Kitchen Chats with Aimee Kandrac Episode 8: How To Help A Family With Special Needs
Release Date: 12/08/2022
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This episode of Kitchen Chats features host Aimee Kandrac and her friend Shannon Cohen discussing the multifaceted experience of empty nesting and living alone. They share their personal journeys of navigating the transition as their children went off to college, highlighting the initial strangeness of a quieter house and the adjustment to new routines. The conversation touches on relatable topics such as the changed grocery shopping habits, the shift in knowing their children's whereabouts, and the challenge of moving from active parenting to a more supportive role. Aimee and Shannon also...
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Host Aimee Kandrac and Dr. Samantha Franklin about the importance of allowing oneself to retreat after major life events. Here's a breakdown of the key themes and points discussed: Key Themes: The Validity of Retreating: The episode emphasizes that it's perfectly acceptable and often necessary to withdraw from social interactions after experiencing significant life changes. Dr. Franklin, a self-proclaimed introvert, explains how retreating provides comfort, control, and a space for emotional regulation. The hosts discuss how major life events can make individuals feel as though their lives...
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The Importance of Team
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This conversation between Aimee and Charlie explores the importance of teamwork during major life transitions. Here's a summary of their discussion: Teamwork Beyond Sports: While the concept of a team is often associated with sports, they emphasize its relevance in navigating life's challenges. Just as a race car driver relies on a pit crew, individuals facing transitions need a support system. Defining Your Team: They discuss the different roles people play on your team, from close family and friends to professionals like doctors or therapists. The team can also include unexpected...
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The Multifaceted Nature of Grief
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This podcast episode of Kitchen Chats explores the multifaceted nature of grief, emphasizing that it's not solely tied to death but arises from various life transitions like divorce, empty nesting, or even positive changes. Host Aimee Kandrac and guest, Ashley Parsons, discuss how the commonly referenced "five stages of grief" are often misapplied and can make people feel like they're grieving incorrectly. They highlight that grief and joy can coexist, and asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. The conversation offers practical advice for supporting someone grieving, stressing...
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The Emotional Toll of Moving
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This conversation between two friends, Aimee and Kristi, delves into the emotional and practical aspects of moving. This conversation provides a comprehensive overview of the many facets of moving and offers practical advice for both those who are moving and those who want to support them. Emotional Attachment to Homes: They emphasize the strong emotional connections people have with their homes, filled with memories and personal significance. This makes moving a complex process, even when it's desired. The Difficulty of Purging: Letting go of possessions, especially when tied to loved ones...
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The complexities of divorce
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This is a powerful conversation about the complexities of divorce and the importance of support systems. Here are some key takeaways: The Emotional Toll: Divorce is a deeply emotional experience, often involving grief, sadness, anger, and feelings of rejection. The Impact on Social Life: Navigating social interactions after separation can be challenging. People often feel the pressure to explain their situation while simultaneously wanting to protect their privacy. The Importance of Support: Friends and family play a crucial role in providing emotional support. Checking in regularly, offering...
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This is a fascinating conversation between two sisters! Here's a summary of their discussion: The Impact of Major Life Events: They delve into the emotional and practical challenges of navigating significant life transitions, such as a cancer diagnosis, divorce, and the subsequent emotional and social isolation. The Role of Support Systems: Stephanie emphasizes the importance of trusted confidantes and the delicate balance of offering support while respecting boundaries. They discuss the concept of "kitchen counter" vs. "sidewalk" relationships, highlighting the varying levels of intimacy and...
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Major Life Transitions
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Kitchen Chats is a podcast where friends come together to support each other through major life transitions. This season, host Aimee Kandrac shares her own experiences with personal challenges, including: Empty nesting: Dealing with the emotional impact of her youngest child leaving for college. Health concerns: Discovering a potential tumor and undergoing surgery. Divorce: Unexpectedly separating from her husband. Moving: Selling her family home after the separation. Aimee emphasizes that while these events were incredibly difficult, she ultimately found healing and happiness with the...
