nightingale to the phoenix
Good Grief Relief
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The Prominent 3s In Life and Grief Recovery With Adele Anderson
Good Grief Relief
3 R’s of Processing grief Robert A Neimeyer Retelling, Rebuilding, Reinventing Retelling: What happened, Who was your loved one, what was lost present and future, what extends beyond Rebuilding: rather than relinquishing, acknowledge the finality as a full body emotional acknowledgement. But also a sustainable way of continuing the bond Reinventing: our lives and ourselves in the context of what we need to change : as a opportunity of both sadness and hope - Imagine bitter sweet: from deeper despair, to carrying emotions more gently: nostalgia and remembrance Change...
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90% Of Our Success Can be Limited By Trauma
Good Grief Relief
Trauma, often lurking in the depths of our subconscious mind, acts as a formidable barrier to our success and well-being. It erects a screen saver, a shield of sorts, that tells us we are no longer safe to take risks or protect ourselves. Despite the integral role of risk in personal growth, we find ourselves paralyzed by resistance, trapped in a cycle of fear and helplessness. This inner turmoil manifests in various ways. We may fear appearing weak or vulnerable, so we resort to procrastination, self-sabotage, or negative coping mechanisms aimed at numbing the discomfort that...
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Embracing Brokenness: The Journey of Recovery and Resilience
Good Grief Relief
In the tapestry of life, threads of brokenness often weave through the fabric of our existence. We encounter moments of vulnerability, moments where the weight of despair threatens to shroud us in darkness. Yet, within these fractures, lies an undeniable beauty waiting to be discovered—a beauty that emerges from the depths of our struggles, illuminating the path toward healing and hope. Recovery, in its essence, is a journey of resilience—a testament to the remarkable capacity of the human spirit to mend and grow, even amidst the shattered fragments of our lives. It is a journey...
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Navigating Emotions: Finding Light in Grief and Overwhelm With Adele Anderson
Good Grief Relief
In this enlightening episode of "Navigating Emotions: Finding Light in Grief and Overwhelm," we delve deep into the intricate landscape of human emotions and the art of coping with life's challenges. Through a comprehensive exploration of grief, overwhelm, and worry, we uncover invaluable insights into the human experience and discover powerful coping mechanisms to navigate through difficult times. Grief, characterized by feelings of profound sadness, loss, and longing, is a universal emotion that touches us all at some point in our lives. From the depths of emotional pain to the numbness of...
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How Can A Aviator Acronym A.N.C. Help You Heal Your Grief And Better Understand how To Help A Loved-one That Is grieving
Good Grief Relief
How can an acronym guide us on our healing journey? Aviate - Acknowledge the Emptiness:** Just as a pilot must maintain control of the aircraft despite turbulence, in grief recovery, In the early days of grief, the weight of loss can feel suffocating, as if the very air we breathe has abandoned us. It's as though our emotional landscape has been stripped bare, leaving us suspended in an empty void where even drawing a breath feels like an impossible task. Maybe we feel unsteady, as if our feet see now ground below. In acknowledging this profound emptiness, we find ourselves...
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Effective Grief Communication Strategies, Preparedness Over Scaredness, Curiosity Over Questions With Adele Anderson
Good Grief Relief
The way we communicate with someone who is grieving can significantly impact their experience. Not always asking direct questions but offering support through statements aligns with effective communication strategies in grief support. 1. **Avoiding Direct Questions:** Many people, when faced with grief, find it challenging to express their emotions in response to direct questions like "Are you okay?" While the intention behind such questions is often genuine concern, it can be overwhelming for the grieving person. They may not want to burden others with their pain or may...
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"Beyond Boundaries: Transformative Goal-Setting for a Resilient You"
Good Grief Relief
Join us in a soul-stirring exploration in our latest episode, where we unlock the transformative power of goal-setting. In this heartfelt journey, we guide you through the intricate paths of overcoming psychological challenges, paving the way for resilience, authenticity, and profound healing. 🔍 Insights into the Psychological Impact: Uncover the profound impact of life's experiences on traditional goal-setting methods. We provide deep insights into the challenges that may arise and offer powerful tools to shift these obstacles, ensuring you maintain the motivation needed to...
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A Grief Relief Retreat Designed To Ease Your Grief While Building Confidence And Inner Strength
Good Grief Relief
The profound journey of navigating through the loss of a loved one is acknowledged as one of life's most challenging trials. Recognizing the importance of intentional self-care and healing, the speaker shares insights gained from personal bereavement, emphasizing the immense capacity for evolution through adversity if sorrow does not immobilize us. In response to this understanding, a haven is offered on the Sunshine Coast—a private post and beam home nestled in 7 acres of serene beauty. This retreat promises solace and rejuvenation, surrounded by the tranquility of a private mineral lake,...
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Igniting Intrinsic Motivation: Unleashing the Power Within with Adele Anderson
Good Grief Relief
Embark on a transformative journey with our podcast episode, "Igniting Intrinsic Motivation: Unleashing the Power Within." In this heartfelt exploration, we dive into the profound impact of goal-setting on one's psyche and unveil tools to overcome challenges, ensuring that this year becomes your best. So get your journals ready Discover how life's experiences can create hurdles in traditional goal-setting, affecting motivation. We present powerful tools designed to shift this challenge, helping you carve a path toward your best year yet. Delve into the concept of resonance and learn how...
info_outlineI had my head in the sand, but I didn't know then what I know now. I had good friends caring for a loved one traversing life-threatening illness, but it wasn't until I found myself in their shoes did I truly understand just how challenging caregiving is.
