49. Consensual Non-Consent (aka: Don't...Stop... Don't Stop)

TRIGGER WARNING: This episode and article discusses consensual non-consent. Consensual non-consent, or rape play, involves consenting adults pretending not to consent to sexual activities, and may be triggering to some people, especially survivors of sexual assault. Please use your discretion as to whether or not this content is right for you.

Have you ever fantasized about being ravished by a handsome burglar?  Did you grow up reading "bodice ripper" romance novels and want to play out the scenes that you read?  Do you sometimes hope your trusted partner will take what he (or she) wants, no matter how hard you protest or struggle?  If yes, then you might be into Consensual Non-Consent. 

In this episode, the Wives discussed what CNC is and why so many women fantasize about it. They also get excellent advice from tenured professor and relationship coach, Dr. Tara.

But first, it's time for Fall, bitches! Whip up our latest cocktail, the Autumn Sangria while listening to Ams' Hot Tale - after some hot vacation sex with Mr. Kat, Ams gets in trouble with Mr. Ams and he has naughty punishment in store. If you love power play and have a thing for punishment kink, this Hot Tale is for you! 

 

Then, the Wives discuss their current knowledge past experiences with CNC.

Consensual non-consent, otherwise known as CNC, rape fantasy or rape play, involves consenting adults pretending to engage in forced, coerced or non-consensual sex.

CNC is not one-size fits all. It’s not even just rape play. CNC includes:

• Rape Fantasy – a person is forced to perform sexual acts
• Somnophilia – sexual acts while one person is asleep
• Kidnapping Fantasy – someone is abducted and/or held against their will
• Blackmail Fantasy – the “victim” must do as the blackmailer demands to avoid unpleasant circumstances
• Selling Fantasy – a person is sold for sexual or manual labor against their will
• Hypnosis – A person is hypnotized and used for erotic purposes

As with all the kinks we explore, consent is the key difference between a healthy exploration of sex and a crime.

Also, as with most of the kinks we explore on 2HW, there is no one right way to do this. The Wives deconstruct the components of this type of play and explore each element so that, for any woman who is interested in this kink and wants to explore, she can take what she wants and leave what she doesn’t want.

Because of the sensitive nature of this kink, this episode focuses on our mission of exploring in a safe, female-identifying only space. If you are a male listener and this turns you on, you might be shit-outa-luck if you don’t have an enthusiastically interested partner. We highly recommend that you don’t push an agenda for this kink. Your partner is either enthusiastically interested or not.

But for women who are interested in exploring CNC, hopefully by the end of this episode, you feel a little less alone in your interest, a little more normal, and a little more equipped to explore it in a safe way.

Next, the Wives chat with Dr. Tara, professor and host of the LuvBites podcast on how to explore CNC in a safe, sane and consensual way.

Finally, the Wives assign themselves sexy homework and discuss how to set this up with their potentially reluctant husbands. 

A very special thanks to Abbey Snider for editing assistance on this episode!  You can check out Abbey's podcast, Sweet Baby Gay at https://abbeydotproductions.com/. 

 

Dr. Tara is a tenured professor of relational and sexual communication at California State University Fullerton (recieved her tenure at the age of 33), an award-winning researcher, a sex and relationship coach, and the host of Luvbites by Dr. Tara Podcast that focuses on sexual wellness and sexploration. Her work has been featured in Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health Magazine, Insider, and other media outlets. She's also the Relationship Tech consultant for Couply and Scratch Adventure mobile apps.