Messy Family Podcast : Catholic Conversations on Marriage and Family
Parenting is not a clean-cut, simple process for those who like to follow the rules. Family life is messy and unpredictable, but it is the greatest adventure you will ever have. We are Mike and Alicia Hernon, parents of 10 children with a growing number of grandchildren, and we would like to invite you into some of the conversations we have had with each other about marriage, parenting, and Catholic family life. Our hope is that our conversation sparks a dialogue between you and your spouse that leads to greater unity and intentional Christian parenting in your home. Listen in to our podcast and start the conversation as we seek to lead our families to heaven. Visit us at https:///www/MessyFamilyProject.org for resources, guides, links and show notes.
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MFP 358: Thriving, not just surviving with lots of littles
11/17/2025
MFP 358: Thriving, not just surviving with lots of littles
Summary Are you exhausted, overwhelmed, or wondering whether you’re doing anything right as a parent of little ones? You’re not alone — and you’re not crazy. In this refreshed and expanded episode, Mike and Alicia revisit their classic “Survival Zone” conversation with new insights from another decade of parenting and now grandparenting. They unpack why the early years are so intense, what’s normal (hint: your exhaustion), how marriage is stretched during this season, and how moms and dads can support each other through the chaos. You’ll hear practical advice on setting realistic ideals, finding community, leaning on others for help, navigating time traps like social media, letting dads step up in their unique way, and prioritizing your marriage in the midst of diapers and dishes. Whether you’re in the trenches right now or reflecting back on that season, this episode offers encouragement, perspective, and a reminder: this won’t last forever — and it will make you stronger. Key Takeaways Reassess ideals Consider getting outside help - isolation hurts this Dads have to step in - great opportunity for men to gain confidence Get out alone together Beware of "time traps" Get some good routines going that work for you This is training for your life. If you can do this, you can do anything Couple Discussion Questions How can we support each other during this time? What are the greatest lessons that we are learning? 🙏 If this ministry has blessed you, please consider supporting the Messy Family Project! 📋 Take our 2025 Listener Survey: For more information on this and other topics visit: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/
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MFP 357: Marriage Q&A: When It Feels Hard, How Do You Stay Connected?
11/10/2025
MFP 357: Marriage Q&A: When It Feels Hard, How Do You Stay Connected?
In this honest Q&A episode, Mike and Alicia answer real questions from listeners about the struggles every couple faces – feeling distant, managing conflict, and staying united when life gets stressful. They talk about what to do when your marriage feels dry or disconnected, how to rebuild emotional intimacy, and how humility, forgiveness, and shared prayer can bring healing. With humor and wisdom from decades of marriage and mentoring, they offer hope for couples who want to grow together, not just stay together. Couples Discussion Questions What should I do when my spouse seems emotionally distant? How can we reconnect after a big argument? How do we stay close when life feels overwhelming? What if I’m the only one trying to fix our marriage? Whether you’re newly married or in the thick of family life, this episode will remind you: every marriage has hard seasons, but grace makes growth possible. We’d love your feedback! Take our 2025 Listener Survey and help us serve families better: For more information on this and other topics visit: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/
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MFP 356: Twenty Minutes to Change a Kid's Life – the Importance of Family Dinners
11/03/2025
MFP 356: Twenty Minutes to Change a Kid's Life – the Importance of Family Dinners
Families need to disconnect from the world’s pace, be present to one another and break bread together. - Bishop Thomas Olmstead Summary Why are family dinners so hard — and so important? In our latest Messy Family Podcast episode, we get real about the chaos of mealtime: the cooking, the planning, the juggling schedules, picky eaters, and the endless cleanup. But we also share the good news — it doesn’t have to be perfect to matter. Family meals aren’t just about food. They’re a time to build identity, teach traditions, and give your kids a sense of belonging. Research shows that sharing meals boosts kids’ grades, strengthens communication, and protects against depression and risky behaviors. We’ll give you practical tips to make family meals doable — even joyful — in the middle of everyday mess. From simple routines to conversation starters and kid-friendly chores, this episode will help you make mealtime your family’s “north star.” Listen now and rediscover the power of your dinner table! Key Takeaways Close with: “Those 20 minutes around your table might be the most important minutes of your child’s day.” Recap: Family meals strengthen minds, hearts, and homes Make it a priority Have a routine Use the time to connect Include the kids to make it happen! Couple Discussion Questions How often does your family sit down together? What is one thing we can do to improve our time together?
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MFP 355: Making Your Marriage #1
10/27/2025
MFP 355: Making Your Marriage #1
Summary In this re-release of Episode MFP191, we open up about one of the biggest challenges every couple faces—finding time for each other in the midst of busy family life. After 31 years of marriage, we’ve learned that love doesn’t just grow on its own; it takes intention and effort because although our marriages are always Important, they are rarely Urgent. In this episode, we share our own stories, some laughs, and practical ways to stay connected—whether through daily check-ins, regular date nights, or an occasional weekend away. We also talk about how to make this happen and what to do when you are together to use your time well. When we invest time in our marriage, our whole family benefits. So take a moment, grab your spouse, and listen with us. Let’s strengthen our marriages together—because your relationship is worth every minute. Key Takeaways Marriage is never Urgent, but it is always Important. That means you have to intentionally take time for your spouse Marriage is good for people and their mental, emotional, and even physical health. We need to give our spouse our time - daily connections, date nights, and extended time away. Lack of time together leads to decreased “love tank”. A full “love tank” smooths out the rough spots in marriage and makes it easier to ignore the little things. You have to be together without the children to renew your marriage and make strong the “couple love” between you which is essential for them. You need a community around you to give inspiration and support for your marriage. Make boundaries and goals for your time together. Use it wisely! Couple Discussion Questions When is our daily connection and regular date night? What is the best way for us to spend that time together?
