Held Together: Healing Childhood Trauma Episode 3– Trauma, Shame, and the False Self
Restored: Where Psychology Meets Grace
Release Date: 03/24/2026
What Makes a Relationship Healthy? Trust, Attachment, and Emotional Safety
Restored: Where Psychology Meets Grace
Go Deeper with the Restored Reflection Journal Library If today's episode resonates with you, continue the journey through the Restored Reflection Journal Library. Subscribers receive exclusive access to the complete library of companion reflection journals, designed to help you move beyond listening and into meaningful personal growth through guided reflection, practical application, and prayer. Access the Reflection Journal Library here: Why do some relationships leave us feeling emotionally safe, while others leave us feeling anxious, guarded, or exhausted? In this opening episode...
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Restored: Where Psychology Meets Grace
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Restored: Where Psychology Meets Grace
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Restored: Where Psychology Meets Grace
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Restored: Where Psychology Meets Grace
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Restored: Where Psychology Meets Grace
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Restored: Where Psychology Meets Grace
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Restored: Where Psychology Meets Grace
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Restored: Where Psychology Meets Grace
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Restored: Where Psychology Meets Grace
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Why do so many of us carry a quiet sense that something is wrong with us… even when we can’t explain why?
In this episode of Held Together: Healing Childhood Trauma, we explore the connection between trauma, shame, and identity—and how early experiences shape the beliefs we carry about ourselves.
Building on the previous episodes, Dr. Malorie helps you understand how the roles you learned to survive are often rooted in something deeper: shame-based core beliefs formed in moments your nervous system was overwhelmed and trying to make sense of your world.
In This Episode, You’ll Learn:
• The difference between shame and guilt—and why it matters
• How shame forms in childhood when needs are not consistently met
• What defectiveness beliefs are and how they develop
• How trauma shapes identity—not just behavior
• The concept of the false self and why it forms
• How survival roles (achiever, peacemaker, independent, etc.) are connected to shame
• How Internal Family Systems (IFS) helps us understand protective parts with compassion
• Why shame continues to impact adult relationships, even when we don’t recognize it
If You’ve Ever Thought…
“I feel like I have to hold everything together.”
“If people really knew me, they wouldn’t stay.”
“I’m either too much… or not enough.”
This episode will help you understand where those beliefs may have come from—and why they feel so real.
What You’ll Begin to Understand
Shame doesn’t begin as a thought.
It begins as a felt experience in the nervous system—a child trying to make sense of disconnection, inconsistency, or overwhelm.
And over time, those experiences form beliefs like:
“I am not enough.”
“I am too much.”
“I am on my own.”
To cope with those beliefs, we develop roles—ways of being that help us stay connected, accepted, or safe.
But what once protected us can later leave us feeling disconnected from who we truly are.
Reflection for This Week
When you notice shame showing up, pause and ask:
“What am I believing about myself right now?”
Then gently remind yourself:
“That belief was learned.”
Healing begins not by forcing new beliefs—but by meeting old ones with compassion.
Resources Mentioned
• No Bad Parts – Richard Schwartz
• The Body Keeps the Score – Bessel van der Kolk
• Healing the Shame That Binds You – John Bradshaw
• The Gifts of Imperfection – Brené Brown
Coming Next
In Episode 4, we explore how trauma lives in the body—and why understanding the nervous system is essential for healing.
If you’ve ever felt like your body reacts before your mind can catch up, that conversation will meet you there.