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Kitchen Chats with Aimee Kandrac Episode 25: Live from the Maven Space with Rachel Macy Stafford
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Live from the Maven Space in downtown Indianapolis, Aimee Kandrac reunites with Rachel Macy Stafford, best-selling author of Hands Free Mama, Only Love Today, Soul Shift, and more. Aimee and Rachel discuss the challenge of letting go of routine, especially during times of crisis. They also share touching words of encouragement from friends and neighbors, emphasize the importance of looking after yourself, and destigmatize asking for help. Episode Abridged Transcript Aimee: Welcome to Kitchen Chats. Today we are coming to you live from Maven Space in downtown Indianapolis. I am so honored to...
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Kitchen Chats with Aimee Kandrac Episode 24: Navigating Grief with Hope and Purpose
WhatFriendsDo: Kitchen Chats
In this poignant and heartfelt podcast episode, Aimee chats with Colin Campbell, author of Finding the Words: Working Through Profound Loss with Hope and Purpose. Colin, who experienced the tragic death of his two children, shares his personal journey. He also offers profound insights on navigating grief after profound loss and finding solace in community and traditions. Episode Highlights Share a heartfelt message. After the tragic death of his two children, Colin had many messages pouring into his inbox. One of the most memorable and heartwarming came from his son’s friend, who wrote how...
info_outlineLife-changing events can be a regular occurrence and especially challenging for families that have someone with special needs, something that Jen DeMotte knows first-hand as the parent of a child with special needs and autism. On the episode, Aimee chats with Jen about some of the most helpful things other people have done for her family during difficult circumstances. Jen also gets real about some of the challenges of being a parent to a child with special needs as well as the moments of joy and connection.
Episode Highlights
Special needs families may be reluctant to accept help.
If a family has a member with special needs, their daily life will be very specialized and likely incredibly different from yours. Oftentimes, people with special needs struggle with changes to their routines and have unique health needs that can make it difficult for families to accept help.
“How we live life is so different and specialized,” Jen said. “A lot of times when folks offer to help it’s difficult for me to accept.”
If you do want to help a family with special needs, Jen recommends directly asking what you can do to help. Suggestions include:
- Doing the laundry
- Buying a Costco-size version of a favorite snack (with approval)
- Sitting with a caregiver while they make insurance calls
- Carpooling other family members to places they need to go
Don’t judge.
The home of a person with special needs is often one of their only safe places in the world where they are loved and accepted unconditionally. So if you’re helping someone with special needs -- especially in their home -- make sure you’re respecting that safe, judgment-free space. You also should stick to routines and follow instructions given by parents and caregivers even if you don’t understand why things must be done in a particular way.
“It is hard when someone comes into our house and says, Why don’t you just do this?’” Jen said. “Because it doesn’t work. Everything we do is different.”
Be ready for anything.
Offering to help a person with special needs means being prepared to help with tasks you may find weird. For instance, when Jen was potty training her then-8-year-old daughter, therapists recommended that her daughter not wear pants around the house, so she could understand what was happening. While the technique may sound odd to outsiders, it worked, and even years later, Jen is grateful to people who helped her family during that time.
“You just need one person to be like, ‘Just tell me what you’re doing, and I will do it, and you can take a breath,’” Jen said.
Sometimes the best help is just to listen.
Daily life can sometimes be challenging for parents of a child with special needs, and the best thing you can do is just to sit and listen. That can mean comforting a parent if they need to vent or celebrating a milestone, even if it looks different than you might expect.
“I love our life, but sometimes life is really hard,” Jen said. “There’s joy in those kitchen counter moments where some says, ‘Just tell me about your day. What happened?’”
Resources + Links
- Aimee Kandrac: Website, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn
- WhatFriendsDo: Website, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn
About Aimee and WhatFriendsDo
Aimee Kandrac is a speaker, consultant, and the co-founder and CEO of WhatFriendsDo. Her work is instrumental for organizing support during life-changing events, and she speaks to organizations about creative ways to help friends and family during times of crisis. Aimee has been recognized as a Top 50 Mompreneur by Babble.com and is the first female CEO in the state of Indiana to close a $500,000 funding round. She has been featured in Forbes, Time, the LA Times, Oprah.com, the Indianapolis Star, and more.
WhatFriendsDo is a simpler way to create organized and actionable support during a time of crisis. The free, online platform empowers healthcare facilities, HR departments, families, and friends to easily coordinate meals, errands, transportation, childcare, communication, and more for those in the midst of a life-changing event. The women-founded and women-led company started as a solution for a friend with terminal cancer. WhatFriendsDo is based out of Indianapolis.