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MFP354: How Can I Have a Relationship with God?
10/20/2025
MFP354: How Can I Have a Relationship with God?
"Being Christian is not the result of an ethical choice or a lofty idea, but the encounter with an event, a person, which gives life a new horizon and a decisive direction." - Pope Benedict XVI Summary Every one of us is on a journey towards eternity. Our life here on earth, our vocation, our careers, our relationships are all just ways that we can grow in our knowledge of ourselves and of God. But many of us struggle to learn how we can stretch ourselves and prioritize our own spiritual growth. In this podcast, we share our own stories of conversation moments and how our spiritual practices have changed and matured over the years. We hope this will give you some inspiration and ideas of how you can come closer to God our Loving Father and see that none of us are ever "done". We are all on a journey towards our eternal home. Key Takeaways To be a good mother or father you must first know who you are as a beloved son or daughter. Do things that put yourself in that place to receive from God such as mass, regular confession, and staying in a state of grace. Be honest about where you are in your season of life. Adopt spiritual practices accordingly Our perception of God is colored by our experience of our parents. Do we see God as having high or low expectations of us? Do we see God giving us high or low support to achieve those expectations? The most healthy relationship has high expectations and high support to achieve them. Recognize that we are constantly growing and maturing in our relationship with God and others. Growth takes time! Couple Discussion Questions What is our perception of God and the Church? Where are we right now in our relationship with Him? How can we as spouses help each other grow in our relationship with both? Resources Go here to purchase these books!
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MFP 353: Why are Kids so Anxious?
10/13/2025
MFP 353: Why are Kids so Anxious?
Summary Why are today’s kids more anxious than ever before? Mike and Alicia dive into the growing epidemic of anxiety among children and teens – and how modern parenting, technology, and culture all play a role. Drawing insights from Jonathan Haidt’s The Anxious Generation, they explore what happens when we overprotect kids in the real world but underprotect them online. From overscheduled lives and endless screen time to lack of sleep, nutrition, and authentic relationships, today’s children are under tremendous pressure. But there’s hope. The Hernons share concrete, faith-filled ways parents can lead with confidence, slow down family life, and raise children who are resilient, humble, and rooted in reality – not comparison. If you’ve ever wondered how to calm the chaos and restore peace to your home, this episode offers clarity, conviction, and encouragement for every Catholic parent. Key Takeaways Slow down, do less, accept your child for who they are Have a Consistent bedtime and eat together Lead your family with confidence Indoctrinate your children with your philosophy Teach them humility. Humble kids become content adults Put them in healthy social environments and enjoy true leisure Couple Discussion Questions Look at your schedule and ask yourself WHY - examine each activity and make sure you are intentional about it Do we think our children are anxious? Why and what can we change? Resources Take our 2025 Listener Survey! Everything we do here at the Messy Family Project is for couples and families! We work hard to support and encourage moms and dads as they do the hard work of raising children, managing homes and forming a solid, Catholic family culture. In our survey this year, we are asking for you to share with us some of your greatest challenges and what resources will help you the most. If you have done our survey in the past, please do it again! The more people we have take it, the more effective the information is. So will you take a few minutes to click on the link below and fill out our survey? This survey helps us create new products, target our podcasts to serve your needs better, and gives us a deeper insight into the lives of parents today. Will you help us out? Check out our Amazon Storefront for the Anxious Generation!
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MFP 352: Laughter and Limits in the Family with Dr. Ray
10/06/2025
MFP 352: Laughter and Limits in the Family with Dr. Ray
Take your calling seriously and yourself lightly Summary Are you taking parenting a little too seriously? In this episode, we dive into why families need to throw off the burden of “psychological correctness” and rediscover the gift of humor. Parenting isn’t a project—it’s a wild, messy adventure! We’ll share why secure parents can laugh at their mistakes, how to set healthy limits at your table, and how to teach kids the difference between fun teasing and disrespect. Most of all, we’ll remind you that your children are a never-ending source of laugh-worthy moments. This week we’re joined by the always witty and wise Dr. Ray Guarendi, who brings his trademark humor and insight to help parents embrace joy, laughter, and freedom in family life. Key Takeaways Throw off “psychological correctness”! The gift of humor has been taken away from modern parents because most parents are now overly worried about every word they say. Parents need to take themselves lightly and stop making parenting into a psychological project. Those parents who are insecure can’t laugh at themselves. You know you are secure when you can laugh at your mistakes and find humor in the craziness of family life. You decide the limits are your table and teach the difference between good-natured teasing and disrespect. Remember and celebrate that kids are natural sources of laugh-worthy material for life! Couple Discussion Questions Are we able to laugh at ourselves and our mistakes even with our kids? What are some of the funny things that have happened in our family? How can we remember these? Resources Dr Ray website: https://www.drray.com/ Take our 2025 Listener Survey! Everything we do here at the Messy Family Project is for couples and families! We work hard to support and encourage moms and dads as they do the hard work of raising children, managing homes and forming a solid, Catholic family culture. In our survey this year, we are asking for you to share with us some of your greatest challenges and what resources will help you the most. If you have done our survey in the past, please do it again! The more people we have take it, the more effective the information is. So will you take a few minutes to click on the link below and fill out our survey? This survey helps us create new products, target our podcasts to serve your needs better, and gives us a deeper insight into the lives of parents today. Will you help us out?
