The Madness of Unforgiveness: Forgiveness is Not Reconciliation
Release Date: 03/21/2025
The Madness of Unforgiveness: Imprecatory Psalms
A Moment of Hope
by David Chadwick As we continue to explore the madness of unforgiveness, there are many questions that pop up. Here is a really important one. What about the imprecatory prayers in the Psalms? For those who may not know, many of the Psalms have what are called “imprecatory Psalms”, ones where David cried out to God because he didn’t understand why his enemy had been able to wreak so much havoc on him. One example is Psalm 69:24. David cried out to God, “Pour out your indignation on them, and let your burning anger overtake them.” If you want to explore more of the Psalms that fall...
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The Madness of Unforgiveness: No More Pain
A Moment of Hope
by David Chadwick Do you know what one of the ways is that you can be set free from the madness of unforgiveness? One of the ways you know you’ve truly forgiven? You don’t feel pain when you see your offender! After you’ve been hurt by someone, there’s a very good chance that you will still hear about them from others. You might even hear that they are doing well or prospering in one way or another. Or you might even run into them in public or at some event. It’s inevitable. Here’s a way you’ll know you’ve forgiven that person. When you hear their name, or hear of some blessing...
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The Madness of Unforgiveness: Forgiveness Doesn’t Equal Forgetting
A Moment of Hope
by David Chadwick There are so many layers to forgiveness. It takes practice, patience, and a deep pursuit of abiding in the presence of God. While forgiveness is radical, it’s not careless. God’s heart in teaching us forgiveness is for our good. It’s not to make us a doormat to other people’s poor treatment of us. It’s to set our hearts free from the prison that unforgiveness wants to hold us in and to keep us from the madness it creates! With that said, forgiveness does not equal forgetting. Sometimes we wrongly think that in order to forgive, we must forget. That only if we have...
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The Madness of Unforgiveness: 70 Times 7
A Moment of Hope
by David Chadwick 70 times 7. Jesus says that this is the number of times we must offer forgiveness to others. Read Matthew 18:21-22. Much of the entire chapter in Matthew 18 has to do with forgiveness. In Jesus’s day, within Hebrew culture, the number of 7 represented the number of completion. Therefore, when Peter asked Jesus how often to forgive someone else, he inquired if God’s idea of completion would be encapsulated in this question from Peter: “Are we supposed to forgive someone who has hurt us 7 times?” Jesus’s response to Peter is compelling. He said, “I do not say to you...
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The Madness of Unforgiveness: Forgive Your Enemies
A Moment of Hope
by David Chadwick You might be thinking after reading this title, “Wait a second, David. You mean Jesus’s teaching on forgiveness applies even to my enemies?” Yes! Now, take a moment and read Matthew 5:43-48. Jesus clearly taught his disciples to forgive their enemies. And he wants us to do the same! He knew that the natural instinct when people get hurt would be to retaliate with a bit more venom toward the offender. Retaliation always calls for just a bit more intensity, which makes the offended person’s retaliation a little bit worse. And then the offender would feel even more...
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The Madness of Unforgiveness: Remember God’s Amazing Grace
A Moment of Hope
by David Chadwick Today, let’s walk through another good exercise that should help us understand more about forgiveness. Read Romans 5. Whenever I read the first part of Romans 5, I am immediately struck by the insurmountable grace of God. It truly is amazing. There is nothing like it in the entire world. We have peace and access to a hope in God that we never would have otherwise experienced (Romans 5:1-2). While we were still walking in sin and bound by folly, Jesus chose to die for us (Romans 5:8). Look at some of the words used by Paul to describe us in our pre-Christ condition in Titus...
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The Madness of Unforgiveness: Go to the Person
A Moment of Hope
by David Chadwick As Christians, can we judge people? We learned yesterday that the answer is, “Yes.” However, there is a biblical way to do this. It must be done in humility and with the awareness that you, too, have sin that must be confessed. So, how do you go to someone who has hurt you? Let’s take a look at Matthew 18:15. A real life example may look something like this. You have been offended. Someone hurt you in a very intentional way. Start off by asking yourself if you should step over this offense. One good question is this, “If I were to share this situation with a trusted,...
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The Madness of Unforgiveness: Can I Judge Others?
A Moment of Hope
by David Chadwick When it comes to forgiveness, there are so many steps to carry it through to completion. There is a fine line between discerning clearly what is good from what is evil, and being able to fully release someone of the debt they owe to you. On one hand, you must maintain a measure of conviction when something bad happens to you because it allows you to rightly judge truth from error, which is a crucial skill to have while living in a broken world. But on the other hand, you don’t want your rumination on the reality of your correct diagnosis of evil to take you deeper into the...
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The Madness of Unforgiveness: Step Over the Offense
A Moment of Hope
by David Chadwick Forgiveness. It’s one of the most powerful forces in God’s creation. On the contrary, unforgiveness can easily hold people captive and destroy their lives. Let’s keep looking at the madness of unforgiveness. What is the best way to stop unforgiveness? If possible, step over the offense. Proverbs 19:11 says, “Good sense makes one slow to anger and it is his glory to overlook an offense.” Here is a pithy way that I like to remember this biblical truth. Offenses happen to us all. But good sense would say to step over offense! Some people will purposely offend us. Some...
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The Madness of Unforgiveness: Forgiveness is Not Reconciliation
A Moment of Hope
by David Chadwick Continuing to unpack the madness of unforgiveness, let’s talk about what forgiveness is and what it is not. Forgiveness is releasing someone else of the debt they owe you. Forgiveness is softening your heart to the ones who have hurt you. Forgiveness is remaining open, yielded and willing to respond to another however the Holy Spirit may lead you to respond. Remember the story of Joseph that we looked at a couple days ago? How he forgave his brothers after 22 years of separation and being wronged? Forgiveness can look wild and radical. Ultimately, forgiveness is freedom and...
info_outlineby David Chadwick
Continuing to unpack the madness of unforgiveness, let’s talk about what forgiveness is and what it is not.
Forgiveness is releasing someone else of the debt they owe you. Forgiveness is softening your heart to the ones who have hurt you. Forgiveness is remaining open, yielded and willing to respond to another however the Holy Spirit may lead you to respond. Remember the story of Joseph that we looked at a couple days ago? How he forgave his brothers after 22 years of separation and being wronged? Forgiveness can look wild and radical. Ultimately, forgiveness is freedom and victory.
But, forgiveness does NOT always mean reconciliation!
These are two separate actions. Forgiveness depends on one person: you.
But reconciliation depends on two people: you and the one who hurt you.
Biblically, you are commanded to forgive. It’s not optional and Jesus makes that very clear. Reconciliation, on the other hand, may or might not happen.
Yes, if you can possibly reconcile with another, that’s God’s best. After all, God gave us a ministry of reconciliation in Jesus (2 Corinthians 5:18-19).
Romans 12:18 says, “If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.”
But reconciliation is not always possible. Why? Well, for one the person who hurt you may have died. Or the trust within the relationship may have become completely eroded and impossible to regain. Or you simply may not want that person as your friend again for many different reasons. Whatever the reason, so long as it’s not rooted in hatred and bitterness, I think it’s okay not to reconcile the relationship.
Certainly, you must forgive. But you may not be able to reconcile the relationship. And I’m sure that Jesus has compassion when it’s simply impossible to do or you just don’t want to do it this side of eternity.
Just remember, you are always called to forgive as Jesus has forgiven you. That is his will for you.