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MFP 393: Helping Kids Grow Through Hard Things

Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

Release Date: 08/10/2026

MFP 397: The No-Resentment Rosary show art MFP 397: The No-Resentment Rosary

Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

“The Holy Rosary, by age-old tradition, has shown itself particularly effective as a prayer which brings the family together.” —St. John Paul II, Rosarium Virginis Mariae, no. 41   Summary Have you ever gathered the family to pray the Rosary—and wondered if all the fidgeting, correcting, and frustration were helping your children love prayer or simply teaching them to endure it? In this episode, we take an honest look at praying the Rosary with kids. Perseverance matters, but so do creativity, patience, and sensitivity to the needs of your particular family. The goal is not merely...

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Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

“Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become.” - James Clear Summary Is your family running on good routines—or on lost shoes, late-night permission slips, and someone yelling, “Where is your backpack?” If summer loosened every habit in your house, this episode is your invitation to hit the family reset button. We’re talking honestly about the routines that shape family culture, whether we choose them or simply fall into them. Bedtimes, chores, prayer, screens, school mornings, and family meals don’t just organize the day; over time, they help...

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MFP 395: Who Comes First? Navigating the Hard Choices of Family Life show art MFP 395: Who Comes First? Navigating the Hard Choices of Family Life

Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

Family life is full of competing needs, responsibilities, and relationships. And sometimes there isn't one obvious "right" answer. Summary In this listener questions episode, Mike, Alicia, and Katie tackle some of the complicated situations real families are facing: What should a mom do when her teenage son starts turning to Dad instead of her? How do you discern where your family should live? Should you move if your spouse is unhappy but your children are thriving? How do you honor your parents while putting your spouse first? They also discuss life with a large family in a small house,...

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MFP 394: NFP- Love, Life, and Learning Self-Control show art MFP 394: NFP- Love, Life, and Learning Self-Control

Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

Catholic couples don’t discern if they should have a child, they discern if they should postpone pregnancy. These are two different conversations.    Summary This re-release of a 2015 episode presents Natural Family Planning as more than a technique: it's a way of living that contrasts sharply with a culture focused on control and convenience. We explore how modern society tends to "engineer" outcomes, even in areas like fertility, while NFP invites couples to cooperate with the natural design of the body, integrating both faith and science. This approach requires intentional...

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MFP 393: Helping Kids Grow Through Hard Things show art MFP 393: Helping Kids Grow Through Hard Things

Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

High expectations along with high support produces resilient kids. Summary In this episode, Mike and Alicia focus on the challenge of raising resilient kids in a culture that often prioritizes comfort and protection. They emphasize that while parents naturally shield their children from pain and failure, doing so too often can actually prevent them from developing the strength and perseverance they need in life. Instead, resilience is built when kids are allowed to express appropriate struggles, learn from mistakes, and grow through adversity with the steady support of their parents. This...

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MFP 392: Faith at Home: No Degree Required show art MFP 392: Faith at Home: No Degree Required

Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

Parents need to awaken in children their sacramental imagination within the home. This takes time. - Steven Serafin Summary In this episode, we talk with Steven Serafin of Faith and Family Life Catholic Ministries about how parents can reclaim their role as the primary teachers of the faith. Drawing from the catechumenal model, he explains that faith is passed on through relationship and daily life, not just programs. In a culture that no longer supports belief, families must intentionally live the faith at home through habits of prayer, discipline, and meaningful conversation. Steven shares...

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MFP 391: Jesus Take the Wheel! Being Overwhelmed show art MFP 391: Jesus Take the Wheel! Being Overwhelmed

Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

Summary This re-release of a 2016 episode focuses on the experience of feeling overwhelmed as a parent and reframes it as a sign that your current responsibilities have exceeded your capacity, not a personal failure. It encourages parents to step back, prioritize their primary vocation of loving their spouse and children, and let go of unrealistic expectations that create unnecessary pressure. By simplifying schedules, reducing commitments, and taking small, manageable steps, families can regain a sense of peace and control. In this conversation, Mike and Alicia also show the importance of...

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MFP 390: What Happens After the Romance Fades? show art MFP 390: What Happens After the Romance Fades?

Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

Summary Have you ever felt distant from your spouse, like you're simply coexisting in the same house or experiencing dryness in your marriage? Every marriage goes through natural cycles of romance and disillusionment, but without intentional actions, indifference can creep in. How do you break out of that indifference and reconnect? In this re-release of Episode 089, we give simple and practical advice for couples to escape indifference and rebuild a happy, healthy marriage. Key Takeaways Love is a decision, not a feeling. When we recommit ourselves to our relationship things can start to...

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MFP 389: 33 Days to Consecration to the Holy Family show art MFP 389: 33 Days to Consecration to the Holy Family

Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

Consecration is about living your daily family life in union with Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, right in the middle of the mess. Summary What if your family life, in all its chaos and imperfection, could actually become holy?  This week on the Messy Family Podcast, we talk with Scott Smith about his book 33 Days to Consecration to the Holy Family. He shares how consecration isn’t just a devotion, but a way of living “under one roof” with Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.  We dig into how this simple practice can protect your family, bring the spirit of Nazareth into your daily routine, and...

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MFP 388: Your Husband is Not a Home Improvement Project show art MFP 388: Your Husband is Not a Home Improvement Project

Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family

“A complaint focuses on a specific behavior, but criticism attacks a person’s very character.” - John Gottman Summary This episode focuses on how criticism in marriage, especially towards husbands, can quietly damage connection and respect if it targets a person's character instead of addressing specific behaviors. Many wives fall into patterns of correcting or pointing out faults, often with good intentions, but this can lead to defensiveness, withdrawal, and a negative cycle in the relationship. In this episode, Mike and Alicia emphasize the importance of expressing concerns calmly and...

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More Episodes

High expectations along with high support produces resilient kids.

Summary

In this episode, Mike and Alicia focus on the challenge of raising resilient kids in a culture that often prioritizes comfort and protection. They emphasize that while parents naturally shield their children from pain and failure, doing so too often can actually prevent them from developing the strength and perseverance they need in life. Instead, resilience is built when kids are allowed to express appropriate struggles, learn from mistakes, and grow through adversity with the steady support of their parents. This re-release of a 2017 episode encourages couples to find a balance between being caring and supportive without over-rescuing, and to intentionally foster a family culture where challenges are seen as opportunities for growth rather than problems to avoid.

 

Key Takeaways

  • Kids will experience all kind of small hardships in childhood and these are life’s way of making them stronger.  For example, not being chosen, relationship difficulties, failure in athletics or school.

  • Some kids are more or less naturally resilient

  • Parents need to be aware of the pitfalls of taking on their children’s pain or seeing their failure as our failure. 

  • Practice intentional parenting.  Begin with speaking to them the truth, then teach them to take responsibility for their actions, and see how they can learn from the experience.  

  • High expectations along with high support produce resilient kids.  

 

Couple Discussion Questions

  • How do we usually react when our child fails, gets hurt emotionally, or feels left out?

  • How can we better balance being supportive without removing struggle?

 

Resources

  • MFP 353: Why are Kids so Anxious?

  • MFP 335: Safety-ism