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MFP 351: Why Parents Need to Lead, Not Just Accompany
09/29/2025
MFP 351: Why Parents Need to Lead, Not Just Accompany
Summary Parenting isn't just about being present—it's about leading with purpose because children need guidance, not just companionship. In this episode, we start by looking at some quotes from celebrity parents to examine how they are misguided. The reality is that parents are called to protect, not simply please. And we each have different roles: fathers embodying hope and authority, mothers offering love and intuition. Both are crucial, and when either dominates too much, imbalance follows—leading to fragility or rigidity. We need to recognize our children’s gifts and desires and direct them by setting limits and giving formation. Where do we get these limits? By seeking the wisdom that is from above. We can’t figure out life without God’s wisdom and kids can’t figure life without us. Parents need to hold a vision of who their child can become and make tough calls for their good. Simply “accompanying” isn’t enough. Instead, loving leadership is one of the greatest gifts a parent can give. Key Takeaways Parenting is leadership, not passive companionship. Fathers and mothers offer distinct but complementary strengths—hope and authority vs. love and intuition. Children need structure, like a river needs banks—boundaries guide them safely. Wisdom is essential—parents must seek it and model it as they lead. Couple Discussion Questions In what ways do we each naturally lead our children—where do we shine, and where do we fall short? Are we setting strong enough “banks” for our kids, or are we just going with the flow? How can we invite God's wisdom into our parenting decisions, especially when we're unsure or disagree? Earthen Vessels book: https://matthewleeanderson.com/book/earthen-vessels/
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MFP 350: Satan Has a Plan for Your Family
09/22/2025
MFP 350: Satan Has a Plan for Your Family
“The devil is afraid of a united husband and wife.” —St. John Chrysostom Summary The family is Satan’s top target because it reflects God’s very nature and holds the foundation of civilization. Marriage isn’t just a social contract—it’s a sacrament with spiritual power, which makes it a threat to evil. The enemy’s strategy is subtle: sow disunity between spouses, confuse gender roles, exhaust parents, and replace faith formation with screens and busyness. By silencing prayer and fracturing family time, he slowly erodes the family’s ability to thrive spiritually. But families aren’t powerless. The fight starts with unity in marriage, sacrificial love, anchoring in prayer and the sacraments, and surrounding ourselves with like-minded families. The attack is real, but so is the remedy. A faithful, united, praying family is Satan’s worst nightmare. As St. John Paul II said, “The future of the world and of the Church passes through the family.” The path forward is clear—lead your family with faith, courage, and love. Key Takeaways The family mirrors the Trinity, which is why Satan targets it relentlessly. Marriage is a spiritual battleground, not just a relationship. Disunity, distraction, and distorted roles are key tools the enemy uses. Prayer, unity, sacrifice, and community are how families fight back. Couple Discussion Questions Where do we feel the biggest spiritual attacks or distractions in our family life right now? Are we modeling unity for our kids—or are we forgetting that our witness is just as important as our teaching? What’s one practical change we can make this week to reclaim prayer or family time in our home?
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MFP 349: Why Have Kids? an Interview with the author of Hannah’s Children
09/15/2025
MFP 349: Why Have Kids? an Interview with the author of Hannah’s Children
“I think that bringing children into the world is like bringing holiness into the world.” - Catherine Pakaluk Summary In this episode, Mike and Alicia sit down with Catherine Pakaluk, economist and author of Hannah’s Children, to challenge common cultural myths about large families. Secular researchers often assume religious women have many children because they are oppressed, but Catherine explains why this is far from true. Instead, faith gives parents the conviction that children are a blessing and the true good of marriage. Struggles, dysfunction, or finances exist in every family, regardless of size—yet joy comes from embracing life, not avoiding it. Mothers discover their fullest potential through their children, and their joy isn’t tied to public opinion or material resources. Parenthood is priceless, a long-term collaboration with God, who always gives grace when we say yes to Him. Key Takeaways Secular researchers assume that religious women have many children because they are oppressed. This is a myth. A conviction formed by faith that children are a good of marriage is not irrational. Religious women often are more open to children because they see children as a blessing and their “yes” is an assent to receiving those blessings from God. Many people use their dysfunctions and struggles as an excuse to not have more children, but the reality is that those issues are present regardless of the number of children you have. Mothers achieve their full potential through their children. Most mothers of large families don’t care what people say because their joy doesn’t come from that anyway. Financial incentives to have children don’t work because most parents don’t need more material resources to have more children. Parenting is so valuable that money can’t buy it. It is priceless. Mothers should never focus on “being done”. Embrace your fertility and God will give you the grace when you need it. This is a long-term collaboration with the Lord. Couple Discussion Questions Do we talk about “being done”? Or do we talk about “getting started”? Do we see children as a blessing? Do we want more blessings in our lives right now? Resources Buy the book on Amazon:
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MFP 348: Field of Dreams for Families
09/08/2025
MFP 348: Field of Dreams for Families
Summary Every family inherits a legacy, both the blessings and the struggles, yet God calls us to build something new with Him. In this episode, Mike and Alicia reflect on the importance of having a dream for your family that goes beyond survival mode and day-to-day busyness. Drawing inspiration from the film Field of Dreams, they explore how couples can discern God’s vision for their home, create a legacy of love, and take bold, countercultural steps together. Whether you’re just starting out or sending kids off to college, this conversation will encourage you to pray, dream, and act with faith that “if you build it, HE will come.” Key Takeaways Legacy Matters: We inherit patterns from our families of origin, but we can choose what to keep, redeem, or leave behind. Dream Beyond Today: God calls us to think not just about survival, but about a vision that shapes generations. Unity in Marriage: A shared dream unites spouses, strengthens families, and becomes a witness to others. God Provides the Tools: He uses the gifts, circumstances, and desires already present in your life to shape His vision for your family. Practical Step: Pray together, journal your inspirations, and start with simple habits that align with your family’s God-given dream. Couple Discussion Questions What legacies from your families of origin do you want to keep—and which ones do you want to leave behind? If you looked five or ten years into the future, what would you want your children (or future children) to say about your family? Where do you see God already giving you the “building blocks” for His dream for your family? What small, concrete step can we take this week to begin living into that dream together? For more information on this and other topics visit: https://www.messyfamilyproject.org/
