No Nips for Us! Strip Club Review feat. Ryan Keely & Dana Scarborough [Episode 69 Special Part Two]
Release Date: 11/27/2024
"Fine" Dining
Joe’s Crab Shack has been serving seafood and sass since 1991 — but who is Joe? In this week’s episode, I dig deep into the murky origins of this kitschy crustacean-themed chain, uncovering mystery, missteps, and marketing that somehow works. From accidentally boozed-up babies to scandalous decorations and trans fat deception, Joe’s has made some serious waves. Plus, I’m joined by longtime friend and podcast voice Sandy Rose to question whether you can truly trust a restaurant that sells shirts saying “I’ve Got Crabs.” Is Joe’s just a goofy seafood joint? Or a case study in...
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We finally ate at Panera Bread — and while the bakery items impressed, the rest of the experience was a chaotic medley of kiosk confusion, bathroom code injustice, and raw onion overload. I’m joined once again by Lyss Johnson (comedian, friend, and former Panera employee) as we break down every detail of our in-person visit to the iconic soup-slinging, salad-stacking chain. Can the cinnamon crunch bagel save this spot from mediocrity? Or is Panera coasting on vibes and vending machine tech? 🥯 The Cinnamon Crunch Bagel That Nearly Ruined Our Lives (In a Good Way) 🍲 Fireside Chili in a...
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🚨 Panera Bread: Infinite Refills, Chicken Fights & Lemonade Lawsuits 🚨 From a humble Missouri bakery to one of the most recognizable fast-casual chains in the country, Panera Bread has been on a wild ride. This week, I dive deep into the breadbasket of chaos that is Panera’s history — including aggressive ad campaigns, billion-dollar innovations, and a beverage scandal that stirred national headlines. Plus, I’m joined by Lyss Johnson — comedian and former Panera employee — to break down what it’s really like behind the counter at America’s favorite soup & salad...
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🍦 We Drove 2 Hours for Dairy Queen – Was It Worth It? 🍦 We hit the road and drove nearly two hours to the nearest Dairy Queen Grill & Chill to finally see if there’s more to DQ than just frozen nostalgia. We tried three burgers (including a surprisingly delicious Flamethrower), fries, onion rings, chicken tenders, and two iconic desserts—the Blizzard and the Banana Split. The building looked half-abandoned, the service felt five-star, and the bathroom was designed by David Lynch, apparently. Is Dairy Queen just a dessert destination with a food menu on the side—or is it a...
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Dairy Queen is more than just ice cream—it was one of the first fast-food chains to take over America. In this episode, we dive into how a self-proclaimed chemist helped perfect soft serve, why DQ dominated the 1950s, and the moment that changed everything: the invention of the Blizzard. Joining me is writer & director Tyler Eaton of the new horror-comedy film Mysterious Ways, as we explore Dairy Queen’s rise, its questionable hot food menu, and whether it still lives up to its legendary status today. 🎙 IN THIS EPISODE: 🍦 How Dairy Queen exploded to 1,400+ locations in just 10...
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After avoiding it for over a decade, I finally stepped back inside a Taco Bell—and I was not ready for what I found. The Baja Blast? Genuinely delicious. The Crunchwrap Supreme? A smart design, poorly executed. The guacamole? It's giving Home Depot. In this episode, comedian & actress Priya Pappu joins me to break down the good, the not good, and everything in between about eating inside a Taco Bell. From its strangely sterile atmosphere to its impressively bad beef portions, we’re analyzing it all to find out if it truly represents fast-food mediocrity. 🎙 IN THIS EPISODE: Does...
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Taco Bell Is the Most Creative Fast Food Restaurant—But At What Cost? Taco Bell is the fast-food chain that isn’t afraid to get weird. Over the years, they’ve served up bold (and sometimes questionable) menu items like the Naked Chicken Chalupa, the Firecracker Burrito, and even a Kit Kat Quesadilla. But alongside its reputation for creativity, Taco Bell has a messy history—food recalls, bizarre marketing stunts, and legal battles that only Taco Bell could pull off. In this episode, comedian Priya Pappu joins me to unpack the history of America’s most inventive fast-food chain. We...