In the past year I have found myself a regular visitor to the emergency department. Being the primary daughter for aging parents, I caught a glimpse of my worried look in a mirror. There is balancing act in caregiving, allowing autonomy while being an advocate, rather than being a control freak.
It's hard to watch the people we love struggle. But I found it even harder to listen deeply to a life altering conversation and to keep my mouth shut, until the appropriate time.
As my husband says, I got sick, not stupid! Allowing the communication between Doctor and patient to continue unimpeded is patient empowering. And even though we are a team and I had burning questions, I had to remain quiet and allow the patient first dibs at enquiry.
This difficulty in silence drew my awareness to how out of control I was feeling. What to do about and how to handle this disturbed inner energy. The need to be supportive and at the same time to understand medical terms, conditions, outcomes and variables that were mostly out of our control. Then understanding that when one is not well, or is frightened, overwhelmed, tired and just feeling horrible, that their thinking can be unclear. And there is so much information to absorb, that an extra pair of ears could be valuable.
This brings in the power of being present. When we feel frightened ourselves, how can we be the advocate we wish to be. It takes life skills in being present and that for me starts with breath. Making sure I'm breathing and then slowing my breath down.
This action alone can reduce stress and engage the parasympathetic nervous system so we can relax and think more clearly.
And I believe in the power of advocates, but the advocate requires emotional discipline and holds the wishes of the patient in the highest regard. A patient wants an advocate on our side, supporting, listening, asking the right questions and rallying around us when we are not at our best. But what happens when we advocate for a parent of a spouce and our heart is breaking, when we may also feel in control. What tools are available to the care giver or advocate then?
Self care is a good place to begin. Proper rest, sleep, nutrition. Keep emotions level by making notes, asking questions, planning scheduling, defining terms, organizing prescriptions; all cognitive functions; that settle emotions because our attention ion cognitive functions; and these processes take place in our neo-cortex.
When all possible stay out of the fear zone. harder to do without some key life skills for reducing stress.
I recall one of my first ER visits resulted because my dad had collapsed. We raced to the ER and braced ourselves for what seemed probable; watching the heart monitor that confirmed my father's heartbeat lagging 23, 22, 23, 21.
Doctors and nurses buzzed around the room, and we were informed that a helicopter ride and a pace maker was the best outcome. As the sound of the helicopter blades faded away, we settled into the knowledge that there was nothing more we could do that night. Rising the next morning at 5, we jumped in the car and headed for the ferry that would lead to Vancouver and onward to the hospital. My sister and I merged from opposite directions, and a mear 24 hours later, we were all eating dinner at the table surrounded by friends.
It might seem easy, but for months following that stressful event I found my hair everywhere. The stress had been very real and I needed to consider how better I could have managed my own emotional state. The next chance was already tuning in.
One month later, I had been to ER three times with Mom and another for my Dad, and I was becoming familiar with the drill.
Looking back, I know this experience began to prepare my brain and up level my stamina for what was on the horizon. I would soon require a well of life skills and resilience from the moment my husband's pancreatic cancer diagnosis appeared.
Picture a deep well filled with murky water, a compressed chest and difficulty breathing. Our harmonious life had just collapsed, and the force knocked us sideways.
I felt out of control, grief stricken, numb and stressed, exhausted and sleepless at the same time. The only thing to do was to keep doing. What ever I could, clean the floors, do the laundry, even if it was clean. Add in all the dozens of things around the home that he used to do. Work was not in short supply.
Sunrise broke through my eyelids, and the realization of a changed world would enter my mind. Fear and grief filled every cell, I felt anxiety all day, afternoon and night. I knew I needed to be present and that meant getting myself together.
Daily, I worked on myself, meditated, walked, cried, watched comedies, practiced gratitude, held on tight. Around and through, I cycled through practices I had practiced and taught for years. And grace appeared inside a quiet mind. What I desperately needed now was to remain focused and keep my eye on the desired outcome.
There was no doubt we had entered a long and arduous journey. I felt like we were at base camp and there was a very steep and dangerously precarious path ahead. One that I couldn't yet see. And truthfully I needed faith because the road ahead terrified me. To lose the person I have spent more of my life with, was unthinkable, and yet we all know that this could be the reality.
Every day was like the weather, different. One day I would get a flash of positivity and grasp for it only to feel it disappear again. Then, I would hear hope calming my panic, as the ground beneath crumbled.
Some days felt like I was tumbling in an avalanche and I could get my footing or a breath of air.
Today, I have a glimpse into what it is like to be a caregiver, but before, my perception was shallow, my voice and judgement undeniably inexperienced. I really had no concept.
Within my pain, there is so much gratitude for those who support us every day. Gratitude for our health team, and for the knowledge we do have choices available for us. But the greatest gift I have learned to date is a deeper empathy for those that travel this road with me, that have endured the pain before me, and for those who may one day find themselves in my shoes.
What I offer is strength, support, and comfort. The tools of neuroscience steadied my nerves. Self care and mindfulness add resilience. And if we know the ontological outcome, we desire for ourselves, we can cultivate our wellbeing and those we serve.
web: https://www.lifecoachadele.com
Connect with me for a conversation: https://live.vcita.com/site/pj6nd2nw1oky5ogs/online-scheduling?service=uf3n8209n8wavo1u
Recieve stress relief: https://live.vcita.com/site/pj6nd2nw1oky5ogs/online-scheduling?service=b27vg9mv55qcwgn8
On a previous episode with Anne Crook we talked about holding space for someone moving through challenge as either a care giver or for them selves: https://directory.libsyn.com/episode/index/id/17465483