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MFP 347 Families Under Fire - Facing Cultural Challenges
08/25/2025
MFP 347 Families Under Fire - Facing Cultural Challenges
The family is where children discover how to be human. - Archbishop Charles Chaput Summary In this episode, Mike and Alicia tackle some of the toughest family challenges with honesty, humor, and hope. These questions were submitted to us at the Midwest Family Conference, but we never got to them! We talk about things like how to respond to a loved one with a temper or a dysfunctional family that seems to fight constantly. What practical steps can parents take to guard their family culture when outside influences pull in the opposite direction? Mike emphasizes the irreplaceable role of fathers—especially in having honest conversations with teenage sons about life’s toughest issues. Alicia offers encouragement for wives supporting their husbands as spiritual leaders, even in the messiness of daily life. Together, they share practical strategies for cultivating virtue—reminding parents that even when kids bring out our weaknesses, God uses family life to make us holy. Key Takeaways We always need to start with ourselves when we come up against difficult relationships in the family. All of us are to work on helping other family members - spouse and children - to grow in holiness. Your family culture needs to be strong to inoculate your children against the culture of the world. Parents’ love for each other and joy in their relationship is essential in bringing peace and positivity to the home. The father’s role in the life of his teen son and in the spiritual leadership of the home is irreplaceable. It is not your job to make your kids into saints - its their job to make you into a saint! Couple Discussion Questions What do we need to work on in our marriage to bring more love and joy into our home? How can we be a better example for our kids? Are there issues with our kids that we need to discuss? What do we need to improve in our family culture? Resources Anger in Parenting Preparing for Adolescence: Women Wonderfully Made Webinar
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MFP 346: Jake & Heather Khym on Discipleship, Parenting, and Authentic Connection
08/18/2025
MFP 346: Jake & Heather Khym on Discipleship, Parenting, and Authentic Connection
"Discipleship isn’t about perfection—it’s about intimacy with Jesus. He is drawn to our weakness, not our strength." - Jake Khym Summary In this deeply insightful episode, Jake and Heather Khym explore one of the greatest challenges facing Catholics today: true discipleship. They share how the heart of a disciple embraces God as a good Father who desires intimacy over perfection. You'll hear powerful wisdom on parenting—letting go of the lie that we must “save” our children—and embracing our need for God. The Khyms also unpack how to navigate emotional overwhelm by slowing down and seeing ourselves through God’s eyes. Learn practical tools to build empathy and connection in marriage, like listening without judgment, advice, or blame. Finally, discover why we all need spiritual community throughout every stage of life. This episode is packed with grace, truth, and encouragement—don’t miss it! Key Takeaways The most significant challenge among Catholics today is discipleship. The heart of a disciple believes that God is a good Father. Jesus is not looking for us to be perfect or do everything right; instead, He desires intimacy with us. He is drawn to our weakness. Parents need to be aware of the heresy that we are our children’s saviors. We are not. They need God more than they need us. When we are overwhelmed by our emotions, we need first to slow down. Then see ourselves as God sees us. In building connection and empathy with our spouses, ask them to share with us their story, and then we need to hear that story without JAB - no judgment, advice, or blame. We all tend to be self-reliant, and that is why we need community at every stage, every season in our lives. Couple Discussion Questions On your next date night, take some time to hear the story of your spouse. This may be something that you think about ahead of time and prepare for. Sharing hearts and vulnerability in this way is key to a deeper relationship. How can we work at seeing ourselves and each other with the eyes of the Father? How can we see as God sees?
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MFP 345: The Tech Exit with Clare Morell
08/11/2025
MFP 345: The Tech Exit with Clare Morell
“If we want our children to be happy and successful, if we want them to reach their highest potential in self-transcendence, then the most important thing we can do is replace screens with activities that turn their focus outward.” —Clare Morell Summary It’s no secret that addictive digital technologies like smartphones and social media apps are harming a generation of kids socially, mentally, and even physically. But a workable solution seems elusive. After all, don’t kids need phones, and won’t they be vulnerable or socially isolated without them? In this interview with Clare Morell, author of The Tech Exit, we discuss the lies parents have been sold about parental controls, screen-time limits, and even the effectiveness of screens in the classroom. There is another way! If you need a shot in the arm to make the break from tech, listen in and see how digital technology is anything but necessary for children to live happy, healthy, and socially full lives. Key Takeaways Putting limits on something immediately implies harm. Why are we choosing to expose our children to something that is harmful? Dopamine that is released when a child uses screens affects the brain like a drug and produces cravings, not satisfaction. Since screens have been in our schools, math and reading scores have hit an all time low. Replace screen time with responsibilities and tasks, as well as hobbies and play. Screens make us all feel like we don’t need other people. It decreases community inherently, Life is not about being constantly amused and entertained. We all need time for reflection, activity, and boredom. Couple Discussion Questions Are we happy with the screen time use in our home right now? Are we happy with our own screen time? How can we be better? How have screens affected our family life? What do we want to change about this? Resources Messy Family Guide to Tech:
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MFP 344: From Control to Connection: Disciplining Teens with Heart
08/04/2025
MFP 344: From Control to Connection: Disciplining Teens with Heart
Summary Parenting teens can feel like navigating a storm. Emotions run high and mistakes are inevitable. In this updated reflection on our original 2017 episode, we dive into the art of disciplining teenagers not just to manage behavior, but to raise mature disciples of Christ. We share what we've learned from parenting our ten kids, what it means to move from control to connection, and how to maintain strong relationships during the most challenging years. Whether you're in the thick of adolescence or preparing for it, this episode offers encouragement, clarity, and practical tools. Topics include: • Building trust and fostering independence • Avoiding the trap of control or punishment • Communicating values in a way teens can hear • Creating rules that actually work Couple Discussion Questions In what ways do we tend to default to control instead of connection when our teens challenge us? How can we help each other start with our own hearts before reacting to difficult teen behavior? What opportunities can we create this week to invest in one-on-one connection with our teen(s)? Are there any household rules we need to revisit or simplify to better serve our teens’ growth? What does it mean to us to parent for Christian maturity rather than just obedience?