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Subway’s reputation has been circling the drain for years—but is it really as bad as people say? We tried a bunch of footlongs and we've got thoughts. This week, Terral Wells joins me to put the country’s most common fast-food chain to the test. From a pretzel drier than the Mojave Desert to an interior design aesthetic that actively made Terral upset, we break down every moment of our subpar experience. "Fine" Dining is now on video! Head on over to to WATCH this episode! WHAT WE COVER IN THIS EPISODE: 🥖 Is there anything redeemable about Subway? 🫠 The footlong...
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Subway’s history is WAY messier than you think. Sure, it’s the biggest fast-food chain in America, but behind the Eat Fresh™ branding lies a disastrous past filled with lawsuits, bizarre marketing stunts, and yes… Jared Fogle. In this episode, Terral Wells joins me to uncover Subway’s wildest moments, from its humble beginnings as a way to fund med school to the time they got sued because their footlongs weren’t actually a foot long. Oh, and did you know there’s a Subway fashion show? Or that you can order something called the Infinite Destroyer sandwich in Tokyo? We’re...
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Hooters Casino Hotel—now rebranded as OYO Hotel & Casino—has been called the worst hotel on the Vegas Strip. But is it really that bad? We put it to the ultimate test by spending 19 hours trapped inside, eating Hooters for dinner AND breakfast (because yes, this is the only Hooters in the country that serves breakfast). And if that wasn’t enough? We also hit up Aussie Heat (a male strip show), sang Dear Theodosia at karaoke (to everyone’s disappointment), and dealt with clogged toilets, broken elevators, and staff who couldn’t care less. "Fine" Dining is now on video! Head...
info_outlineNo Nut November + the 69th Restaurant! Nice!
Note: One of the mics wasn't working properly. It should sound fine, but Dana is a little quieter than I would've liked. Apologies in advance.
Note #2: This was also recorded before the decision was made to shake up the show's format this season, so it's the final episode to contain "This Is Way Too Much," "What's Going On Over There?" and no super awesome cold opens.
- Sam's Hofbrau is technically a strip club, but not based on what we experienced! I brought adult film star Ryan Keely and Dana Scarborough of the I Seduce the Dragon podcast to the strip club for the food which is like reading Playboy for the articles!
- A metal detector that everyone's setting off, and no one's doing anything about it
- Ryan details why we legally weren't able to see any nips
- "It's my first day"
- What's Going On Over There with Herbert asking an actively-dancing stripper to do a pull-up??
- What we ate: Street tacos, hamburger, breakfast sandwich, wings, fries, & coffee
- Ryan trashes J.W. Marriott while Dana lauds Korean BBQ in the Calibration Station
- Ryan tries to cause chaos by unrigging and rerigging the You-Must Bowl drawing to force me to go somewhere of her choosing next week
- "Fine" Dining is now on video! Head on over to my YouTube to watch this episode!
Music by: James McEnelly (@Ramshackle_Music)
Theme Song by: Gabe Alvarez (@spooky.gabe)
Segment Transitions Voiced by: Sandy Rose
"Fine" Dining is on Patreon! Get an extra episode every month (My November Patreon exclusive episode about Pacific Northwest Seafood institution Ivar's Acres of Clams comes out in just a few days on the 30th! From bomb threats to no working water, my guest, author Temple West and I went through a LOT just to eat here), extended Yelp from Strangers segments every other week, merch discounts, download access to our music including the 7 singles from our Olive Garden musical, and more!
Patreon Producers: Joyce Van, & Sue Ornelas
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Next week on "Fine" Dining: California Pizza Kitchen History [Part One]! Comedian Holly Brown Ioves CPK with a passion, so naturally she had to be my guest. Ever work at California Pizza Kitchen? Send your stories to [email protected].