EP 38: Interview with Michael Webb: Understanding the 'Psychological Games' Couples Play With Each Other
Release Date: 04/15/2025
EP 54: Guest Amanda Asproni Discusses: What Does Weaponizing Therapy or Coaching Look Like?
Sam's Healing Podcast
When infidelity or addiction has shaken a relationship, couples often turn to coaching or therapy for healing. These tools are designed to help people rebuild trust, understand pain, and create healthier patterns. At their best, they provide safety, empathy, and clarity. But when the language and frameworks of therapy or coaching are misused, they can become weapons. Instead of supporting healing, they deepen wounds, reinforce blame, and prevent genuine repair. After cheating or addiction, emotions are raw. One partner may grasp at therapy concepts to regain control or avoid...
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EP 53: How Could You? An Unfaithful Shares How He Allowed Himself to Cheat
Sam's Healing Podcast
Why does the unfaithful cheat or act out? What allows them to go against their moral compass and engage in an extramarital affair? How do they justify it to themselves? The truth may challenge what you've come to believe about some unfaithful partners. For some it's anger and getting their needs met. For others it can even be subconscious retaliation for the perceived rejection by their partner or spouse. For others it's an exit affair. Today you'll hear from Ryan who shares his own individual story of why he acted out and what was going on inside...
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EP 52: "I Was About to Lose Everything I Valued...." Interview with Ryan a Former Unfaithful
Sam's Healing Podcast
Have you ever wondered what goes through the mind of an unfaithful when they are about to lose everything? Have you considered that maybe, just maybe there are those who sober up, realize what they are about to lose and actually do recovery work? Today you'll hear from Ryan again, a former unfaithful who shares more of his compelling journey to healing as an unfaithful spouse who finally GOT IT. He's no rock star. He's no superman or super human. He's simply one of so many who have chosen to do the work and do whatever it takes to save his family. Maybe...
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EP 51: Interview with Adam Nisenson "Well...you did that for them...why won't you do it for me?"
Sam's Healing Podcast
What does the betrayed do when they feel as though the unfaithful just won't do the work? Yet, the unfaithful, seemingly showed all sorts of effort to pursue their affair partner? What choices does the betrayed male have in understanding the heart and mind of the unfaithful woman? Are there parallels between the unfaithful male and unfaithful female? Today you'll hear from returning guest Adam Nisenson, AKA The Betrayal Shrink, as he answers these tough questions and more. Adam combines his extensive clinical skills with a deeply empathetic heart in his role as a...
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EP 50: Interview with a former unfaithful: "I Was Afraid to Let Go of the Lies..."
Sam's Healing Podcast
Today’s episode is a story that begins where most love stories unravel: with a lie. Actually… with many lies. Our guest today is a great friend of mine and was also unfaithful to his wife. But the cheating, while devastating, was only part of the story. What nearly destroyed everything wasn't just the act—it was the lies that followed. The deception. The pretending. The carefully managed version of the truth, told piece by piece, always leaving something out and or 'trickle truthing'. And every time he lied—whether to cover his tracks, avoid a hard conversation, or protect himself from...
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EP 49: Tyler Patrick LMFT Discusses Avoidance and Defensiveness in the Life of the Unfaithful Spouse
Sam's Healing Podcast
Tyler Patrick LMFT returns to the podcast to discuss why we the unfaithful constantly revert to defensiveness and avoidance when trying to heal ourselves or our relationships. Have you ever wondered why you, the unfaithful, will fire back to your partner's questions or comments with harsh defensiveness? Can you remember a time when you WEREN'T DEFENSIVE? What about avoidance? Has avoidance become your best friend when it comes to surviving infidelity as well as life's stresses and anxieties? Do you think there is a reason you're avoidant? Has it proven to...
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EP 48: "I've Got You Now..." A Psychological Game Couples Play When Trying to Heal from Infidelity
Sam's Healing Podcast
Continuing the series on "Psychological Games Couples Play," Michael Webb and I discuss another game within the realm of Psychological Games. This game is not only deep but usually ingrained within the communication style of one or both parties. It's called "I've Got You Now...." It's one of the most insidious games couples fall into subconsciously as they seek to heal from infidelity and betrayal trauma. While able to be overcome and eventually diffused, it requires a deeper journey into the mind and trauma, of the unfaithful and betrayed. Couples who are dealing...
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EP 47: A One on One Discussion with Psychotherapist Lauren LaRusso on Infidelity and Betrayal Trauma
Sam's Healing Podcast
Today you'll meet Lauren LaRusso, a well known face on social media and true expert to those looking for hope, healing and new life after the discovery of infidelity. Lauren holds a bachelor's degree in Psychology and Creative Writing from The College of the Holy Cross in Worcester, MA, and a Masters in Professional Counseling from The University of Pennsylvania in Philadelphia, PA. In her years of work as a psychotherapist in private practice, Lauren has helped countless individuals and couples process the extramarital affairs that are impacting their life. Infidelity affected...
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EP 46: A Betrayed Male Shares His Story of How He & His Wife Saved Their Marriage After Infidelity
Sam's Healing Podcast
Healing from infidelity is no easy task. Whether a betrayed male or female, the pain can feel as though it has no purpose, no redemption and no light at the end of the tunnel. Today you'll meet Randall who shares his own story of not only excruciating emotional pain and hurt, but also how he and his wife have found healing, joy and redemption. Randall pulls no punches as he shares insight into what worked for him and what didn't work. What provided clarity and what caused even more hurt pain and confusion. Ultimately, Randall knew he had to get healthy for him....
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EP 45: "We're Stuck After the Disclosure of Infidelity" When is it Time for an Intensive?
Sam's Healing Podcast
Today, relationship and expert therapist James Annear joins me to discuss when it's time to forgo individual or couples work and proceed right ahead to an intensive. If you're on my page, you know the disclosure of infidelity is a devastating moment in any relationship. Whether the betrayal was emotional, physical, or both, it strikes at the core of trust and safety between partners. While many couples turn to individual or weekly couples therapy for support and guidance, there are circumstances where this traditional approach may not be sufficient. In some cases, a relationship...
info_outlineEver find yourself in the same frustrating argument with someone, especially your spouse— even though it starts off innocent and you swear this time it’ll go differently? But somehow, it spirals into a familiar mess?
That’s not just bad luck. You might be stuck in a psychological game.
Psychological games are repetitive patterns of hidden communication people play with each other, often unconsciously. They seem harmless on the surface, but they end with someone feeling hurt, guilty, or angry — just like before.
These games follow a pattern:
A hidden motive or unspoken message
A predictable sequence of interactions
A negative payoff (emotional discomfort or conflict)
They’re not about fun — more like emotional traps that we fall into, often learned in childhood, resulting in confusion, hurt feelings and deep seated resentment.
Transactional Analysis, developed by psychiatrist Eric Berne, is a theory of communication and personality. In TA, our interactions are seen as “transactions” between different parts of ourselves:
👶 Child (emotions, creativity, needs, or rebellion)
👨👩👧 Parent (rules, judgments, values — often inherited from authority figures)
🧑 Adult (rational, in-the-moment decision-making)
When people interact, they’re often unconsciously switching between these ego states. Games happen when there’s a mismatch or hidden motive behind a transaction — for example, someone may act like they want help (Adult to Adult), but are actually seeking to feel victimized (Child to Parent).
Today Michael Webb shares how couples subconsciously participate in these games, especially those dealing with infidelity or addiction.