Anxiety Doesn't Take the Holiday's Off: Setting the Tone for the Month | Ruth Chou Simons | Ep. 388

December is here, Advent is upon us, and while the world is speeding up, this conversation is an invitation to slow down, breathe deep, and remember that anxiety does not magically clock out for the holidays.

In this episode, we talk with Ruth about what it looks like to set the tone for the month of Advent with intention, slowness, and a heart that is more focused on Jesus than on performance, expectations, or a perfectly curated Christmas.

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Episode Overview

So often, December becomes a pressure cooker:

• Packed calendars

• Parties and performances

• Family expectations

• Untended relationships

• Mom guilt and spiritual guilt

If we are honest, it is easy to end the month exhausted, anxious, and wondering if we missed what Advent was really about.

This episode is a gentle reset. Together we talk about:

• Why your anxiety around the holidays is understandable

• How to set expectations and boundaries without guilt

• How to stop treating December like a spiritual performance review

• How to carry Advent rhythms into January, February, and beyond

• Practically preparing Him room in your actual life, not just your ideal one

And underneath all of it: the reminder that God really does see you, loves you, and is not grading your Christmas performance.

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Key Themes From the Conversation

• Advent as a beginning, not a box

  • Instead of cramming all spiritual depth into four weeks, we talk about Advent as the starting line for rhythms that can continue all year.

  • The goal is not a perfect December, but a reoriented heart that remembers Emmanuel, God with us, in every season.

• Letting go of holiday perfectionism

  • Naming how much of our striving is actually about approval, worth, and wanting to be seen as a good mom, good host, or good Christian.

  • Asking honest questions:

    • What do I think I will gain from doing all of this?

    • Is this truly about honoring Jesus or about proving something?

• Heart clutter and preparing Him room

  • Ruth shares how her work on Advent came out of her own struggle to feel like everything had to happen in December.

  • The phrase “prepare Him room” assumes there is clutter in our hearts that needs to be cleared, not just in our schedules.

• Permission to say no

  • You do not have to say yes to every party, event, or opportunity, even if they are all good things.

  • Sometimes the holiest thing you can do is guard a blank square on the calendar as “occupied by rest, family, and presence.”

• Repairing relationships without putting all the pressure on one month

  • We often try to fix a year’s worth of tension or distance in a single holiday season.

  • Advent is a beautiful time to begin the work of reconciliation, but not a demand to tie everything up with a bow by December 25.

• Parenting, anxiety, and what our kids actually see

  • Our kids are learning what Christmas is by watching us.

  • When they see us frantic, angry, and stressed, they learn that “this is what Christmas feels like.”

  • When they see us repent, reset, and re-center on Jesus, they witness the Gospel in real time.

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Scripture Threads in This Episode

• 3 John 1:2
  Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers.

• Luke 12:27
  Consider how the wild flowers grow. They do not labor or spin.

We talk about how Jesus pointed anxious hearts to birds and flowers as living reminders that the Father is not forgetful, and that our worth is not held together by our hustle.

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Practical Ways To Set the Tone for This Month

Here are some simple, realistic practices that came up in the conversation:

1. Decide your non negotiables

   • A daily or weekly family moment to pray, read a verse, or use an Advent resource.

   • A small rhythm that fits your actual life: after dinner, Saturday mornings, or before bed.

2. Mark the “nothing” days on your calendar

   • Literally block off blank days as taken.

   • Protect margin so there is room for real conversations, unhurried play, and quiet with God.

3. Saturate your environment with reminders of Jesus

   • Scripture on the walls, art that points your eyes up, worship and Advent music playing in the background, an open Bible on the table.

   • Let what you see, hear, and read pull your attention back to Him throughout the day.

4. Practice quick repentance, not long self condemnation

   • When you catch yourself spiraling, snapping, or worshiping your to do list, pause.

   • Talk with Jesus first:

     • Lord, I put this party, this list, or this image of myself on the throne. I am sorry. Please reorder my heart.

   • Then talk with your people:

     • Hey, I am sorry for how I just acted. That is not what I want this season to feel like for us. Can we reset and try again?

5. Pay attention to embodied people, not just online life

   • Online community is a gift, but the people under your roof and the ones who know your everyday life matter first.

   • Ask God to help you see them, listen to them, and be fully present with them.

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Reflective Questions For You

You might want to jot these down in a journal or talk them through with a friend or spouse:

• What is my real emotional temperature going into this month: anxious, hopeful, numb, overwhelmed?

• Where am I secretly hoping that a “perfect” Christmas will heal or fix something that actually needs long term tending with God?

• What are three things I can say no to this month so I can say a deeper yes to Jesus, my family, and rest?

• How can I build in daily “touch points” with God’s Word that fit my real life, not my ideal life?

• Where do I need to humble myself, apologize, or reset the tone in my home?

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