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MFP 343: How to Love Your Family
07/28/2025
MFP 343: How to Love Your Family
“The two great commandments name the three loves – loving God, loving neighbor, and loving yourself. All three loves are necessary and central to our Faith. All three.” - Dr. Peter Malinoski Summary How can I learn to truly love my family? The reality is that the degree to which you love yourself will be the maximum that you can love your family. Ordered self-love is not an optional thing – it’s essential. This is especially true for spouses and parents because their love is tied intimately to the full flourishing of others, namely, their children! We are made in God’s image and likeness, which means that, like the Trinity, we are constantly in relationship with others and even with ourselves. Learning to love ourselves directly affects how well we can love others. Listen in for advice from Dr. Peter Malinoski, Catholic psychologist and teacher in the field of therapy using Internal Family Systems. This podcast is essential to learn how to love your spouse and children well, by first learning to love yourself. Key Takeaways We are made in the image and likeness of God, which means that like the Trinity, we have the capacity for relationship within ourselves. The primary human relationship that we have is with ourselves, then others. 90% of conflicts with your spouse are a reaction to unresolved issues from the past, not what is happening in the present. The “innermost self” is the core of the person, who we really are. Our “parts” are small personalities inside of us who battle within us. Couple Discussion Questions How can you begin to see each other the way that God sees you? Think about a conflict you had recently. Ask your spouse, “Tell be about why you felt the way you did.” and be open to learning more. Resources To find a therapist: Interior Integration for Catholics podcast: Epidode 157 to 159 for an overview of IFS To learn more:
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MFP 342: Guidance on Tricky Topics
07/21/2025
MFP 342: Guidance on Tricky Topics
Summary: Listen in as we respond to Catholic parents seeking guidance on navigating sensitive family issues through faith. One parent is concerned about supporting her 11-year-old daughter who expressed same-sex attraction after speaking with her bisexual sister. Another couple is figuring out how to explain same-sex relationships to their young children with both compassion and clarity about Church teaching. A mother balancing part-time parish work and parenting feels overwhelmed by her toddler’s distress and behavior changes. Others seek advice on newborn sleep training and resisting parenting product marketing. They all value faithful, practical support in raising children with love, discipline, and Catholic values amid modern challenges and we did our best to respond to them from our own experience - always giving principles but encouraging them to make their own choices. References: Being There: Why Prioritizing Motherhood in the First 3 Years Matters Age Appropriate: The Art of Raising Humans: Key Takeaways When a child is coming to sexual maturity around 11-13 it is a very sensitive time of development and parents need to be very careful about the messages those kids are receiving at that time. How we respond emotionally to alternative lifestyles is a powerful example to our children of how to love people who don’t share our values Kids, especially toddlers, have no idea how to express their emotions so we have to recognize what they are going through, even if it's not the ideal situation, and respond to it. The key to babies sleeping is routines! And getting them to a point when they are almost asleep, but not quite asleep. Give them support to fall asleep independently and little by little they will be able to do it! Every parent needs to take in the different philosophies of parenting and do what works for them! As children grow, you will respond to them differently - sometimes with more directives, and sometimes with more conversations. It all depends on their stage of development!
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MFP 341: Unleash the Holy Spirit in Your Family w/ Dr. Sean and Nicole Tobin from Encounter Ministries
07/14/2025
MFP 341: Unleash the Holy Spirit in Your Family w/ Dr. Sean and Nicole Tobin from Encounter Ministries
“What do we feel is the first and last need of the Church? …the Spirit, the Holy Spirit…. He is her divine breath, the wind in her sails, the principle of her unity, the inner source of her light and strength.” - St. Paul VI Summary We can’t wait for you to hear this podcast! The week before Pentecost, we did a webinar with Dr. Sean and Nicole Tobin, a Catholic couple passionate about helping families live in the power of the Holy Spirit. Sean is a clinical psychologist, worship leader, and co-founder of the Divine Mercy Clinic and Nicole holds a master’s in Theology and co-founded the Los Angeles campus of the Encounter School of Ministry with Sean. Together, they speak and minister nationally, helping families become more fully alive in the Spirit through healing, activation, and practical faith formation. They came and spoke to our people about how the Holy Spirit can help us be the parents God wants us to be and the parents our children need. None of us can raise our kids alone! Not only do we need our spouses, but we also need God present in our lives every day through His Holy Spirit. Listen in to get some amazing wisdom and to learn how God wants to empower our parenting in a new way. Key Takeaways Desperation with expectation is an invitation to the Holy Spirit. Virtue does not come from us just “trying harder”, it comes as a fruit of the Holy Spirit. “What do we feel is the first and last need of this blessed and beloved Church of ours? We must say it, almost trembling and praying, because as you know well, this is the Church’s mystery and life: the Spirit, the Holy Spirit. He it is who animates and sanctifies the Church. He is her divine breath, the wind in her sails, the principle of her unity, the inner source of her light and strength.” Pope St Paul VI Heaven has been invading earth since Pentecost… it continues the mission of Christ in us. The biggest hindrance in our home is our busyness. We have to notice and be sensitive to the Holy Spirit. Tune in and listen. Children thrive in structure and routine, so teach them to give God the first and your best. Have them read scripture first thing, then pause and have them listen and journal each and every day. Healing is an easy first step - pray for this. Couple Discussion Questions What’s one way we can invite the Holy Spirit more deeply into our home? Is there something we need to surrender or ask God to heal in our family?
