How To Outsmart A Narcissist

Hey beautiful souls, and welcome back to The Meredith Patterson Podcast—where we talk all things empowerment, mindset, healing, and gorgeous living from the inside out. Today, we’re getting real about a toxic energy that too many of us have dealt with—maybe in a relationship, in a workplace, or even in our own families. Yep, I’m talking about narcissists.

Now before we dive into the 5 ways to outsmart them, let’s talk about what a narcissist actually is—because this term gets thrown around a lot. Not everyone with confidence or a big personality is a narcissist. We’re talking about true narcissistic behavior—a pattern of manipulation, lack of empathy, and an intense need for control, attention, and admiration, often at the expense of others.

Narcissists are charming—at first. They’re often magnetic, successful, and persuasive. But once the mask slips, you start to notice the gaslighting, the guilt-tripping, the emotional rollercoasters, and the constant power plays.

And here’s the kicker: narcissists can show up in many different forms. So let’s go through the 5 types of narcissistsyou might encounter.

 

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🌪️ 1. The Grandiose Narcissist

Also known as the “classic” narcissist. Think loud, arrogant, entitled, and always seeking attention. They exaggerate their achievements and expect to be worshipped.

Example: Your boss who constantly brags about being the best in the industry but throws a tantrum when someone else gets credit.

 

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🌫️ 2. The Vulnerable (or Covert) Narcissist

This one’s sneaky. They play the victim, seem insecure, but still manipulate others through guilt, passive-aggressiveness, and emotional blackmail.

Example: That friend who constantly needs reassurance, but subtly puts you down to make themselves feel better.

 

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🔥 3. The Malignant Narcissist

This one is dangerous. It’s narcissism mixed with cruelty. They lie, manipulate, and intentionally cause harm. Often seen in abusive relationships.

Example: A partner who isolates you from your friends, controls your choices, and then blames you for “being too sensitive.”

 

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🎭 4. The Communal Narcissist

They seem like saints—always talking about how generous, helpful, or moral they are—but it’s all about their image. Their “kindness” is performative.

Example: That relative who donates to charity and posts about it constantly but gossips and belittles people behind closed doors.

 

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🧠 5. The Intellectual Narcissist

They dominate conversations with their “superior” knowledge. They belittle others, especially if you challenge them or don’t agree.

Example: A coworker who constantly corrects everyone, dismisses other opinions, and uses intelligence to intimidate.

 

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🎯 So now that you can recognize the type of narcissist in your life, let’s talk about how to disarm and outsmart them. Because you can protect yourself, you can break free from their hold, and you can regain your peace of mind.

 

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🔐 5 WAYS TO OUTSMART A NARCISSIST

 

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1. Respond with Short, Emotionless Replies

Why it works:
Narcissists feed on your energy—especially your emotional reactions. By giving them nothing to feed on, you cut the power cord.

How to do it:
Keep your tone flat. Use brief, neutral responses like:

• “Okay.”

• “Noted.”

• “I’ll think about it.”

Example:
They say: “You’ve changed. You’re not even trying anymore.”
You reply: “Thanks for your opinion.”
No arguing. No defending. Just… done.

 

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2. Flip Their Tactics Back on Them

Why it works:
Narcissists love projecting and shifting blame. When you mirror their behavior, it creates confusion—and sometimes even awareness.

How to do it:
Say things like:

• “That sounds like something you’ve done.”

• “Interesting—why do you think you feel that way?”

• “You always talk about honesty, so I’m being honest.”

Example:
They accuse: “You’re always so dramatic.”
You respond: “Hmm. That’s something I’ve noticed about you, actually.”
Let that echo sit there.

 

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3. Silence is Power

Why it works:
They expect you to react. When you don’t, they lose control. Silence creates discomfort—for them—and strength for you.

How to do it:

• Pause before replying.

• Leave texts unanswered.

• Exit conversations when they turn toxic.

Example:
They say something cruel in a group setting.
Instead of reacting, you lock eyes… smile… and say nothing. Then keep talking to someone else.
Now they’re the one squirming.

 

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4. Make Boundaries Sound Like It’s Their Idea

Why it works:
Narcissists don’t respect boundaries—unless they feel like they’re the ones setting them.

How to do it:
Use language that plays to their ego.

• “You’re probably right, space would help us both.”

• “Since you value independence, I’ll handle this myself.”

Example:
They demand your time constantly.
You say: “You’ve said how important alone time is for you—I’m going to honor that and take a few days to myself.”
Boundary set, drama avoided.

 

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5. Stay Unpredictable

Why it works:
Narcissists want routine responses. If you’re unpredictable, they can’t manipulate or anticipate your behavior.

How to do it:

• Say no when they expect yes.

• Don’t always explain yourself.

• Change the way you respond—sometimes silence, sometimes direct.

Example:
They say: “You always give in eventually.”
You respond: “Not this time.”
And you don’t. That shock? That’s you taking back your power.

 

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So let’s recap the episode:

✨ 5 Types of Narcissists:

1. Grandiose

2. Vulnerable

3. Malignant

4. Communal

5. Intellectual

🔐 5 Ways to Outsmart Them:

1. Keep replies short and emotionless

2. Flip their tactics

3. Use silence as strength

4. Frame boundaries as their idea

5. Stay unpredictable

Here’s the truth: you can’t change a narcissist—but you can change the way you interact with them. You can protect your peace, keep your energy sacred, and reclaim your voice.

If this episode resonated with you, please share it with a friend who needs this message. And don’t forget to subscribe, leave a review, or DM me with your own experiences and insights—I love hearing your stories.

Until next time, stay grounded, stay glowing, and always remember: you are worth protecting.