Donna Wallace Harmon - phaware® interview 588

She Didn’t Just Survive Being Rare. She Made Meaning Out of It.

PH patient, Donna Wallace Harmon can’t fly. She lives with limits. She knows tomorrow isn’t guaranteed. But Donna refuses to live waiting for “someday.” Her motto is simple and defiant: Do the best I can when I can, because nobody knows what tomorrow holds.

My name is Donna Wallace Harmon. I was born in Jamaica, but I came to Canada in my early 20s. When I was born, I was a preemie with a VSD, a hole in my heart, but it wasn't repaired until 1990, because they didn't think it necessary at the time. As I grow older and then I started to complain that I'm getting cold and all the different stuff that comes with it, then, they decided to repair it. It was done at Toronto General by Dr. Tirone David and a bunch of other doctors. My regular doctor, my cardiologist, is Jack Colman from Mount Sinai, Toronto General. Along the way, I was fine until 2005. I realized I had swollen ankles. I went to the doctor, to the hospital as a matter of fact. They told me they will check it out. They gave me water tablets. I told them I had an appointment with my cardiologist in February of that time. They said, "Okay. Take this, which is Lasix, and then go see your cardiologist."

I went and he didn't like what he saw when we did our echo and all the necessary tests that I'd done when I went to see him prior years. He said he's going to get further testing. But within the time, February 3rd, to be exact, when I saw him, and the middle of February, I started to feel more tired. He said you should go see a respirologist, but I didn't know why. Along the way, I went visiting my friends. Upon returning, I fell. I didn't know that I broke my tibia and fibula. As a matter of fact, when I fell, I don't know what happened after. Someone came and found me on the floor and asked me if I live here. I told him, and they went and got my husband. Then, he called the ambulance, took me to the hospital, which was close by. Because I told him I was a cardiac patient, they tested everything with my heart, not listening that I can't walk, that there's something going on.

They called my cardiologist. I was transferred from one hospital to Toronto General, because Dr. Colman wanted to see me. I was supposed to leave the 6th of March. Then, the Sunday before the 6th of March, I coded, went into a coma. So many things happened during that time of the coma. They realized that I had pulmonary hypertension. That's why I was having the problems before, the swollen ankles and feeling tired, because my heart was working overtime for my lungs.

I was in a coma for about six to eight weeks. Then, I was on life support. I came out in May. From May, I left the ICU and went to a step-down area, not knowing what really happened, but eventually I was told I had pulmonary hypertension. I was shocked, because I never heard about it before, didn't know anything about it, but then I realized my life has changed. My leg was still broken. It wasn't healing. It took a year to heal, because of all the problems that happened to me during this time. I had to learn to walk. I had to learn to talk. I had to learn to eat again. I had to learn to write also during that time in the hospital.

Finally, I was out in August 10th, 2005. Although they sent me out, they weren't sure what was going to happen. I was still having problems. I was still learning to walk. I was still choking from my saliva and different problems arose. I had a thyroid problems, and all these little things happened along the way, but I came out. I got help. They arranged for help for me from different avenues. I got a walker. I got some PSW. I got a speech therapist to come and help me along the way. I used to go to church, so the people from the church would come and stay with me, including my family. If they had to work or if they had to do anything, they would come and stay with me because I couldn't be alone, because I couldn't walk and I couldn't do anything.

I had to gradually get used to it. It took a while for me. At first, it put me in a tailspin. What's going to happen? How come this happened? I never say why, but I say, "How come this happened? I did everything that I'm supposed to do, but how come this happened?" I didn't get down and out, but I used it as a stepping stone, and I try to do the best. Even when I don't feel like it, I do the best. When someone says, "Are you okay," I still say I'm okay, because I'm fighting that feeling that I am better than this. So, I keep pushing myself to move forward, although it's a struggle, but I still push forward.

That was 20 years ago. Now, I wrote a children's book. I got involved in things at church. They have a seniors program. I'm not really a senior, but I got involved in that, helping with whatever necessarily. Also, I do different activities. I go to this program that they have for retirees, but I consider myself somewhat retired, because I won't be going back to work. I would go there. They do craft. They do sewing. They have a book club. I like to read. So, I joined the book club, and they do art. Even at my church, they do art. So, I paint, although I'm not the best, but I paint.

I try to keep myself busy. I'm back to cooking, but not as much. I love cooking, but I can't do it the way I used to. Sometimes I bake, but it takes a lot out to me to be doing these things, but I push myself to do it. Book writing and the art came along because at church, there's some young people and because I like reading and they always tell me, "Oh, you're good at voiceover." I'm saying, "Me?" I never see myself as doing voiceover. So, they created a group so I could be in it. I could paint. I could read. I could do voiceover. So, that's how I get to start painting. Also I do voiceover for them. Whenever they write stuff, they have me reading it. Also, I wrote a book, To My Grandmother, a children's book, on behalf of my grandmother. With that, I'm surprised, because that was never in my thoughts before, but I surprised myself by doing this.

I'm thinking of doing another children's book, because I did this, the first one as twins and catered to the girls. So now I'm thinking of doing the other twin, which is a boy, the book for boys. I am surprised at myself in what I'm capable of doing, which I didn't expect to have done. I go on bus trips sometimes with groups of ladies, because I can't fly. I'm not allowed to fly. The last time I went away, I went to the US. I came back. I ended up in the hospital for about two weeks. So flying is a no-no for me right now, but that's okay. I do bus trips. I go different places with a bunch of ladies. They're always taking care of me, but I could take care of myself now. I don't need them, but I thank them for helping out along the way.

To get to this point of trying to do things on my own and doing other stuff, I'm fixated on reading, reading different kind of books. I also pray every day. I get myself knowledgeable, because I know I can't do stuff. So, I try to learn something new. At least once a week, I try to do something new to see if I'm capable of doing it. If I'm not, I let it go by and try something else. That's how I live right now, because I know I'm limited, but I won't let the limit hold me down.

I try and move forward with whatever I can do. I will help people. I will be a listener for someone, and if I could advise them on whatever they are talking about, I'll give them my two cents, whether they like it or not, but I'll give it to them. I do the best I can. That's my motto. Do the best I can when I can, because nobody knows what tomorrow holds. That's my motto. Nobody knows what tomorrow holds. So, do what you can today and not wait for tomorrow.

My name is Donna Wallace Harmon, and I'm aware that I'm rare.

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