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MFP 340: Providence Over Panic
07/07/2025
MFP 340: Providence Over Panic
“We need to give God room to show up. Often we try to fix and solve everything without waiting for God to act” - Jonathan and Amanda Texiera Summary The number one conflict in marriages, statistically, is money. How we spend our money reflects our values, but also our belief in the providence of God. Do we truly believe that God cares about all of our life, including our financial needs? How much are we truly trusting in Him and His provision and not just giving in to panic and fear? In this podcast, we invited our friends Jonathan and Amanda Texiera of Wallet Win to give us some encouragement to give our entire lives over to God and believe that He cares for us completely. They give spiritual principles, but also practical advice for families to reject fear and embrace trust. Key Takeaways Remind yourselves of what God has done in your lives and invite God into your money, he wants to be part of your life Give God room to show up - we try to fix and solve everything without waiting for God to act Create financial oneness in our marriage Live as financial disciples - play the long game Couple Discussion Questions Look at the fruits of panic and trusting providence. How have you experienced these? List the ways that God has provided for you. Where can you trust him more? Resources
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MFP 339: Movies, kids, and imagination
06/30/2025
MFP 339: Movies, kids, and imagination
"Fairy tales do not tell children the dragons exist. Children already know that dragons exist. Fairy tales tell children the dragons can be killed." - G.K. Chesterton Summary Movies shape more than behavior — they form the imagination, the moral compass, and the heart. Catholic parents are not merely protecting innocence; they are cultivating virtue and wonder. In this episode, we explore how stories shape our children, how to choose wisely, and how to use movies as part of a rich Catholic family culture. Jesus used stories to teach. So do we. Key Takeaways Here are four filters that parents can use to decide what movies to watch with their children: Content – Surface-level: language, nudity, violence, disrespect. Different for every family. Talk about this with spouse May change as the kids get older Context / Theme– Does it glorify sin, or does it show redemption? Does this movie affirm the dignity of the human person? What’s the movie saying about truth, identity, family, and faith? Does it honor the sacrificial nature of love? Does it support the family or undermine it? Is faith treated with reverence, or ridicule? Beauty Is it ugly?is does it nourish the soul and imagination? Is this edifying? Does it educate, challenge, or cause me to grow and bear good fruit? Character Arc – Are the heroes virtuous? Are sinners redeemed? Remember: It's not enough to avoid what is harmful. We must actively seek what is holy, good, and true. 🧰 Trusted Tools for Parents: IMDB parents guide - use this to search by adding your movie title — secular, but useful for content breakdowns. — faith-based reviews of current films. Catholic News Service Movie Reviews — Catholic perspective with theological commentary. Your Own Conscience — Don’t ignore the check in your spirit as a parent.
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MFP 338: Sharing the “Mental Load”?
06/23/2025
MFP 338: Sharing the “Mental Load”?
Motherhood changes you because it literally alters a woman’s brain—structurally, functionally, and in many ways, irreversibly. - Louann Brizendine, The Female Brain Summary Women are gifted in a way that men are not. Women can hold many different tasks in their mind at the same time, see the needs of others, and know the needs of the household and balance them all. Sometimes this can feel empowering, but sometimes it's overwhelming, especially in times of great stress. In some circles, there is a call for men to share the “mental load”, but is that even possible? What is the appropriate role of fathers and husbands and how can they support their wives in this burden that they carry? Listen in as we tackle this tricky topic giving both perspective and advice on rejoicing in our differences. Key Takeaways Women are gifted in a way that men are not. Embrace it and appreciate that. Reject a spirit of comparison and envy. Live a balanced life - you are not a victim and you always have a choice. Appreciate your husband’s mental load Create space for him to be needed. Couple Discussion Questions How does the mental load affect each of us? Have we fallen into a pattern of comparison or envy? How can we learn to be more grateful for our spouse and their contributions? Resources
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MFP 337: The Invincible Family
06/16/2025
MFP 337: The Invincible Family
“True power is not dependent upon the invented honors of earth. True power is that which guides, shapes, carves, and claims the souls of men. And the souls of men are most often won and lost at the feet of mothers.” - Kimberly Ells Summary Does it feel like its harder to be a parent today than ever before? There are powers arrayed against the family - powers in secular philosophies, modern politics, and even our education system. The roots of these forces are deep and have been growing for years, but we are just now seeing their ugly fruit. We would like you to take some time to comprehend how these philosophies have affected your understanding of the roles of mothers, fathers, children, and the family as a social unit. This podcast was inspired by and draws from The Invincible Family by Kimberly Ells. The world needs parents more than ever! We hope this conversation inspires you to double down on being an intentional, and therefore, invincible family. Key Takeaways What is the ultimate goal of socialism, feminism, and sexual radicalism? To separate children from their parents by deceiving parents into giving up their rights to their children. Satan wants us to feel quaint, small, and insignificant. But the reality is that if we are going to change this world, we need to believe that what we are doing is mighty and important, and IRREPLACEABLE. Children are the future. Every revolutionary wants to control the children. Whoever controls the children controls the society. So the parent/child bond needs to be broken for secular forces to control our children. First, it started with Dad. Now they are working on unseating moms, taking her out of the home, denigrating having children, and being a mother. The best thing you can give your child is not education - the best you can give your child is YOU. Women cannot do everything men can do. And confident women are perfectly fine with this fact.
