Navigating Big Emotions with Allison Davis Maxon M.S., LMFT

I am so thrilled to have had the chance to connect with Allison Davis Maxon, a name that is truly synonymous with expertise in child welfare and children's mental health. Allison's insights and contributions to the fields of developmental trauma and adoption are nothing short of transformative.

Not only does Allison hold the position of Executive Director at the National Center on Adoption and Permanency, she also brought her expertise to Hollywood, serving as a foster care consultant for the heartwarming Paramount Pictures movie Instant Family! If you haven't already, I highly suggest that you go watch it!

Throughout our conversation, we discuss the concepts which she explores in her co-authored book, Seven Core Issues in Adoption and Permanency, a book that is truly a must-read for anyone interested in understanding the complex world of adoption and permanency! 

I have been a longtime admirer of Allison's work and am so happy to share this platform with her. Her dedication and knowledge are truly inspiring, and if I sound like a fangirl during our chat, it’s because I wholeheartedly am.

Join us as we cover some enlightening ground, diving into the world of developmental trauma and the importance of creating lasting bonds and secure attachments in adoptive families. While I don't want to give too much away, I assure you that this episode is filled with valuable insights and heartfelt discussions, so if you are at all curious about fostering healing and connection in children’s lives or want to hear directly from a leader shaping the future of child welfare, this is an episode that you most definitely will not want to miss!

Highlights:

[1:36] - Allison points out how it's important to support each other, to keep learning, and to connect with like-minded people on the frontlines.

[3:07] - Allison shares how she fell into this work by accident, learning as much from the kids as they did from her.

[6:00] - Children in foster care struggle to trust due to constant changes, but they need stability and belonging.

[7:43] - It is hard to be trusted by youth when you know that you won’t be there long-term.

[9:14] - Allison focuses on being real and honest with youth, acknowledging her temporary role in their lives.

[11:06] - Allison brings her best by being self-aware, understanding trauma, and supporting children with authenticity and presence.

[14:11] - “Bumping into ghosts" helps explain reactions, as past trauma can trigger emotional responses in the present.

[14:50] - Children often don't understand their emotions, so adults should be curious and not demand explanations.

[16:04] - Allison teaches adults to manage stress to help children de-escalate, using physical outlets to release emotions.

[19:19] - Allison redirects youth to physical activities to help them calm down before discussing upsetting feelings.

[21:58] - Allison's workbook helps children recognize and express emotions, normalizing feelings like anger that is tied to pain.

[23:16] - Children who internalize distress need our attunement, as their silent suffering often goes unnoticed.

[26:45] - Allison explains the four Ss - seeing, safety, security, and soothing - and how they help ground children in the present moment.

[32:32] - Trauma-informed care helps children share their experiences, especially when behaviors mask deeper, unmet needs.

[34:46] - After a dissociative episode, Allison gently acknowledges the child's presence, allowing an emotional release.

[36:26] - Hear how a young person felt safe enough with Allison to share her story, prompting a two-year healing journey.

[39:00] - Foster children suffer trauma from instability; offering choices empowers them and helps manage anger.

[42:57] - There is a difficulty in avoiding power struggles and vicarious trauma while supporting children.

[44:10] - Supporting children in care requires validating feelings and offering consistent, unconditional commitment without quick fixes.

[45:57] - Allison builds trust with children by authentically listening, acknowledging their pain, and engaging in physical activities.

[48:56] - Racket rooms make for a great resource for stress relief!

[49:44] - Allison values mentorship, sharing mistakes, radical self-forgiveness, and honest feedback for personal and professional growth.

[52:00] - Allison thanks CASA workers for their invaluable work, encouraging more recruitment to support children in the system.

[52:35] - Allison is thanked for her wisdom; listeners should explore becoming CASA advocates!

Links & Resources:

Voices for CASA Children - Website

National CASA/ GAL Association for Children

Allison’s Website

Allison’s Facebook Page

Allison’s X Page

Allison Davis Maxon - The Seven Core Issues in Adoption and Permanency Workbook for Children and Teens: A Trauma-Informed Resource