?

  • What situations seem to overwhelm our toddler most?

  • How do each of us typically respond to tantrums?

  • Where do we say "no" the most? Could we change the environment instead?

 

Resources