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MFP 336: What Would You Say to Your Younger Self? An Interview with Suzanne Bilodeau
06/09/2025
MFP 336: What Would You Say to Your Younger Self? An Interview with Suzanne Bilodeau
God has selected you uniquely to be the mother for these children. He will equip you for the work He wants you to do! Summary No one feels prepared to be a parent. Even if you were one of the oldest of 10 kids in a Catholic family (like Alicia or Katie) or a family of 7 (like Suzanne) you can never really be ready! The key to surviving, and even thriving, is stepping fully into your identity as a daughter of God. All the love that we have for our spouse and children needs to come from a deep place of confident love from our Heavenly Father. Listen in to this interview with Suzanne Bilodeau, author of She Loved: Resting in the Beauty of Motherhood, a compilation of letters from older mothers to their younger selves. In our conversation we talk about actually NOT finding our identity in our motherhood, but in our daughterhood, how fear is a liar, and the importance of compassion for yourself. Key Takeaways Fear is a liar. Satan tells you that you are not enough. God says - I made you for this moment. We can be transformed when we recognize that before we are a wife or mommy we are a daughter. That is foundational. We all need to have compassion for ourselves. This is a theme found in most of the letters written for She Loved! Don’t be a martyr to your motherhood. Take time for yourself to reconnect with God and others.
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MFP 335: Safety-ism
06/02/2025
MFP 335: Safety-ism
'Cause I love you more than you could know And your heart, it grows every time it breaks I know that it might sound strange But I wish you pain - “Wish You Pain” by Andy Grammar Summary Every parent wants to keep their kids safe, but is it possible to keep them “too safe”? In this podcast episode we dive into the overwhelming cult of safety-ism, which makes keeping your child from all pain and suffering an idol. Children are really “antifragile” - meaning that they need to have an appropriate amount of stress physically, mentally and emotionally to be able to become resilient. Over-protecting and keeping kids from physical or emotional pain only makes them more anxious and risk-averse. We have lots of examples of giving kids freedom, and the results aren’t always what you think! Like so much of parenting, you need to keep in mind the stage of development your child is in to be able to expose them to appropriate risks. You don’t let your 12 yr old wander down a dark alley, but you should let them go into the grocery store alone. Listen in for some encouragement as well as tips and tricks to not keeping your kids safe, but making them strong! Key Takeaways Do all you can to keep kids in Discover Mode. Exploring is what kids do and it will keep them curious and confident. Don’t keep them safe, make them strong. Children will get hurt, get sick, get disappointed, cry with frustration…. Because they are human! Attachment to parents is key to give kids a secure base Fearful parenting keeps kids close too much and for too long Children need play-based childhood. Couple Discussion Questions How were we raised? Were we raised in a home that was in Discovery Mode or Defend Mode? Assess our family right now in light of safety vs. appropriate risk. How are our children being raised? What can we do to improve our family’s Discovery Mode for the long term benefit of our children?
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MFP 334: An Addiction, a Marriage, and a Priest
05/26/2025
MFP 334: An Addiction, a Marriage, and a Priest
Our vows are for life, and we need overwhelming grace to live them out - Kevin Wells Summary If you ever thought your marriage was in such bad shape that you simply did not know what to do, this podcast is for you. We were so blessed to be able to talk to Kevin Wells, the author of The Hermit: The Priest Who Saved a Soul, a Marriage, and a Family. This interview is deep because Kevin and his wife Krista have been through the fire together and it is only by the grace of God that they both survived. Our discussion includes the indissolubility of the marriage vows, how marriage makes you holy sometimes by bringing you to the desert, and the powerful role that our priests can take in shepherding our souls and bringing Jesus to us. Kevin’s perspective is incredibly hopeful because he has seen the power of God! Take time to listen to his story and use the lessons he gives to draw closer to the source of life for all of our marriages - the Lord Himself. Key Takeaways When a person experiences shame, they always need an outlet for that shame. Sometimes its themselves and people turn inward, and sometimes it is someone else. Satan is a total jerk. He uses wounds from our childhood, when we were innocent victims, to beat us up and tell us the lie that we are not worthy of love. Every addiction is hiding a wound. To be truly free from addiction, that wound needs to be healed. When you are in the “desert” of a troubled marriage, the only way to get through is complete reliance on God. He calls us deeper into the desert to rest, abide, and surrender. Our vows are for life and this is an impossible task. It can only be accomplished by the grace of God Priests are custodians of the souls of those within their parish. When one of these souls is in error, they need the Holy Spirit to speak with firmness and candor. Anything less is false charity and false mercy. Couple Discussion Questions Are there areas of our life or marriage that aren’t completely surrendered to God? How can we surrender everything to Him? Are there priests in our lives who are true shepherds to us? How can we support and love our priest better?
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MFP 333: The Family Meeting
05/19/2025
MFP 333: The Family Meeting
What is the rhythm of leadership in your family? Summary Every relationship relies on communication, but when you operate as a family with many members, communication can become difficult! Kids can get lost in the chaos, plans get forgotten, chores undone, and mom and dad are constantly putting out fires. In comes the miracle of the Family Meeting! Well, let’s rephrase that… A family meeting will not solve ALL your problems but it is a great step forward in leading your family and living life intentionally. In this podcast, we discuss the REAL purpose of a family meeting (and it’s not about information shared!) and how effective meetings can satisfy one of the three fundamental needs of the human person. Listen in to find out why you need to get this on your family’s calendar today. Key Takeaways FMs give you an opportunity to lead intentionally and gives children the experience of belonging, a fundamental need Start with Prayer and Engagement Present something briefly - your observations, information or inspiration. Keep in mind your family’s values Hear from the kids - This is key. It is where they will feel seen and heard. Get on the same page - coordinate the running of the home Commit to it and make it happen - don’t give up! Depend on grace! Couple Discussion Questions How would a family meeting benefit us right now? What is the best time for us to do this? What would be the key elements for us?
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MFP 332: The Seven Marks of Christian Forgiveness
05/12/2025
MFP 332: The Seven Marks of Christian Forgiveness
If forgiveness isn’t hard, you aren’t doing it right - Dan Meola Summary Many parents struggle with their children--not because of the kids, but because of the wounds they are carrying from their own parents. The only path for healing those wounds is forgiveness. But how do we forgive, especially when the hurts are deep and real? In this podcast we sat down with Dan Meola, the founder of Life Giving Wounds, a ministry for adult children of divorce. We talked about the importance of forgiveness, what it is--and what it is not. To define true forgiveness, Dan walks us through the seven marks of forgiveness that bring insight to this path to true reconciliation and healing. Key Takeaways No matter how you have been hurt you need to let go of the grudge and forgive. Unforgiveness hurts us, hurts those around us, and prevents our healing. If forgiveness isn’t hard, you aren’t doing it right. Christianity is the only religion that requires forgiveness, even if it is unilateral. This is impossible by human standards and can only be done by God’s grace. The Seven Marks are: It is specific It is an ongoing process. Can be unilateral Means you still have boundaries It is a choice, not a feeling Enables you to let go of anger, resentment, and to cancel past debts Is only possible with the grace of God
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MFP 331: Let’s Talk About Husbands! Listener questions answered
05/05/2025
MFP 331: Let’s Talk About Husbands! Listener questions answered
“If we accept that God’s love is unconditional, that the Father’s love cannot be bought or sold, then we will become capable of showing boundless love and forgiving others even if they have wronged us” - Pope Francis in Amoris Laetitia Summary: Becoming a husband and father is the biggest change a man goes through in his life. There is simply no better “life-coaching” than family life! But when men find their vocation difficult, it is usually their wives that they turn to or who observe this difficulty and have a desire to help. In this podcast, we hear from women who have questions about how to support and help their husbands overcome challenges at work, at home, and in their personal lives. So many wives want their husbands to be the best men they can be and overcome vices of sloth, anger, and lust but they aren’t sure how to help. Sometimes wives can take action, but in other situations, it's best for wives to be supportive and keep their advice to themselves. When do you know which is right? Listen in to find out! Key Takeaways Wives need to be very careful when it comes to giving husbands advice or correction regarding his relationship with work. It is a source of great respect for men, so this topic should be delicately considered. Men need to be needed. If wives are doing everything and then complaining that he isn’t stepping up, realize that you are probably doing too much. Overcoming anger requires introspection and being curious about why it arises within you at certain times. Usually the “trigger” is not really your child, but something that your child is doing or saying that is touching an unresolved issue in yourself. We need to take time to think about these things and give ourselves space to consider them and bring God into that situation so He can heal us. If you have a husband who is at a different place spiritually than you, be patient. Honor his journey as being different from your own.
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MFP 330: What Will Your Children Remember?
04/28/2025
MFP 330: What Will Your Children Remember?
“You’re not just parenting your children… you are parenting your grandchildren” Summary Have you ever walked through a thousand-year-old castle or along a wall built by Romans nearly a millennium ago? On a recent trip to the UK, we were struck by the longevity of these structures—and the intentionality behind them. They weren’t built to last a season, but centuries. In this episode, we challenge you to think the same way about your family culture. Are you parenting just for today… or are you building something that will bless your children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren? Family culture is the invisible architecture of your home. It gives your children identity, belonging, and purpose. It's what lasts long after the rules and schedules fade. And if we build it with care, rooted in faith and virtue, it can be a source of strength for generations to come. Key Takeaways Parenting is more than just what is happening today. We have to have a long term vision for our family Your family culture matters more than ever. This is where children learn who they are, where they belong, and what they are made for If we want to build a legacy, we need to build with stone, not straw or wood. Set up traditions that can be passed on to the next generation - things that are simple and repeatable. Consider the legacy that you have received from your family, culture, and especially from our Catholic faith. Legacy doesn’t happen by accident. It starts with small, intentional acts of love—right now. Couple discussion Consider writing down some thoughts on the legacy you want to leave. What’s one tradition, habit, or value you want to start building into your family this week that will move you closer to that legacy?
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MFP 329: Who is “God the Father”?
04/21/2025
MFP 329: Who is “God the Father”?
“Unleashing the heart of the Father is a power the world does not know.” Summary God wants us to know Him as a father. We as parents are to prepare the hearts of our children to know the father by acting like him. So when our children wonder what God is like, we should be able to say to them, “God loves you as I love you, but so much better”. For us to do that, we need to know what God is like, so we can act as him. In this podcast we break open the Word of God to share with you how God describes Himself in the Bible and how we can come to know Him better by reading what He has told us! Key Takeaways God wants to “father” His people in the Old Testament Isaiah 64:8 Jeremiah 31:20 Deuteronomy 14:1 Jesus says he has come “from the Father” that He is a son John 14 Matt 11:25 John 16:23 Jesus tells us that WE are sons and that God is Our Father too! Matthew 23:9 Matthew 6:6 1 John 3:1 Galatians 4:6 Luke 12:32 2 Corinthians 6:16-18 John 20:17 Why does this matter? Because we are to be like Our Father. We as parents are to act like him, imitate Him, take on His characteristics in flesh so our children can believe they have a heavenly Father who loves them, will always be there and never fail them. Psalm 103:13 Matt7:10 Couple Discussion How does God want to be a father to us? To our children? Are there any obstacles to us calling God “Father”? Take some time to pray into those this week.
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